Storage room in a church / TUE 3-24-26 / Race that no one can win cleanly / Hidden area of the internet / "The Luncheon" painter / "The Buffet" painter / ___ Cruz, at 6'7" the tallest shortstop in M.L.B. history / It may be found at the end of the line

Constructor: Killian Olson

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging (***for a Tuesday***)

THEME: STARVING ARTISTS (60A: What you might punnily call 17-, 27- and 48-Across, given the paintings in their clues?) — artists clued via paintings that deal with eating:

Theme answers:

• LEONARDO DA VINCI (17A: "The Last Supper" painter)
• CLAUDE MONET (27A: "The Luncheon" painter)
• PAUL CÉZANNE (48A: "The Buffet" painter)

Word of the Day: ONEIL Cruz (30D: ___ Cruz, at 6'7" the tallest shortstop in M.L.B. history) —

Oneil Cruz (born October 4, 1998) is a Dominican professional baseball center fielder and shortstop for the Pittsburgh Pirates of Major League Baseball (MLB). He made his MLB debut in 2021 and led the National League (NL) in stolen bases in 2025.

• • •

Today's write-up has to be pretty short because my wife gets in from NZ (via NYC) at 2:20am and so I'm kind of in a sleep no-man's-land. Not gonna get enough sleep no matter how I slice it. I'm writing this just after 10:00pm (when the puzzle comes out), but I do want to try to sneak in a little sleep before 2:00am, if I can, so ... yeah, like I say, gonna be quick about it. I don't exactly get why a (literally?) starving artist would paint a dining experience, but OK, if you're "starving" you're hungry, and so maybe you've got food on your mind? I guess it makes sense. What's weird, though, is that in order to make the theme work, the clues have to resort to two paintings that are not (at least not by name, not to me) iconic. The first one, sure, LEONARDO DA VINCI, obvious, no problem. But The Luncheon??? If I've seen it, I definitely didn't catch its name. Not a painting I can imagine right now, sitting here, without looking it up. Ditto Cézanne's The Buffet. You say The Last Supper, and bam, I can see that painting in my mind's eye, immediately. The others ... nope. Which means that those clues were absolutely no help in getting the painters. May as well just have said [A famous painter]. The idea here is cute enough, but it feels maybe more Wednesday than Tuesday. This definitely played slower than most Tuesdays. 

[The Last Supper]

[The Luncheon]

[The Buffet]

And it wasn't just the themers that slowed me down (slightly). I got held up by ordinary clues, repeatedly, starting in the NW, where FILL as [Permeate] just did not click for me at all. Permeate implies something more ... liquid? ... so I had SEEP there. And the FISH clue was definitely late-week stuff (1A: It may be found at the end of the line) (why is a FISH calling me???)*. So I was slow out of the gate, and then very slow in the dead center, where two things I've never heard of (MUD RUN? ONEIL Cruz?) stood side-by-side. ONEIL (no apostrophe) was particularly "O"nerous because that answer was the only way I was going to be able to differentiate MANET from MONET ("The Luncheon"? Honestly sounds more MANET than MONET to me...) (in fact ... hey, didn't MANET paint Déjuener sur l'herbe ("Luncheon on the Grass")??? He did! No wonder "Luncheon" gave me MANET vibes.

[Déjeuner sur l'herbe, Edouard Manet, 1863]

If you wanted a baseball ONEIL, I mean, Buck O'NEIL is right there.** Negro Leagues superstar. First African-American coach in M.L.B. history. Hall of Famer. Whereas all ONEIL Cruz has done so far is lead the league in stolen bases once (which I know only because I looked it up). So, yeah, the middle was a mess for me. Beyond MUD RUN (29D: Race that no one can win cleanly) and ONEIL, there was also the somewhat vaguely clued MYRIAD, which crossed YAY, which I thought might be RAH (44D: "Hurray!"). I also totally forgot CÉZANNE's first name. That's a me problem, for sure, but it compounded the slowness in an already slow section. 

The fill was MEH. The long Downs are OK. DARK WEB is kinda nice as an answer (I have no idea what it's like as a place—seems bad) (5D: Hidden area of the internet). Maybe a few too many olden repeaters today (MRE, ATTA (as clued), AGAR, ESPY, DES, URAL). Don't have much more to say about this one. Well, a little more...

Bullets:

• 51A: "There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's ___": Poor Richard's Almanack ("SELF") — ugh, fill-in-the-blank quote clues. I cannot understand giving this much cluing real estate over to a quote this banal. 

• 28D: "Love," euphemistically ("L" WORD) — pfft, this did not compute. I had -W-RD and was like "... is love a SWORD? Is it an AWARD?" To me, The "L" WORD is "lesbian." 

• 56D: Grammy alternative (NANA) — yet another example of late-week cluing. Not the musical Grammy, but the "nickname for grandma" grammy. I wanted to say "no one calls their grandma that" but it is in fact exactly what my daughter has always called my stepmother, so ... touché, puzzle!

OK, off to sleep now. For 3-ish hours. Assuming I fall asleep quickly (ha). 

See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

*please, no letters, I'm joking  

**there's also Paul O'NEILL, but as you can see, he spells his last name with two "L"s

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Faddish 1980s plush toy / MON 3-23-26 / Reggae-adjacent genre / Off-putting aura / Popular character actor in both "The Godfather" and "Barney Miller" / Avian metaphor for a romantic couple / Kind of terrier named after a Scottish island

Constructor: Matthew Luter

Relative difficulty: very Easy (solved Downs-only)

[7D: Pascal of "The Mandalorian"]

THEME: WEIRD VIBE (64A: Off-putting aura ... or what 17-, 25-, 40- and 50-Across each have?) — theme answers contain letters strings that are "weird "VIBE"s (i.e. scrambled versions of "VIBE"):

Theme answers:

• ABE VIGODA (17A: Popular character actor in both "The Godfather" and "Barney Miller")
• LOVE BIRDS (25A: Avian metaphor for a romantic couple)
• EXECUTIVE BRANCH (40A: Part of the federal government that includes the presidency)
• MOVIE BUFF (50A: Cinema lover)

Word of the Day: CARE BEAR (9D: Faddish 1980s plush toy) —

Care Bears are multi-colored bears, painted in 1981 by artist Elena Kucharik to be used on greeting cards from American Greetings. They were turned into plush teddy bears and featured in the animated TV specials The Care Bears in the Land Without Feelings (1983) and The Care Bears Battle the Freeze Machine (1984) before headlining their own television series called Care Bears from 1985 to 1988. They also had multiple feature films, including The Care Bears Movie (1985), Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (1986), and The Care Bears Adventure in Wonderland (1987).

Each Care Bear is a different color or shade and has a unique image on their stomach (referred to in various media as "tummy symbols" or "belly badges") that represents their personality or specialty. The Care Bears family also include the Care Bear Cousins, which feature different animals, such as a lion, sheep, penguin, elephant, rabbit, raccoon, dog, cat, monkey, pig and horse created in the same style as the Care Bears. (wikipedia)

• • •

Very basic theme concept, but well executed. Felt like a three-star puzzle, but I gave it a little bump because the theme answers themselves are really nice answers on their own, and because the weird "VIBE"s were embedded in the proper manner (i.e. broken across both parts of a two-part phrase). The revealer itself is a fresh phrase. In short, a fine Monday puzzle. Also, a bizarrely easy Monday puzzle to solve Down-only. Usually, the longer answers will give me at least a little trouble on a Downs-only solve, but today, I got three out of four of them at first glance, off just their first one or two letters. AMENITIES, UNSEATED, INCENTIVE—all of them went right in and ended up being correct. The only answer that gave me the slightest bit of trouble was CARE BEAR, and that's largely because I think of the Care Bears as a cartoon, not as faddish 1980s plush toys. They must have started as faddish 1980s plush toys and then moved into cartoondom. I don't remember. By the 1980s, I was already (way) too old to care about CARE BEARs. But even CARE BEAR didn't take much effort, in the end. Got a few crosses by inference and bam, there it was. Can't see a single answer that could've caused anyone any real trouble. Remedial even for a Monday. But still pretty nicely done, overall. I'd rather not think about the EXECUTIVE BRANCH of government at this point, or for the next 2.5 years, but that's hardly the puzzle's fault.

One of the things I liked about today's puzzle, especially solving it Downs-only, was that the theme actually helped me out. I mean, it's possible I wouldn't have needed the help at all, since the puzzle was generally so easy, but after the first two themers fell into place, I could tell that we were just dealing with a letter scramble ("V" "E" "B" "I") and so when I was working my way into the SW corner, after getting the "E" and "B" in what ended up being MOVIE BUFF, I knew the remaining two circled letters were going to be "I" and "V," and since EXECUTIVE BRANCH already had the "IVEB" string, I reasoned that the strings wouldn't duplicate, and so the last string must be "VIEB." Wrote those letters in and those Downs became that much easier. It's always a little more fun to solve when understanding the theme helps you out somewhat. 

Bullets:

• 17A: Popular character actor in both "The Godfather" and "Barney Miller" (ABE VIGODA) — do the kids know ABE VIGODA? Do they do ABE VIGODA Tik-Toks or whatever? If you are of a certain age (45+, maybe), or are a real MOVIE BUFF (or just a Godfather fan), then ABE VIGODA is basically a household name. I don't think he's been in anything culturally noteworthy since the late '70s. He was in a Super Bowl commercial for Snickers in 2010 with Betty White. That has to have been the most-viewed thing he did since Barney Miller. I was stunned (just now) to learn that he didn't die until 2016. Turns out, thinking ABE VIGODA was dead was a running gag since the early '80s:

Prior to his actual death in January 2016, Vigoda was a repeated victim of mistaken death announcements. These led to jokes, often with Vigoda as a participant. // In 1982, People magazine mistakenly referred to Vigoda as dead. At the time, Vigoda, aged 60, was performing in a stage play in Calgary. He took the mistake with good humor, posing for a photograph published in Variety, in which he is sitting up in a coffin, holding the erroneous issue of People. (wikipedia)

• 1D: Sounds made with the fingers (quick!) (SNAPS) — I got this easily enough, but was confused by the "(quick!)" part. Is the clue telling me to be quick? Is it saying the SNAPS mean "be quick!"? Are SNAPS made with quick fingers? I love the quirky energy of the "(quick!)" part, but you shouldn't sacrifice clarity for quirkiness.
• 13A: "The ___ Game" (song that begins "Shirley Shirley bo-berley, bonana fanna fo-ferley") ("NAME") — funny that the longest clue in the puzzle is for an answer that's only four letters long. I admire the commitment to the bit—could've stopped at "bo-berley" and the answer would've still been gettable, but clearly someone thought, "you know what, it's Monday, not a hell of a lot else going on, so let's keep going." I only wish they'd had the courage to go all the "fee fy mo-merley ... Shirley" way. You've got room, and if not, just take some words away from that long-ass MOTOR clue (11D: ___ Trend (magazine that chooses a Car of the Year annually)).

That's all for today. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd]
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