Unfair, to Brits / SAT 4-27-24 / Pistol used by James Bond / NASA rocket name since 1957 / Hybrid shape with straight edges and rounded corners / Modern driving aid / Company logo derived from a state symbol

Constructor: Rich Norris

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: none 

Word of the Day: Thomas NAST (11A: "Father of the American Cartoon") —

Thomas Nast (/næst/; German: [nast]; September 26, 1840 – December 7, 1902) was a German-born American caricaturist and editorial cartoonist often considered to be the "Father of the American Cartoon".

He was a sharp critic of "Boss" Tweed and the Tammany HallDemocratic party political machine. He created a modern version of Santa Claus (based on the traditional German figures of Saint Nicholas and Weihnachtsmann) and the political symbol of the elephant for the Republican Party (GOP). Contrary to popular belief, Nast did not create Uncle Sam (the male personification of the United States Federal Government), Columbia (the female personification of American values), or the Democratic donkey, although he did popularize those symbols through his artwork. Nast was associated with the magazine Harper's Weekly from 1859 to 1860 and from 1862 until 1886. Nast's influence was so widespread that Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Thomas Nast was our best teacher." (wikipedia)

• • •

I thought the term was "TIPSHEET" and I thought the term was "DOORMAN" and that pretty much sums up my experience with this one—slightly off my wavelength. Like a radio station I never can quite get to come in clearly. On the other hand, knowing the term "NOT CRICKET" finally came in handy (I'm married to a Kiwi, so some of these Briticisms make their way into my house and brain that way, though I'm not sure how I know this particular Briticism) (53A: Unfair, to Brits). But I didn't have many other solving smiles today, except maybe "SQUEE!" (38A: Excited outburst), which is kind of ADORBS. Most of the longer answers felt a bit bland (LOCAL PAPER, STEP-BY-STEP) or clunky / awkward (AT A PREMIUM, BOOK ON CD), or, like, DOPESHEETS and DOORKEEPER, from some parallel universe where the answers are all slightly off—eerily ... -ISH. Also lots of stuff I just don't know much about—numismatics, regattas, guns. I read a lot of crime fiction and watch a lot of crime films, so the WALTHER PPK is familiar to me (20A: Pistol used by James Bond), but as I was solving, the only part I could get (or remember) was the WALTHER part. "PPK" played like a bunch of random letters that I had to get from crosses. I've never seen the word SQUIRCLE in my life and I hope never to see it again (35D: Hybrid shape with straight edges and rounded corners) (just inferred the SQU- part after changing CLING to CLUMP (41A: Stick together)). I know Thomas NAST well from teaching courses on comics but note I said "comics" and not "cartoons"—when I see "cartoon" out of context, I think animation. So even something familiar (and highly crosswordesey) like NAST didn't come easily for me today. Still, there were enough gimmes to give me the traction I needed to finish this in a pretty normal Saturday time. It was a fitting challenge, but not a fun one. Hard to get excited about advertising logos (TEXACO STAR) and tech from circa 2010 (SIRI, ROKU, WAZE) (SIRI is the youngest of these (2011), that surprised me (WAZE = '06, ROKU = '02 (!?))).

Did you know that DUMBWAITER and DOORKEEPER have the same number of letters and both start with "D"? Well, presumably you knew the "D" part, but I was surprised when I tested DUMBWAITER and it fit and it was "confirmed" by PERK and (I thought) STES (52A: Penthouses, e.g.: Abbr. => APTS). But AKA really wanted to be AKA (39A: Blotter letters), which messed up DUMBWAITER, and finally REEBOK confirmed that no, it wasn't DUMBWAITER. Do upscale buildings even have DUMBWAITERs? Well, yes, if the buildings are older mansion-type things, then they do. I'm semi-satisfied by the aptness of my wrong answer. I don't think I fell into any other holes besides the DUMBWAITER hole. I did try to spell WAZE "WAYZ" (28D: Modern driving aid). I also typo'd Mad LIBS as "Mad LIPS," which had me wondering (for a minute or so!?) what the number PI could have to do with "some coins" (17A: Like some coins => BIMETALLIC). You ever have your own typo hold you up? Maddening.

Other stuff:

• 30A: Regatta leaders (COXES) — made two bad assumptions here—one, that the regatta had to do with sailboats (like most regattas I've ever heard of), and two, that "leaders" meant "the ones who are ahead of everyone else in the race" (as opposed to the person sitting in the boat "leading" the rowers).
• 33A: Things drawn in a group (LOTS) — wanted OXEN, but I think that's just because OXEN might "draw" a plow. 
• 7D: NASA rocket name since 1957 (ATLAS) — this is probably a gimme if you grew up during the Space Race. I don't know how I got this. It's vaguely familiar. Once I got the "T" and "S" it went in. I thought it was going to be something much more esoteric, somehow.
• 38D: Kind of snapper, for short? (SLR) — the snappers are back. Yesterday, they were long-haired (actually, long-tailed) turtles, today, cameras (single-lens reflex).
• 57A: B.C. and others (ERAS) — LOL what? The entire history of time before the putative birth of Christ is just one "era" now? That's like when Phoebe asks Rachel what period the (Pottery Barn) apothecary table is from and Rachel says "uh, it's from Yore ... like, the days of Yore, you know?"

See you Sunday, I hope.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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Sports analyst Kimes / FRI 4-26-24 / Some long-tailed turtles / Device for an online conversation / Alternatives to booths, perhaps / Bare-bones outfit / Bird that can be "fire-capped" or "yellow-browed" / Big Apple fundraiser with a kind of apple in its name

Constructor: Matthew Stock and Christina Iverson

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: none 

Word of the Day: MINA Kimes (4D: Sports analyst Kimes) —

 

Mina Mugil Kimes (born September 8, 1985) is an American journalist who specializes in business and sports reporting. She has written for Fortune, Bloomberg News, and ESPN. She is a senior writer at ESPN and an analyst on NFL Live. (wikipedia)

• • •

Move over ["Dracula" heroine Harker]! There's a new MINA in town. I've been wondering when we were gonna see MINA (or KIMES) in a crossword grid, and here we are. Maybe a random proper noun to many of you, but I see her at the gym every time I'm there, which is to say my gym has ESPN on many of the TVs and so whenever NFL Live or Around the Horn or something like that happens to be on, there she is. I was at the bar earlier this month—there she was:

So even if you didn't know her, there's a good chance you've seen her ... ambiently. Ambient Kimes! She's also a crossword aficionado and an all-around charming human being, so this puzzle banked A Lot of goodwill with me right up front by including her. After that ... yeah, things were fine. Some highs, some lows, a pretty average Friday. Not a lot of whoosh for me today, as I couldn't get either of the long Across answers up top to go in, even with many many crosses already in place. Stared at -INBALLOTS for a bit, for sure (11A: Alternatives to booths, perhaps). And -CANTELEPHONE, too (14A: Device for an online conversation?). Oh, voting booths. Oh, tin cans. Connected by a string ("line"). I see, or saw, eventually. The front ends of those answers had impossible (for me) crosses. [Bar] for CANTINA was brutal (so many meanings of "bar"...), and MICRON, forget it, no idea (11D: One-millionth of a meter). If [Dots on a map] aren't ISLES then I don't know what they are, or at least am not confident enough to guess. That whole little NW bit was a mess. It ended up being the last thing I filled in. and man it felt dicey—was sure I was going to end up with some horrible-cross situation, but once I finally got SNAPPERS into place (I'd been reading the clue as [Some long-haired turtles] (???)), I could sorta squeeze that area from above and below and finally WRITE in the last answer, which I believe was WRITE. And right. The end. (Actually, it was TOWNS, but it's harder to pun on TOWNS ... something something Downs? Ah well, we'll never know...)

Those are good long answers up top, even though I struggled like hell with them. I also (aptly?) enjoyed FULL OF IT (34A: Talking nonsense) and the clue on MET GALA (45A: Big Apple fundraiser with a kind of apple in its name)—I love Met apples! Can't get enough of them! The long answers down below were the mirror opposite of their up-top cousins today, in that I solved both of them almost instantly, with very few crosses in place—and from the back end! They just seemed transparent. In fact, the only real difficulty down below came with the ambiguous clue at 37D: Perfect, e.g. (TENSE). I kept pronouncing and repronouncing "perfect" in my head, trying to figure out which it would be, per'-fect (adj.) or per-fect' (v.). But even knowing it's the adjective doesn't necessarily help too much. So that one crossed with DOS slowed me a tad (47A: They're OK) (i.e. DOS as opposed to DONTS). And then I wasn't sure of the vowel in PL-NKO (32D: "The Price is Right" game). If you'd told me it was PLUNKO I'd've believed you, so thank god RUDS is not a thing (41A: Purges => RIDS). Basically solved this one is clockwise fashion and so I ended where I started, with the difficulty of the NW. Was worried the SNAPPERS and the unheard of (by me) chess moves (PINS) were gonna absolutely wreck my big finish, but TOP DOGS got me through (20D: Big enchiladas).


Notes:

• 16A: National Bullying Prevention mo. (OCT.) — a worthy ... month, I'm sure, but how in the world and why in the world would anyone know this? May as well just clue it as [It's one of the mos., just guess]
• 42A: ___ the Lucky, nickname of a noted explorer (LEIF) — I'm guessing this is LEIF Erikson. I was not aware of his nickname. Apparently he got it for rescuing a group of shipwrecked sailors (hurray!) and converting Norse Greenland to Christianity (hur ... ray?).
• 7D: One for the record books? (CLERK) — the person who keeps the records (in their books) is a CLERK
• 53A: Signs of friction (SPATS) — wanted these to be SCABS (or SCARS)
• 6D: Intellectual gatherings (SALONS) — bad case of Crossword Brain today, in that I really wanted SYNODS here
• 25A: Trail marking (BLAZE) — when you "blaze a trail," you don't light it on fire, you mark it out ... with blazes, i.e. marks on trees.
• 30D: Cool bits of trivia (FUN FACTS) — fun fact: FUN FACTS are rarely fun and never actually "cool." Unless SNAPPERS really do have long hair—that would be a cool fun fact.

See you tomorrow!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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Novel parodied by Umberto Eco's "Granita" / THU 4-25-24 / City in the Pacific Northwest with a Russian-sounding name / Spider-Man adversary played by Jamie Foxx / Plant with lance-shaped leaves / Longtime judge on "Britain's Got Talent" and "America's Got Talent"/ Something checkered in New York's past? / Detroit ___, nickname for Malcolm X / Powerful card in the game President

Constructor: Hanh Huynh

Relative difficulty: Easy (after you get the trick)

THEME: HOLY COW (61A: "Wow!" ... or a phonetic hint to this puzzle's theme) — the letter string "COW" appears three times inside longer answers; each time, the letters in "COW" are separated by circled squares which represent "HOLE"s—those squares are literal holes (i.e. empty space) in the "COW" answers (so that you get a bunch of "hole-y COWs"!), but actual letters ("H,O,L,E") in the Down crosses:

The "hole"-y COWs:

• SC O WL (14A: Dirty look)
• SIMON C O WELL (21A: Longtime judge on "Britain's Got Talent" and "America's Got Talent")
• MOSC O W, IDAHO (46A: City in the Pacific Northwest with a Russian-sounding name)

The "hole"-y crosses (!):

• CHOLER (3D: Ire)
• WHOLE NUMBERS (4D: 1, 2, 3, etc.)
• PEEP HOLES (7D: Low-tech security measures on some doors)
• CORNHOLE (9D: Popular backyard game)
• HOLES OUT (47D: Sinks the putt)
• WHOLESALE (44D: Not retail)

Word of the Day: MOSCOW, IDAHO (46A) —

Moscow (/ˈmɒskoʊ/ MOSS-koh) is a city and the county seat of Latah County, Idaho. Located in the North Central region of the state along the border with Washington, it had a population of 25,435 at the 2020 census. Moscow is the home of the University of Idaho, the state's land-grant institution and primary research university.

It is the principal city in the Moscow, Idaho Micropolitan Statistical Area, which includes all of Latah County. The city contains over 60% of the county's population, and while the university is Moscow's dominant employer, the city also serves as an agricultural and commercial hub for the Palouse region.

Along with the rest of the Idaho Panhandle, Moscow is in the Pacific Time Zone. The elevation of its city center is 2,579 feet (786 m) above sea level. Two major highways serve the city, passing through the city center: US-95 (north-south) and ID-8 (east-west). The Pullman–Moscow Regional Airport, four miles (6 km) west, provides limited commercial air service. The local newspaper is the Moscow-Pullman Daily News. (wikipedia)

• • •

Woo hoo! If it makes me happy, it can't be that bad, and this one made me smile like I haven't smiled (at a puzzle) in a while, from the first "aha" ("Those squares are HOLEs! ... OK, why?") through the interesting themers and relatively clean grid to the revealer and the final "aha" ("HOLE"-y COWs!? ... omg, so dumb, I Love It!"). The revealer Really did its thing for me today. It really really paid off not trying to think too hard about the theme as I was solving (beyond the "HOLE"-goes-in-circle part). "All will be revealed," I assumed, and boy was I right. And then, like some kind of bonus blessing from the crossword gods, I followed the revealer with a trio (!?) of "?" clues All Of Which Landed: 

• 42D: Like like like this clue clue clue ... (ECHOEY)
• 37D: Something checkered in New York's past? (TAXI) 
• 44A: Wicked stuff? (WAX) (think candles)

OK that first one doesn't actually have a "?" in it, but you see what I mean—it tries to get cute ... and absolutely pulls it off. It's hard enough for the puzzle to get one of those wacky "?"-type clues to land most days, so three!? Right on the heels of a perfect reveal!? My lucky day. If this isn't one of my April "Puzzles of the Month," well, that means we're going to have some amazing puzzles in the next week, because right now this is my favorite themed puzzle of the month by a pretty decent margin (with Kwong's "A STAR IS 'B' OR 'N'" puzzle from last Thursday a worthy runner-up).

The hardest part was getting started, which, as I've said many times, is typical, especially with a tricky gimmick to SUSS out. 1A: Snap was probably the hardest answer in the whole (!) puzzle for me. I had JIF. Then wanted SEC. Then put Las Vegas on Mountain Time (MST) and tried MIN. Strike three. But I wasn't out! At some point the P from PST (Las Vegas's actual time zone) got me PIC ("gah, a camera snap!"), but the circled squares were still a mystery. From THRONES I was able to get enough of the puzzle to see NUMBERS, which allowed me to infer the "HOLE" (for WHOLE NUMBERS), which (finally) allowed me to see CHOLER! That's some olde-timey ire right there! You rarely see CHOLER outside older literature and vocabulary tests (thanks, Mr. Berglund!). So, a little work to HOE out those "HOLE"s (in "SCOWL"), and then a tentative "HOLE"-ing out of the "HOLE"s in SIMON COWELL, and when those "HOLE"s worked, I knew the remaining circled squares would also be "HOLE"s and the grid opened right up. What had been a medium-tough puzzle all of a sudden became quite easy, and I got some of that Whoosh feeling I usually look forward to on Fridays, sailing through SADDLES and SIMON COWELL, and ELECTRO and LOLITA, to end up in MOSCOW, IDAHO, where I have been before—my mom grew up in St. Maries, ID (also in the Idaho Panhandle) and at least one of her two sisters (my aunts) (obviously) went to college in Moscow (at the U. of Idaho). My aunt Nancy lived for a time in Lewiston, ID, which is only 30 miles or so south of Moscow. This is all to say that seeing MOSCOW, IDAHO in the puzzle made me happy in a way it is unlikely to have made most of you happy. You don't see the Idaho panhandle in puzzles much—Coeur d'ALENE sometimes, maybe—so it was delightful to see it brought into the thematic spotlight here. Despite not having spent a lot of time there, it's a part of the world I feel close to and am very fond of. 

Were there trouble spots? After getting the first HOLEs, not a lot. I hit the laptop brand (28D: Laptop brand) with only the "L" in place and had this flash of "&$^%, how should I know?" but then not more than a second or two later my brain was like "easy, buddy, you know this, it's LENOVO." Me: "Wait, how do I know that? I've never seen a LENOVO laptop in my life." Brain: "Who knows what you know? It's a mess in here, frankly. Just keep going!" I did not know (or forgot) that Malcolm X was ever nicknamed Detroit RED, but the rest of that NE corner was so easy that it hardly mattered (13D: Detroit ___, nickname for Malcolm X). I didn't really know the Spider-Man adversary in question, but I could infer ELECTRO pretty well after the first few letters (I like it—it's got good ... energy) (24D: Spider-Man adversary played by Jamie Foxx). I've got Carmen MCRAE on WAX in my house, so no trouble there (45A: Jazz singer Carmen). Only DETOO and LESSEE made me scowl (!) today. Otherwise, this was close to an ideal Thursday experience. Could've been a little tougher, but it's hard to complain about the difficulty level with a puzzle that sticks the landing like this. I have wondered aloud "Where have the delightful puzzles gone!?" Well—found one. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld 

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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Furniture retailer with an arboreal name / WED 4-24-24 / Tragic NASA mission of 1967 / Lewis who sang the theme for "Avatar" / Classic computer game in MoMA's video game collection

Constructor: Jeffrey Martinovic

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: LATERAL SYMMETRY (62A: Feature of this puzzle's grid and the answers to the six starred clues) — both the grid and the indicated answers (that is, THE INDIVIDUAL LETTERS THAT MAKE UP THE THEME ANSWERS) have lateral (mirror) symmetry along a vertical axis 

Theme answers:

• MAUI, HAWAII (3D: *Home to Haleakala National Park)
• "WAIT, WHAT?" (4D: *"Hold on, repeat that?")
• "MWAHAHA!" (45D: *[Evil laugh])
• MAXIMUM (46D: *Calculus calculation)
• "MAMMA MIA!" (10D: *Musical whose name is an Italian exclamation)
• HOITY-TOITY (11D: *Highfalutin)

Word of the Day: WEST ELM (4A: Furniture retailer with an arboreal name) —

 

West Elm (stylized as west elm) is a retail store that features contemporary furniture designs and other housewares. It is a wholly owned subsidiary of Williams-Sonoma, Inc. There are currently stores in the United States, Canada, Mexico, Australia, United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates. Customers are able to shop in-store, online, or through a catalog by telephone. The larger products such as sofas and beds are only displayed in stores for customers to see and feel in-person, likening West Elm to a pure catalog/online retail company. (wikipedia)

• • •

Again, I don't understand why this is an idea you'd want to build a theme around. Who cares or notices that (capital) letters of the alphabet have LATERAL SYMMETRY? And as for the grid ... crossword grids have LATERAL SYMMETRY all the time. All. The. Time. It's not a remarkable feature. Not in the least. So you've got a totally ordinary architectural element and then you've tied your hands behind your back and limited yourself to just ... [counting] ... eleven letters of the alphabet for your theme answers, all so you could go "look, those letters have LATERAL SYMMETRY?" When I say I don't understand, I mean I don't understand how anyone thought any of this would be fun or interesting from a solver's point of view. I mean, is anyone, literally anyone, excited to see MAUI, HAWAII? MAUI, HAWAII? Oh, that Maui! I was thinking maybe Maui, North Dakota, but of course, MAUI, HAWAII, I see it now (/sarcasm). I don't mind the other themers at all—they're nice answers, some of them—but do I care that their letters have LATERAL SYMMETRY? I do not. Also, did you know that there are no other Down answers besides the themers that have the same lateral symmetry? I would say this is nice attention to detail, and it is, but it's a detail that a. no one is going to notice, and b. potentially compromises the grid, i.e. your best choice for an answer at any given point when building your grid might, in fact, be a laterally symmetrical one, but for this theme, if the answer is a non-thematic Down, you'd now have to go off of that best choice if it were in fact laterally symmetrical ... and for reasons no one cares about. And if you think avoiding lateral symmetry is easy, notice that the Acrosses have HAM, and TAU, and WOAH ... all of them composed of laterally symmetrical letters. This is all to say that a lot of careful attention had to go into making a tree fall in the woods that no one is there to hear until you call out to them and say "hey guys, listen to that tree falling!? Hear it!?" Erm, kinda? Not really.

I say EWW to ERM. I say EWW to EWW too, in that I was told only yesterday that the spelling is actually just a two-letter "EW." Does the puzzle think I don't remember yesterday? Well, in general that's a pretty good bet, the days do kinda bleed into one another that makes them hard to distinguish, but that "EW" business, I remember. WOAH is also terrible but at least it was clued with special attention to its ugly wrongness (51A: "Slow down!," spelled unusually). Except ... WAIT, WHAT? No one would spell WOAH that way for *that* meaning of the word ("slow down"). Younger people do tend to spell it that way, but only to express astonishment, not to stop their horses. Bizarre cluing choice. ATAD is not "the smallest amount"—it's a totally unspecified amount—but I guess figuratively you can get away with this clue (I had ATOM here). ABYSM? (70A: Bottomless pit). LOL just say this word out loud to yourself a few times if you wanna feel silly. This is different from an ABYSS how? And how is it "appropriate" that OPRAH has a middle name that's the same* as her best friend's first name? (34D: Celebrity whose middle name is Gail, appropriately enough). It's a weird coincidence, I'll grant you, but there's nothing "appropriate" about it. If your middle name were WOOD and you grew up to be a carpenter, that might be "appropriate"; but unless we think of OPRAH as having grown up to be a windstorm, "Gail" doesn't really qualify as "appropriate."  

I don't know my Laotian currency from my Albanian currency, so KIP was an adventure (26D: Currency of Laos) ... wait, is Albania the LEK ... it is! Hey, maybe I do know my Laotian currency from my Albanian currency. Fascinating development. There were no particularly difficult parts of this grid, except maybe the far north, where my consumer habits didn't prepare me for what was being offered, i.e. I am only vaguely aware of WEST ELM and probably would've told you it was a clothing retailer (plus I thought the "arboreal name" was going to be WOOD-something); and as for IMODIUM (18A: Alternative to Pepto-Bismol) ... I know the name, but not how to spell it, and after Pepto, my familiarity with brand names in this category drops off sharply. Even ARCADIA, which is kind of in my wheelhouse, didn't come to me quickly (I thought maybe "Pan's domain" was something like ORGIES or PARTYING or something like that) (15A: Pan's domain in Greek myth). So I had to run a lot of crosses through that section before it filled out. Otherwise, smooth sailing. See you tomorrow.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld 

*Gayle (not actually “Gail”) King

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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Ending with screen in a modern portmanteau / TUE 4-23-24 / West known for her double entendres / Announces the big reveal in a magic act / Small coastal nation bordering Iraq / Yuck! I've dated him before. Swipe left / Morning, mother / Machu Picchu builders

Constructor: Judy Bowers

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium (Easy in general, but parsing a couple of those theme answers was tricky)

THEME: TWO (54D: Number of letters in every word of the answers to the starred clues — that's it; that's the theme:

Theme answers:

• "OH NO, EW, HE IS MY EX" (16A: *"Yuck! I've dated him before. Swipe left!")
• "SO, IS IT / UP TO ME?" (23A: *With 42-Across, "Well, do I decide or not?")
• "DO AS WE DO" (32A: *"Follow our lead!")
• "HI, MA. I'M UP" (37A: *"Morning, mother!")
• "OK IF WE GO IN ON IT?" (52A: *"Can this be a gift from all of us?")

Word of the Day: IROC (4D: Classic Camaro) —

 

The third-generation Chevrolet Camaro is an American pony car which was introduced for the 1982 model year by Chevrolet. It continued to use General Motors' F-body platform and produced a "20th Anniversary Commemorative Edition" for 1987 and "25th Anniversary Heritage Edition" for 1992. These were also the first Camaros with factory fuel injection, four-speed automatic transmissions, five-speed manual transmissions, four-cylinder engines, 16-inch wheels, and hatchback bodies. For 1987 a convertible Camaro was reintroduced, converted by ASC in relatively small numbers. The third-generation Camaro continued through the 1992 model year. [...] For 1985, Chevrolet introduced the IROC-Z version that was named after the International Race of Champions. Offered as an option package on the Z28, the Camaro IROC-Z featured an upgraded suspension, lowered ride height, specially valved Delco-Bilstein shocks, larger diameter sway bars, a steering/frame brace known as the "wonder bar", a special decal package, and an optional Tuned Port Injection system taken from the Chevrolet Corvette. It also shared the Corvette's Goodyear "Gatorback" unidirectional tires in a 245/50/VR16 size vs. the Corvette's 255/50/VR16 size, and received unique new aluminum 5-spoke 16-by-8-inch wheels. The new wheels were designed with different offsets front and rear, resulting in the words "Front" or "Rear" cast into the wheels to distinguish which wheel went where. // The Camaro IROC-Z was on Car and Driver magazine's Ten Best list for 1985. (wikipedia)

• • •

I actually psyched myself before opening today's puzzle, telling myself, "Come on! ... it's gonna be a good day! You're gonna find things to like in this puzzle!" And I am. But mostly I'm not. I don't know what you want me to tell you. I cannot pretend that this is acceptable. Even if you somehow found the theme charming, the fill, dear lord, I haven't winced this much in so long. Answer after answer that had me EXCLAIMing "Why?! This grid isn't that hard to fill, why is ACER crossing IROC in this tiny little corner you could fill a million ways!?" That NW corner, i.e. the very beginning, was an omen. 99% of the time, or thereabouts, when the fill in the NW corner is so bad that I have the urge to take a screenshot, the rest of the puzzle ... well, it doesn't improve. If you can't get a little corner like that into shape, what hope do you have with the rest of the grid? Actually, that was one of the weird things about this grid—the fill is worst up top and down below, where the the thematic material *isn't* so dense, while in the middle, where theme material is packed close together, the fill holds up, for the most part (not loving GAEL / SALA, but whatever—at least the theme density gives you an excuse there). I haven't audibly OOFed this much at a grid in a while, from IROC ACER to AGER ICERS to APAIN and UPRISE (do you mean "rise up"?) (42D: Rebel) through all the rest of the middling to sub-middling 3-4-5s, this one kinda hurt. Usually the long stuff comes to the rescue a bit, but probably the worst thing in the grid is an astonishing 10 letters long: SAYS PRESTO! (10D: Announces the big reveal in a magic act). I think I actually said "oh my god, No!" to my computer as I filled that in. SAYS PRESTO!!? I normally use EAT A SANDWICH as the gold standard of "random verb phrase that absolutely cannot stand on its own" but SAYS PRESTO really wants to be the new representative of that category. You say this ... when describing a magic act? How many ... times ... have you done that? (Answer: none, no times). SAYS PRESTO is about as solid an answer as EATS PESTO or LEAVES MODESTO. A comically preposterous answer.

As for the theme, I don't know. Hate to use the word "preposterous" two times so close together, but some of these imagined TWO-word statements do seem that way. I almost like them better when they *are* that way, which is why "DO AS WE DO" kinda ruins things—that's nowhere near the wacky weight class of the other themers. The least a theme like this can do is be consistently, ridiculously wacky, because let me tell you, as revealers go, TWO ... TWO? ... is not really cutting it. I wrote that answer in about halfway through my solve and just stared at it. Then stared into middle distance for a few seconds while I contemplated the nothingness of being that is TWO, summoning the courage to continue. I can't go on. I'll go on. The theme answers are frequently forced. Would you be as informal as "EW" but then use the formal "HE IS" instead of "HE'S"? Unlikely. And there's nothing in the "HI MA, I'M UP" clue suggesting that mom is rousing anyone—"morning" doesn't equate to "I'M UP" very well, or only tenuously. And the initial "words" in a few themers ("OH," "SO," "OK") seem arbitrary. But as I said up front, I can see finding the theme wacky and charming. I didn't, particularly, but I can see how one could. I cannot see how anyone could enjoy how poorly filled this grid is. It tops out at ordinary and frequently sinks far, far lower.

On the plus side, very easy! It's an undersized (14x) grid, so that'll help your solving time for sure, but that's not the only reason this was a speedy experience. Lots of short answers (as we've established), most of them very easy to get (esp. if you are familiar with the full panoply of crosswordese). I had one wrong answer while solving: FOLD for WILT (33D: Crumble under pressure). "Crumble" and WILT couldn't be more dissimilar at a literal level, but figuratively, yeah, the clue works. Time for coffee now. "HI MA, I'M UP!" (just saying hi to my mom in Longmont, CO, who maybe still reads me every morning—I haven't checked recently, but it seems likely. She's pretty ... let's say, loyal, lol. Love you, mom! Did you get my letter? The owl card? Let me know... and say hi to Amy [my sister] when you see her. XO)

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld 

P.S. Happy Shakespeare's birthday (observed) 

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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Spilling the tea, so to speak / MON 4-22-24 / Make out, in Britspeak / Slowpoke in a shell / British princess who was an Olympic equestrian / Two-legged stands / Mosaic decoration

Constructor: David J. Kahn

Relative difficulty: Very easy (Downs-only)

THEME: From COAL to WIND — for Earth Day ... a word ladder, with a few extra climate change-related theme answers

The ladder:

• COAL (1A: *Nonrenewable energy source ... and the start of an eight-step word ladder)
• COOL 
• WOOL
• WOOD (35A: *Energy source whose production contributes to 36-Across)
• FOOD (39A: *Energy source whose production contributes to 36-Across)
• FOND
• FIND
• WIND (64A: *Renewable energy source ... and the end of the word ladder)

Theme answers:

• GREEN POWER (18A: Sustainably produced electricity)
• GLOBAL WARMING (36A: One symptom of climate change)
• FOSSIL FUEL (54A: Carbon-based energy source)

Word of the Day: ABU Dhabi (41A: ___ Dhabi) —

Abu Dhabi (UK: /ˌæbuːˈdæbi/, US: /ˌɑːbuːˈdɑːbi/; Arabic: أَبُو ظَبِي ʾAbū Ẓabī Arabic pronunciation:[ɐˈbuˈðˤɑbi]) is the capital of the United Arab Emirates. The city of Abu Dhabi is the capital of the Emirate of Abu Dhabi and the UAE's second-most populous city after Dubai.

The city of Abu Dhabi is located on an island in the Persian Gulf, off the Central West Coast. Most of the city and the Emirate reside on the mainland connected to the rest of the country. As of 2021, Abu Dhabi's urban area had an estimated population of 1.5 million, out of 2.9 million in the emirate of Abu Dhabi, as of 2016. The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority is headquartered in the city, and was the world's 3rd largest sovereign wealth fund in 2022. Abu Dhabi itself has over a trillion US dollars worth of assets under management in a combination of various sovereign wealth funds headquartered there.

Abu Dhabi houses local and federal government offices and is the home of the United Arab Emirates Government and the Supreme Council for Financial and Economic Affairs. The city is home to the UAE's President, a member of the Al Nahyan family. Abu Dhabi's rapid development and urbanisation, coupled with the massive oil and gas reserves and production and relatively high average income, have transformed it into a large, developed metropolis. It is the country's centre of politics and industry, and a major culture and commerce center. Abu Dhabi accounts for about two-thirds of the roughly $503 billion UAE economy. (wikipedia)

• • •

Wow, a word ladder. Haven't seen one of those in ages, perhaps because they are in no way interesting. Buncha four letter words, the end. Yes, there's a quasi-environmental theme here, with the puzzle "going green" as it shifts from COAL to WIND, but the puzzle kind of undoes that word ladder with the longer them answers, which go from GREEN POWER up top to FOSSIL FUEL down below, with some species extinction (DIES OFF) along the way. This puzzle is meant to commemorate Earth Day, which is today, I just learned. I suppose it's vaguely Earth-y, but only vaguely. This puzzle doesn't have a climate change theme so much as it has a collection of words one might hear in a conversation about climate change. Maybe it's supposed to be dramatizing (encouraging?) a shift from nonrenewable to renewable energy? Some of the word-ladder words get climate-related clues, but the cluing there feels pretty forced, especially with so many of the ... rungs? ... having zero to do with climate. One of them (COOL) is even clued via air-conditioning (21A: *Air-conditioned, say), which seems bizarrely wrong-headed in a puzzle that's supposedly touting GREEN POWER and the fight against GLOBAL WARMING. The whole thing doesn't quite come together for me. It's like it knew the word ladder wasn't really theme-y enough, so it threw in a few buzz words and, Ta da: Theme! Ah well, it's Monday, and I've done worse puzzles. 

The Downs-only experience was remarkably easy, with only the SW corner giving me even the slightest bit of trouble. Took me a lot of Downs before I could reason out PERSONA, though RAN ON was the only Down there that gave me any real pause (I wanted something one-word, like RAVED) (33D: Talked incessantly). Lots of answers ending (or beginning) in prepositions today, which should've / could've made parsing those answers a bit of a problem, but I got most of those at first pass. Three ONs today is a bit much (ON A RUN, RAN ON, DAWNED ON), and then there's AT HAND and LOUSES UP and CUED IN, the last of which was the only Down that I abandoned and came back to. Oh, I think I abandoned AT HAND at first too. I actually wanted CUED IN, but something about it felt wrong—I wasn't sure it was a real phrase, musically speaking (45D: Signaled to begin, as a conductor might). But it all worked out rather easily in the end. I was lucky enough to know all the crossword people, from Sheryl LEE Ralph to LEN Cariou to Leslie NIELSEN (who wasn't clued as Leslie NIELSEN, but that's the great thing about solving Downs-only—those Across clues can be Anything you want them to be). Just watched Leslie NIELSEN on a Season 1 episode of The Love Boat, where he played an old friend of Captain Stubing's who is worried that his impending marriage won't work out because his fiancée is just too young for him (she's late 20s, he's pushing 50). This was his second Season 1 episode—in the earlier episode, he was married to Eva Gabor! Like all Season 1 stories, the Leslie Nielsen age gap one was incredibly stupid. Am I going to stop watching? I am not. Rick Nelson was on the one I watched today! And Jamie Farr! And an uncredited pre-famous Shelley Long! And you never know when Charo is going to show up! Stop watching? Unlikely.

I don't see anything else here that particularly needs explaining or commentating, so I'm gonna go read now. Enjoy Earth Day, whatever that means to you. I'm gonna spend it ... calling my insurance company to inquire as to why I got a massive bill for what I assumed was routine blood work. I can't remember ever paying a dime for blood tests, but wow do they want me to pay dimes this time. So many dimes. I really really hope there's been a mistake. Anyway, some fun phone calls await me this morning. And then a run to burn off the inevitable post-phone call anger. I will likely be running on the earth, so in my own (very) little way, I guess I will be celebrating Earth Day. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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