Yodel alternatives / SUN 9-29-24 / Latin name for ancient Troy / Supergroup that performed at Woodstock, familiarly / Two for an opinion / "Mulan" adversaries / Players who straddle two positions, in hoops lingo / Poetic foot with a "dun-dun-DUN" rhythm / Oil catcher in the kitchen / Gershwin composition that opens with a famous clarinet glissando

Constructor: Joe Deeney

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: "The Ayes Have It" — an "aye" pun ... the letter "I" is added to both words in familiar two-word phrases, creating wacky answers, which are clued wackily (i.e. "?"-style)

Theme answers:

• CORNIER STORIES (22A: Anecdotes that are more likely to elicit eye rolls?)
• TIRADE IDEALS (39A: Qualities of the perfect rant?)
• WIRY SIMILE (47A: "Skinny as a beanpole" or "thin as a rail"?)
• STEAMIER CLAIM (68A: More risqué assertion?)
• TAXI BIASES (87A: Reasons that commuters might prefer Uber?)
• WAITER METIER (95A: In-depth knowledge of the menu, perhaps?)
• PLIANT GENIUSES (118A: Ones with flexible minds and bodies?)

Word of the Day: Ragamuffin (1A: Establishment where you might eat a muffin while petting a ragamuffin => CAT CAFE) —

The Ragamuffin is a breed of domestic cat. It was once considered to be a variant of the Ragdoll cat but was established as a separate breed in 1994. Ragamuffins are notable for their friendly personalities and thick fur. // The physical traits of the breed include a rectangular, broad-chested body with shoulders supporting a short neck. These cats are classified as having heavy bones and a "substantial" body type. // The head is a broad, modified wedge with a moderately rounded forehead with short or medium-short muzzle and an obvious nose dip. The muzzle is wide with puffy whisker pads. The body should appear rectangular with a broad chest and broad shoulders and moderately heavy muscling in the hindquarters, with the hindquarters being equally broad as the shoulders. A tendency toward a fatty pad in the lower abdomen is expected. // Fur length is to be slightly longer around the neck and outer edges of the face, resulting in the appearance of a ruff. Texture is to be soft, dense and silky. Ragamuffin kittens are usually born white and develop a color pattern as they mature. Every color and pattern is allowable, with or without white. Their coats can be solid color, stripes, spots or patches of white, black, blue, red, cream, chocolate, lilac, cinnamon, seal brown or mixed colors. Their eyes can be any solid color, with some exhibiting heterochromia.

• • •

The concept here is lackluster. There's just not enough oomph or pizzazz or charm to carry a Sunday-sized puzzle. The title seems like a shrug—an obvious, corny pun with no real cleverness to it. Sometimes simple themes can yield funny results, but today's just yields ... results. Virtually all the puzzle's difficulty is in those themers, primarily because they are so preposterous, but without any of the enjoyable zaniness that sometimes comes with preposterousness. Plus, some of the theme clues and answers just seemed off. The worst, for me, was the clue on PLIANT GENIUSES (118A: Ones with flexible minds and bodies?). Nothing about this clue suggests "genius." Nothing.  Flexibility and genius are not the same. They are not. They aren't. A genius might have a flexible mind (whatever that means), but so might anybody. I had PL(I)ANT and then no idea what was supposed to follow. Because the clue was bad. Boo to that clue, for sure. As far as the answers themselves go, WIRY SIMILE was the one that stood out as a bit of a clunker because—unlike every other theme answer—the base term ("wry smile") already has an "I" in it. So instead of the two "I"s you get in every other theme answer, you end up with three. A three-ayed monster. Not a fatal flaw, but an inelegance, nonetheless. But again, the bigger problem today is that there's just not enough zing overall. The "I"-added answers just don't shine the way they ought to.

The real stars of this grid are the long Downs, particularly "RHAPSODY IN BLUE" (49D: Gershwin composition that opens with a famous clarinet glissando). I think STAG PARTIES and PUBLIC RADIO are also lovely, solid entries. I'm more neutral on SEE WHAT HAPPENS, mainly because it's a verb phrase that really could use ... context? More? "LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS," maybe? Or maybe it would be better clued as a kind of exasperated "what did I tell you?" type of expression. "See!? SEE WHAT HAPPENS!? He just sits there! I call his name, I whistle, but nothing. He just sits there. Oh why did I ever get a ragamuffin cat!? They're so standoffish, cool, and eremitic! Yes, I'm reading from a thesaurus, that's how sad I am, boo hoo! Well, I've had it. I'm gonna give Mr. Floofberry here to the CAT CAFE. Maybe he'll be happier there. Boo hoo." Etc. Annnnyway, those four long Downs were the highlight of the puzzle for me. The rest of it didn't seem to have much to offer.

[4D: Supergroup that performed at Woodstock, familiarly] 

Speaking of "OFFER," that is what I had at first for 107D: Put forward (OPINE), which is part of what made that SE corner the toughest section by far (still not properly tough, but tougher, for sure). OPTIMA as an actual word (as opposed to a bygone Kia model), that was also trouble (114A: Most favorable conditions). You'd say "optimal conditions" ... you just would. If you said OPTIMA, you would be asked to repeat yourself, at which point you'd probably revert to speaking like a normal person, if only to save time. I don't think of the SUN BELT as a meaningful place. As a place at all. I am aware that it is a place of some geographical meaning and coherence, but if you ask me the place that's [Home to eight of the 10 fastest-growing cities in the U.S.], I'm gonna look for a state, probably. I don't mind the clue as is, just explaining why it added to my problems down there in the SE corner. Lastly, there was BUTTON UP, which is an expression I just wouldn't use (89D: Complete in a tidy manner). PUT A BOW ON IT, maybe. SEW UP, possibly. But not BUTTON UP. I had the -UT and was quite sure it must be PUT-something, so I tried PUT TO BED. That's kinda sorta in the ballpark of the [Complete in a tidy manner], right? Idiomatically? PUT TO BED: "to successfully deal with something or solve a problem." I'd call that ballparkish. But wrong. It's BUTTON UP. Again, not an idiom in my idiom ... bag? Canister? Quiver? Wherever one keeps idioms.

Bullets:

• 8D: Hwy. that includes a Lake Michigan ferry crossing (U.S. TEN) — this highway doesn't seem nearly major enough to be puzzle-worthy. I thought the answer referred to the interstate, but no, that highway is major and transcontinental (also, further south), whereas this highway is just a stretch of road through Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Michigan. I lived in Michigan for eight years and I go to Minnesota regularly and I'm not sure I've ever been on it (?):

• 9D: Virtual animal companion (NEOPET) — Are these still things? Feels so turn-of-the-century. 
• 53D: Comparatively low (AS SAD) — woof, the cure is worse than the disease here. I am happy that you decided not to include a murdering tyrant in the puzzle (ASSAD), but I think maybe the real solution isn't so much a different clue as never including these particular letters in this particular order. AS SAD is about as clunky an answer as they come.
• 44D: Latin name for ancient Troy (ILIUM) — probably most familiar to English speakers from Doctor Faustus: "Is this the face that launched a thousand ships, / And burned the topless towers of Illium?" I guess he spelled it with two "L"s, but it's the same place. I wrote in ILION, which would've been correct, if the clue had said "Greek name ..."
• 31A: Players who straddle two positions, in hoops lingo (TWEENERS) — oof. I guess this is recent lingo? I used to be a big "hoops" fan in my youth and this term is unknown to me. 
• 46A: Yodel alternatives (HO-HOS) — Yodels are snack cakes. I haven't thought about them since roughly 1983.

• 46A: Two for an opinion (CENTS) — I like that inflation has truly made the average opinion nearly worthless. Social media confirms this valuation daily.
• 72A: Ending of many designer dog breed names (POO) — about as good a clue as you're going to get for POO. The least shitty. The "POO" here is short for "poodle," I think. Most of your poodle crossbreeds are "doodles," but some of them are POOs, who can say why? Here's a Westiepoo:

• 103A: "Mulan" adversaries (HUNS) — I wrote in HANS. Like ... HAN Chinese. I haven't seen  Mulan since the mid-90s when it came out.
• 18D: Menu items that McDonald's no longer offers in America, as of 2020 (SALADS) — man, COVID was more powerful than I thought. It killed SALADS. RIP, SALADS.
• 96D: No ___ May (pollinator-friendly movement) — if you're lucky, you live in a neighborhood where your neighbors don't call Code on you for participating in this "movement.". My neighbors won't call Code, but they *will* loudly complain from their neatly mown backyards, for sure.
• 62A: High style? (UPDO) — yes, I see the three (3) "UP"s in this grid (UPDO, BUTTON UP, TEEUP). That's right at, but not over, my "UP" limit. Innocuous two-letter words get a pass, especially if they aren't crossing one another.

Two more things: One, the Boswords Fall Themeless League is starting up again, with their first puzzle dropping next Monday, Oct. 7. Here's coordinator John Lieb with the deets:

Registration for the Boswords 2024 Fall Themeless League is open! This 10-week event starts with a Preseason puzzle on Monday, September 30 and features weekly themeless puzzles -- clued at three levels of difficulty -- from an all-star roster of constructors and are edited by Brad Wilber. To register, to solve a practice puzzle, to view the constructor line-up, and to learn more, go to www.boswords.org. 

Also, congrats Richard Lichtenstein, Sandy Levine, and Seymour Gurion, who were the lucky winners of last week's Spy School: Entrance Exam book giveaway. And thanks to everyone who entered. I have yet to respond to all of your lovely notes, but I will ... :)

See you next time,

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]