Small salmon Var / WED 5-7-14 / Will Realistic Joneses playwright / When doubled Billy Idol #1 hit / Pan producer / Tell 1962 hit by Exciters / Daily bread of eyes per Emerson / Letter between sierra uniform / French CD holder

Constructor: Kurt Mueller

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: "IT'S SHOWTIME!" (63A: Possible title for this puzzle) — theme answers are all "intro words" from famous shows:

Theme answers:

• "HERE'S JOHNNY!" (17A: Ed McMahon intro words)
• "A ONE AND A TWO…" (24A: Lawrence Welk intro words)
• "LIVE FROM NEW YORK …" (39A: Chevy Chase intro words)
• "AND AWAY WE GO!" (51A: Jackie Gleason intro words)

Word of the Day: Will ENO (33A: Will ___, "The Realistic Joneses" playwright) —

Will Eno is an American playwright based in Brooklyn, New York. His play, Thom Pain (based on nothing) was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in Drama in 2005. […] 
In his Broadway debut, The Realistic Joneses began previews at the Lyceum Theatre on March 13, 2014 and officially opened on April 6, 2014, after a run at the Yale Repertory Theater in 2012. The play is directed by Sam Gold with a cast that stars Michael C. Hall, Toni Collette, Marisa Tomei and Tracy Letts. The New York Times reviewer of the Broadway production wrote: "But don’t come to the play expecting tidy resolutions, clearly drawn narrative arcs or familiarly typed characters. 'The Realistic Joneses' progresses in a series of short scenes that have the shape and rhythms of sketches on 'Saturday Night Live' rather than those of a traditional play. (Most are followed by quick blackouts.) And while the Joneses — all four of them — have all the aspects of normal folks, as their names would suggest, they also possess an uncanny otherness expressed through their stylized, disordered way of communicating... But for all Mr. Eno’s quirks, his words cut to the heart of how we muddle through the worst life can bring." (wikipedia)

• • •

Theme answers were all very easy to get, while the rest of the puzzle was often clued tough and vague. The result was a puzzle of pretty normal Wednesday difficulty. There is some nostalgic joy, perhaps, in recalling these shows, but I found this puzzle a little too straightforward for me, theme-wise, and often choppy and awkward, fill-wise. "LIVE FROM NEW YORK" is a massive outlier, in that all the other examples of "intro words" are the very last words of the intro. But "LIVE FROM NEW YORK…" needs the very crucial, show-identifying words "… IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!" to be truly parallel with all the others. I feel like Lawrence Welk is an outlier here too, but for reasons that have more to do with taste than anything else. All the other shows involve comedy somehow, and while I realize there are bits on the Lawrence Welk show that pass themselves off as comedy … no. All the other shows are comedically iconic. The Lawrence Welk show, well, isn't. But it is a show, and it was (probably?) on in primetime at some point (as opposed to now, when it is on weekend afternoons on my PBS station), so it's at least defensible, if not clearly fair.

[There's laughter in here, but it's the laughter of the damned…]

Had major, major trouble getting both 1D: Remaining (OTHER) and 2D: Where the action is (ARENA). Neither clue computed. At all. Had -THE- and -REN- and still no idea. Also thought Charles on a piano was looking for a last name, not a (famous) first one (RAY). So my start was very rough. But the initial "AON-" on the Lawrence Welk opener made that one a piece of cake, and once I broke into the middle via the obvious SNL opener, the puzzle got much tamer. I'm startled by the absolute terribleness of COHOE (7D: Small salmon: Var.). You should tear out the whole section before you let an out-and-out loser (never-seen "Var.") like that into your grid. Real, massive, intolerable blemish. Yeah, you've got a bit of a challenge there with the built-in --H-E, but if you can't get something real like TAHOE or OCHRE to work there, then Build The Grid Better so you don't have this problem. Gah. Choppy grid leads to predictable mediocrity in the short stuff: and EELER crossing an ETUI, an EMAG not far from ENO, etc. (what the hell was up with that ENO clue? (33A: Will ___, "The Realistic Joneses" playwright)—ENO is ENO, and making it tough to get, with an absurd "know it or you don't and you probably don't" clue, only makes it More annoying). LOOSE LIPS is a winner, but otherwise, but overall this one comes in slightly less than enjoyable, despite the inherent entertainment value of the themers.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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It has ringers on its team / WED 9-1-10 / French CD holder / Irish county north of Limerick / Restraints for writer Flagg / Number after sieben

Constructor: Michael Torch

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: ADD A PINCH OF SALT (61A: Cooking instruction hinting at this puzzle's theme?) — "NACL" is added to familiar phrases, creating wacky phrases, clued "?"-style


Word of the Day: CLARE (31D: Irish county north of Limerick) —

County Clare (Irish: Contae an Chláir) is one of the twenty-six counties of the Republic of Ireland and one of the thirty-two counties of Ireland, being located in the province of Munster. Located on the west coast of Ireland, Clare is northwest of the River Shannon covering a total area of 1,215 square miles (3,147 km²). The population of the county is 126,194 according to the 2006 census. Clare is the 8th largest of Ireland’s 32 counties in area and 19th largest in terms of population. (wikipedia)

• • •

Without the theme, this thing's D.O.A. Dull as a post. But the theme is clever, with some nice, long, weird answers, so it's not a total loss. Very slow getting started as I had No Idea what to do with that first theme answers. Needed virtually every cross to make any sense of it. In fact, I needed Every cross, as I recall thinking, briefly, "BARNACLE CRESTED?" Second theme answer was almost as weird, but for whatever reason, I could see the base phrase clearly (i.e. SCOTCH PINE), so I could see "NACL" had been added, and the theme was mine! Second half of the puzzle went Much faster as a result. Once again, we have a puzzle with a surfeit of short stuff, which makes for some rough, unpleasant, and overly familiar fill. Plus the longer stuff isn't doing anyone any favors. Both ONE NAME (43D: What Shakira or 25-Down [CHER] goes by) and SENT COD (4D: Not yet paid for, as a mailed package) are less than great. Didn't get SENT COD at all — every letter from crosses — and when I first saw it on reviewing the puzzle, I thought I had an error. Since when is mailing fish a gridworthy activity. Then I got it: not COD. C.O.D. Ah (so). I see.

Theme answers:

• 17A: Like a sunken treasure? (BARNACLE-CHESTED)
  
• 28A: High place near Aberdeen? (SCOTCH PINNACLE)
  
• 46A: Restraints for writer Flagg? (FANNIE MANACLES)
  

6-letter or shorter answer that gave me the most trouble: NUCLEI (8D: Centers). Why!?!? Well, many reasons. Vague clue, non-"S"-ending plural, etc. Also, I completely blanked on ERIN's name despite being a regular viewer of "The Office" (26A: Secretary on "The Office"). Wondered if JENA was spelled thusly, but then remembered that she hasn't been the secretary for a while. I was just having a conversation with someone about whether or not "Real Genius" was a movie one could reasonably ask puzzle solvers to know. With today's 6D: Kilmer of "Real Genius" (VAL) and with that wacky '70s chase movie no one had heard of a few Sundays back ("The Gumball Rally!?!"), I think that question has been answered. "Real Genius" is an important movie in my life. First, I loved it, and second it was filmed largely on my college's campus, and third, I'm not sure VAL Kilmer has ever been better. Highly recommended for light '80s college movie fun.

Did not have a great day on Tuesday— feeling both explicably and inexplicably blue— so I'm going to play a song that makes me exceedingly happy. Warning: the title, and chorus, *is* profanity. So just Don't Press Play if that sort of thing bothers you, OK? OK.


Coincidentally, a new live-action video for this song was released just today. Same song, same warning:


Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

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