TUESDAY, Feb. 3, 2009 - K. Yaeger (Musical question posed by Alanis Morissette / Knee-high, bearded figure / Clear Scandinavian liquor)

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: "ISN'T IT IRONIC?" (55A: Musical question posed by Alanis Morissette, as suggested by 20-, 33- and 40-Across) - three theme answers are all misleadingly named, which in some books counts as a form of irony

Word of the Day: AQUAVIT - A strong clear Scandinavian liquor distilled from potato or grain mash and flavored with caraway seed (answers.com)

Is it ironic that I like irony and yet didn't like this puzzle?

I would have made VELO my word of the day (37D: Rider-propelled vehicle, for short), but I'm currently refusing to accept that it's a word. I spent at least half an hour last night writing VELO out of the puzzle, over and over and over. I think I got several different versions without changing O'LEARY (45A: Catherine whose cow is said to have started the Great Chicago Fire), and then I went to DREARY, then CANARY. My current version has DENALI in there, which means I had to get rid of ORISONS (41D: Prayers), which, believe me, is not a bad idea. Sadly, the one part of that section of the puzzle that does Not want to budge is ... ENYA (34D: "Orinoco Flow" singer). What did I tell you? WHAT DID I TELL YOU!? If you are alone in the house and you hear the following, Get Out Of The House!:

[The sound of zombies feeding]

Theme answers:

• 20A: Coin composed of copper, nickel, zinc and manganese (silver dollar)
• 33A: Hair treatment that generally lasts three to six months (permanent wave)
• 40A: Pro football team based in New Jersey (New York Giants)

42 black squares = a lot of black squares. Should make the grid easy as Pie (relatively speaking) to fill in, which makes fill like VELO and a lot of the other simply dull stuff less excusable. I'm thinking of sending DOER (64A: Go-getter) an ECARD (54D: Modern birthday greeting) that says "you and the card you are reading must go on a special mission ... to kill ENYA. Do not return until your mission is completed. Godspeed."

Even the anchor words here (the long Downs that hold the theme answers in place ... or so the metaphor works in my head) are kind of lousy. AQUAVIT looks cool (9D: Clear Scandinavian liquor), but it's an oddly crosswordy word (one I learned from crosswords, in fact), and does nothing for me. ORISONS is worse. Both are uncommon, but not in cool ways. Just blah. No zip. No sass. Just OK. These are the answers you put in Very early on, before your small fill, and they're a chance to give your puzzle some non-theme sizzle. ALGIERS (43D: Capital on the Mediterranean) and BEDROOM (5D: Bureau locale) are a little better, but considering almost all the other fill is bland 3- and 4-letter stuff, it would have been nice to see some spark in the anchors. I did like GIGGLE (50A: Girlish laugh) and ZIPPO (58A: Lighter brand). WITHER (31A: Shrivel) and TWIT (32D: Pipsqueak) aren't bad either.

Bullets:

• 16A: Kind of mark (quote) - the phrase is "quotation mark"; QUOTE is not the mark - it's barely the stuff inside the marks.
• 2D: Anagrammatic cousin of Alice or Lacie (Celia) - O boy, Jumble!
• 6D: Speakeasy's worry (raid) - great clue
• 10D: Victor in a duel with Hamilton (Burr) - I get Raymond Burr confused, in my mind's eye, with ... who's the actor who played Perry Mason ... he was in "Rear Window" ... "Ironside" ... Wait a minute! The duel guy is AARON, and the guy I want is Raymond. Well, I told you I got them confused. (note: that was not staged confusion - that was actual, real-time confusion)
• 25D: "_____ what you think!" ("That's")
• 26D: "_____ Only Just Begun" ("We've") - what did I say yesterday about excessive apostrophication?! Must listen to Carpenters to soothe my troubled mind:

• 42D: TV host Seacrest (Ryan) - seeing / listening to him is the price I pay for watching "American Idol"; actually, he's a fine host
• 52D: Knee-high, bearded figure (former US Secretary of Labor Robert Reich ... I mean GNOME) (Please, no angry letters, I mean no harm - he seems like he has a sense of humor)
• 58D: Second in a series of sharp turns (zag) - what's the third? ZUG?

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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MONDAY, Feb. 2, 2009 - D.J. Gulczynski (Game console introduced in 2006 / Female golfer who played in pro men's tournament age 14)

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: "WE" homophones - four theme answers end in a word that sounds like "WE" (and in one case is, in fact, "WE")

Word of the Day: Snick and SNEE - combat with knives (here's more than you ever thought you'd want to know about SNEE)

Feels like we're seeing this theme type with increasing frequency. Just had the "BORN" homophone puzzle, and now it's the "WE." It's a fine, consistent theme, but when did it become legal to have these non-theme answers that are not only longer than, but in fact dwarf half of your theme answers. MARIONETTE (17A: Pinocchio, notably) and SURE ENOUGH (59A: "You're absolutely right!") are nearly as long as the longer theme answers, and are a full three letters longer than the shorter theme answers. Makes the whole puzzle seem malformed. At the very least it's inelegant. And I like MARIONETTE and SURE ENOUGH as answers - they just shouldn't be upstaging the theme answers, particularly not to the degree we see here. I thought "non-theme answers shall not exceed theme answers in length" was a kind of rule. It seems I'm mistaken. Oh, and you're missing a "WEE," though to be fair, that's not a word you're likely to find at the end of a familiar phrase.

Theme answers:

• 20A: Game console introduced in 2006 (Nintendo Wii)
• 38A: Parisian's "But of course!" ("Mais oui!") - this is weird, because a Parisian's "But of course!" is, of course, "But of course!" - only a Parisian, or someone with a French accent, would ever utter that phrase.
• 40A: Query from one who's ready to go ("Shall we?")
• 54A: Female golfer who played in a pro men's tournament at age 14 (Michelle Wie)

I'd like never to see SNEE before Wednesday (53A: Snick and _____)

Two possessive names??? I winced a Little at AESOP'S (47A: "_____ Fables"), but gave it a pass. Then I got to TED'S (68A: "Bill & _____ Excellent Adventure") and I had to blow the whistle. Excessive apostrophication. 10 yards. Repeat 3rd down.



I'm also going to have to throw the yellow flag for Painful Pluralizing. AMENS squeaks by (6D: Cries from the congregation), but SMOGS does Not (48D: Urban pollutions). That's a flagrant foul right there. I have lived in serious, visible, hurt-your-lungs pollution, and it is all one, indivisible SMOG.

PROBATE (29D: Will validation) and DOCKAGE (21D: Fee for a freighter) are snoozers. Something dry and bureaucratic about them. Professional argot does not always make for the best crossword fill. It's also hard to get good fill when you force yourself into these long banks of three-letter answers, such as we see in the NW and SE. The NW is pretty ably handled, but the SE is Abbr, Abbr, Abbr, and GOO (62D: Melted tar, e.g.). It's like the world's most repulsive law firm.

I should add, re: DOCKAGE, that it was the hardest answer for me to get today, both because I can't remember when I've ever heard the term, and also because I kept reading the clue (and rereading it) as [Fee for a firefighter].

Things I loved - The CRAB RECIPE in the Oregon part of the puzzle is nice (22A: Maryland seafood specialty + 28A: Betty Crocker offering). BATTIER (7D: More eccentric) is a wonderful word, though the clue hardly does it justice. The freshest and sassiest answer in the puzzle, for my money, has to be COP-OUT (10D: Lame excuse). It's a fantastic, BRASH (43A: Impertinent) phrase that really stands out against its dull surroundings.

Bullets:

• I've got just one bullet today - a special bullet for a special (i.e. monstrous, relentless, hellish) lady - ENYA (57D: "Only Time" singer, 2001). The bullet, sadly, will not kill her, as she is clearly among the evil dead, destined to tear apart the flesh of crossword solvers for all eternity. So maybe I should turn the bullet on the damned New-AGER (65A: New _____ (57-Down, for one)) who is buying her music and thus keeping her "alive." I'm telling you, even with a SEVERED head (44D: Detached), this one will keep coming at you. Never forget ...

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. Happy Groundhog's Day, and, more importantly, Happy Birthday to my dad!

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