Infamous chess trap that ends the game in two moves / FRI 5-22-26 / Qualifier to an embarrassing question / Symbol use in summation / "Sticky" birthday treats? / Genre for Blackpink and Twice / Place to get "pawmpered," say / What some streakers are charged with? / Product of manscaping / ___-Saint-Michel (French commune on a tiny island) / When doubled, a fluffy Chinese dog / Young's partner in accounting

Constructor: Gene Louise De Vera

Relative difficulty: Easy 

THEME: none 

Word of the Day: MONT-Saint-Michel (21A: ___-Saint-Michel (French commune on a tiny island)) —

Mont-Saint-Michel (French pronunciation: [lə mɔ̃ sɛ̃ miʃɛl]; Norman: Mont Saint Miché; English: Saint Michael's Mount) is a tidal island and mainland commune in Normandy, France.

The island lies approximately one kilometre (half a nautical mile) off France's north-western coast, at the mouth of the Couesnon River near Avranches and is 7 hectares (17 acres) in area. The mainland part of the commune is 393 hectares (971 acres) in area so that the total surface of the commune is 400 hectares (990 acres). As of 2023, the island has a population of 23.

The commune's position—on an island just a few hundred metres from land—made it accessible at low tide to the many pilgrims to its abbey, and defensible as the incoming tide stranded, drove off, or drowned threats on foot. The island remained unconquered during the Hundred Years' War. A small garrison fended off a full attack by the English in 1433. Louis XI recognised the benefits of its natural defence and turned it into a prison. The abbey was used regularly as a prison during the Ancien Régime.

Mont-Saint-Michel and its surrounding bay were inscribed on the UNESCO list of World Heritage Sites in 1979 for its unique aesthetic and importance as a Catholic site. It is visited by more than three million people each year, and is the most-visited tourist attraction in France outside of Paris. Over 60 buildings within the commune are protected as historical monuments. (wikipedia)

• • •

[40A]

Really torn about that half star. The grid-spanners today are stunning—five winners, not a clunker among them—but then the fill, especially around the margins, oof, not cool. AwFUL, at times. OLA OPA ASO awFUL. "OK, OK!" No, not OK. "OH, COOL." No, you're not listening, the opposite of cool. LOESS than cool. Fill that only MESO-OAFS could love. Fill that could please only KAL, ELIE, ET ALII (meeting ET ALII early on was extremely disheartening). ONED! Never good, no matter how you clue it. So solving this was like going to amazing highs and then plummeting to dizzying lows. Like a roller coaster ride (yay!) that makes you want to barf at times (boo!). If the fill had been clean, this could've been a four-star puzzle, higher maybe. But as is ... I think it probably deserves three stars. But ... and maybe this is because I turned my spring grades in yesterday ... I am feeling generous. The half star above three acknowledges how good the good stuff is. And now, having grumped about the uglier parts of the grid, I can move on to happier topics.

[29A: Val who played Iceman in "Top Gun"]

ASKING FOR A FRIEND went in like whoooooosh, straight across the grid, after I got the "A" and "I" "N" "G" crosses sorted. A great way to zoom into the grid. That one answer made the whole top part of the puzzle easy to take down and then whoosh, off I shot again, down the length of the grid, all the way to the bottom on the back of MOONLIGHT SONATA! I was less lucky with neighboring EARTHLIKE PLANET—I got the EARTH part easily enough, but then ... those "planets" sounded like stars to me, somehow, so I was like "EARTH ... EARTHLESS STAR? No, too short ... I give up." So I just worked from SONATA and the bottom filled itself in pretty easily—no idea about FOOL'S MATE (61A: Infamous chess trap that ends the game in two moves) but crosses were easy, and then yet another whoooosh with ALL BARK AND NO BITE. With the back end now in place, I could see EARTHLIKE PLANET, and so back up I went to the center for whooosh number four, KILL WITH KINDNESS, which took me into the sides of the grid, which is where I finished. Again, really wish those sides (and all the edges of this grid) weren't so crud-laden—tough to end a largely enjoyable solve by stepping in ONED—but that's how things go some days. As I say, the overall experience was a positive one.

Was it too easy again today? Yes, pretty much, but the oversized grid at least gave me a little more to do. The only thing that really held me up in any discernible way today was EARTHLIKE PLANET, and as we've seen, it didn't hold me up much. Very workaroundable. I struggled a little with CAKESICLES (3D: "Sticky" birthday treats?) largely because those are relatively modern inventions—no birthday party I ever went to had them. Just serve cake! I know, forks,  plates, whatever, but if you think the cake-on-a-stick thing is going to be any less messy, then ... you aren't familiar with the party-eating habits of small children. I can't imagine wanting to eat a cakesicle. Also, aren't they called CAKE POPs?? What is the difference? Hmm, looks like CAKE POPs imitate a lollipop and CAKESICLES are more like popsicles. The fact that both forms being imitated have "pop" in their names is not helping. Anyway, the distinction seems to be a matter of shape and stick type. And that's what the clue is trying to pun on, by the way—"sticky" refers to the "stick" through the center of the CAKESICLES, not the fact that CAKESICLES are "sticky" as in "gooey and messy," which may or may not be true.

Bullets:

• 33A: "Neato!" ("OH, COOL"!) — No. "Neato!" = "COOL!" There's nothing really cluing the "OH" part. Dislike. 
• 44A: Place to get "pawmpered," say (PET SPA) — first of all, if crosswords didn't tell me so on a seemingly weekly basis, I'm not sure I'd know PET SPAs (or DOGSPAS or CATSPAWS or FERRETSPAS) existed (I made that last one up ... or did I?) (I did). Second, that's an awful pun. I don't mean "awful" as in "a groaner," I mean it doesn't work. It doesn't sound right. You're going to pawmper your dog? Sounds like you're going to beat it with some kind of miniature sledgehammer. "Come on, Fluffy, time to get pawmpered" [dog hides]. The vowel sound is so different that you lose the pun. I guess it's more of a visual pun? Those ... aren't as good.
• 6D: Symbol use in summation (SIGMA) — very mathy/chessy puzzle (SIGMA, UNSOLVED, FOOLSMATE). Not for me, but possibly for you.
• 65A: What some streakers are charged with? (TASERS) — I guess this is supposed to be funny, but somehow police using truly excessive violence on someone pulling an ultimately harmless prank doesn't make me chuckle. Real grim "joke" clue. 
• 55A: Product of manscaping (NAIR) — really, really hate the "of" here. A product of manscaping is something created by manscaping. Like ... I dunno, what do they call that little hairway path running from your bellybutton ... downward? "Trail of Tears?" No, that's not it. "Glory ... path?" Gah. It has a name! Aha, found it: "happy trail!" LOL, Trail of Tears—I was close! Anyway, NAIR is a product for manscaping. It's a manscaping product. It is not a product "of manscaping." Boo. [Update: I have no idea how, but I misread the clue; my the clue is actually [Product for manscaping] and my printout actually reads [Product for manscaping] but somehow I read "for" as "of" and it stuck so bad that I continued to believe it was "of" even as I wrote about it ... sometimes I worry about myself. Anyway, boo to me, not the clue! And maybe you learned something about abdominal hair along the way!]

Happy trails, FOLKs. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd]
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Wicket and Teebo of Endor, e.g. / SUN 1-4-26 / Ixnays from Irkutsk / Ultimate end, to Aristotle / Obnoxious fratty sort, colloquially / Combine using heat without melting, as particles / Certain drink + what that drink has a lot of = women's lifestyle website / Elf portrayed by Cate Blanchett in "The Fellowship of the Ring" / Where idols go head-to-head? / Queen ___ Land (region of Antarctica claimed by Norway) / Titular role in a 2024 Disney prequel / Word before winner or after Wonder

Constructor: Gene Louise De Vera

Relative difficulty: Medium

[20D: Wicket and Teebo of Endor, e.g. = EWOKS]

THEME: "Base Pairs" — famous people who were DOUBLE-CROSSED (33D: Like five Across answers by five Down answers in this puzzle, literally and figuratively)—the double-crossers literally double-cross their victims (i.e. cross their victims twice in the grid) [curiously, as someone in the comments has noted, with each double-crossing pair, the double-crosser who is actually *clued* as the double-crosser crosses his victim each time at the last letter (or “back”), making him a kind of “back-stabber” (!!)]:

Theme answers:

• CAESAR (35A: General who crossed the Rubicon)
• BRUTUS (3D: Name of Ohio State's buckeye mascot)
• BRUTUS (30D: Believing his friend and ally had too much power, he led a party of conspirators to put an end to him)
• OSIRIS (8A: Egyptian god of the underworld)
• SET (9D: Ready ... or a word after ready)
• SET (13D: He scattered his brother's remains across the land and usurped his throne)
• MUFASA (61A: Titular role in a 2024 Disney prequel)
• SCAR (50D: Traumatize)
• SCAR (52D: He led his brother to his demise by endangering his nephew)
• JESUS (91A: The Lamb)
• JUDAS (91D: 2011 Lady Gaga hit)
• JUDAS (69D: He sold out his master in exchange for silver)
• OTHELLO (119A: Whence the phrase "wear one's heart on one's sleeve")
• IAGO (105D: Jafar's parrot in "Aladdin")
• IAGO (107D: Driven by envy toward his comrades, he fabricated events that led to their downfall)

Word of the Day: SET (13D) —

Set (/sɛt/; Egyptological: Sutekh - swtẖ ~ stẖ or: Seth /sɛθ/) Ⲥⲏⲧ (Coptic) is a god of deserts, storms, disorder, violence, and foreigners in ancient Egyptian religion. In Ancient Greek, the god's name is given as Sēth (Σήθ). Set had a positive role where he accompanied Ra on his barque to repel Apep (Apophis), the serpent of Chaos. Set had a vital role as a reconciled combatant. He was lord of the Red Land (desert), where he was the balance to Horus' role as lord of the Black Land (fertile land).

In the Osiris myth, the most important Egyptian myth, Set is portrayed as the usurper who murdered and mutilated his own brother, Osiris. Osiris's sister-wife, Isis, reassembled his corpse and resurrected her dead brother-husband with the help of the goddess Nephthys. The resurrection lasted long enough to conceive his son and heir, Horus. Horus sought revenge upon Set, and many of the ancient Egyptian myths describe their conflicts. (wikipedia)

• • •

***ATTENTION: READERS AND FELLOW SOLVERS*** : It's early January, which means it's time once again for my annual week-long pitch for financial contributions to the blog. Every year I ask readers to consider what the blog is worth to them on an annual basis and give accordingly. 2026 is a big year for me, as Rex Parker Solves the NYT Crossword will celebrate its 20th birthday in September. Two decades. The big 2-0. A score of years. One score and no years ago, I brought forth on this Internet a new blog, conceived in ... I think I'll stop there, but you get the idea. I've been at this a long time, and while it has been my privilege and joy, it has also been (and continues to be) a lot of work. Very early mornings, no days off—well, no days off for the blog. I do have two very able regular subs (Mali and Clare) who write for me once a month, as well as a handful of other folks who stand in for me when I go on vacation. But otherwise, it's just me, every dang day, up by 4am, solving and writing. I've never been this disciplined about anything in my life. Ask anyone. "Is he disciplined about anything else?" "No, he is not. Just this one thing. It's weird." And it's because I have a responsibility to an audience (that's you). Even after nearly 20 years, I'm still genuinely stunned and exceedingly grateful that so many of you have made the blog a part of your daily routine. Ideally, it adds a little value to the solving experience. Teaches you something you didn't know, or helps you look at crosswords in a new way, or makes you laugh (my highest goal, frankly). Or maybe the blog simply offers a feeling of commiseration—a familiar voice confirming that yes, that clue was terrible, or yes, that themer set should have been tighter, or wow, yes, that answer was indeed beautiful. Whether you find it informative or comforting or entertaining or infuriating—or all of the above—if you're reading me on a fairly regular basis, there's something valuable you're getting out of the blog. And I couldn't be happier about that.

["That's upside-down, sweetheart"]

Hopefully by now you can tell that for better or worse, what you get from me is my honest, unvarnished feelings about a puzzle. There's an explanatory element too, sure, but this blog is basically one person's solving diary. Idiosyncratic. Personal. Human. I'm not interested in trying to guess consensus opinion. I'll leave that to A.I. All I can do, all I want to do, is tell you exactly what it was like for me to solve the puzzle—what I thought, what I felt. Because while solving may seem like mere box-filling to outsiders, crossword enthusiasts know that the puzzle actually makes us feel things—joy, anguish, confusion (confusion's a feeling, right?). Our feelings might not always be rational, but dammit, they're ours, and they're worth having. And sharing. I love that crosswords engage the messy, human side of you, as well as the objective, solution-oriented side. If I just wanted to fill in boxes, without any of the messy human stuff, I'd solve sudoku (no shade, sudoku fans, they're just not for me!).

[conferring w/ my editor]

Over the years, I have received all kinds of advice about "monetizing" the blog, invitations to turn it into a subscription-type deal à la Substack or Patreon. And maybe I'd make more money that way, I don't know, but that sort of thing has never felt right for me. And honestly, does anyone really need yet another subscription to manage? As I've said in years past, I like being out here on this super old-school blogging platform, just giving it away for free and relying on conscientious addicts like yourselves to pay me what you think the blog's worth. It's just nicer that way. How much should you give? Whatever you think the blog is worth to you on a yearly basis. Whatever that amount is is fantastic. Some people refuse to pay for what they can get for free. Others just don't have money to spare. All are welcome to read the blog—the site will always be open and free. But if you are able to express your appreciation monetarily, here are three options. First, a Paypal button (which you can also find in the blog sidebar on the homepage, as well as at the bottom of every write-up):

Second, a mailing address (checks can be made out to "Michael Sharp" or "Rex Parker") (be sure to date them with the new year, 2026!):

Rex Parker c/o Michael Sharp
54 Matthews St
Binghamton, NY 13905

The third, increasingly popular option is Venmo; if that's your preferred way of moving money around, my handle is @MichaelDavidSharp (the last four digits of my phone are 4878, in case Venmo asks you, which I guess it does sometimes, when it's not trying to push crypto on you, what the hell?!)

All Paypal contributions will be gratefully acknowledged by email. All Venmo contributions will get a little heart emoji, at a minimum :) All snail mail contributions will be gratefully acknowledged with hand-written postcards. I know snail mail is a hassle for most people, but I love it. I love seeing your (mostly) gorgeous handwriting and then sending you my (completely) awful handwriting. The human touch—it's nice. In recent years, my daughter has designed my annual postcards, but this year, grad school and NYC theater work are keeping her otherwise occupied, so I had to seek design help elsewhere. Enter Katie Kosma, who is not only a professional illustrator/designer, but (crucially!) a crossword enthusiast. She listened patiently to my long and disorganized list of ideas and in very short order was able to arrive at this year's design, inspired by film noir title cards. 

I'm very happy with how it turned out. The teeny boxes inside the letters, the copyright credit ("Natick Pictures, Inc."), and especially that pencil lamppost—mwah! I know most people solve online now, and many paper solvers prefer pen, but the pencil just feels iconic, and appropriate for the card's throwback vibe. That lamppost was entirely Katie's creation. She was a dream to work with. Can't say enough good things about her.

Please note: I don't keep a "mailing list" and don't share my contributor info with anyone. And if you give by snail mail and (for some reason) don't want a thank-you card, just indicate "NO CARD." 

Again, as ever, I'm so grateful for your readership. Please know that your support means a lot to me and my family. Now on to today's puzzle... 

• • •

OK, this puzzle is kinda funny, in that its basic premise violates a basic rule of crosswords, namely that you can't have the same entry appear twice in the grid. You're not even supposed to have variants of the same word in the same word (say, JUMPED and JUMP START). But today, the puzzle flagrantly violates that rule ... for a reason! And a good one. The "double"ness is baked into the thematic concept. Double-crossers literally double-cross their victims. Conceptually, it's pretty fantastic. You gotta do some pretty weird things with the cluing to get the whole thing to work. The clues on those doubled answers are sometimes a ssttrreettcchh. The OSU mascot? How is that guy not named Bucky? Bucky the Buckeye! Whose idea was BRUTUS? BRUTUS either killed Caesar or molested Olive Oyl. There are no good BRUTUSes (Bruti?). Why would you name your mascot that? And what about this 2011 Lady Gaga song? How big a "hit" was it? Admittedly, in 2011 I was probably as un-pop savvy as I've ever been. Looks like it peaked at No. 10 on the Billboard Hot 100—definitely a "hit." But totally unknown to me. But it doesn't matter how well known the song is because if you don't know it, you can infer it from the theme, if nothing else. I guess the "Base Pairs" of the title are the "pairs" of names that double-cross the Across themers. It's kind of weird to imagine OTHELLO double-crossed by a parrot, or Caesar stabbed by the Buckeye mascot, but I'd say that's more a wacky feature than a bug. Everything about the theme is pretty ingenious. Not sure why OTHELLO is clued as the play and not the character, since it's the character who is DOUBLE-CROSSED (the character who says "I will wear my heart upon my sleeve" is actually IAGO). But ... shrug, if that's a flaw, it's a pretty minor one.

The fill was not nearly as enjoyable as the theme. A PLUSSES looks nuts with two "S"s (although the dictionary tells me this is an acceptable, if less common, plural) (21A: High marks). I'd say "PISH!" to PISH, for sure. I don't think I've ever heard it not followed by "POSH," and even then, I've barely heard it (80A: "Horsefeathers!"). I have seen EASE ON in the puzzle before, but I still don't believe it's real. You can EASE OFF a pedal, but EASE ON, er, not so much (95D: Touch lightly, as a gas pedal). A Scooby-Doo partial (!?) is never welcome ("Ruh-ROH!"). The insane clue on POP SUGAR tells you it's not exactly ready for prime time (also, not all POP has SUGAR, so the clue is bad) (76A: Certain drink + what that drink has a lot of = women's lifestyle website). Then there's SINTER, which ... what the hell? Looks like a typo for SINNER. Or WINTER. First time I've ever seen this alleged "word" (83A: Combine using heat without melting, as particles). 

I also had no idea there was a place called SESAME PLACE (18A: Theme park with attractions like The Count's Splash Castle and Oscar's Rusty Rotten Rockets). I had SESAME WORLD in there for a bit. It's a better name, frankly. SESAME PLACE just kinda dies. Not exciting at all. Where the hell is this so-called "Place"? Huh, looks like there are two of them now: the original in Philadelphia (since 1980), and another in San Diego (as of 2022). So it's real. Not enjoyable to me, but real. HAS A BEEF may as well be HAS A BEEF SANDWICH for how standalone-worthy it is (not very) (81D: Disagrees (with)). And there are at least four (4!) fantasy/scifi answers in the grid. Lord of the Rings characters, not my thing (77D: Elf portrayed by Cate Blanchett in "The Fellowship of the Ring" = GALADRIEL). There's also all the short gunk I haven't even mentioned yet (ESSE NAM ALAI ATS OSS AMA SLR CFO NYS SGTMAJ NOLI etc. etc.). But gunk aside, most of my dislike for the fill is a matter of my own ignorance and also my own (dis)taste. And some of it was actually pretty good. "STOP IT, YOU TWO!," for instance (22A: "That's enough bickering!"). Or "IT'LL BE FUN" (2D: "Come on and let loose for a while!"). Or LATE BLOOMERS (109A: They'll get there eventually). If the fill took the overall quality of the puzzle down, it didn't take it down much. I still think this is one of the better Sundays I've seen in recent months—a good Sunday theme concept is a rare and valuable thing. 

The SINTER / POP SUGAR / GALADRIEL area (i.e. the SE) was the only part that threatened to derail me. Got a little anxious there for a bit. Oh, I also didn't really know SET. As a mythological figure, he kind of rang a bell, but I definitely needed every cross to be sure. PAOLO v. PAULO (43A: ___ Veronese, "The Wedding at Cana" painter) was interesting there for a bit, before I figured out TOTEM (39D: Where idols go head-to-head?). Then there was the large, literal kealoa* at 15D: Hawaiian for "long mountain" (MAUNA LOA). I was lucky enough to know the Greek word TELOS (39A: Ultimate end, to Aristotle), as well as the word AIT (small island in river or lake—chiefly British; learned it from crosswords) (44D: British isle). Without those two answers, that LOA / PAOLO / TOTEM section could very well have been a disaster. 

Bullets:

• 25A: Sci-fi protagonist who says "I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life" (NEO) — one of the many sci-fi/fantasy figures populating the grid today (joining the elf and the EWOKS and ALF). Not sure how I feel about the cross-reference with Morpheus today (28A: Morpheus, to 25-Across = MENTOR). With the theme being all about the relationship between people in the grid, something about having an additional, non-thematic pairing of people in the grid felt like static. Interference. Static interference. You know what I mean. Or you don't. Which is fine.
• 45A: Queen ___ Land (region of Antarctica claimed by Norway) (MAUD) — pfft, no idea. Absolutely none. Considered Queen MAUI Land before I double-checked the clue and saw "Antarctica" and "Norway" in there.
• 49A: With warts and all (AS IS) — first, you don't need the "With," not sure what it's doing here. Second, I had A TO Z here at first. Something about the "all" made me think of "the whole shebang," "all of it," "everything ... from A TO Z!"

• 19D: Poe's "The Narrative of Arthur Gordon ___" (PYM) — I knew this. How did I know this? I couldn't tell you anything about this story. Sometimes you just get lucky. There's also a Barbara PYM. I also couldn't tell you anything about her (except that she's an author).
• 84D: Ixnays from Irkutsk (NYETS) — I don't know what kind of alliteration or sing-songiness this clue was trying for, but I think it misses. Luckily, it misses wildly, and wackily, which makes me love it. Good effort! Nice hustle! You'll get 'em next time!

That's all for today. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

**kealoa = a pair of words (normally short, common answers) that can be clued identically and that share at least one letter in common (in the same position). These are answers you can't just fill in quickly because two or more answers are viable, Even With One or More Letters In Place. From the classic [Mauna ___] KEA/LOA conundrum. See also, e.g. [Heaps] => ATON or ALOT, ["Git!"] => "SHOO" or "SCAT," etc.    

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd]
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Rapper with the 2022 hit "Big Energy" / SAT 12-13-25 / Board of creatives? / Orangutan, by another name / Connect to the internet via mobile hotspot, as a device / Harbor bobber / Pitch, roll and ___ (rotations along the three-dimensional axes) / Actress Birch of "Hocus Pocus"

Constructor: Gene Louise De Vera

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: ONE OF EVERYTHING (48A: Gluttonous request ... or what this puzzle has vis-à-vis the possible answer lengths?) — there is at least one answer of every possible length, 3 to 15 letters, in this puzzle:

Word of the Day: LATTO (41D: Rapper with the 2022 hit "Big Energy") —

Alyssa Michelle Stephens (born December 22, 1998), known professionally as Latto (formerly known as Mulatto), is an American rapper and singer from Atlanta. She first appeared on Jermaine Dupri's reality television series The Rap Game in 2016, where she was known as Miss Mulatto and won the show's first season, but rejected its award of a recording contract with Dupri's So So Def Recordings. [...] After a name change to Latto, she reached wider mainstream recognition after the release of her 2021 single, "Big Energy." The song peaked at number three on the Billboard Hot 100, received triple platinum certification by the RIAA, and landed at number seven on the Year-End Hot 100 chart; its live performance was nominated for Best Melodic Rap Performance, while Latto herself was nominated for Best New Artist at the 65th Annual Grammy Awards. [...] In May 2021, she confirmed in various interviews that she had officially settled on a new stage name after scrutiny for the racially charged nature of her name. On May 18, it was reported that on streaming platforms, Mulatto's name had been changed to simply Latto, a change first reflected on her guest appearance on Toosii's album Thank You for Believing, where she was credited as Latto. She released a new single titled "The Biggest" along with the announcement of her new name.^[26] On September 24 of the same year, Latto released the lead single from her then-upcoming second studio album, "Big Energy". The song became Latto's highest charting song on the Billboard Hot 100 peaking at number three. American singer Mariah Carey appeared on the official remix, which was released in March 2022.

• • •

Not a fan of themed puzzles on Fri or Sat, but as themes go, this isn't much of one. There's basically one theme answer (the "revealer"). Otherwise, the "theme" doesn't affect grid content at all, only answer length. I like the phrase "ONE OF EVERYTHING!" on its own, but the fact that there are all possible answer lengths in the grid ... shrug. Is this hard to do? Is it a first? Do I care? The answer to that last one is, definitely no. I NOT DO care. I also NOT DO care for NOT DO and some of the other, smaller bits of fill in this thing. ARD, for instance. Oof. ARD. Just look at it. Keep looking. You can't do it, can you? You turn away instinctively from the horror. The horror of ARD. ARD-horror. "NO I don't! I NOT DO that!" Yes, you do. Don't lie. Luckily, the marquee fill (i.e. all the stuff around the perimeter) is good. Good to very good. I especially like the BAD BREATH emanating from CURRIED CRAB, which itself is lying on a bed of FOOD ADDITIVES. Basically a CURRIED CRAB sandwich with terrible bread (terrible irl, not terrible as crossword answers). Can't say I'm a fan of CORPORATE GREED (in any context), but GET THE MEMO and FASHION ICONS keep that side of the grid strong. On the other side of the grid, one big issue: the way the clue is written (11D: "Remember ..."), with the ellipsis implying more to come, strongly implies that the answer is going to be BEAR THIS IN MIND, the "THIS" being the thing you are about to say (after you say "Remember ..."). I had PALETTE in there and tore it out because BEAR THIS IN MIND seemed so right. But then I got nowhere. And then realized that "THIS" could be "THAT." And that was THAT. But THAT was not something I was happy about. So it's a mixed bag today, but I sort of liked the non-theme theme—why not give your themeless a little zip, a little sassiness, a little unexpected glitter. As long as it doesn't go Full Theme on me, I think it's fine. I guess you could quibble with ONE OF EVERYTHING, in that there's technically more than one of most answer lengths, but there's no need to be hyper-literal about it.

Only one real mystery today, and that was LATTO, a name I saw the first time ... just now. Kinda surprised that I've never seen it (or don't remember seeing it) and also that it's never been in the crossword before. It's probably been in some crossword, but not the NYTXW. That is a name that wants to be in crosswords. Whether you want it to be in crosswords is another question entirely. Her fame seems legit but fairly recent and semi-marginal. Not exactly CARDI B or NICKI MINAJ or LIZZO levels of cultural penetration (though she did open for LIZZO at one point, wikipedia tells me, so she's LIZZO-adjacent. If you don't know who LIZZO is, this news won't be helpful or reassuring). The fact that her name is a shortening of "mulatto" ... is probably what allows it to appear in the NYTXW. Doubt MULATTO (for obvious reasons) has ever been an answer. [Whoa, I am wrong about that—four appearances, including once under Shortz in 2014; before that, it had been 41 years! And before that, another 29 years—back to 1944, when MULATTO was clued as [Half-breed] (!!!!!?!)]. I can't say that I thought LATTO was NEATO (never feels great to have a series of letters you've never seen before and have to take it on faith that it's right), but as long as it doesn't wreck my solve, I do like learning about parts of the cultural landscape I'm completely ignorant of. 

If nothing else, I will remember this puzzle for its POCO DONGS. POCO DONGS is giving me life. It answers the question: "Will there be a lot of DONGS?" As in the following imagined scenario: "Will there be a lot of DONGS at this party?" "Qué?" "Mucho DONGS? Will there be mucho DONGS?" "No. POCO. POCO DONGS, señor." I don't know in what context you'd ask such a question, or why you're asking the question to a native Spanish speaker. But that's the beauty of POCO DONGS—its shimmering ambiguity. Its thusness. Its jenesaisquoi. All I know is I've never been happier to change an answer than when I changed DINGS to DONGS. Because of POCO. POCO gave me DONGS. POCO DONGS. Q.E.D. A rap name. A band name. The universe.

Bullets:

• 29A: Connect to the internet via mobile hotspot, as a device (TETHER) — forgot this was a thing. Had the -ET and kept wanting GET-something, like GET ONLINE or GET WIFI or GET LTE or god knows what.
• 1D: Harbor bobber (BUOY) — an absolute gimme at 1D, one that immediately got me GARY (14A: City SE of Chicago), and set me up nicely to get BAD BREATH (1A: Possible turnoff on a first date).
• 5D: Orangutan, by another name (RED APE) — but does he smell as sweet? I don't "like" RED APE but I like imagining Letter Man swooping in and taking the "T" from RED TAPE, thus transforming the RED TAPE into a RED APE.  

• 9D: Order at a restaurant (HAVE) — as in "I'll HAVE the CURRIED CRAB." This one was tough for me. I was looking for a specific order (HAKE? Is that a food fish, HAKE?) or else a command ("HIKE!" "HALT!" "HERE! Over HERE! Garçon! "L'addition, s'il vous plait.")
• 17D: School viewing? (SNORKELING) — speaking of HAKE (?), I wanted this clue to have something to do with fish ("School" + "?" pretty much screams "fish!"), and I was right, but it didn't help me much initially. Needed many crosses.
• 28D: Pot user? (EELER) — thought we'd be moving away from fish by now, but apparently not. EELER made me laugh because it reminds me of [Hagfish lookalikes] from yesterday. The puzzle simply cannot lay off the eels and the eel pots and the eeling. EELER is a word you'll see only in crosswords. Did you know an EELER is also called a "sniggler." If you solved crosswords in prehistoric times, as I did, then you definitely knew that. [Sniggler] and [Conger catcher] have always been the most common clues for EELER. And I knew EELERs used pots because guess what—EEL POT has been an answer on multiple occasions. Not recently, probably, but back in the day for sure. Hmm, actually there was a 16-year cessation in EEL POT appearances between 1990 and 2006 (the EEL POT Gap, they call it*). But now it's back to being about as common as it ever was, i.e. uncommon, but, you know, a once-every-few-years type of answer (last EELPOT sighting = 2020).
• 50D: Pitch, roll and ___ (rotations along the three-dimensional axes) (YAW) — this is what you do if you catch on fire at sea. All the little pirate children learn to pitch, roll & YAW! It's basic nautical safety.

Time for more 🌲🐈Holiday Pet Pics🐕🌲. (Please note: I cannot accept any more pet pics this year. I adore them, but I've got more than enough for this year, for sure)

First up is Max on his holiday blanket in front of the fire. Max is always cold. I want to zip MAX up into my winter coat and carry him around all winter.

[Thanks, Edward!]

Here we see Flora miraculously surviving her encounter with a Yeti (a Yeti named Popcorn—which is a children's book title if ever there was one):

[Thanks, Kathryn!]

Coco's just happy she didn't get cropped out of this photo. Don't mind Coco. She'll just lie flat so she doesn't block the tree. She just wants to be a small part of the photo shoot. She won't be much trouble.

[Thanks, Kristi]

Next is Mel (short for "Caramel"), seen here plotting his path of destruction through the Christmas tree landscape. No ornaments will survive. Mel's owner Randy says: "He was a "foster fail," meaning that we were just supposed to foster him for the Humane Society for a few weeks until he was old enough to be neutered and then put up for adoption.  But we couldn't let him go.  His favorite holiday activity is stomping through the Christmas village like Godzilla in Tokyo." Happy stomping, Mel!

[Thanks, Randy!]

And we'll close today with a couple of cat duos. First there's Basko and Ping Pong, who are freaked out by and probably eventually going to murder this freaky little animatronic Santa (you have my blessing, kitties):

[Thanks, Andrew!]

And finally there's Streak & Freckles, a feline folk duo (I assume, with that name) who are also gift-wrapping enthusiasts. Skilled artisans. Very few cats are able to wrap a present from inside the wrapping paper, but these cats know what they're doing.

[Thanks, Carole!]

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

*they do not call it that

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd]
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Horatian work of ca. 18 B.C. / THU 8-14-25 / Molecule that stores energy in the body, in brief / Larrup / Result of a scandal going viral, in brief / ["Let's go with 'Nickname's the Same' for $400"] Bruce Springsteen, Lance Armstrong and Melissa McCarthy in a 2016 comedy / A winning scenario in a best-of-three game / Hasbro word game that comes with a 60-second hourglass / Pre-med track precursor, in brief

Constructor: Gene Louise De Vera

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: IN JEOPARDY (62A: At risk ... or where one. might hear the clue-and-answer pairs at 17-, 23-, 39-, 41- and 53-Across?) — well-known interrogative phrases are clued as if they were the answers to Jeopardy! questions (or, questions to Jeopardy! answers, if you like):

Theme answers:

• "WHAT IS LOVE?" (17A: ["I'll take 'Tennis' for $200, Ken"] It means nothing) ("WHAT IS LOVE" is a song by Haddaway, LOVE is of course "nothing" (zero) in tennis)
• "WHO'S THE BOSS?" (23A: ["Let's go with 'Nickname's the Same' for $400"] Bruce Springsteen, Lance Armstrong and Melissa McCarthy in a 2016 comedy) ("WHO'S THE BOSS" was a sitcom, THE BOSS is the nickname of everyone listed there)
• "WHAT'S UP?" (39A: ["Give me 'The Academy' for $600"] This was only the second animated film to be nominated for Best Picture, after "Beauty and the Beast") ("WHAT'S UP?" is just a common question, UP is a movie with a dog and a balloon and Ed Asner)
• WHO'S WHO (41A: ["How about 'Sports and Comedy' for $800]) He was on first base, per Abbott and Costello) (a WHO'S WHO is a list of important people, WHO ... is on first, per a famous Abbott and Costello routine)
• "WHAT'S THE TEA?" (53A: ["I'll try 'Painted Ladies' for $1000"] This piece by Impressionist Mary Cassatt shows two women enjoying a drink) (“WHAT’S THE TEA?” means “what news/gossip do you have to share?” and THE TEA is a painting by Cassatt (see below))

Word of the Day: THE TEA (see 53A) —

The Tea, also referred to as Five O'Clock Tea, is an oil-on-canvas painting of two women having tea by the American Impressionist painter Mary Cassatt. The role of gender in the painting has been the subject of differing interpretations among art historians. Griselda Pollock describes the confined interior as an evocation of the spatial and social constraints placed on women at the time. Norma Broude asks whether the work might contain "possibilities for empowerment," showing the agency that women exercised through sociability. And John Loughery argues that the intention behind Cassatt's work might always remain a mystery. // Art historians and feminist scholars such as Broude emphasize that Cassatt's work must be viewed within the context of her time. Cassatt's work reflects the fact that she did not have the same access to the public sphere as her male counterparts. While male artists were able to explore busy streets, music halls, cafes, and travel, Cassatt's experiences were limited to the domestic sphere, therefore, also limiting her choice of subjects. (wikipedia)

• • •

ATP at 1-Across? Why? It's terrible fill, and not just because I can never remember this "molecule" initialism, even though I've seen it at least once before. Adenosine Triphosphate. Give me the American Tennis Professionals meaning of this answer every time, or, even better, never give me this answer again, it's bad. That "P," crossing the somewhat-hard-to-parse PRDISASTER (more initials there at the front) (3D: Result of a scandal going viral, in brief), made the opening part of this solve kind of awkward. But not nearly as awkward as the clue on WHO'S THE BOSS?, which I still don't understand. Obviously, Bruce Springsteen is "The Boss," but why does the clue keep going? Lance Armstrong? Melissa McCarthy? 2016 comedy?? It's really Lance Armstrong that's throwing me here. I assume Melissa McCarthy was in some comedy I've never heard of called The Boss ... [searches] ... yep, there we go. 

Not familiar to me at all, but that's OK. Still ... what is Lance Armstrong doing in this clue??? Did people really call him The Boss???? LOL did he not know that nickname was taken. On his wikipedia page, among his listed nicknames is "Le Boss," which is funnier than "The Boss," and kind of invalidates the clue. Also, why would you want a disgraced fraud of an athlete in your puzzle? He's not TULSI Gabbard-bad (see yesterday), but still, his is not a name that's enjoyable to remember. The way that clue had to stretch into obscurity, reaching beyond Bruce into nonsense, really made things confusing for me. I do like the basic premise, even though I am not the Jeopardy! fan that so many crossword solvers are and certainly haven't watched it at all since Trebek died. 

There are three little problems with the theme execution though

• All the themers are, in their surface meanings, legit questions ... except WHO'S WHO, which is not a question at all. A WHO'S WHO is a list of famous people or standouts in a particular field. It's a noun.
• The revealer is anticlimactic; you read one theme clue and you know what TV show you're dealing with
• The second part of the revealer clue reads "where one might hear the clue-and-answer pairs," and the answer to that is ON JEOPARDY!, not IN it. When talking about TV shows, you say "I saw it on..." "I heard it on..." 

["I Lost On Jeopardy!"]

Further, I've never heard the question "WHAT'S THE TEA?" I know that TEA is slang for gossip, and I've heard of the related expression "spill the tea," but just ... "WHAT'S THE TEA?" I'm sure someone says it somewhere, but to my ear, it clanks. I did enjoy learning about the Mary Cassatt painting, though. It's fun that there are two dimensions to every themer: the answer as a whole (which, as a well-known thing unto itself, is unclued), and then the Jeopardy! part of the answer (LOVE, THE BOSS, UP, etc.), which is clued. Does everyone know what "WHAT IS LOVE?" is?? That seems niche to me, although if you watched SNL at a certain point in its run, you definitely heard it a lot.

[Haddaway]

The long Downs were solid today, though that clue on TWO FOR TWO was unnecessarily confusing. Why bring "three" into it? You would not use the phrase TWO FOR TWO if you were in a best-two-out-of-three situation. TWO FOR TWO is a just a regular phrase for taking two attempts (at whatever) and being successful. In baseball, a batter might be TWO FOR TWO with two RBIs, a walk, and a stolen base, say. A basketball player might go 2-for-2 from the free throw line. The answer phrase and the clue phrase just don't go together. The fill gets ugly in places: HHS next to OOH through ORTHO (which I had as OSTEO???) under THAR under ONS crossing E!NEWS—not  a very pretty stretch. ATP SHOO WHAP (!?) ODO USH ASEA AERO INST ... really rough around the edges. I liked seeing ARS POETICA in its full splendor (and not just as a sad partial clue for ARS). PR DISASTER is actually a very strong entry. And BANG-UP JOB is ... doing one (33D: Incredible work).

Bullet points:

• 48D: Larrup (WHAP) — I'll take "Words No One Uses for $6, Alex." I've seen "Larrup" before, but only (only) in crossword clues. And WHAP? That's not a word, that's a sound effect.

• 31A: Bubbles, e.g. (ORBS) — this took me an embarrassingly long time (i.e. more than one pass). Thought it might be a verb for a bit.
• 45D: Terrifying device for a field mouse (RAT TRAP) — me: "why is mouse in the clue for RAT TRAP?" Me later: "Oh, they were trying to do one of those rhyming-consecutive-clues things that so rarely work out [see 42D: Terrifying sound for a field mouse], no wonder this clue is awkward."

That's all. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld]

P.S. I told you yesterday (ELWES!) that I was gonna watch THE CAT’S MEOW (2001) and just so you know I’m a man of my word …

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd (🍿NEW🍿)]
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