Aperitif with black currant liqueur / MON 5-29-17 / Counterparts of dahs / Tousled look of recently woken

Constructor: Jeff Chen and Seth Geltman

Relative difficulty: Challenging (over 4?!) (I mean, it is 16-wide, but still)

THEME: PRIME TIME (63A: When TV viewership peaks ... or a hint to 17-, 24-, 36- and 53-Across)  — some answers that are ... like ... good times?

Theme answers:

• GOLDEN AGE
• BANNER YEAR
• RED LETTER DAY
• FINEST HOUR 

Word of the Day: KIR (42A: Aperitif with black currant liqueur) —

Kir is a popular French cocktail made with a measure of crème de cassis (blackcurrant liqueur) topped up with white wine. // In France it is usually drunk as an apéritif before a meal or snack. It used to be made with Bourgogne Aligoté, a lesser white wine of Burgundy. Now, various white wines are used throughout France, according to the region and the whim of the barkeeper. Many prefer a white Chardonnay-based Burgundy, such as Chablis. // It used to be called blanc-cassis, but it is now named after Félix Kir (1876–1968), mayor of Dijon in Burgundy. Kir was a pioneer of the twinning movement in the aftermath of the Second World War, and popularized the drink by offering it at receptions to visiting delegations. Besides treating his international guests well, he was also promoting two economic products of the region. Kir allowed one of Dijon's producers of crème de cassis to use his name, then extended the right to their competitors as well. According to Rolland (2004),^[1] the reinvention of blanc-cassis (post 1945) was necessitated by the German Army's confiscation of all the local red Burgundy during the war. Faced with an excess of white wine, Kir renovated a drink that used to be made primarily with the red. // Another explanation that has been offered is that Mayor Kir revived it during a year in which the ordinary white wine of the region was inferior and the creme de cassis helped to disguise the fact. (wikipedia)

• • •

Not feeling this at all. The theme is a tremendous let-down. I kept wanting PRIME TIME to actually mean something (honestly, I thought maybe the numbers on the theme clues were all "primes"?), but it's just a time that is good. YEAR and DAY and HOUR are at least discrete units, but throw AGE in there and ... who knows? Anything goes, I guess. The worst part about this puzzle was the cluing, which was off, badly, everywhere. The fill has its moments, but some of those moments are garbage. If the puzzle goes 16-wide, I expect there to be a reason and I expect it to be good. Being able to put RED LETTER DAY in the center is not "good" enough. My wife wanted to murder the puzzle for MAIL IT IN alone (59A: Do a perfunctory performance). She's right that PHONE IT IN is much (as in infinitely) more common. MAIL IT IN may be an expression, but yuck. See also RUB NOSES. That's some western bullshit. I know because the lead picture of "Eskimo kissing" at wikipedia features these two:

It's one thing to amass a giant word list. It's another thing to have the ability to control it, to have discernment, to know when to say when, when to say 'no.' I'm not impressed by a tepid theme with some rough (ETERNE, ugh) fill that then tries to play all 'zazzy with a few "fresh" answers. If you can't do your core job right, all the BEDHEAD in the world won't save you.


Bah humbug:

• 24A: Topic of a happy annual report (BANNER YEAR) — This clue made no sense to me as I was solving. None. Zero. "Happy annual report"? I mean, I get it, in retrospect, but it's not really the "topic." BANNER YEAR is an idiomatic expression, so it's weird to say it's the "topic" or a "report." I kept wondering "What kind of report? Sales report?" I just couldn't envision the occasion at all. Also, I know BANNER DAY better than BANNER YEAR, though I'm not sure why. 
• 36A: Something circled on a calendar (RED LETTER DAY) — this was King Garbage. What where and when? I've seen a bunch of calendars in my life, I have never seen one where a RED LETTER DAY is "circled." RED LETTER DAY is a *$&%ing metaphor. I circle appointments, birthdays, important days, but RED LETTER DAYs (which is something highly subjective, I think) precisely never. I want this clue to die slowly in prison.
• 9D: Like a diet lacking bread or pasta, for short (NO-CARB) — ugh there is no such thing as a "NO-CARB" diet. Also, your diet can be "lacking bread or pasta" and still have carbs in it.
• 18D: Counterparts of dahs in Morse code (DITS) — Morse code remains useful today only to provide an excuse for constructors to put junk in my grid and I am over it. À bas le Morse code cluing!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld 

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Heavy metal band with killer sound / WED 12-21-16 / Sports entertainment show since 1993 / Skin-care brand whose active ingredients are oat compounds / Simpson who lost crossword contest in 2008 / Faith founded in Persia

Constructor: Seth Geltman and Jeff Chen

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: THINK BIG (61A: "Shoot for the moon!" ... or a hint to interpreting the clues to 17-, 25-, 35- and 51-Across) — clues substitute ALL CAPS for the word "Big" ... so that [HOUSE] = [Big house], etc.

Theme answers:

• 17A: HOUSE (THE CLINK) (not great, as the "THE" means the clue / answer can't be swapped out, are not equivalent)
  
• 25A: APPLE (NEW YORK CITY) (another, more minor "the" problem: New York City is *the* Big Apple, except maybe adjectivally ? or in song, perhaps?)
  
• 35A: MAC (HAMBURGER) (this one is terrible; you would never clue HAMBURGER as [Big Mac] in an actual puzzle; at best, it would be [Big Mac, e.g.]) 
• GRAN
• 51A: CHEESE (GRAND POOBAH) (works, but "Grand" means "Big," so that kind of ruins the effect...)

Word of the Day: MOLDAU (63A: European river that inspired Smetana) —

The Vltava (/vəlˈtɑːvə/; Czech pronunciation: [ˈvl̩tava] ( listen); German: Moldau, IPA: [ˈmɔldaʊ]) is the longest river within the Czech Republic, running southeast along the Bohemian Forest and then north across Bohemia, through Český Krumlov, České Budějovice and Prague, and finally merging with the Elbe at Mělník. It is commonly referred to as the Czech national river. // Vltava, also known by its German name Die Moldau (or The Moldau), was composed between 20 November and 8 December 1874 and was premiered on 4 April 1875 under Adolf Čech. It is about 13 minutes long, and is in the key of E minor. // In this piece, Smetana uses tone painting to evoke the sounds of one of Bohemia's great rivers. (wikipedia)

• • •

It's a fine idea, but it isn't executed well at all. The idea is that all-caps = "big," and that if you read the clue that way, bam, it's unlocked. Only in every case, to varying degrees, the resulting [Big ___] clue doesn't work—would not work if you simply replace the all-caps clue with Big ___. In the first case, you couldn't have THE in THE CLINK. You're in the big house, you're in the clink... you can't swap out "Big house" and THE CLINK w/o getting two "the"s. Just doesn't work. Likewise, NEW YORK CITY is *The* Big Apple. Again with the swap-out/equivalency problem. You'd never use something specific like [Big Mac] to clue just HAMBURGER (need an "e.g."). The last one, [CHEESE] for GRAND POOBAH, works best, but it's cheating, slightly, as GRAND and "Big" mean the same thing here. There are lots and lots of [Big ___] phrases in the world—you'd think there'd be enough to pull off a concept like this elegantly / accurately. DEAL => "WHO CARES!?" or SENSATION. [FOOT] => SASQUATCH. Hell, [PAPI] => DAVID ORTIZ. I mean, he's in your puzzle already, why not? (53D: David ___, longtime Red Sox slugger). Etc. Gotta be doable. Hard to see a decent theme get such a weak treatment.


Rest of the grid looks just fine. Lots of interesting answers. I thought Ms. Hemingway was MURIEL (despite "Manhattan"'s being one of my favorite movies), and I didn't check the cross thoroughly (TSU looked like ... a U. of some kind), so I had to hunt down that mistake at the end (19A: Hemingway who wrote "Out Came the Sun"). MOLDAU seems awfully obscure to me, both in general and, more importantly, for this puzzle, which generally plays within the realm of known things (63A: European river that inspired Smetana). I have heard of Smetana. That is far as my Smetana knowledge goes. The idea that I should know this river, a river that has a name that is not even its primary name (?!)—that seems odd to me.* But no DEAL, crosses worked it out. Just meant that that SW corner was the hardest by far. I also had to cross BATHOIL about five times before I saw it (1D: Aromatherapy substance). [Christian supergroup?] made me laugh as a clue for TRINITY. WWERAW is a real thing but looks hilarious / insane in the grid (49A: Sports entertainment show since 1993). I like it. I have "Rosemary's Baby" on Blu-Ray and still haven't opened / watched it (29A: She played Rosemary in "Rosemary's Baby"=> MIA). Maybe watching that will bring some holiday cheer to my life now that my fall semester is over. Seems an appropriate enough way to close out this year.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

*OK, I listened to the Smetana and it has some very familiar melodies, so I clearly "know" it, but only AURICally I mean aurally.

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