Baroque painter Guido / SUN 9-18-22 / Tragic showgirl of song / Animal working in the DMV in Zootopia / Word seen at the end of many Jean-Luc Godard movies / Liquor in tiramisu / Painter whose motifs include ants and eggs

Constructor: Katie Hale

Relative difficulty: Easy (very very)

THEME: "Because I Said So!" — themers are just things parents say to their kids (mostly disciplinary); these are clued wackily ("?"-style) as various occupations' "go-to parenting phrase"s:

Theme answers:

• "I'LL TURN THIS CAR AROUND!" (22A: Mechanic's go-to parenting phrase?)
• "SIT UP STRAIGHT!" (37A: Personal trainer's go-to parenting phrase?)
• "DON'T USE THAT TONE WITH ME!" (55A: Conductor's go-to parenting phrase?)
• "I TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES!" (79A: Mathematician's go-to parenting phrase?)
• "YOU'RE GROUNDED!" (100A: Air traffic controller's go-to parenting phrase?)
• "LET'S PLAY THE QUIET GAME!" (117A: Librarian's go-to parenting phrase?)

Word of the Day: Jardins d'enfants (60D: Jardins d'enfants, par exemple = ÉCOLES) —

nursery school [noun] a school for very young children. (dictionary.cambridge.com) [so basically it's the Fr. word for "kindergarten"] 

• • •

Wow, really thought "Jardins d'enfants" was gonna be some famous school, but it's just a literal French translation of "kindergarten." Bizarre ... why didn't they do what we did and just steal the German word? Annnnyway, that answer and HUDDIE (what in the actual heck!?) and RENI (same!) were just about the only answers to give me even a moment's trouble in this otherwise absurdly easy Sunday puzzle. I see how the theme clues are trying to turn this puzzle into something more than just "Things Parents Say," but the problem is, once you realize the answers are just gonna be "Things Parents Say," not only do you not need the theme clues, you're almost better off without them. I didn't bother looking at any of them after I got the first couple of theme and answers, and I'm really glad I didn't, because they would've been more distracting than helpful. What the hell does a "mathematician" have to do with "I'VE TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES!"? Like, because there's a number in there, all of a sudden it's part of the math profession now? Like everyday ordinary human beings don't use numbers? Baffling. And "DON'T USE THAT TONE WITH ME!" feels more apt for an art teacher than a conductor. I associate a conductor more with NOTEs than TONEs. Further, I really wanted that phrase to be "DON'T TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME!," which feels much more on the nose (twice as many hits for "DON'T TAKE" vs. "DON'T USE," per google). I sorta liked turning up all these disciplinary clichés, but this felt more like $100,000 Pyramid ("Things Parents Shout At You!") than a crossword puzzle.

PINK PANTHER and (esp.) TWO LEFT FEET really give this grid some oomph, for sure. Other than those answers, though, there's not a heck of a lot to comment on, good or bad. The grid is reasonably smooth, which is always nice. There are bumps here and there, but none that are that jarring. Beside the aforementioned names, which were from outer space as far as I was concerned, the only part that caused me anything close to trouble was the SW, and that was due almost entirely to the fact that I got the "T" in 125A: GPS calculations (ETAS) and wrote in RTES (this despite feeling, correctly, that I had already written ROUTE in the grid (40D: Road trip determination)). Because of that error, I couldn't see TEA (118D: Hot spot in England?) and I couldn't see "TELL ME!" (98D: "Spill it!"). Plus STARRY wouldn't stretch to fill the space at 92D: Like a clear night (STARLIT), and LAPIS is not a word I ever think of as a standalone thing (don't think I've seen it much without LAZULI in TOW). So yeah, there was some sputtering down in that corner, but there were enough easy answers to help me recover without too much effort. I think that's it. Hope you enjoyed the breezy cuteness of the concept, and hope you got more than 8 minutes enjoyment out of your solving experience (I didn't time myself, but I can't imagine I took that much longer than 8; certainly no more than 10).

["Don't you worry 'bout TWO LEFT FEET!"]

It's time once again for the Boswords Fall Themeless League—a ten-week crossword-solving competition / extravaganza. Here's tournament organizer John Lieb to explain:

Registration for the Boswords 2022 Fall Themeless League is now open! This 10-week event starts with a Preseason puzzle on Monday, September 26 and features weekly themeless puzzles -- clued at three levels of difficulty -- from an all-star roster of constructors and are edited by Brad Wilber. To register, to solve a practice puzzle, to view the constructor line-up, and to learn more, go to www.boswords.org. 

I don't compete in these, or I haven't so far, but John always sends me the puzzles once the season is over and they're always highly imaginative and of a very high quality. If you're looking for some reasonably low-key competitive solving experience, all from the comfort of your own home, you should definitely have at it. 

See you tomorrow (or next week for you Sundays-only folk),

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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Rooster raised for eating / SAT 9-17-22 / Org. running global championships since 1930 / Mascot whose head is a baseball / In which Nunavut means our land / Role in 2020's Trial of the Chicago 7 / Performs repetitive tasks to gain experience points in gaming slang

Constructor: Grant Thackray

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: none 

Word of the Day: Patricia WETTIG (32A: Emmy winner Patricia of "Thirtysomething") —

Patricia Anne Wettig (born December 4, 1951) is an American actress and playwright. She is best known for her role as Nancy Weston in the television series Thirtysomething (1987–1991), for which she received a Golden Globe Award and three Primetime Emmy Awards.

After her breakthrough role in Thirtysomething, Wettig has appeared in a number of films, including Guilty by Suspicion (1991), City Slickers (1991), City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold (1994), and The Langoliers (1995). She returned to television playing a leading role in the 1995 short-lived drama Courthouse and later played Caroline Reynolds in the Fox drama Prison Break (2005–2007) and Holly Harper in the ABC family drama Brothers & Sisters (2006–2011). (wikipedia)

 

• • •

I was surprised I got into this one as easily as I did. I ran through the spring Zodiac signs I know, and while both PISCES and GEMINI fit, they wouldn't work with 3D: Jacobean ___, which had to be ERA, so I figured the "sign" in 1A: Sign of spring must mean "evidence" and yeah, no idea there. But then I took an absolute guess at 2D: Name on a truck and it was ... right?! (HESS). And then I went back to the Zodiac for my [Sign of spring] and (voilà!) THE RAM:

You gotta look out for those "THE"s today, because they really come at ya. I was not terribly bothered by having THE RAM appear just two rows above THE SANDS OF TIME (the elegant marquee answer where the definite article feels most APT). But I lost patience a little with the third "THE" down below, at THE TANGO. It takes two to tango, not "two to do THE TANGO." Somehow if it's a modern party dance, like THE TWIST or THE WATUSI, I think the THE is great, but THE TANGO feels about as forced as THE WALTZ or THE MINUET. It's not wrong, it's just ... Definite Article Overload, man. I was also not a fan of MISS A CUE, today's entry in the "EAT A SANDWICH" sweepstakes. MISS A BEAT, that's a phrase. MISS A CUE ... sigh, squint, ok, I guess, but not really. My disposition toward this one was not warmed by the fact that the clue was difficult—I actually considered MISSLEEP at one point (?!) (6D: Go out too late). But as far as grid flaws go, THE TANGO and MISSACUE were about all that stood out. This one is very, very clean and virtually bump-free. It has that Flow that I love in a themeless. I wouldn't say I exactly "whooshed" around the grid, but I low-key whooshed. Slow-whooshed. It had a good beat and I could dance to it. But not THE TANGO. Some other dance.

There were cluing problems, however. A couple of big ones, involving marquee answers. The more minor problem involved the clue on AUDIO-VISUAL AID (47A: Slide behind a speaker, maybe). Since AUDIO is not strongly associated with a slide, I dunno... I wrote in AUDIO because it seemed like it had to be right, but then had some trouble filling in that little SW section at the end and so actually started doubting AUDIO. I guess AUDIO-VISUAL AID is a broad category that includes "slides," so it's not wrong, but I would've liked something more audio-y there, for clarity's sake. The much more major cluing problem came at 12A: Question ... oh, crud ... I just realized, just now, that I misread the clue! (12A: Question in a lot of cars?). Well, that is, I didn't notice its trick / punny meaning. Gah! I thought the clue was telling me that "WHERE DID I PARK?" was a question one hears in a lot of (i.e. a great many) cars, and I was like "but ... but ... but ... if you're already in your car ... doesn't that mean ... how ... why are you asking this!?!?" But of course "lot" here means a car lot or parking lot, so you hear the question in the lot, probably walking around, clicking your little chirpy key-ring mechanism, and yes, that tracks. I hereby retract the objection that I was going to make. Or, rather, I ... don't make it. I make it not. No objection! Aborted objection overruled!

Some notes:

• 19A: Like certain corrections (PENAL) — pfffff OK, technically, yes, I guess, but since you wouldn't say "PENAL corrections" (would you?) this one feels weird. It was very hard for me, and came right in the middle of the whole MISSACUE fiasco. 
• 4D: Possible source of monthly income (RENTER) — I had RENTAL. This also happened near MISSACUE junction.
• 32A: Emmy winner Patricia of "Thirtysomething" (WETTIG) — remembered her, but not her vowels, my god. WITTIG, WITTEG, WETTEG, WETEGG, WETLEG, who knows!? Patricia WETTIG is married to Ken OLIN of crossword fame (also of "Thirtysomething" fame). I just realized I confuse Ken OLIN and Bob Saget. But only visually, not in crosswords.

• 25D: Relationship strains? (DUETS) — there were entirely too many "?" clues for my taste today, but this was a good one (with "strains" meaning "tunes").
• 7A: Performs repetitive tasks to gain experience points, in gaming slang (FARMS) — "in gaming slang" is a strong indicator that I won't have any idea what the hell is going on. Here, I was really, really glad I knew FIFA, because otherwise, hello Natick! I hope you at least knew FIFA! Game crossing game! Not sure how this cross is going to play for some of you...
• 19D: Hideout for Blackbeard (PIRATE COVE) — Had the "PIR-" and so got this one easily *except* for that "O," which I left blank at first because I thought a PIRATE CAVE might be a thing (pretty sure it is a thing). 
• 43D: Role in 2020's "The Trial of the Chicago 7" (SEALE) —That's Bobby SEALE, co-founder (with Huey Newton) of the Black Panther party.
• 29D: Motivated, with "under" (LIT A FIRE) — this clue is so interestingly odd that I almost completely forgot that LITA FIRE is basically MISS ACUE's slightly but only slightly better-looking cousin. EAT A SANDWICH, LITA FIRE!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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