Gets a pooch to attack / TUE 6-2-26 / Word after video or Scotch / Fusion weapon, familiarly / Hindi term meaning master or mister / Original name of a popular shared-ride service / Chris with the 1991 hit "Wicked Game" / Wash with a glycol spray, as an airplane / Silver weapon brandished by one hoping for gold / Sea sight in black and white / Rock that's fracked to release oil

Constructor: Rich Katz

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: "2, 4, 6, 8..." — first words of four themers are all homophones of the numbers in the chant familiar from the end of youth sports matches: "2, 4, 6, 8 ["TOO, FOR, SICS, ATE"], WHO DO WE / APPRECIATE! [The other team], [The other team], hurray!" (56A: With 63-Across, question hinted at by the beginnings of 17-, 21-, 25- and 48-Across)

Theme answers:

• TOO LATE NOW (17A: "You missed your chance!")
• FOR REAL (21A: "It's legit!")
• SICS THE DOG ON (25A: Gets a pooch to attack)
• ATE LIKE A BIRD (48A: Picked at one's food, in an avian metaphor)

Word of the Day: Chris ISAAK (53D: Chris with the 1991 hit "Wicked Game") —

Christopher Joseph Isaak (born June 26, 1956) is an American singer, songwriter, guitarist and occasional actor. Noted for his reverb-laden rockabilly revivalist style and wide vocal range, he is widely known for his breakthrough hit and signature song "Wicked Game" as well as international hits "Blue Hotel", "Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing", and "Somebody's Crying".

With a career spanning four decades, Isaak has released 13 studio albums, toured extensively with his band Silvertone, and received numerous award nominations. His sound and image are often compared to those of Roy Orbison, Elvis Presley, Ricky Nelson, and Duane Eddy.

Isaak has associated with film director David Lynch, who has used his music in numerous films. As an actor, he played supporting roles and bit parts in films such as Married to the Mob, The Silence of the Lambs, Little Buddha, That Thing You Do! and Lynch's Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, and starred in two television series: the sitcom The Chris Isaak Show and the talk show The Chris Isaak Hour. (wikipedia)

• • •

It should be WHOM.*

Do teams still do "2, 4, 6, 8"!? Are people from other countries familiar with this chant? I haven't thought about it since grade school—very familiar, but not something I've heard in a long time. I don't know of any context for it besides youth sports. I'm not sure it makes for much a crossword theme. It's vaguely interesting that there are ordinary-word homophones for each of the first four even numbers (not true for the odds, except 1), but the operative word here is "ordinary," and these phrases are either not very interesting (FOR REAL) or exceedingly contrived. Thematically, this one lost me completely at SICS THE DOG ON, both because the phrase is long and clunky and doesn't sound great as a standalone answer, and because it's so grim. No using dogs for violence. Gross. And that clue ... [Gets a pooch to attack]!? You don't get to use a term of endearment ("pooch") if this is how you use your dog. You've lost the privilege! No "doggo" or "buddy" or "pupper" either. SICS is a desperate homophone. I guess it's the only word you can use if you want to pull off this theme, but ... maybe that's a sign. An OMEN. That the theme isn't worth it. SICS THE DOG ON also crosses a mess of the worst fill, stuff like REWOVE (?) and UBER POOL (ugh, how many various UBER product names can the puzzle possibly shill for? It's like it finds a new one every month) (10D: Original name of a popular shared-ride service), and then a mess or crosswordese like NYET HBOMB and ANAIS. An SAHIB is right there as well—all stuff that people used to cram into puzzles seemingly every day when I was starting out, but which as (thankfully!) faded from view somewhat in the intervening decades. EMEND EKED ISAAK OWLETS EPEE EPPS ... the overfamiliar stuff keeps coming. And it's all point-and-shoot easy. No real trickery or cleverness anywhere, beyond the theme. A tidal wave of 3-4-5s. No real high points. Felt like a filler puzzle from days of yore.

The clues are kind of trying to liven things up. There are four "?" clues, but three of them aren't much trouble at all (the clues on UMP, NYET, OWLETS). Only the fourth made me go "huh?" ... and not in a good way. I truly do not understand how my HEEL helps me get my leg up. Your hip flexors and quads are largely responsible for lifting your leg. Is the idea that you're pushing off with your HEEL to ... what, climb stairs? That's not how people climb stairs? I'm at a loss. Maybe you're doing squats and driving through your HEEL? I do not understand what the clue means by "up" here. "Get a leg up" is a familiar idiomatic phrase, yes, but the "?" here indicates that there's a play on words here, presumably that the idiom is meant to be taken literally, but as I say, I'm at a loss as to how this works (someone in the comments suggested that HEEL refers to part of a shoe—huh, OK). One other question, which may be more of a comment: why is "avian" necessary in the ATE LIKE A BIRD clue? (48A: Picked at one's food, in an avian metaphor). I see how it makes the clue a lot easier, but it's totally unnecessary. The metaphor is well known; you don't have to shout "the one with the bird in it!" Trust solvers to figure out simple things like this. It's insulting otherwise.

Bullets:

• 42A: Part of a shoe or many a bra (LACE) — Me: "STRAP! It's STRAP! ... why won't STRAP fit!? It's obviously STRAP. STRAP, I say!" This is the one clue that seems to at least be trying for trickiness, in that the "LACE" is different in these two contexts (i.e. a shoe LACE is a very different thing from the LACE on a bra). I don't understand why it's "a shoe" but "many a bra." True, not all bras have LACE, but then not all shoes have LACEs either, so ... ??? "Many a" should apply to both or neither.
• 52A: Wash with a glycol spray, as an airplane (DEICE) — unlike with "avian" in the ATE LIKE A BIRD clue, I appreciated the extra help here ("as an airplane"), as I could not have told you what "glycol spray" was. 
• 49D: Emirate that was the site of Operation Desert Storm (KUWAIT) — like siccing dogs on people, Operation Desert Storm is something I'm fine never seeing mentioned again in my crossword. You've already got H-BOMB in here (29D: Fusion weapon, familiarly), isn't that enough militarism?
• 53D: Chris with the 1991 hit "Wicked Game" (ISAAK) — he really had a moment in the early '90s. I have no idea how well known he is any more ... outside of crosswords, that is, where his name is occasionally very handy (double-A!) and not to be confused with ISAAC or IZAAK (as in IZAAK Walton, who is real, old-school crosswordese; I don't think I'd know him or the work he wrote (The Compleat Angler) without crosswords ... although he did write a bio of Donne, but I know that only because I teach Donne, which most people ... don't). Coincidentally, I encountered Chris ISAAK just yesterday, as we watched David Lynch's Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992) just last night, and ISAAK has a pretty large role as an FBI detective early in that movie (alongside Kiefer Sutherland, who I forgot was even in the movie). 

• 28D: Bone in the lower leg (TIBIA) — lots of leg anatomy in the puzzle today. Your shin bone (TIBIA) is not connected to your HEEL bone, but it gets pretty close.

That's it. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

*No, I'm not serious. Grammatically correct, but not serious.  

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Coolness, in Gen Alpha slang / MON 6-1-26 / High-waisted fashion trend of the 1990s / Physiques that aren't quite perfect / Superfan's ticket purchase / It measures audience feedback / Pouncing predator / Southernmost country in Central America / Reality show starring the "Fab Five"

Constructor: Kenneth Cortes

Relative difficulty: Easy (solved Downs-only)

THEME: CAME OUT ON TOP (43A: Emerged victorious ... or what this puzzle's constructor did, as indicated by the shaded squares) — the shaded squares at the "top" of the grid contain a message: "MOM, DAD ... I'M QUEER!" 

Theme answers:

• MOM JEANS (3D: High-wasted fashion trend of the 1990s)
• DAD BODS (4D: Physiques that aren't quite perfect)
• "I'M THERE!" (9D: "Sign me up!")
• "QUEER EYE" (10D: Reality show starring the "Fab Five")

Word of the Day: CLAP-O-METER (30D: It measures audience feedback) —

A clap-o-meter, clapometer or applause meter is a measurement instrument that purports to measure and display the volume of clapping or applause made by an audience. It can be used to indicate the popularity of contestants and decide the result of competitions based on audience popularity. Specific implementations may or may not be based on actual sound level meters. Clap-o-meters were a popular element in talent shows and television game shows in the 1950s and 1960s, most notably Opportunity Knocks, but have since been supplanted by other, more sophisticated, methods of measuring audience response.

Today, various digital implementations exist across different platforms. Mobile applications for iOS and Android offer portable measurement, while specialized browser-based tools or PC software provide solutions for live events. Some free-to-use software, such as the "Applaus-O-Meter", provide full features without advertisements or in-app purchases, often including event management tools like integrated timers. (wikipedia)

• • •

Well it turns out I'm not made of stone. I sat here looking at the message in the shaded squares thinking "well, that's an interesting theme for the start of Pride Month" (Happy Pride Month, btw), and then (beat, beat) I was like "wait a minute ... is he ... is this ... no? that can't be right." Since I was solving Downs-only, I pieced together CAME OUT ON TOP but I never saw the clue until I was finished. And omg, there it is: "What this constructor's puzzle did..." Now I've been solving puzzles forever—forever, I tell you!—and I've seen constructors do a lot of creative things. Marriage proposals, that's been done a bunch. Election predictions—that one was famous! And while I've seen a number of insanely creative queer-themed puzzles, I have never, and I mean never, seen someone come out (To Their Parents!) in a crossword puzzle. I printed out a clean puzzle, took it into my wife, and said "you have to solve this right now." She also solves Mondays Downs-only, and two minutes later she marched into my office holding the puzzle up with just the shaded message part filled in, looking at me with amazement. I was like "I Know" and suddenly there were tears in my eyes goddamn it, what the hell, this is not supposed to happen. Puzzles are not supposed to be unaccountably moving. I'm supposed to come up here on Sunday evenings, knock out the Monday puzzle, do my little write-up and then go to bed, happy in the knowledge that I get to sleep in tomorrow! It's Monday! Mondays are light, breezy, badda boom, done and done. But no, this puzzle had to go and get all emotional and joyful and ... original on me. And aside from being an important life event (!), the theme is actually well executed. Nice little play on words. Clean fill. Snappy longer answers. If this doesn't deserve five stars, nothing does. Congratulations, kid. I hope your parents are proud. You certainly should be. 

The Downs-only solve was a breeze, which was nice, for once. The last thing I needed was a catastrophic failure to ruin the good vibes of this puzztheme. I did have some trouble parsing APEXAM when it was just APE-AM. I was like "the ape is doing what now? APE JAM? is that something?" But once I got out of there it was smooth sailing all the way to the end. ADMONISH off the "A"! (37D: Give a tut-tut, e.g.). SEASON PASS off the "S"! (29D: Superfan's ticket purchase). CLAP-O-METER off the "C"! (30D: It measures audience feedback). HAT STAND off the HAT, even though my whole brain was like "the term is HAT RACK!" (39D: Place to hang a fedora). I couldn't miss. That is, I couldn't miss until I could. At the very end. The very very end. I ended up at the last clue: 53D: Pouncing predator, and ... uh oh. The answer was not, uh, leaping out at me, and all of the crosses had multiple possibilities. PO-E = POKE? PORE? POPE? POSE? Was it ABIT or ABUT? SOLE, SOME, SORE? SEER or SEAR? But more importantly, what four-letter predator pounces? Finally I was like "hey, what about PUMA? That works. They pounce. Feels ... wrong, but give it a try." And so I did, and ... no "Congratulations" message! What!? "What the hell?! That has to be right!" And it was. See if you can find what I had wrong:

Got a little hasty / sloppy in the SW corner, and wrote in ATONED instead of ATONES (44D: Makes up (for)). If I'd checked the crosses carefully, I'd've noticed my mistake (SADH is not a word!) (61A: It might read "Miss Universe" = SASH). I found the error eventually, and all was right with the world again. And once again, hurray for everyone being able to be themselves and loving whoever they love. Every coming out is a beautiful little victory against the CREEPY people who want us to live in a bigoted DYSTOPIA. Gonna have some RYES tonight to celebrate this damned puzzle (Piña COLADAs aren't really my thing). Once again, hurray for this puzzle. My CLAP-O-METER is at 11.

Bullets:

• 12D: Dated (OLD) — had this as SAW for a second, then noticed that that gave me QUS URA and ENW in the crosses. Very helpful when *every* cross is a fail. No chance you're gonna mistake your dumb answer for the correct one.
• 46D: Southernmost country in Central America (PANAMA) — shall I tell you about my brain's insistence that, and I quote, "there are no Central American countries that start with 'P'!" To be fair(ish), I was actually looking at an answer that started "PL-" because at that point I assumed that MUSC- was MUSCLE (it's MUSCAT) (48A: Capital of Oman).

• 52D: Thin woodwind (OBOE) — brain: "FIFE!" I mean, he's not wrong, but as with SAW (above), those letters just didn't check out.

That's all for today. Hope it's a joyful day for you. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd]
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