Need for a greedy Swede? / WED 9-30-26 / God whose name has one "I," fittingly / Best and most awesome, in slang / Trig function that can output every real number / Movie with the record for the longest time between its release and the release of its sequel (63 years) / Isle that's the traditional burial site of Scottish kings / "___ Troyens" (five-hour French opera)

Constructor: Joel Woodford

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: sounds like it! — Theme clues are words ending in "-et" that must be read as two words (___ it!") in order for them to make sense: 

Theme answers:

• EXAM PAPER (17A: Market!) (mark it!)
• CHECK BOX (24A: Ticket!) (tick it!)
• SURPRISE PARTY (34A: Planet!) (plan it!)
• SUITCASE (47A: Packet!) (pack it!)
• FRONT DOOR (55A: Locket!) (lock it!)

Word of the Day: LES Troyens (22D: "___ Troyens" (five-hour French opera)) —

Les Troyens (pronounced [le tʁwajɛ̃]; in English: The Trojans) is a French grand opera in five acts, running for about five hours, by Hector Berlioz. The libretto was written by Berlioz himself from Virgil's epic poem the Aeneid; the score was composed between 1856 and 1858. Les Troyens is Berlioz's most ambitious work, the summation of his entire artistic career, but he did not live to see it performed in its entirety. Under the title Les Troyens à Carthage, the last three acts were premièred with many cuts by Léon Carvalho's company, the Théâtre Lyrique, at their theatre (now the Théâtre de la Ville) on the Place du Châtelet in Paris on 4 November 1863, with 21 repeat performances. The reduced versions run for about three hours. After decades of neglect, today the opera is considered by some music critics as one of the finest ever written.

• • •

The answers are arbitrary and a little dull, but the theme concept is clever and the fill (despite some weak spots) holds up pretty well. There's something slightly meta about this theme: you take a common cluing conceit—the [___ it!] variety of clue, where the answer is whatever the "it" might literally represent (i.e. [Watch it!] might be MOVIE, [Beat it!] might be EGG, etc.)—but here you hide that clue inside one-word homophones. So you have to mentally unpack the clues to get to the [___ it!] version, and then you're good. It's not a tough theme, but it's got ... something, As I say, the answers are a little arbitrary. You can "plan" lots of things, just as you can "lock" lots of things—SURPRISE PARTY and FRONT DOOR just happen to fit symmetrically in the grid with the other answers. But that's the nature of the [___ it!]-type clue. [Step on it!] might be STAIR ... or FLOOR ... or SCALE ... there are usually many potential answers and you often have to work crosses to find out which. 

The theme answers end up a little lifeless today—SURPRISE PARTY makes a nice marquee answer, but the others just kind of lie there. So it's a good thing the fill has some pep. A whole troop of PEP BANDs in fact (36D: Musical promoters of school spirit) (wanted PEP SQUAD!). PANACHE has more PANACHE than most of the themers combined. I also enjoyed the KICK-BUTT SPARKLERS in the NE (though I could do without BUTT and ASS in the same grid—cluing it as a donkey isn't fooling anyone, mister! (53D: Burro). The fill definitely gets creaky in places: SSE, EKE, OPIE, XES, ETAS, OLEO, EENY—what is it with this EENY/EENIE obsession the NYTXW has. I mean, I know, it's the common letters, but oof, "counting rhyme" part is among the lowest forms of fill. And you notice you never see MEENY. Or MINY. Just EENY/EENIE. I don't really want to see any "counting rhyme" parts, but ... Justice for MINY! Let him come off the bench sometimes! He'd at least bring some novelty to the whole "counting rhyme" scenario. He's only ever gotten in the game once, and that was fifty years ago (Oct. 26, 1976). (So, for the record, that's one MINY, four MEENYs, and ... 210 EENY/EENIEs! And counting. And counting. And ...

There wasn't much today in the way of resistance or challenge. I think BAMBI was the hardest thing in the grid for me, largely because I had no idea there'd been a sequel (?!?!?!) (4D: Movie with the record for the longest time between its release and the release of its sequel (63 years)). Waaaaait a minute. Direct-to-video!? You can't count that. Booooo! A 2006 film that premiered in Argentina (!?!?!) before being released as a direct-to-video title in the States!? Boo to this "record." You should have to release it like a real movie and people should have to actually see it for it to count, esp. if you want to use it as a bit of trivia for your crossword clue. In case you were wondering, the sequel went through several titles (??) before producers finally alit on the highly imaginative ..

No "records" for you, BAMBI II. Pinocchio may have finally been transformed into a real boy, but you're not a real movie. Back to the IP forest with you!

Bullets:

• 9D: Feature (ASPECT) — another oddly difficult answer for me today. "Feature" can mean so many things, and it can be both noun and verb, so I needed almost every cross. Sadly, one of those crosses was CLERK, which also had a clue so vague I had no idea (21A: Administrative role). Real "watching paint dry" difficulty here.
• 51A: Need for a greedy Swede? (KRONA) — I see you're doing a little rhyme thing here, but the clue makes no sense. If the Swede is being "greedy," then by definition there is no question of "need." Just want.
• 53A: Nail a test (ACE IT) — the one moment of the solve where I winced—all of your theme clues involve [___ it!] phrases; there shouldn't be stray ones in the grid. Distracting. Inelegant. 
• 40A: Best and most awesome, in slang (ILLEST) — Hip-hop or rap slang, specifically. Context would be nice.

["We the ILLEST / Need a nurse / Here's the check / Grab your purse"][Warning: profanity by the truckload]

• 29D: God whose name has one "I," fittingly (ODIN) — ah we're doing more puns, I see, cool cool. (ODIN is a one-eyed god—he sacrificed the other for wisdom)

That's all for today. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Courier and Century Gothic, for two / TUES 9-29-26 / Greek goddess of the earth / Where some monster home runs land / Muslim holiday, informally

Hello, everyone, it’s Clare for the last Tuesday of September! Hope you’ve all had a wonderful month. I’ve been loving the turn toward fall weather for the most part, except for the day I went to All Things Go (a music festival) in the DMV this past weekend, and it… rained most of the day, and I was exceptionally cold. But my love for MUNA (and the other singers, of course) trumps all! I also got a ton of sports-watching in this weekend with the WNBA playoffs starting and football and golf and F1 (which I’ve become mildly obsessed with). The big news is that my sister now has a puppy, too! She’s absolutely, incredibly, completely adorable (if slightly evil at times because she’s a pup who just wants to nibble). Her name is Gunner (of Arsenal Gunners fame), and I’m obsessed. Keep reading to see as many pictures as I can reasonably add:)

Anywho, on to the puzzle...

Constructor: Hanh Huynh

Relative difficulty: On the harder side of medium

THEME: JOIN HANDS (58A: Wedding officiant's directive ... or what both halves of 17-, 25-, 35- and 50-Across do?) — Each half of the theme answers can be combined with “hand” to form a common expression

Theme answers:

• UPPER DECK (17A: Where some monster home runs land) 
• HOT MINUTE (25A: Pretty long time, in an idiom) 
• SECOND HELPING (35A: Another plateful from the buffet, say) 
• LEFT FIELD (50A: Position of Rickey Henderson in M.L.B.)

Word of the Day: KAREN (55A: Indie rock singer ___ O) —

Karen Lee Orzolek (born November 22, 1978), known professionally as Karen O, is an American singer and songwriter. Known for her dynamic performances and distinctive vocals, she was a key figure in the 2000s garage rock and post-punk revivals, and in the New York music scene. She is also regarded as a style icon. Karen O is the lead vocalist of the band Yeah Yeah Yeahs, who have released five albums and hit singles like "Maps", "Gold Lion", and "Heads Will Roll"... Her accolades include nominations for eight Grammy Awards, an Academy Award, two Critics' Choice Awards, and a Golden Globe Award. Rolling Stone named her one of the "200 Greatest Singers of All Time" in 2023. (Wiki)

• • •

That felt like a decent, if slightly boring, Tuesday theme. I get how each of the theme answers could form expressions such as “upper hand,” “deck hand,” “hot hand,” etc. We’ve just seen this type of theme a thousand and one times before, so it’s lost its novelty for me. I’d say my favorite answer was HOT MINUTE (25A), and SECOND HELPING (35A) was a nice long answer. 

I liked ELTON (9A: British John) crossing LOO (10D: British john) and KAREN (55A) of rock music fame crossing GREEN DAY (39D: Band with the 6x platinum album "American Idiot") of pop/punk fame. There seemed to be slightly more “?” clues than average. My favorite clue/answer in this puzzle was definitely CAB (24D: What can travel a fare distance?). 

But for all of the fun clues, things such as SMALLER (22D: Like subcompacts vis-à-vis compacts) and NEATENED (38D: Made nice?) felt bland. And SEEDED (4D: Numbered in a tournament bracket), especially in a puzzle with NEEDED (13D: Had to have), seemed like too much of a push for easy letters. EXEC (41A: Board appointee, for short) crossing EXED (37D: Crossed (out)) also felt too similar.  

ONSITE (12D: Like not-work-from-home days) doesn’t feel like quite the way to describe work that’s not from home. HARD (25D) is a boring way to clue brain-busting. With GAEA (49A: Greek goddess of the earth), I’ve heard (and spelled) it both ways.

Psych Shawn GIFfrom Psych GIFs

The spelling didn’t slow me down too much, but I put in “Gaia” at first. I also think ON THE DL (26D: Just between us) could’ve been clued more obviously to show that it was slang. Also, seeing DEEJAY (48D: Spinner of tunes) written out like that is also just weird. 

On the other hand, I liked OLD DOG (44D: Subject of a saying about new tricks), and my dog RED (18D) was also in the puzzle! That’s obviously what the constructor intended, even if he clued it as "visibly embarrassed.” I also enjoyed OPPOSITE (3D: Like black and white), and I liked seeing SANAA (29A: Capital of Yemen), which I haven’t seen in a puzzle in a bit. I wasn’t expecting to see GYRATE (49D: Move like Shakira in her "Hips Don't Lie" video) in the puzzle, but it certainly describes how Shakira moves her hips! ENNUI (9D: Ho-hum feeling) is simply a wonderful word.

Misc.:

• I was actually *this* close to seeing KAREN O (55D) live! I went to the inaugural Daisy Chain Festival (put on and headlined by Olivia Rodrigo) in Irvine, California, a few weeks ago, and it was absolutely wonderful (albeit way too hot — see: 95 degrees). The festival was led by women, and Olivia brought out a few different special guests. I saw Sarah McLachlan sing “Angel,” dedicated to Dolly Parton, and sang along with Stevie Nicks to “Landslide.” KAREN O was supposed to join (presumably to sing “Heads Will Roll” by her band, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs) but couldn't make it at the last minute. So I had to “settle” for seeing Alanis Morissette sing “Ironic,” instead. 
• I simply think we don’t need to have DRE (53A: Dad on "Black-ish") in puzzles referring to the character played by Anthony Anderson, who has a whole section in Wikipedia about his “Rape and sexual assault allegations.” 
• The puzzle was clairvoyant, with GAS (43D: Pit stop refill), given my newfound love for F1 and all things Oscar Piastri. I still know very few technical terms and miss loads of nuances, and the races can be very boring, but it’s still rather fun. And did I mention how adorable and talented and incredible Oscar Piastri is? 
• Also! The wonderful (albeit slightly evil at times, said in a loving way) Max Verstappen also recently took on 100 racers in a Red Bull karting spectacle. He started from the back, and he passed them all within 35 minutes (he passed two-thirds of them in the first 30 seconds; it was hilarious). It was also wildly entertaining with the live radios. Here’s a link to highlights for all.
• I stared at NOONE (16A: Who "wants to be defeated" in "Beat It") for the longest time before realizing it was actually two words NO ONE.
• I miss the good old days in middle school where you could give someone a candy heart that says "I LUV U" (33A: (candy heart message) to tell them you had a crush on them.
• I actually haven’t been reading that much lately, but I have a TV recommendation for absolutely everyone: You must watch “Widow’s Bay” (if you haven’t already). It recently swept at the Emmys, and it’s absolutely brilliant. I made a cocktail from the show for an Emmys watch party, and then the actor who won for best supporting actress shouted out the cocktail in her speech. I felt seen.

Alright, if you’re still with me, here’s my sister’s amazing puppy, Gunner:

And that's all from me! Have a great (and hopefully not too cold) October.

Signed, Clare Carroll, who's always RED-HAND(ed)

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The Scales, zodiacally / MON 9-28-26 / Store, as ashes / ___ Guofeng, successor of Mao Zedong / Tropical tree whose product is sometimes used as a meat substitute / Coconut Girl Scout cookies / City NE of Oklahoma City

Constructor: Helen Chen

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging (solved Downs-only)

[67A: Kylo ___ of "Star Wars"]

THEME: LEAD-OFF / HOME RUN (38A: With 41-Across, ball hit out of the park by the very first batter for either side ... or a hint to the starts of 18-, 27-, 46- and 60-Across) — theme answers are phrases that start with a word that is baseball slang for a "home run":

Theme answers:

• BOMBSHELL (18A: Complete shocker)
• TATER TOTS (27A: Alternative to French fries)
• BLAST ZONE (46A: Detonation region)
• JACKFRUIT (60A: Tropical tree whose product is sometimes used as a meat substitute)

Word of the Day: HUA Guofeng (41D: ___ Guofeng, successor of Mao Zedong) —

Hua Guofeng (born Su Zhu (苏铸); 16 February 1921 – 20 August 2008; also spelled as Hua Kuo-feng) was a Chinese politician who served as chairman of the Chinese Communist Party and the premier of China. As the successor of Mao Zedong, Hua held the top offices of the government, party, and the military after the deaths of Mao and Premier Zhou Enlai, but was gradually forced out of power between December 1978 and June 1981, and subsequently retreated from the political limelight, though still remaining a member of the Central Committee until 2002. [...] While Hua ended the Cultural Revolution's most notorious policies, such as the constant ideological campaigns, he remained generally committed to a command economy and the continuation of the Maoist line. Between December 1978 and June 1981, Deng Xiaoping and his supporters forced Hua from his position of paramount leader but allowed him to retain some titles. Hua gradually faded into political obscurity, but continued to insist on the correctness of Maoist principles. (wikipedia)

• • •

Nearly had a Downs-only DNF today. The whole central-southern part of the grid—from the FRUIT part of JACKFRUIT over to ZENITH—was mostly empty for what felt like a good while there at the end. Things started to go south with HUA, a name I don't remember ever seeing. Every letter of that was a mystery to me. Trying to move down from there, I guessed BOX SET, but neither ALL TIED nor TRAGIC (47D: Like the fate of Ophelia) nor ZENITH (48D: Peak) were at all clear to me. All these Down fails left BLAST hard for me to infer despite the fact that by that point I was fully aware of the theme and how it worked. In addition to my total ignorance of HUA, there were two other major problems for me today. The first was that, when presented with JACK F---T, I just assumed the answer would be JACK FROST. The second problem was that I couldn't find any connection between BANANA and the letter pattern I was getting at 50D: See 37-Across (37-Across being BANANA). BANANA ... BREAD? BANANA ... SPLIT? I just assumed I was dealing with a two-part phrase. I had BANANA --R--, and ... no idea. As of this very second, I still haven't looked at the clue for 37-Across, so ... let's do that now, SHALL we? 37A: "Time flies like an [50-Down]; fruit flies like a ___" (BANANA). Jeez louise, no wonder I couldn't intuit the connection between BANANA and ARROW. That's the most tenuous connection I've ever seen! Unintuitable, I say! Eventually, I realized JACK F[ROS]T could also be JACKFRUIT, which allowed me to see BLOUSE (46D: Top to accompany a skirt). Somehow I was also able to come up with ALL TIED, and from there, I got BLAST ZONE, which took care of my TRAGIC ZENITH problems. The end. After a considerable amount of stumbling around, finally, The End.

The theme here is perfect for a Monday, and it's timely as well, given that the regular season of Major League Baseball ended just yesterday. Congrats to the Phillies and the Astros, who clinched the final playoff spots on the last day of the season. Playoffs start tomorrow. Baseball has lots of words for "home run," and these are four of them, and they all "lead off" their respective answers, so ... yeah, what more do you want? Besides good fill, I mean. I could've used more of that. The theme is very dense, which means there's not a lot of room for any other snazzy entries; in fact, nothing at all over seven letters long (and only two of those). The short fill gets pretty icky in places, most notably at INURN (100% pure crosswordese) (33D: Store, as ashes) and URE, an answer so bad I thought for sure I had an error over there in the west (35A: Suffix with fail or forfeit). I thought, "No way they let Midge URE into a Monday puzzle. That's crazy." And in fact, they did not let Midge URE into a Monday puzzle. Worse—they let in an ugly suffix. Who is Midge URE, you ask? Aside from co-writing and producing "Do They Know It's Christmas?," he was, among other things, the leader of the band Ultravox from 1979-1987. Look, I told you he wasn't a Monday answer. But now you are armed against his eventual appearance on some future Saturday. Other UREs (according to former NYTXW clues) include a Yorkshire river, a chemistry pioneer Andrew, and an actress Mary (Academy Award-nominated for Sons and Lovers (1960)). Go back far enough, and you'll get [Old Orkney land unit] (1973), [Mist, in Scotland] (1972), and [Ounce in Shetland] (1948). I doubt you'll be seeing any of those ever again. 

Bullets:

• 17A: Solid baseball hit (LINER) — with baseball as the main theme idea, it's maybe better to go a different direction here. See also the clue for ALL TIED (43D: Like the score going into extra innings). Or else, really lean into it—change the TEAMS clue from N.H.L. to MLB, for instance (29D: The N.H.L. has 32). There's another baseball clue opportunity at GIANT*, and, if you really want it, BANANA:

• 66A: Helper for computer problems, informally (I.T. GUY) — had the -GUY part and all I could think of was:

• 9D: The Scales, zodiacally (LIBRA) — we are currently in the LIBRA BLAST ZONE (Sep. 23-Oct. 23). Also, "zodiacally," top-tier adverb invention, thumbs up.

That's all for today. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld 

*Whoops, looks like GIANT actually did get a baseball ⚾️ clue (63A: San Francisco ballplayer) and I just didn’t notice, sorry

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Shaders of gray? / SUN 9-27-26 / Sonic euphoria, colloquially / Disk-flipping strategy game / Greek PPP / Turned into an internet gag / German brewery since 1873 / Redheaded "Queen of Country" / DeVore who co-founded one of the first U.S. agencies for nonwhite models in 1946 / Portmanteau sandwich cookie with a layer of marshmallow / Cultural group of SW Britain / Buck enshrined in Cooperstown / Far from the target, in a guessing game

Constructor: Adam Wagner

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: "The Full 12 Rounds" — twelve-letter answers that go 'round (or LOOP BACK) (85A: Return to an earlier topic of conversation ... or what six answers in this puzzle literally do), thus mimicking the CORIOLIS Effect (49A: Kind of effect that deflects motion in one direction in the Northern Hemisphere and the opposite in the Southern Hemisphere [with a hint to this puzzle's shaded squares]) (i.e. the answers go clockwise in the northern hemisphere, counterclockwise in the south) 

Theme answers:

• TRADE DISPUTE (19A: ... in global commerce)(Conflict ...)
• PORT-A-POTTIES (28A: ... outdoor festivals)(Bathrooms at ...)
• PERSONAL LIMO (66A: ... transport)(Bigwig's ...)
• ONE-CAR GARAGE (73A: ... park an auto)(Narrow space in which to ...)
• INTERPRETIVE (112A: ... clarify or explain)(Seeking to ...)
• IN RETROSPECT (124A: ... of hindsight)(With the benefit ...)

Word of the Day: OPHELIA DeVore (21A: DeVore who co-founded one of the first U.S. agencies for nonwhite models in 1946) —

Ophelia DeVore (August 12, 1921 – February 28, 2014) was an American businesswoman, publisher, and model. She was the first model of African-American descent in the United States. In 1946, she helped establish the Grace Del Marco Agency, one of the first modeling agencies in America. [...] Ophelia DeVore began modeling at the age of 16. As a fair-skinned person of African-American descent, DeVore could "pass" for Norwegian and gain contracts throughout Europe. In 1946, determined to create a new market for non-White women in the U.S., DeVore established The Grace Del Marco Agency. // In the agency's early days, it was a stepping stone for countless household names; Diahann Carroll, Helen Williams, Richard Roundtree, Cicely Tyson and others. Racism was rampant in New York's fashion business and the Grace Del Marco Agency was one of the few places non-White models could gain work. (Wikipedia)

• • •

There are two things I like about this theme. First, the cluing conceit is clever—looping the clues like that, very nice. Second, I like the first revealer, CORIOLIS. Would've been better if the whole phrase, CORIOLIS EFFECT, were in there, but this is still good, and the fact that the themers loop in different directions depending on what "hemisphere" of the puzzle they're in gives the puzzle a much-needed purpose. Simply "looping" isn't much of an idea, which is one of the reasons I don't think much of the second revealer: LOOP BACK—the other reason is that it's entirely unnecessary. We can see that the theme answers LOOP BACK. The arrows around those answers give that away. Thus LOOP BACK "reveals" nothing. It just takes up space. Whereas CORIOLIS points out a feature I would not have noticed otherwise (i.e. it reveals something). Anyway, two nice features. 

Beyond that, though, I didn't enjoy much about this puzzle. It's yet another puzzle where the theme is almost entirely architectural. Answers go round, answers go round, answers go round. What those answers are, who cares? Irrelevant. It's only the going round that matters. There's no great aha with any of them. All six themers are pretty pedestrian. I guess we're supposed to be impressed that the Across segments of theme answers that aren't parts of longer answers are themselves viable answers—TRADE DISPUTE, for instance, gives us TETRAD (a real word) over UPSIDE (a real word). I suppose this adds a level of difficulty to the construction, but it doesn't add anything to the solving pleasure. Am I really supposed to delight in stuff like E-SPORT and MOPERS and RAGE ON (whatever that is) and SORTER (?!). Mainly I found the themers a joyless chore; you hack through them with a lot of short crosses and there's your answer, ta da. Not that interesting. 

And speaking of filling in short answers, wow did I have to do that a lot. A Lot. It's an astonishingly choppy grid, with nothing over eight letters outside the theme, and only two of those (SPLENDID, "ARE YOU IN?"). You've got banks of 7s in the NE and SW, but otherwise it's a sea of 3-4-5s. It got dreary after a while. And once again the fill was poor enough early on that I took a snapshot to document the moment it became alarming:

Few things are more crosswordesey than BRAES. And that came on top of MAHER (ugh), ORE CAR, THE WEB, TEPEE, ADE. I like MAD DASH and love Pam GRIER, but most of the short stuff ran from merely tolerable to regrettable. I'm probably never going be an enjoyer of purely architectural themes. The fill just ends up seeming like an afterthought, as opposed to the primary part of the solving experience.

Bullets:

• 116A: Disk-flipping strategy game (REVERSI) — I know this only from crosswords. And I don't know it perfectly—the first thing I wrote in was REVERSO. Othello is the modern variation of this game.

• 123A: Many a John Williams composition (THEME) — nearly counted this as a Star Wars reference, since the most famous of said THEMEs is most certainly the Star Wars theme, but Williams has written many, many movie themes, so ... judges say ... not a Star Wars reference!

• 3D: Unhelpful way to respond to "Hello?" ("IT'S ME") — Weird. "IT'S ME" might be very helpful, if the person you're responding to knows your voice very well. I can absolutely imagine saying it if my wife was not expecting me home and said "Hello?" from, like, the kitchen or upstairs. 
• 31D: Clothing brand named for perceived generational differences in the '60s (GAP)  — I had no idea. I did know that (The) GAP was founded in 1969, because ... so was I.

• 50D: Greek PPP (RHOS) — yesterday we got [H H H] as a clue for ETAS. That one always confuses a few people. Today, with "Greek" in the clue, the fact that we're dealing with Greek letters is much clearer.
• 52D: Chef Nosrat who wrote the best seller "Salt Fat Acid Heat" (SAMIN) — I know her book, and the show based on the book, and I've seen her on TV in many different contexts, and I still forgot her dang name. Really happy I knew that final "S" in CORIOLIS ...

• 74D: Portmanteau sandwich cookie with a layer of marshmallow (S'MOREO) — oh come on. What the hell is this? It sounds hellish. Or at the very least, unnecessary. Just eat a s'more or an Oreo, for god's sake. Speaking of hellish: "Banana Pudding" Oreos. Oreo is currently testing three potential new flavors, and while "Deep Fried" and "Chicken & Waffles" were good and weird-but-acceptable, respectively, "Banana Pudding" needs to be sent back to the pit of hell whence it came. Toxic levels of artificial banana flavor. I thought maybe it was just me, but then Penelope took all three of the test flavors into her grad students, and they were unanimous in their dead-last ranking of "Banana Pudding."

[1. Deep Fried; 2. Chicken & Waffles; 3. (disqualified on account of disgustingness) Banana Pudding]

• 86D: Fish hawk (OSPREY) — they're migratory. I just learned this. "American and Canadian breeders winter in South America" (wikipedia). For two weeks in late August / early September, there was one that hung out on a tree high above the Chenango River, and I'd see it nearly every day on my walk. I even saw it hunt a couple times (water go smash! so cool). Then it wasn't there any more. Then I learned they're migratory, so I probably won't see little fish-hunting buddy again. It was fun while it lasted.

• 97D: Astronomically demoted, as per a 2006 Word of the Year (PLUTOED) — I think it just means "demoted" now. Yes: pluto (v.) "to demote or devalue something." I mean, how often are things "astronomically" demoted. You can't use your Word of the Year very much if you just limit it to astronomy.
• 92D: Shaders of gray? (AGEISTS) — woof, this clue. "Shaders"??? As in "those who throw shade"??? Describing ageism as mere shade (i.e. disparagement) ... pretty flippant way of describing systemic discrimination. Also, the pun here Tortured.

That's all for today. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. Happy anniversary, honey ❤️❤️❤️ What're we drinking? What goes with "23"?

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd]
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Riding free as an employee, in airline lingo / SAT 9-26-26 / Prepares, as shumai / A bit corrupt, perhaps? / Signature QB move included as a feature in 2012's Madden NFL 13 video game / Early giant in punch-card tabulating systems / Desserts that may feature frangipane / Broadcaster with a onetime coat-of-arms logo, informally / Actress Price of the 2000s sitcom "Grounded for Life" / Evergreen whose cones bear edible seeds

Constructor: Brian Callahan

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: none 

Word of the Day: shumai (1A: Prepares, as shumai = STEAMS) —

Shumai (simplified Chinese: 烧卖; traditional Chinese: 燒賣; pinyin: shāomài; Cantonese Yale: sīu-máai; Pe̍h-ōe-jī: sio-māi; Wugniu: sau¹ ma⁶) is a type of traditional Chinese dumpling meat made of ground pork. In Cantonese cuisine, it is usually served as a dim sum snack, and is served with an additional serving of soy sauce. In addition to accompanying the Chinese diaspora, variations of shumai can be found in Japan, Southeast Asia, and South America. Variations include the Hawaiian pork hash and the Indonesian siomay. In Australia, it developed into dim sim. (wikipedia)

• • •

Not often that I get even one answer that has a direct connection to Binghamton, NY (where I live), and today I got two. One of IBM's four predecessor companies was the Bundy Manufacturing Company, "the first time-recording company in the world to produce time clocks" (wikipedia), which was headquartered in Binghamton, NY (28A: Early giant in punch-card tabulating systems). That company eventually merged with three others and moved down the street to Endicott, NY, where IBM maintained a research lab and offices until they began to pull out in the '90s (they only just ended their lease in Endicott three years ago, despite having no presence here to speak of for a quarter century). The business school at Binghamton University is named after Thomas J. Watson, the chairman and CEO of IBM who oversaw its rise to a global concern in the first half of the 20th century. Here's some more fun facts about Thomas J. Watson:

Watson authorized providing Nazi Germany with data processing solutions and involved IBM in cooperation throughout the 1930s and until the end of World War II, profiting from both the German and American war efforts. A leading self-made industrialist, he was one of the richest men of his time when he died in 1956. (wikipedia)

Amoral profiteering and the punch clock! A real testament to the healing balm of capitalism. So next time you think of the dehumanizing effects of modern industrialization on the labor force, think Binghamton! The other connection this puzzle has to Binghamton is more tenuous, but I was there for it, front and center—and that is, the TEBOWING of the Binghamton Rumble Ponies (the Mets AA affiliate). In his home debut, he hit a home run on the First Pitch He Saw. I know because I was standing about 30 feet away from him when he did it:

["Are you kidding me!? ... There's no way that just happened!"—that's me]

Having witnessed that "historic" moment did not help me at all with TEBOWING, though (30D: Signature QB move included as a feature in 2012's Madden NFL 13 video game) … or not much. I mean, at least I knew the guy's name, so that helped. But I don't really know what TEBOWING is, and the idea that I'd know what was happening in Madden fourteen years ago is hilarious. Oh, no wait, I looked it up and I absolutely know what TEBOWING is, or knew. I just forgot. It's his little one-kneed "thinker" / prayer pose. It became a meme. A fad. It had its moment. That moment is gone, along with Tebow's professional sports career.

"Tebowing" is a neologism for the act of kneeling on one knee in prayer specifically with one's head bowed and an arm resting on the one bent knee, a form of genuflecting. It is derived from Tebow's propensity for kneeling and praying. The origin of the phrase is credited to fan Jared Kleinstein, who posted a picture with friends on Facebook, in which they mimicked a pose of Tebow following the Broncos' comeback overtime victory over the Dolphins on October 23, 2011. The popularity of the picture led Kleinstein to set up a website showing pictures submitted by people depicting various interpretations of "Tebowing" all over the world. After two-and-a-half months, the site received 20,000 photograph submissions and 20 million page views from 2 million unique visitors. The New York Times wrote "it can be hard to tell whether [people Tebowing] are celebrating or mocking [Tebow] for his virtuous ways." (wikipedia)

The non-Binghamton parts of this puzzle were ... fine. The middle felt kind of flat to me. It's always impressive when constructors are able to cross so many long answers like that at the center of the grid, but TEEHEEHEE crossing HAHAS really put a damper on things, and TRADE DEAL and PEAR TARTS are just a lot of common letters. I think the most interesting thing in that heap of answers is SIDE BANGS (26A: Part of an asymmetrical hairstyle). The worst, of course, is WEBISODES, a portman-no if I've ever saw one (surpassed in its ugliness only by its cousin, WEBINARS) (35A: Online show pieces). The puzzle is solid enough, just not very exciting. Since I don't really care about Madden or Survivor and don't know much "airline lingo" and am not really the target audience for STEM-based puns (32D: A bit corrupt, perhaps? = DATA ROT), this puzzle mostly just wasn't for me. I can see it's sturdily made, but solving it was something of a shrug.

Really uneven difficulty today, with the NW filling itself in pretty quickly (the opposite of yesterday), but the center being hard for me to get at. I basically had to circle the middle, coming at it from three corners, before it started to fall. First break was guessing TEE HEE HEE off the last HEE, then taking that "T" down with TRAIN, then over with TALON, then down to the far SW corner with ... TIKIS (37D: Highly prized rewards on "Survivor" = TARPS) (it's been ages since I watched Survivor, a show I associate with opening the floodgates of reality TV, which has generally, by and large, with few exceptions, been a scourge on American society). 

Between not knowing TARPS and having AVER for AVOW (kealoa!), (40A: Assert) and having both WAVE TO and WAVE AT before WAVE HI (yuck), that corner was probably the hardest of the corners, but the other corners were pretty easy, so it all evened out.

Bullets:

• 31A: Desserts that may feature frangipane (PEAR TARTS) — I know "frangipane" had something to do with almonds, but that did not help me get to PEAR ...
• 5D: Actress Price of the 2000s sitcom "Grounded for Life" (MEGYN) — "2000s" = 2001-2005. I have zero memory of this show's existence, and wouldn't have known this name anyway (she has gone on to roles in more recent shows that I also didn't watch: Rules of Engagement (2007-13), The Ranch (2016-20)).

[I do recognize some of these actors, including Kevin Corrigan, who is perfect in the perfect movie Walking & Talking (1996)]

• 14D: Critical response concerning a piece of fiction? ("YOU LIED TO ME") — I know you need "Critical" for your little "fiction" misdirection, but "YOU LIED TO ME" is just a "response concerning a piece of fiction," a statement of fact. Nothing inherently "critical" about it ... though I guess it is hard to imagine someone saying "YOU LIED TO ME" in an approving fashion.
• 36D: Pudding typically served with "neeps and tatties" (HAGGIS) — that's parsnips and potatoes. I think. Hang on ... nope, turnips and potatoes (specifically mashed potatoes). I studied in Scotland for a semester and the only HAGGIS I had was from a takeaway shop (not ... good).

That's all for today. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. Thanks to everyone for the "happy 20th anniversary" wishes in the comments yesterday. Very sweet of you to take the time.  

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd]
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