Lowest deck on a ship / TUE 6-19-12 / Orbiter of Mars / Jesse who pitched 1252 games / Jolly Green Giant's outburst / Spies slangily / Main thoroughfare through NYC's Chinatown / Like traditional movies

Constructor: Steve Riley

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: OH NO! — the only vowel in the grid is "O"

Word of the Day: ORLOP (24D: Lowest deck of a ship) —

(naval architecture) The lowest continuous deck of a ship having four or more decks. 

Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/orlop-deck#ixzz1yCZd2sXi

• • •

ORLOP can also be found at answers.com under the category "obscure words," so if you didn't get know it, as I sure as hell didn't, don't feel too bad.

This puzzle shows what happens when people cling too tightly to ideas they originally thought were "good." Just because one *can* make a grid with "O" as the only vowel doesn't mean one should. The question is—why do it? To prove that it can be done? Just ask someone—any constructor. He/she will tell you it can be done. And you can stop there. No, you say—you really need to Do It. OK, get it out of your system. But for god's sake don't publish it. It's going to be full of the worst fill imaginable. Halfway through solvers are going to be wondering why the answers in this puzzle are so awkward, stale, and dreadful. I mean, has anyone ever seen OTHO (52D: Roman emperor of A.D. 69) and OTTO(S) (20A: Four Holy Roman emperors) together in the same grid before? I didn't even know that was legal. And WTF is ORRS?? (33A: "The Pearl of ___ Island" (Harriet Beecher Stowe novel)) OBOL?? (7D: Ancient Greek coin) ORLOP?? And we won't even touch on the short crosswordese, which goes on an on and on and on. And on. I liked MOTT ST (40A: Main thoroughfare through N.Y.C.'s Chinatown). And HOOCH (25D: Moonshine). And not a lot else. SLOG doesn't even begin to cover it (34D: Trudge).


Consoling words from a friend: "Hey, look on the bright side. At least the clues weren't forced into the theme as well." That side is, indeed, bright.

Bullets:

• 8A: Like traditional movies, for short (TWOD) — i.e. two-dimensional. So ... yeah. This clue is pretty useless. "Traditional"? How about [Like 99.9% of movies ever made]?
• 23A: Jolly Green Giant's outburst ("HO HO HO") — because "F*&^ you, Sprout!" wouldn't fit.
• 43A: Orbiter of Mars (PHOBOS) — The ORLOP / PHOBOS crossing was a total guess. I also had to guess the "B" in PHOBOS / BONKS. Pure luck that it all worked out. Of course I did have HOOF / SPOOFS at 58A: Catchy musical phrase / 41D: Spies, slangily, before I double-checked the puzzle (it's HOOK / SPOOKS). HOOF relates to dance, right? Which is musical, right? No idea how SPOOFS are spies. I didn't really think it through.
• 4D: Jesse who pitched a major-league record 1,252 games (OROSCO) — Wow, is that right? I had no idea he was around that long. I'm guessing many, many solvers have no idea who he is at all. I knew him instantly—the only question was whether his name had an "S" or a "Z". I guessed right.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Japanese flower-arranging art / WED 4-18-12 / Constellation with Stingray Nebula / Cuneiform discovery site / Subject of 1982 best seller on sexuality / Carnaby Street type of 60s

Constructor: Steven Riley

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: SQUARE DANCE (38A: Hoedown activity ... or what each group of circled letters is?) — circles form squares at six different places in the grid. Each of these squares spells out a dance (when read clockwise, starting in the NW corner of each square)

Word of the Day: IKEBANA (59A: Japanese flower-arranging art) —

More than simply putting flowers in a container, ikebana is a disciplined art form in which nature and humanity are brought together. Contrary to the idea of floral arrangement as a collection of particolored or multicolored arrangement of blooms, ikebana often emphasizes other areas of the plant, such as its stems and leaves, and draws emphasis toward shape, line, form. Though ikebana is a creative expression, it has certain rules governing its form. The artist's intention behind each arrangement is shown through a piece's color combinations, natural shapes, graceful lines, and the usually implied meaning of the arrangement. // Another aspect present in ikebana is its employment of minimalism. That is, an arrangement may consist of only a minimal number of blooms interspersed among stalks and leaves. The structure of a Japanese flower arrangement is based on a scalene triangle delineated by three main points, usually twigs, considered in some schools to symbolize heaven, earth, and man and in others sun, moon, and earth. The container is a key element of the composition, and various styles of pottery may be used in their construction. (wikipedia) 

• • •

Well that was easy. The theme is a good one, though one that I'm stunned hasn't been done before. Knowing the theme didn't help me at any point, and I haven't heard of half these dances—or, rather, I haven't heard of the HABANERA, didn't know the BOOGALOO was a real thing, and thought FANDANGO was a card game when that square first came into view (probably thinking FARO). In fact, when I got KENO GAME (GAME is necessary?) (11D: Casino attraction with a "bubble"), I thought there was some kind of gambling theme happening. But honestly I didn't have much time to "think" because the answers were so darned easy to get. [Brubeck of jazz], really? Wow. [Gumbo need], four letters? Huh, I wonder... I will grant you that SAMANTHA EGGAR is an insane answer for any day of the week, and IKEBANA is exotic in a non-everyday kind of way, and IBAÑEZ is meaningless to me unless it's got a baseball clue (51D: Big guitar brand), so those answers spiced things up a little. But otherwise, it was just fill-in-the-blanks, easy as pie. Helps to be a constant solver, as usual, since stuff like AMARNA (2D: Cuneiform discovery site) and AZO and AMYL and GIA and INCA and ANTZ and ARA (52A: Constellation with the Stingray Nebula) even SUMAC just filled themselves in.

This puzzle's G-SPOT is easy to find (9D: Subject of a 1982 best seller on sexuality).

I only just now figured out that I had SAMANTHA / EGGAR (of whom I've never heard) confused with Nicole Eggert, who was on "Baywatch" and "Charles in Charge." I'm not sure which actress is more out-there as a crossword answer, but EGGAR's got the Academy Award nomination, so that probably makes her slightly more legitimate. That said. I can pick Nicole Eggert out of a line-up. Not so EGGAR.

Bullets:

• 29A: Pitcher Maglie who was outdueled in Don Larsen's 1956 perfect game (SAL) — not sure how I know this. Maybe I don't. Maybe I just inferred it from the "S"; the only SAL I know from baseball is SAL Bando.
• 43A: Carnaby Street type of the '60s (MOD) — Off the "D." Seemed reasonable. Probably wouldn't have gotten it so easily without the phrase "of the '60s."
• 64A: ___ Ishii ("Kill Bill" character) (O-REN) — I love this movie, and I have rejected this answer from one of my own puzzles before, so ... not hard.

• 66A: S.U.V. named for a lake (TAHOE) — where they do their squaredancing at the Tahoedown.
• 61D: 17 of them are sung before "my gosh" in a 2010 #1 Usher hit (OHS) — Decidedly better than the cereal clue.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Figure skater Brasseur / FRI 3-23-12 / 1993 rap hit in which Snoop Doggy Dogg popularized term bootylicious / Ancient talisman with mathematical properties / Minnie Moocher feature / Ponyo writer/director Hayao / Vronsky's love / Beater of full boat in poker

Constructor: Steven Riley

Relative difficulty: REALLY EASY

THEME: none

Word of the Day: "DRE DAY" (56A: 1993 rap hit in which Snoop Doggy Dogg popularized the term "bootylicious") —

"Fuck wit Dre Day (And Everybody's Celebratin')" (released as "Dre Day") is a hip-hop single by Dr. Dre, with a guest appearance by Snoop Doggy Dogg, from the 1992 album The Chronic on Death Row Records. The song was released as a single in 1993. (wikipedia)

[WARNING—profane]

• • •

I nearly set a Friday record, and I was solving on paper. In fact, I'm certain this is an on-paper record for me, for Friday. It's a nice, lively, clean grid, but the cluing could've been dialed up a bit. Too many gimmes, and some long gimmes at that (e.g. "JERSEY SHORE" 47A: Hit MTV series starting in 2009; BRAIN FREEZE 19A: Ice cream gobbler's woe, etc.). There was some clue trickiness around a couple of actor names, most notably BROSNAN (36D: Pierce with lines) and ANNE (43A: Archer of film), and I can see how some people might have been utterly locked out of stuff like "DRE DAY" and MIYAZAKI (31D: "Ponyo" writer/director Hayao), but that's all right over the plate for me. The problem with a puzzle this smooth and easy and unthornily clued is that there's not much to say. A pleasant way to spend a handful of minutes on a Friday.

Bullets:

• 36A: "The Godfather" enforcer who "sleeps with the fishes" (BRASI) — Luca BRASI. Everyone who knows that film knows this answer. 
• 39A: "Minnie the Moocher" feature (SCAT) — is it possible that this song was in the "Blues Brothers" movie? I feel like I know it, but I don't know how ... YES. I was right. Hurray for my memory and its ability to retrieve 32-year-old trivia.

• 53A: Vronsky's love (KARENINA) — come on. 
• 4D: Ancient talisman with mathematical properties (MAGIC SQUARE) — No idea what this is, but MAGIC filled itself in, and then the Q showed up (28A: Beater of a full boat in poker = QUADS), and what else could it be?
• 12D: Figure skater Brasseur (ISABELLA) — a nice attempt to toughen things up, and yet I filled this in entirely off just the "IS-".

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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