Not on the up and up, slangily / TUE 12-23-25 / Top execs, colloquially / With all judges present / Former N.B.A. star Shawn with the nickname "Reign Man" / Brownish-yellow fabric / Short version of an impactful story / Character played by Bruce Lee on "The Green Hornet"

Constructor: Nathan Hale

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: C-SUITE (47D: Top execs, colloquially ... or what 20-, 28-, 39- and 59-Across are, phonetically?) — two-word "sweets" where both words start with "C":

Theme answers:

• CHOCOLATE COIN (20A: Classic Hanukkah treat)
• CUPCAKE (28A: Classic classroom party treat)
• CANDY CORN (39A: Classic Halloween treat)
• CHRISTMAS COOKIE (59A: Classic Yuletide treat)

Word of the Day: Shawn KEMP (23D: Former N.B.A. star Shawn with the nickname "Reign Man") —

Shawn Travis Kemp Sr. (born November 26, 1969) is an American former professional basketball player who played for the Seattle SuperSonics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Portland Trail Blazers, and Orlando Magic in the National Basketball Association (NBA). Nicknamed "Reign Man", he was a six-time NBA All-Star and a three-time All-NBA Second Team member. Kemp is widely regarded as one of the best slam dunkers of all time and made the 1996 NBA Finals with the SuperSonics.

Kemp was a member of the United States national team at the 1994 FIBA World Championship where he won gold and was named to the All-Tournament team. He was part of a famous Pick And Roll duo with All-Star Teammate Gary Payton and is often associated with Payton. (wikipedia)

• • •

This puzzle is very well made. I just found it dull. The themer set is dull. Somehow those "sweets" are just putting me to sleep this morning. The revealer is clever, for sure, but it's also one of those business-speak phrases that I wouldn't care if I never heard again. So ... structurally, I can see that this puzzle is very sound, but aesthetically, it's just not my thing. Not the theme, anyway. The fill is actually better than average today—with the exception of that upper-middle section, with its always-unwelcome playground retort and its extremely intrusive French legal phrase (7D: With all judges present). I've had to endure BANC many times, but with BANC alone, you at least have a little flexibility. BANC just means "bench" in French, so you could get a little more creative with it. [Fixture in un parc] has been used. [French bench] seems to be a favorite. But EN BANC really locks you in to legalese, and today's clue doesn't even clue you in to the French of it all. But that EN BANC section is the only real weak spot. I guess NCIS/NCO isn't a terribly pleasant way to open, but elsewhere, things get smoother. I actually said "nice" out loud as I finished off the ALL IN FUN / VIGNETTE corner—really good work through there. And most everywhere else is clean. I appreciate that. I just wish I'd found the whole concept more exciting. I did appreciate the puzzle throwing that bonus themer at us, though—I'm not really sure what a CAT CHAIR is (is it sweet?), but I want one for my cats now. Actually, scratch that. They have plenty of chairs. All the chairs in this house are CAT CHAIRs. Hell, every rectangular-shaped surface in the house is a CAT CHAIR. This crossword puzzle was on the counter for all of ten seconds before it became ... CAT CHAIR!

[Ida says "hi"]

At first I thought this puzzle was holiday-themed, but then CANDY CORN came along and made the needle on the record scratch (that's the cliché sound effect that played in my head, at any rate). True, Halloween is a holiday, but not a seasonally appropriate one. And classroom party CUP CAKEs have nothing to do with holidays at all. But holidays aren't important to the way the theme works, and anyway, it's half holiday-themed, so that's something. Not aggressively jolly, but semi-jolly. No real difficulty today. The cluing was part of what made the puzzle feel dull. Really flat and straightforward across the board. You've got that lone "?" clue that's at least trying to liven things up (37D: Big Apple org. that's going to blazes? = FDNY). And I really like the artistic approach to TINE (35D: One of three on the pitchfork in "American Gothic"). See, that gives my brain something to do. It's creative, and highly specific, while still being gettable if you've somehow never seen and therefore can't picture American Gothic. I mean, what other countable thing is likely to be part of a pitchfork? Clues don't have to be hard to be entertaining. I wish more of these clues understood that. 

My only MISHAPs today were SLY before SUS (50D: Not on the up and up, slangily), and ... that's it? I think that's it. I had a weird moment of hesitation writing in the "C" in SCOW, thinking "didn't we just have this word? And wasn't it spelled with a 'K'?" The answers are "no" and "no." We had SKIFF recently. I searched my blog for SKOW and the only thing I discovered was that over the nearly twenty-year life of this blog, I have repeatedly (four times!) made the SKOW-for-SCOW mistake. And talked about it. I assume SKIFF is the word I'm thinking of every time I opt for SKOW. If I were Word Dictator, I would change SCOW to SKOW today. Right now. Actually, a real dictator would be sure to slap his name on it. "SKOW brought to you by Rex Parker." "The Rex Parker Center for SKOW Studies." It would be the greatest center. They're already saying it's the greatest center they've ever seen. Incredible.

Bullets:

• 12D: Short version of an impactful story (VIGNETTE) — love VIGNETTE, but hate this clue, and hate the word "impactful" with the white heat of my entire soul. Whatever you think you're saying, I guarantee you there's another, better word that you could use. Unless you are specifically talking about meteor literally striking earth, no. Merriam-Webster is right that "hating a word doesn't make it less real," but the fact that they decided to say that specifically about "impactful" tells you that the word sucks and you should stop using it. It's ugly jargon. Yes, it's real, people use it,  but we don't have to encourage them. Sometimes descriptivism goes too far. Some "shoulds" and "shouldnts" are good. They give us a society worth living in. Anyway, I don't think "impactful" is even relevant to this clue. Surely there are lots of VIGNETTEs out there that are dull as paste and leave no particular impact at all.
• 30D: Character played by Bruce Lee on "The Green Hornet" (KATO) — nearly spelled it KETO, but that's the diet. Did KATO do KETO? Almost certainly not. Bruce Lee doesn't seem like a fad diet kind of guy. Although ... "Lee avoided baked goods and refined flour, describing them as providing empty calories that did nothing for his body" (wikipedia). But that's a long way from the anti-carb / high-fat extremism of the KETO diet (which started as an epilepsy treatment and then ... drifted).
• 23D: Former N.B.A. star Shawn with the nickname "Reign Man" (KEMP) — the one bit of trivia that might throw people today. I know KEMP well because not only was he a star back when I played close attention to professional sports, but he also shares my birthday. Not just the date—the exact day. I know a number of famous people who share my birthday (Charles Schulz, Tina Turner), but Shawn KEMP is the only famous person I know who was born on precisely the same day. "Reign Man" is a weird nickname. Did the people who named him not see Rain Man? I get it, he rules ("reigns"). And he played in Seattle ("rain rain rain rain"). But still.

Time for 🌲🐈Holiday Pet Pics🐕🌲! Note: PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME ANY MORE PET PICS, I'M ALL FULL UP FOR THIS YEAR, thank you.

Remy paws a paw-print ornament. Adorable high-five, or prelude to destruction? The best thing about cats is who the hell knows, could go either way.

[Thanks, Olivia!]

Oliver says "oh so I'm a jester now? Because I'm short? You think I am funny? Do I amuse you?" You better give him a treat real soon. 

[Thanks, Dennis!]

Milo just wants to be a good boy. "Am I good now? Is it over? When is this over?"

[Thanks, Elissa!]

Here's our first meta-holiday pet pic—Clementine reenacting a cat picture I posted earlier in the month (12/4)

[Thanks for the weirdness, Richard and Karen!]

Here's the 12/4 picture for comparison:

Grady's fine here, thanks. Nope doesn't need anything. These accommodations are perfect. He'll be down for dinner. OK, you can go now.

[Thanks, Joanne!]

Finally, a holiday message from Molly and Tidbit: "What are you lookin' at? You didn't see nothin', move along ... oh, yeah, and like the sign says, Merry Christmas. Now beat it."

[Thanks, Aane and Mary!]

See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd]
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Bootleg booze / WED 3-26-25 / British politico Corbyn / Alternative to a Stella or Sam Adams / Handouts from street preachers / Rave over, metaphorically / Pre-covenant name for a biblical father / Alternative to a Stella or Sam Adams / Fabric that George Costanza said he'd drape himself in if it were socially acceptable / Downward force on earth, informally

Constructor: Nathan Hale

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: COVER ALL THE BASES (40A: Take care of everything ... or a hint to what four squares in this puzzle do) — black squares "cover" all the "bases" on a baseball diamond: 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and home:

Theme answers:

• NOT MY [FIRST] RODEO (19A: "I've done this before")
• HAVING [SECOND] THOUGHTS (25A: Not so sure about a wedding)
• GIVES THE [THIRD] DEGREE (54A: Thoroughly interrogates)
• WRITE [HOME] ABOUT (63A: Rave over, metaphorically)

Word of the Day: SATIVA (3D: Cannabis variety) —

Cannabis sativa is an annual herbaceous flowering plant. The species was first classified by Carl Linnaeus in 1753. The specific epithet sativa means 'cultivated'. Indigenous to Eastern Asia, the plant is now of cosmopolitan distribution due to widespread cultivation. It has been cultivated throughout recorded history and used as a source of industrial fiber, seed oil, food, and medicine. It is also used as a recreational drug and for religious and spiritual purposes. [...] The informal designation sativa and indica may have various, controversial meanings. Morphologically, the name sativa designates tall plants with narrow leaves, while indica refers to short plants with wide leaves. Among the marijuana community however, sativa rather refers to equatorial varieties producing stimulating psychoactive effects, whereas indica-type plants from Central Asia are used for relaxing and sedative drugs (THC:CBD > 1). (wikipedia)

• • •

I feel like you already know what the problem is here. Certainly if you've ever seen a baseball diamond, you know. How in the world do you make this puzzle and *not* put the "bases" in the right place???? Or at least in a "diamond"-type shape? I got the [SECOND] square first, then got the revealer and thought "OK, it's not gonna sit perfectly symmetrically, but that's OK, a rough 'diamond' will do, I guess." But no. I got no diamond. None. Just a squiggly top-to-bottom arrangement of the "bases." It's unfathomable to me that you would bother to do this theme without putting the bases in the right place. Four squares. "Where should I put them? I know... random places!" SMH, what the hell? And on Opening Day, no less. Oh, no, sorry, that's tomorrow, not today—one more thing this "tribute" to baseball gets wrong. I don't mind at all that the "bases" don't work with the Downs, but the non-diamond arrangement is killing me. The concept here is fine—I've thought of it myself, as has virtually any baseball-loving constructor, I guarantee you—but the point is it would be tough to do right because if you don't put those bases in (roughly) baseball-field position (which is a challenge!), your puzzle will look silly—kinda like this puzzle. I love baseball, and I particularly love Opening Day, so this puzzle just makes me sad. Disappointed, really.

So it's a non-starter, in terms of its execution. I do like the way the "bases" are handled, with black squares standing in for (or "covering") missing words in longer phrases, and all the phrases themselves are colorful, particularly NOT MY (1st) RODEO. Aside from the theme, the highlight of the puzzle for me was probably the very end, when I crossed PBR (51A: Alternative to a Stella or Sam Adams) with "BEER ME!" (52D: "I'd like a brewski") to close things out. I've had puzzles end on lowlights far too many times, so it was semi-thrilling to finally do one that went out on top—peak puzzle experience, right at the end. That PBR / "BEER ME!" moment was especially welcome because it followed hard on the heels of the absolute worst moment of the solve—"GOT YA!" The term is "GOTCHA!" You have to strain your mouth hole to say "GOT YA!" Like, you have to try to enunciate, and differentiate the "T" and "Y," because that "T"-to-"Y" shift just comes out "TCH".... which is why we have GOTCHA in the first place! GOT YA, lol, no, what, stop. You coulda just turned the YAMS into TAMS and been done with it. No one blinks, no one balks, no one winces. Some editorial decisions (or non-decisions) are unfathomable to me.

SOAMI remains one of the worst bits of fill on the planet, right up there with its kealoa* counterpart, SODOI (4D: "Likewise"). SLIGHT BIT feels odd to me, as I'd use ONE BIT or THE SLIGHTEST (as in "not in ___") before I'd ever used SLIGHT BIT. "LITTLE" is the adjective that wants to go with "BIT." I never cared for Seinfeld (Julia Louis-Dreyfus was the only one on that show I could stand to look at for very long—I watched every episode of Veep, a far superior show). Since George is such a dip, I figured the "fabric" he would cover himself in was VELCRO (33D: Fabric that George Costanza said he'd drape himself in if it were socially acceptable = VELVET). That's certainly the fabric I would cover him in, if called to do so. 

Bullets:

• 3D: Cannabis variety (SATIVA) — went into a dispensary for the first time in my life earlier this month, in Michigan, a state that screams "WE HAVE LEGAL WEED!" at you the second you cross the border from Ohio. I was with a friend who is far better versed in such matters, far more familiar with the cannabis world. I don't smoke, so I was mostly just a spectator. It was so professional, clean, well organized. The manager could've been the manager of a spa, she was so efficient and friendly. I don't know what I was expecting. Something ... else. Something cornier, honestly. Anyway, I may or may not have left with gummies which I may or may not have tried since and which may or may not have had any effect on me. Can't stand the smell of pot, so I won't be smoking any time soon, but I will admit to being cannabis-curious. Anyway, SATIVA and INDICA are familiar terms to me, as they should be to you by now, if only for xword purposes.
• 69A: Pre-covenant name for a biblical father (ABRAM) — after the covenant: ABRAHAM. I much prefer this clue for ABRAM to the Presidential middle name clue ... I can't even remember whose middle name ABRAM is!!?!? Ah, it's James ABRAM Garfield. Good to remind yourself of these things from time to time.
• 48D: British politico Corbyn (JEREMY) — So weird to me that we get JEREMY Corbyn before we get KEIR Starmer, the actual Primer Minister of the UK, and a guy whose first name (unlike JEREMY) is begging to become crossword-common (RIP, KEIR Dullea, you've done yeoman's work, buddy, but it's time to let someone else take over). Hey, did you know a KIER is a [Large vat for bleaching cloth]? Me neither, probably because the last time it appeared in a crossword was July 12,1992—the fourteenth (!) and final (!!) appearance of KIER. But I have a sneaking suspicion that KIER might be making a comeback very soon ...

[Severance, renewed for a 3rd season, hurrah]

I'm happy to announce (all this week) that a new edition of These Puzzles Fund Abortion is available now (These Puzzles Fund Abortion 5!). Donate to abortion funds, get a collection of 23 top-notch puzzles from some of the best constructors in the business—mostly standard U.S. crossword puzzles, but also some cryptic crosswords, variety puzzles, and even an acrostic. Rachel Fabi and C.L. Rimkus have done such a great job with these collections over the past few years, raising over $300,000 for abortion funds around the country. I support a number of charitable organizations, but hardly any of them give me crosswords in return. So I'm going to give TPFA5 my money today [update: done!], and I hope you do too. Here's the link.

See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

*kealoa = a pair of words (normally short, common answers) that can be clued identically and that share at least one letter in common (in the same position). These are answers you can't just fill in quickly because two or more answers are viable, Even With One or More Letters In Place. From the classic [Mauna ___] KEA/LOA conundrum. See also, e.g. [Heaps] => ATON or ALOT, ["Git!"] => "SHOO" or "SCAT," etc.  

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Prepared to fight Goliath? / WED 1-31-24 / Fine partner? / Rank associated with tea and sandwiches? / Protruding feature on a cliff / Private university of North Carolina

Constructor: Nathan Hale

Relative difficulty: Medium (4:10) (maybe skewing Medium-Challenging, depending on how easily (or not) you grasped the theme concept)

THEME: CROSSED A BEAR (51A: Betrayed Paddington? ... or what 20-, 34- and 41-Across did in this puzzle) — puns that change familiar phrases containing "to" into verb phrases containing "-ED A" (as exemplified by the revealer itself). First three themers all literally CROSS(ED) A BEAR (a pun on "cross to bear"):

Theme answers:

• READIED A ROCK ("ready to rock!") crossing TEDDY (20A: Prepared to fight Goliath? / 6D: Presidential nickname of the early 20th century)
• TIMED A GET-UP  ("time to get up!") crossing SMOKEY (34A: Practiced changing one's costume by the clock? / 29D: Motown legend Robinson)
• BACKED A WORK ("back to work!") crossing BOO-BOO (41A: Invested on Broadway, say? / 24D: Owie) 

Word of the Day: GREGG Popovich (65A: ___ Popovich, longtime coach for the Spurs) —

Gregg Charles Popovich (born January 28, 1949) is an American professional basketball coach and executive who is the president and head coach for the San Antonio Spurs of the National Basketball Association (NBA). Popovich has been a member of the Spurs organization since 1994, as president of basketball operations and general manager before taking over as coach of the Spurs in 1996. Popovich is the longest tenured active coach in the NBA as well as all other major sports leagues in the United States. Nicknamed "Coach Pop", Popovich has the most wins of any coach in NBA history, and is widely regarded as one of the greatest coaches in NBA history. [...] In 1979, Popovich was named the head coach of the Pomona-Pitzer Sagehens, the joint men's basketball team of Pomona College and Pitzer College in Claremont, California. Popovich coached the Pomona-Pitzer men's basketball team from 1979 to 1988, leading the team to its first outright title in 68 years. (wikipedia)

• • •

Well it's ambitious, I'll give it that. It's also a corny mess. It's like you found one kinda funny pun ("cross to bear" / CROSSED A BEAR) and then built a really shaky shack of a house on top of it. None of the other puns come close to the near-funniness of CROSSED A BEAR. I never understood what the themers were doing, or at least not enough for it to be of any help. The non-theme stuff was pretty easy, but there was not a single themer that made any sense to me as I was solving, both because they were super-contrived and because the clues were way too vague to get me there. READIED A ROCK? got the READIED part and then tried to think of some short word for "slingshot." So much torture being inflicted on that pun. And BACKED A WORK? Just ... A WORK? How am I supposed to get to something so stupidly general from something as incredibly specific as "Broadway." A WORK? A WORK could be annnnyyyything. So solving this puzzle was a slog—a never-clicking slog. At the end, there was definitely an aha moment. But that's because, as I say, the revealer works best, of all these dumb puns. Which reminds me: what added to my confusion about the theme was those damn bears, which I didn't know were bears, but which I could see were in gray squares. So confusing to hit themer material in the Acrosses but also have these obviously thematic answers going Down ... which were not clued in any seemingly thematic way (just marked by grayness). I eventually totally forgot about the gray answers, until the revealer made me look again. I do think the revealer pun is good, and that the ambition is admirable. But there was no part of solving this that was pleasurable. The non-theme stuff was forgettable, mostly; the fill skewed SO-SO (e.g. APR, DEE) to sub-SO-SO (e.g. BREA, APIS) (likely because the theme was so dense); and putting together every themer was like pulling teeth. 

Outside of the theme, not much going on. I wish they wouldn't "?" clues for answers that are long and Across when theme answers are long and Across and also feature "?" clues. Very confusing to get to the end and see what looks like yet another themer ... only to have it just be a non-thematic POLYGRAPH. Great answer, but terrible, terrible clue (61A: Something you shouldn't take lying down?). How does the "down" part work here? I get that you shouldn't take it "lying" (because it's a lie detector—hurray, more puns). But what is "down" doing? What's the pun part there? Is the "?" on the clue supposed to mean "hey, just ignore 'down,' it doesn't work, I just can't stop punning"? No real trouble with anything else. GRASP for USURP at first (1A: Seize), and WIG for RUG (58D: Toupee, slangily). Oh, and OTOS for OTOE, which made my thematic adventures even more gunked up (BACKS DA WORK!?!?). OTOS hasn't been seen since 2021, but it has a long history. OTOE is better, but that's not the word my fingers typed in, alas. Managed to guess correctly on the BILLS/BEAKS kealoa* at 31D: Prominent parts of toucans. Managed to actually *use* my recently acquired Word of the Day knowledge to retrieve Chris REDD (who was Word of the Day back on Jan. 11). But that didn't keep me from writing his name as Michael REDD just now (Michael REDD was an NBA All-Star in the Aughts). REDD Foxx has really been put out to pasture, which is too bad. He was a funny (and *dirty*) comedian, and his sitcom still has the greatest TV theme song of all time.

Big month for ELON! (37A: Private university of North Carolina).  Three appearances just this month, two as the University. That's two more appearances than women made as solo constructors on the byline this month. You are reading that right. There was not a single puzzle made by a solo woman constructor in the entire month of January (there were twenty-three (23!) such puzzles by men). Further, counting all co-constructors as a half, there were only three women total. That's an overall "balance" in the month of January of 28 men to 3 women. This (enormous) discrepancy simply isn't happening at other major (and minor) outlets. New Yorker is roughly half and half, by design. Last I checked, USA Today was majority women in January. I'll stop talking about this issue til the end of next month, but this is the worst month for gender imbalance that I can remember. Ever. And I blogged through the very worst years of it (late '00s through mid-'10s). 

I managed to maintain a NYTXW spreadsheet for the whole first month of the year, which means I can easily look back at every theme, every Word of the Day, every ranking (1-100) I assigned to every puzzle (for my eyes only). I can see quickly which day of the week I'm liking most (Friday) and least (Sunday), and what the gender balance is (see above). This makes it easy to compile my Puzzles of the Month (a regular feature from now on, I hope!!). Three exceptional puzzles each month: two themed, one themeless. These are my January 2024 Puzzles of the Month:

Themed:

• Damon Gulczynksi, "Y =X" (Thursday, Jan. 11, 2024)
• Jake Halperin, "BIRDS AND BEES" (Monday, Jan. 22, 2024)

Themeless:

• Hoang-Kim Vu (Saturday, Jan. 13, 2024) (THIS IS POINTLESS, ABOVE MY PAY GRADE, etc.)

See you tomorrow.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld 

P.S. EARL is [Rank associated with tea and sandwiches?] because of EARL Grey tea and the eponymous EARL of Sandwich 

*kealoa = a pair of words (normally short, common answers) that can be clued identically and that share at least one letter in common (in the same position). These are answers you can't just fill in quickly because two or more answers are viable, Even With One or More Letters In Place. From the classic [Mauna ___] KEA/LOA conundrum. See also, e.g. [Heaps] ATON/ALOT, ["Git!"] "SHOO"/"SCAT," etc. 

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