Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle: Orbiter of Mars

Constructor: Steve Riley

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: OH NO! — the only vowel in the grid is "O"

Word of the Day: ORLOP (24D: Lowest deck of a ship) —

(naval architecture) The lowest continuous deck of a ship having four or more decks.

Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/orlop-deck#ixzz1yCZd2sXi

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ORLOP can also be found at answers.com under the category "obscure words," so if you didn't get know it, as I sure as hell didn't, don't feel too bad.

This puzzle shows what happens when people cling too tightly to ideas they originally thought were "good." Just because one *can* make a grid with "O" as the only vowel doesn't mean one should. The question is—why do it? To prove that it can be done? Just ask someone—any constructor. He/she will tell you it can be done. And you can stop there. No, you say—you really need to Do It. OK, get it out of your system. But for god's sake don't publish it. It's going to be full of the worst fill imaginable. Halfway through solvers are going to be wondering why the answers in this puzzle are so awkward, stale, and dreadful. I mean, has anyone ever seen OTHO (52D: Roman emperor of A.D. 69) and OTTO(S) (20A: Four Holy Roman emperors) together in the same grid before? I didn't even know that was legal. And WTF is ORRS?? (33A: "The Pearl of ___ Island" (Harriet Beecher Stowe novel)) OBOL?? (7D: Ancient Greek coin) ORLOP?? And we won't even touch on the short crosswordese, which goes on an on and on and on. And on. I liked MOTT ST (40A: Main thoroughfare through N.Y.C.'s Chinatown). And HOOCH (25D: Moonshine). And not a lot else. SLOG doesn't even begin to cover it (34D: Trudge).

Consoling words from a friend: "Hey, look on the bright side. At least the clues weren't forced into the theme as well." That side is, indeed, bright.

Bullets:

8A: Like traditional movies, for short (TWOD) — i.e. two-dimensional. So ... yeah. This clue is pretty useless. "Traditional"? How about [Like 99.9% of movies ever made]?
23A: Jolly Green Giant's outburst ("HO HO HO") — because "F*&^ you, Sprout!" wouldn't fit.

43A: Orbiter of Mars (PHOBOS) — The ORLOP / PHOBOS crossing was a total guess. I also had to guess the "B" in PHOBOS / BONKS. Pure luck that it all worked out. Of course I did have HOOF / SPOOFS at 58A: Catchy musical phrase / 41D: Spies, slangily, before I double-checked the puzzle (it's HOOK / SPOOKS). HOOF relates to dance, right? Which is musical, right? No idea how SPOOFS are spies. I didn't really think it through.
4D: Jesse who pitched a major-league record 1,252 games (OROSCO) — Wow, is that right? I had no idea he was around that long. I'm guessing many, many solvers have no idea who he is at all. I knew him instantly—the only question was whether his name had an "S" or a "Z". I guessed right.