A shopper, not a buyer, informally / TUE 9-16-25 / Fashion house named for its founder, Signor Garavani / Miss Havisham's ward in "Great Expectations" / Licorice-flavored spice / Cable inits. for cinephiles / High-status American Express offering / Motion of receding waves

Constructor: Jonathan Daly

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: ALL ABOARD (63A: Train conductor's cry ... or a hint to each word in the answers to the starred clues) — each part of the two-part theme answers is a type of "board" (and can precede "board" in a familiar phrase):

Theme answers:

• BLACK CARD (17A: *High-status American Express offering)
• KEY-CUTTING (25A: *Task for a locksmith)
• BACKWASH (31A: *Motion of receding waves)
• SEA FLOOR (45A: *Bottom of the ocean)
• HEADCHEESE (52A: *Product of meat scraps that, despite its name, is dairy-free)

Word of the Day: TMC (27D: Cable inits. for cinephiles) —

The Movie Channel (often abbreviated as TMC) is an American premium television network owned by Showtime Networks, a division of Paramount Skydance Corporation operated through its Paramount Media Networks division. Not including CBS, it is the oldest network owned by Paramount. The Movie Channel's programming mainly features first-run theatrically released and independently produced motion pictures, and during promotional breaks between films, special behind-the-scenes features and movie trivia. Originally operated and sold as a standalone service (launching as Star Channel in April 1973), at present, The Movie Channel is receivable to pay television subscribers primarily as part of the multiplex tier of parent network Showtime. The channel, along with its parent network Showtime and sister network Flix, is headquartered at Paramount Plaza on the northern end of New York City's Broadway district. (wikipedia)

• • •

Wow, I guess we're really bringing this theme type back. It's been just one week since the last time we've seen a "both-words"-type puzzle. Last week I said that it was a type of theme you used to see from time to time, but that it seemed to have fallen out of fashion, or wasn't being used as much. I was surprised to see the theme type last week. I'm even more surprised to see it again this week. I figured it would drift back to the bottom of the theme-type box, but I guess it's endlessly renewable, in theory, so why not. I'm not usually a huge fan of these puzzle types unless the resulting themers are actually cool phrases *and* there's a decent revealer. Today's revealer does alright—a repurposed train phrase? That's pretty clever. On a literal level, grammatically, it's a teeny bit wonky (all the answer parts are boards, plural; each is A BOARD), but it's close enough for crosswords (i.e. you gotta give a revealer some wackiness slack, or wackyslack, as I'm now, as of this second, calling it). And the themers themselves are all solid phrases. Nothing iffy foisted upon us solely because it fits the theme. But then, on the other other hand, two of those answers are BACKWASH and HEADCHEESE, which are about as unappetizing a pair of themers as you're going to find. If I may paraphrase completely rewrite the old Folgers commercial: "The worst part of waking up / Is HEADCHEESE (and/or BACKWASH) in your puzz!" 

I know that they've got BACKWASH clued as some kind of wave phenomenon here, but come on, BACKWASH is the return of drink+saliva into a cup or can. BACKWASH is why you don't want to drink someone else's drink when the drink's almost gone. Mostly BACKWASH by then. I've never heard BACKWASH used in reference to wave motion. Nice try, puzzle, but this answer remains inherently gross. But vivid. All the themers were vivid, and that's probably what counts most in an easy early-week puzzle. I do wish the rest of the grid had been at least a little bit interesting. Felt like I was running into repeaters way too often. ENYA LEIA KIEAS EWE OUI UNA ONO POR ETTA SERTA ... and EKING! The whole EKE family is very prominent in CrossWorld, but EKING is the patriarch. The king, really. If you thought you never saw "EKE" anywhere but crosswords, true, but especially true of EKING, who will roam the halls of crosswords for eternity despite not having seen or heard in regular conversation, outside a crossword grid, since 1931. After the inevitable A.I. takeover, all countries will be run by E-KINGs. Can't wait.

ANISESEED has to be the weakest 9 there is (32D: Licorice-flavored spice). All 1-pt Scrabble tiles. Just blah. Waste of a nice big answer. I want to like LOOKIE-LOO, but I am not sure about the spelling there (11D: A shopper, not a buyer, informally). I would've spelled it LOOKY-LOO. To be clear, I wouldn't use it at all unless I was being ironically whimsical, but if forced to spell it, I'd've gone "Y." Looks like different dictionaries make different choices. I think OED has it as "looky" but merriam-webster.com has it "lookie." Both seem reasonable. So that was the one longer non-theme answer I enjoyed. After the unsavoriness of BACKWASH and HEADCHEESE, you'd think the puzzle would steer clear of any other answers with a high ick factor, but then—emanating straight out of HEADCHEESE—comes the SEWAGE. Yeah, that tracks with the E-COLI I saw earlier in the grid. 

More more more:

• 15A: ___ Dictionary (crowdsourced online reference) (URBAN) — not very useful because so often illiterate, but it can be entertaining if you're trying to find out about slang terms and what the majority of people think they mean. Someone once sent me an URBAN Dictionary mug with the term "Natick" on it. The definition could probably be better written, but I still love it.

• 38A: Miss Havisham's ward in "Great Expectations" (ESTELLA) — like ANISESEED, another long name filled with all boring letters. ESTELLA ANISESEED is what you would call a fictional character who was really into crosswords. 
• 44D: Chicago airport code (ORD) / 55D: Chicago airport (O'HARE) — what are we doing here? Besides clogging the grid with even more crosswordese. Unless you do some kind of clever crossreference, this is just a sad dupe.
• 27D: Cable inits. for cinephiles (TMC) — As I will apparently never tire of saying, "cinephiles" watch TCM (not TMC). I got so tired of seeing TMC clued as a station for "cinephiles" that I finally just looked it up to see exactly what it was (see "Word of the Day," above). Far as I can tell, it's one of countless movie options in your premium cable package. No idea what makes it distinct from any other. It's not a station "for cinephiles." It's a station for people who are scanning the infinite list of channels and finally just get bored and settle for that just-OK movie that was really popular once. You know ... that one. Actually, The Firm is on TMC right now. Yes, that seems right. (Actually, Alan J. Pakula's The Parallax View (a '70s paranoia thriller starring Warren Beatty) is on at 9:35am EDT, Hitchcock's To Catch a Thief at 1pm, and Sofia Coppola's The Virgin Suicides at 2:50—those are great movies. TCM-worthy, for sure)

That's all. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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