Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging (*for a Tuesday*)
THEME: EMPTY CALORIES (34A: What many junk foods contain ... with a hint to the initials of 17-, 25-, 48- and 56-Across) — two-word foods that have the initials "M.T." (say the initials out loud, they sound like "empty"):
Theme answers:
MOOSE TRACKS (17A: Vanilla ice cream with peanut butter cups and fudge)
MAPO TOFU (25A: Classic Sichuan dish made with bean curd)
MINI-TWIX (48A: Bite-size Mars candy, familiarly)
MEAT TORNADO (56A: Fictional burrito on "Parks and Recreation" that "literally killed a guy last year")
Word of the Day: MAPO TOFU (25A) —
Mapo tofu (Chinese: 麻婆豆腐; pinyin: mápó dòufu) is a popular Chinese dish from Sichuan province. It consists of tofu set in a spicy sauce, typically a thin, oily, and bright red suspension, based on douban (fermented broad bean and chili paste), and douchi (fermented black beans), along with minced meat, traditionally beef.[2] Variations exist with other ingredients such as water chestnuts, onions, other vegetables, or wood ear fungus. One account indicates that the dish existed as early as 1254, in a suburb of Chengdu, the capital city of Sichuan. Other accounts indicate it originated at a Chengdu restaurant in the 1860s. (wikipedia)
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Quick write-up today, as I have to get ready not only to teach (normal) but to leave town for a few days—going straight from work to the airport. So I gotta double- and triple-check that I've done everything I need to do before I leave. First thing I need to do before I leave: write about this puzzle. So, look, it's weird as hell, and I can't help but have some admiration for a puzzle that just ... gets freaky with it. The concept itself isn't freaky (just turning "empty" into a pun and then coming up with answers to fit the pun), but the execution of that concept, dear lord. I would call only one of those four theme answers "food." True, the puzzle is not claiming the answers are "food," just that they have CALORIES, which I guess is indisputable, but still, all the answers except MAPO TOFU (the best thing in the grid today) feel like a stretch. A ssssttttrrrreeeettttcccchhh. I'm familiar with the ice cream flavor MOOSE TRACKS (why you'd call attention to the resemblance between your product and moose droppings, I never understood). I will take your word for it that there's such a thing as MINI-TWIX (there's probably "mini-" every candy), and MEAT TORNADO ... now this, this is an answer you write down as a joke when you're first conceiving your theme. Possibly while drunk. It makes you and your friends laugh, maybe, but you know it isn't really valid for a mainstream puzzle. I watched this show when it first aired—not sure I made it all the way through, but I got close—and I have no memory of the MEAT TORNADO.
Now MEAT TORNADO wasn't hard to get (crosses are fair), and it's inherently funny, even if you have never seen Parks & Rec, but the theme feels way over its skis here. Now again, as I say, "over its skis" is at least interesting, and I'll take interesting over boring any day. Certainly this is way more interesting than yesterday's ho-hummer. It's like watching that spectacular ski-jump crash at the beginning of the old Wide World of Sports broadcasts—it hurts to watch, but it's also fascinating in its chaos. Still, only one of the four themers is an actual ordinary food (the tofu), only two are things I even recognize (the tofu, the ice cream), and only two actually feature what you'd call EMPTY CALORIES (the ice cream, the candy), so ... uneven, that's what I'd call this theme. CHOPPY, maybe. Messy. Staring at the finished grid feels like I'm looking at the aftermath of a food fight. I'm not sure that's such a bad thing.
Thing don't get less chaotic in the fill, that's for sure. And here, I'm more comfortable saying things don't exactly work. I gave up hope very early on, in the upper middle of the grid, which is the toxic core from which all bad things radiate today. ANONO maybe the worst thing I've ever seen in a grid. Any grid, anywhere. It's ... a partial ... of a thing no one says? Eleven years since it showed up in a grid (third appearance overall in the Shortz/Fagliano era). Every clue for "A NO-NO" begins with that same partial quote ("That's ___"), though the parenthetical that follows is slightly different every time ("'Don't!,'" "'Don't do it!,'" "forbidden," "not allowed"). Back in '04 the parenthetical was "(cautionary Roy Orbison song)," which at least locates the phrase "That's A NO-NO" in ... something. Some actual usage. But man is that rough fill. The kind you would (and should) absolutely tear down your grid in order to avoid. And the surrounding fill doesn't help. It crosses yet another partial (ON A), and then the dubious INK UP, which is OK on its own, I guess, but by the time I got there, there was already an "UP" answer in the grid ... and I hadn't come very far. I just started the puzzle, and already, two "UP"s (SET-UP, INK UP). It's possible this minor doubling would've become a distant memory. But then. Then. Another "UP" (PONY UP). And then, as if to show me that it knew what it was doing and didn't care, the puzzle gave me a fourth (?) "UP" (DIAL-UP). Does seeming self-awareness negate the awfulness of a triple repeat? Not for me, it doesn't.
TEN DAYS is a ridiculous answer (18D: Amount of time for Kate Hudson to "Lose a Guy," in a 2003 film). An arbitrary amount of time. It's like this puzzle couldn't exist at all without very narrow pop cultural references propping it up. And how big is your house that you have not just a TOOL BOX / KIT / SET but an entire TOOL ROOM (!?) (3D: Hammer's home). Our house didn't come with one of those. I actually tried TOOL BELT there. TOOL SHED is way more recognizable to me as a phrase than TOOL ROOM. Also, no idea who this ADOLFO prime minister / airport guy is (12D: ___ Suárez, former prime minister who lends his name to Spain's largest airport). Doesn't seem like early-week material. I just inferred his name from crosses. So the upper half of this grid was kind of a wreck (not to be confused with WREAK, which I definitely confuse with "wreck" all the time). And yet the grid does have some highlights. MIRAMAX sitting dead center is kind of snazzy (25D: "Pulp Fiction" studio). A BARCART is always welcome in my grid (or home, or general vicinity) (53A: Place to store cocktail-making equipment). I like the phrase PONY UP, and it's hard (for me) not to love an ELEPHANT. So basically it's "fascinating mess" as far as the eye can see today. I ... did not hate it.
Bullets:
32D: Actor who plays Lieutenant Sulu in the rebooted "Star Trek" films (JOHN CHO) — the portrayer of Sulu is JOHN CHO; the director of Wicked is Jon Chu. This has been your Pop Culture Name lesson for today. (The director is typically credited JON M CHU, if that helps)
26A: What the "Mona Lisa" is painted on (WOOD) — sincerely did not know this.
37D: Animal that is unable to fly with its ears, regrettably (ELEPHANT) — not a fan of this cutesy cluing. I do not regret that elephants can't fly. I think this is probably a net plus. If you've seen Wicked, you know what happens when monkeys develop the ability to fly. And they don't even weigh that much.
2D: Chess rating system (ELO) — if I made a puzzle with ELO in it, I would demand that the editors could not change the clue to [Chess rating system]. Why go with an awful, culturally narrow, actively unentertaining option on your ELO clue when you have the entire amazing ELO discography at your service. Imagine going [Chess rating system] when you could be serving solvers "Mr. Blue Sky" or "Xanadu" or "Do Ya" etc. etc. etc. Inconceivable.
["Accroche-toi à ton rêve!"]
A reminder: it's Holiday Season! This means two things for this blog. First, starting this weekend (Sunday, Dec. 8) and for at least one Sunday after that, I'll have a Holiday Gift Guide, featuring crossword and other puzzle-related gifts you can get for the puzzle-lover in your life (or for yourself, why not?). So if you have something puzzle-related to sell, or you have a puzzle-related gift suggestion, please pass that along to me. Second, also starting Sunday, Dec. 8, and then continuing for as long as I've got material, I'll be posting Holiday Pet Pics—send me pictures of your non-human loved ones in festive settings (dressed in a Santa hat, playing with a dreidel chew toy, whatever) (crossword content optional), and I'll post a few at the end of my write-up every day throughout the Holiday Season. For both gift suggestions and Holiday Pet Pics, you can reach me at rexparker at icloud dot com.
A 74-worder today, which is slightly on the low side for a Monday, and you can feel it, especially if you are solving the puzzle Downs-only. Big corners, lots of white space, and lots and lots of long Downs—twelve (12!) answers of 7 letters or longer. Generally, the longer the Down, the harder it is likely to be to get without any crosses, and while most Downs didn't give me any trouble at all, my big trouble did indeed come from long Downs in the corners. Actually, the first corner went remarkably well. First five Downs went in 1-2-3-4-5, so I was feeling pretty good about myself, but then in the NE, things didn't go so well. First of all, PROVOST and TRUSTEE have the same number of letters, I just found out (10D: Member of a college's governing board). Only one of them truly fits the clue, but when it comes to levels of university admin, it all kind of blurs together in my head, so PROVOST went in first, and TRUSTEE only later. Next door was HEMLINE, which has a hardish "?" clue on it (11D: Height of fashion?). Feels old-fashioned, this idea of HEMLINE height being the thing that changes from year to year, dividing old from new fashions, but then the puzzle feels old generally. Lots of olden fill, very little contemporary about it. The HEMLINE clue is clever, though. Just tough for me. But I got it, eventually.
Weirdly, the thing that baffled me the most up in the NE was EXPECTS (12D: Anticipates). In retrospect, it makes no sense that I had trouble—the clue and answer are pretty clearly synonyms. But I had -ECTS and just couldn't make a word that I wanted. Even when I mentally inserted the "P" in there (to make HUMP in the cross), it took me a few beats for the "X" to come to me. The other tough Down for me was GAVE OUT, specifically the GAVE part (41D: Dispensed, as Halloween candy). I think of GAVE OUT as "died." Halloween candy, I hand out. Maybe pass out. Dole out? Mete out? "GAVE OUT" certainly tracks, but the only reason I eventually got it was that I needed a four-letter past tense verb that (because the fourth cross was T-RI) ended in an "E" (or an "O," but that seemed unlikely). The rest of the grid pretty much whizzed by, but the NE and SE had me sweating a little.
The theme is rudimentary. I've seen a million of these. Hell, I made one once (actually, mine was more vowel sound progression (STALE, STEAL, STYLE, STOLE, STOOL), but it's in the same ballpark). I guess PISSED OFF is supposed to be the scene stealer, the marquee themer. It's too bad that the only thing that passes for contemporary or modern in this puzzle is this crudeness. I don't mind PISSED OFF in my grid, but I wish the other themers, and the grid as a whole, had a little more zip and zing about it (although, OK, I do kinda like PUSSYFOOTS). The grid on the whole isn't bad, but it is awash in repeaters: PSST EST ASAHI ANI TERI TODO ASHE IRULE ERIE SSN. I enjoyed HAS AN IN (38D: Knows somebody who might help) and HEMLINE, whereas SUPERSIZE did nothing for me, and "THIS IS FUN" was far less fun than the first thing I wanted there: "LET'S PARTY!" (15D: "Wheeeeeee!"). Overall, solid if staid work, with a bit more bite than the usual Monday, if only because of those open corners.
Bullets:
24D: Old LP format (MONO) — I have a lot of LPs and yet I still stared at this answer like "???" I had to fill four letters with an "old ... format?" But "LP" is the "format." So I was confused. Turned out to be about the recording (or sound) format—before the advent of stereo recording, music was recorded in MONO:
Mono (monophonic) sound is single-channel audio where all the instruments are mixed into one signal, intended to be heard as if emanating from one position.
Stereo (stereophonic)sound is achieved by using two audio channels feeding 2 separatespeakers. This creates a more three-dimensional sound, and better resembles how we hear things in the world at large. (dittomusic.com)
49D: Kids make them for Santa (LISTS) — "COOKIES" wouldn't fit. Did you do that? Make cookies for Santa? And then leave them out and in the morning they would be gone, or there'd be a big bite out of one? Because Santa and/or your parents are real? This was definitely part of my childhood Christmas experience, but I don't remember doing the cookie thing with our kid. We probably just told her that Santa was phony and Christmas was a capitalist ruse. Whatever, she survived. In fact ...
55A: Group born between 1997 and 2012, for short (GEN Z) — our daughter, born 2000, came home for the Thanksgiving holiday last week. Over the weekend, things got festive.
[Merry Capitalist Ruse!]
Speaking of festive, it's officially Holiday Season! This means two things for this blog. First, starting next week (Sunday, Dec. 8) and for at least one Sunday after that, I'll have a Holiday Gift Guide, featuring crossword and other puzzle-related gifts you can get for the puzzle-lover in your life (or for yourself, why not?). So if you have something puzzle-related to sell, or you have a puzzle-related gift suggestion, please pass that along to me. Second, also starting Sunday, Dec. 8, and then continuing for as long as I've got material, I'll be posting Holiday Pet Pics—send me pictures of your non-human loved ones in festive settings (dressed in a Santa hat, playing with a dreidel chew toy, whatever) (crossword content optional), and I'll post a few at the end of my write-up every day throughout the Holiday Season. For both gift suggestions and Holiday Pet Pics, you can reach me at rexparker at icloud dot com.
[there's a little ZAMBONI icon blocking the second "I" in INDIC(121A: Like Sanskrit)]
THEME: ZAMBONI (93D: Machine waiting to enter the middle of this grid, as suggested by the answers to the starred clues) — the middle of the grid is an "ICE" rink, represented by five isolated ICE answers, one atop the other (the Downs inside the "ice rink" must be read phonetically to be understood). The ICE rink awaits the ZAMBONI (which, if you solve in the app or on the website, appears in a little animation at the end to "resurface" the ICE). The starred clues throughout the grid have ordinary answers that can be read as ZAMBONI-related puns:
The ICEs:
ICE (54A: Decorate at a bakery)
ICE (61A: Clinch)
ICE (68A: Off, in mob slang)
ICE (73A: Rapper ___ Spice)
ICE (77A: Diamonds, informally)
The central Downs:
IIIII (i.e. "ayes") (54D: Positive votes)
CCCCC (i.e. "seize") (55D: "___ the day!")
EEEEE (i.e. "ease") (56D: Comfort)
The ZAMBONI puns (i.e. the starred clues):
SURFACE SCRATCH (23A: *Blemish on a vehicle)
SLOW-ROLLING (35A: *Like a weakly hit ground ball)
ADDED / LAYER (32A: *With 101-Across, extra level of intricacy)
FROZEN ASSET (97A: *Holding that's hard to convert to cash)
"SMOOTH OPERATOR" (115A: *1984 Sade hit)
CLEAN SHEETS (16D: *Expectation at the start of a hotel stay)
GLOSSES OVER (66D: *Quickly moves past in conversation)
Word of the Day: ZAMBONI (93D) —
An ice resurfacer is a vehicle or hand-pushed device for cleaning and smoothing the surface of a sheet of ice, usually in an ice rink. The first ice resurfacer was developed by American inventor and engineer Frank Zamboni in 1949 in Paramount, California. As such, an ice resurfacer is often referred to as a "Zamboni" as a genericized trademark. (wikipedia)
• • •
As I've said before, I'm not usually big on puzzles that are primarily architectural feats, or on puzzles that rely heavily on post-solve shenanigans (i.e. animation) for their entertainment value. That said, I like this puzzle better than most "architectural feat" puzzles because the theme involves not just physical manipulation of the grid, but wordplay to boot, and lots of it. The "ICE rink" here is particularly ingenious. You've got this strikingly isolated 3x5 section in the middle of the grid, which appears to violate one of the cardinal rules of crosswords ("Thou shalt have all over connectivity"). But the "rink" does end up being connected, conceptually, by the theme—namely the ZAMBONI, which is indeed "waiting to enter the middle of this grid." It's then connected physically to the rest of the grid, but only if you experience the post-solve animation, where a little ZAMBONI comes scooting onto the ICE and smooths everything out (i.e. systematically erases all those "ICE"s, turning them a bright ice-blue).
Print solvers obviously miss out on the post-solve ZAMBONI appearance. My software ended up in a kind of No Man's Land when rendering the animation, giving me instead a static picture of what I ultimately inferred was supposed to be a ZAMBONI, and then a teeny line connecting the "rink" to the rest of the grid, which (in the animation) is the entry/exit point of for the ZAMBONI.
Those "rink" answers, particularly the Acrosses, are very easy to get, so it's likely you didn't need any particular assistance from the theme to work them out. From a pure solving standpoint, best thing about the "center ice" (which, I just realized, describes this puzzle perfectly *and* is the actual term for the central part of a hockey rink) is the clever way the Downs are worked out, the all-one-letter phonetic solutions to "AYES," "SEIZE," and "EASE." This gives the puzzle an ADDED / LAYER (!) of wordplay, on top of the general punniness of the answers to the starred clues. Overall, the puzzle reminded me a lot of the recent HOT AIR BALLOON puzzle, with its pictorial element and its punny themers. The balloon puzzle's pictorial element was more striking, but it was also more obvious—I like how this "rink" kind of snuck up on me—and the added wordplay involved in the "ICE rink" composition gave it a little extra zing.
[88A: Either of two wise-cracking film critics in "Mystery Science Theater 3000"]
As for the fill, my main comment is "Rizzo had a first name!? And it was BETTY!?!?!?" Admittedly, it's been many many years since I watched Grease, but I have watched it a lot, and somehow forgot the BETTY tidbit. Now that I'm typing it out, I seem to remember that ... maybe (?) there was a scene where people (the T-Birds?) teased her about her first name (for sounding too "good girl," maybe). Anyway, she is decidedly mononymous throughout the film, so I had a big blank where BETTY was supposed to go, and somehowthat blankness radiated westward and made everything over there harder. That section below ADDED and above ÉTÉ was by far the hardest part for me to work out. No idea about ALDA (32D: Emmy winner born Alphonso D'Abruzzo), DOUP (33D: Arrange, as hair), or DUMAS (45A: "The Corsican Brothers" author, 1844). The BETTY-adjacent TISSUES had that "?" clue that kept it out of my reach for a bit (47D: Cold comfort?). I had MILEPOST before SIGNPOST (64A: Info provider at a crossroads), I totally forgot the Elgort guy (ANSEL) (83A: Actor Elgort of "West Side Story"), and with GOSSIP, again, the "?" clue got me (89A: Dirt-y words?), as did the fact that the answer itself wasn't a plural (the clue could've just been ["Dirt"], but they had to go and get fancy). But outside of that section, things were very easy. I misspelled Bert LAHR's name (as LEHR) and wouldn't have noticed if BASEL hadn't looked so wrong (105A: ___ metabolism => BASAL; whereas BASEL is a city in Switzerland; BASIL, of course, remains a culinary herb, which I'm unlikely to forget, as it is the only member of the BAS-L family with which I have regular contact). In that same area, I struggled (slightly) to figure out the "setting" for "Cinderella," after ROYAL PALACE and ROYAL CASTLE wouldn't fit. Once I got ROYAL BALL, it seemed obvious, but once you start looking for a physical place, it's hard to stop.
[SIGNPOST suddenly triggered a memory of this textbook/workbook that I had in elementary school (in the late '70s); haven't thought about it at all since elementary school ... until now. Crazy]
Some notes:
5A: Source of distress for a bull (DIP) — briefly worried that there was going to be some animal suffering in the puzzle, but "bull" here is just someone betting on a "bull" (i.e. rising) market. To that person, a (market) DIP would be potentially distressful.
1A: Smack (BUSS) — both words for “kiss”
13A: Actress Barton of "The O.C." (MISCHA) — kinda going back for this one. I watched the show for a bit, so I know her name, but secondary actors on bygone TV can be dicey name territory. Luckily, today, the crosses all seem fair. That's assuming you knew SCREE, or at least knew enough to infer that "S" (15D: Rocky debris).
28A: Things compared between Wordle solvers (STREAKS) — ew, what? People do this? I am a religious Wordle solver but I've never given one thought to my "streak," and even if I did, the idea that I'd "compare" mine with someone else's, no. Weird. Crossword streaks are far more noteworthy and substantial as puzzling accomplishments go—and I wouldn't compare them either. No one cares about your streak (but you).
73A: Rapper ___ Spice (ICE) — if you've never heard of her, I'm not that surprised. She is a very recent phenomenon (rising to fame sometime in the past few years) ("she began her musical career in 2021," per wikipedia). But I'm no expert. I only know about her because they discussed her on "All Songs Considered" once, and also some local frat (I think?) has a poster of her hanging in their window downtown that I walk past all the time. It looks something like this:
91A: Co-star of 1952's "Moulin Rouge," familiarly (ZSA-ZSA) — I had no idea ZSA-ZSA Gabor was in ... anything. She always seemed to be famous primarily for being famous. Unlike her sister, EVA, who was on Green Acres. Anyway, my reaction to this clue was "they had a 'Moulin Rouge' in 1952?" News to me. I know ZSA-ZSA primarily from a single episode of The Love Boat. Here's a clip (in German, for added fun):
94A: X exchanges, for short (DMS) — X is the site formerly known as Twitter. The app has recently suffered a mass exodus of users, whereas competing app BlueSky has seen its numbers soar. I deactivated my Twitter (X) account on my birthday this year, and am now living quite happily on BlueSky. Oh, and DMS are simply "direct messages."
24D: What a par 5 has never been, on the P.G.A. Tour (ACED) — to "ace" a hole is to get a hole-in-one.
31D: Operate at a heavy loss (BLEED MONEY) — vivid. Best non-theme answer in the grid. Maybe the best answer, period. Well, except maybe "SMOOTH OPERATOR," which is hard to beat.
111D: Guesses of interest in the cellphone lot (ETAS) — I have to confess that I have no idea what a "cellphone lot" is. Apparently it's just a free or low-cost parking lot for people to wait in when they're picking up passengers from the airport (although maybe they have them at other public transport sites, I don't know).
It's the first day of December, which means (in my mind, at any rate) it's officially Holiday Season! This means two things for this blog. First, starting next week and for a couple Sundays after that, I'll have a Holiday Gift Guide, featuring crossword and other puzzle-related gifts you can get for the puzzle-lover in your life (or for yourself, why not?). So if you have something puzzle-related to sell, or you have a puzzle-related gift suggestion, please pass that along to me. Second, also starting next Sunday and then for as long as I've got material, I'll be posting Holiday Pet Pics—send me pictures of your non-human loved ones in festive settings (dressed in a Santa hat, playing with a dreidel chew toy, whatever) (crossword content optional), and I'll post a few at the end of my write-up every day throughout the Holiday Season. For both gift suggestions and Holiday Pet Pics, you can reach me at rexparker at icloud dot com.
A long time ago, I was solving this puzzle and got stuck at an unguessable (to me) crossing: N. C. WYETH crossing NATICK at the "N"—I knew WYETH but forgot his initials, and NATICK ... is a suburb of Boston that I had no hope of knowing. It was clued as someplace the Boston Marathon runs through (???). Anyway, NATICK— the more obscure name in that crossing—became shorthand for an unguessable cross, esp. where the cross involves two proper nouns, neither of which is exceedingly well known. NATICK took hold as crossword slang, and the term can now be both noun ("I had a NATICK in the SW corner...") or verb ("I got NATICKED by 50A / 34D!")