Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle: Clay Haddock

Constructor: Billy Bratton and Clay Haddock

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: none

Word of the Day: TUBI (32D: Free alternative to Netflix) —

Tubi is an American over-the-top content platform and ad-supported streaming service owned by Fox Corporation. The service was launched on April 1, 2014, and is based in Los Angeles, California. In January 2021, Tubi reached 33 million monthly active users. As of January 2023, Tubi has 64 million monthly active users. (wikipedia)

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Friday has turned grim. I don't know what happened to the onetime Best Day Of The Week, but it hasn't even been Best Day Of The Weekend in weeks and weeks. This one lost before I ever got out of the NW, and it never came close to getting me back. Wincingly old-fashioned answers. Phrases that seemed barely real. Plus, the cluing was hard, often for very little or no payoff. Even something potentially good like "YOU DO THAT" has to be clued in just the right way, in order to pick up that specific "I don't actually care *what* you do" tone, and 31A: "Go for it" doesn't cut it. There's not one point in this puzzle where I thought, "lovely." Not one. On a Friday. MAKES no SENSE. This may seem ironic to you, but LOVE TO HATE doesn't track for me at all. I guess I can imagine someone saying those words in that order, but as a standalone phrase, yuck. What does "once-trendy" mean where APPLETINIS are concerned? I feel like people were definitely drinking these in this century, so ... did you mean 2009, or ... what? (54A: Once-trendy green cocktails). Speaking of "once-trendy," or 2009, who still associates Millennials with AVOCADO TOAST? (8D: Stereotypical millennial breakfast item). That generational stereotype is old, just as Millennials are now old, and AVOCADO TOAST is just ... food now, so that answer feels much less timely than it thinks it is. But as I say, the puzzle lost me up top, right away, with Yet Another "sighed" expression that no one actually says. Why does the puzzle persist in thinking that either AH, ME or OH, ME is a thing!? (13A: Sighed aside). It's grating, and doubly grating because you never know what that initial vowel is going to be. And then ... TOPSY???? Who what what? Is this a tertiary character ... in a long long bygone cartoon? Just admit that your fill is bad, clue it as the ultra-familiar [___-turvy], and move along, don't try to foist an obscure cartoon cat on me. [Look how far you have to go down this "List of Tom and Jerry Characters" to find TOPSY ... well below SPIKE AND TYKE (?) and NIBBLES and just above MEATHEAD, what the hell?]

I could not find the cluing wavelength of this puzzle At All. Got stuck way way more than I normally do on a Friday, and as I say, the payoff for the struggle was nowhere near worth it. Thought [Fool] was a verb (1A: Fool => TWIT). No idea what ETON has to do with Rugby. They just ... play it? Huh. OK. [Rugby is apparently another English school that "competes" with ETON ... obviously, I had no idea] Thought POTS was SODS (30A: Supply at a nursery). I had the front ends of lots of longer answers and no idea where to go, including both longer answers up top. Had MUSIC- and ONAG- and ... nope, nothing. Didn't even know the Grammys gave awards for MUSIC VIDEOs. Eventually wanted ON A GOOD RUN at 17A: When things are going well. ON A GOOD DAY is a good phrase, but again the clue doesn't really get at the context very well—you're usually saying ON A GOOD DAY in the context of pointing out how bad something is on a normal day, or how "even ON A GOOD DAY so-and-so couldn't such-and-such." The "addict" in 36A: Addict's plaint made me think drug addict, so that was unpleasant ("I CAN'T STOP"), as was THRONE ROOM, come on, whose cheesy uncle is saying this? (27D: Lavatory, informally). Toilet euphemisms ... just the worst.

The middle of the grid was absolute murder for me, especially 31D: Some branded coolers (YETIS), which I wanted only to be ICEES. It is true, YETI is a brand of cooler (in the sense of "container for keeping food and drink cool") but they make a lot of other stuff too (pretty sure I've got a thermos), and anyway, [Some branded coolers], ugh, the phrasing on that, who wrote that tortured clue? "Branded coolers?" What is that? Besides ugly? And then: American ... ELM??? That's your [American ___]? Then the "texted eyes" at 26D: Texted eyes, maybe somehow weren't an EMOJI (just a COLON). Even PADS / SAD LOT—as clued, I could not get ahold of them (42A: Treads lightly / 37D: They're awfully sorry). Again, if there had been significant reward for the struggle, I would have been happy, as I have been happy in the recent past with brutal themeless puzzles. But this puzzle never delivered. Just a slog all the way to the end. Very much looking forward to tomorrow. Saturday is the new Friday. Or at least I hope so. See you then.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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