Unofficial 1984 Olympics anthem / SAT 10-7-23 / Pou ___ (vantage point) / One who's served admirally? / Detective in high-grossing films of 1984, 1987 and 1994 / Weapon now known as an LGM-118 Peacekeeper / Liquor brand in a blue bottle / Neighborhood near Tarzana / Heroine in a legendary franchise

Constructor: Alex Vratsanos

Relative difficulty: Medium to Medium-Challenging

THEME: none 

Word of the Day: pou STO (55D: Pou ___ (vantage point)) —

: a standing place or vantage point : BASE, BASIS // Etymology: Greek pou stō where I may stand; from a statement attributed (in various forms) to Archimedes, "Give me a place to stand (literally, where I may stand) and I will move the earth" (merriam-webster.com)

• • •

The grid looks pretty nice, but solving this was a slog. Lots of trivia and lots of trying-*very*-hard clues. What they're trying *very* hard to do is be clever and misleading, and while they mostly succeed on the latter point, the former point ... I dunno. Sometimes, maybe. Like, OK, Sigourney Weaver was in the movie ALIENS so [Weaver's work?] was cute, but [Swing state?] for MOOD? Er... I get that you are punning on "mood swings" here, but the swing itself is not a "state" so ... it seems like MOOD is what you're in before or after the swing. Like, with mood swings, there's MOODs on either end, and a swing between, so the clue seems inherently contradictory somehow. Maybe the idea is that you swing ... from one of these states (MOOD) into this another one of these states (another MOOD)? The tightness and electoral misdirection of the surface meaning of the clue must've been too irresistible. I just think it's a bad clue for MOOD. Also, the clue on PIZZA BOX seems to be getting away with lots of shenanigans just to make its "math" "joke." "Perfect" is doing a lot of work. A regular-ass square shape is what a PIZZA BOX is. Also, "circumference," yeesh. You don't just put the "circumference" of your (pizza) pie in the box, you put the whole-ass pizza in there. Did you just order the crust? "One pizza, hold all SAUCE, cheese, toppings ... nothing in the center at all ... that's right ... yes, I know that's just the crust, is that a problem?" This clue needed at least a "?" It's way too ornate. Again, I bet you had fun with it, but as a crossword clue, it's ungainly. 

The worst of the ?" clues, for me, was the one on NAVY VET (44A: One who's served admirally?), for two reasons. Well, maybe more, let's see. Well, the first problem here is actually structural, which is to say that the answer runs through a choke point, one of these exceedingly narrow passageways (one letter wide), and the answer breaks precisely at the choke point, so I got NAVY and then ... no idea, and no way to get into that back half because it's in an entirely different section of the puzzle. The one cross I might've gotten there (the "V") could've been a "G" "O" or "V" (GEENA, OSSIE, or VIOLA—The Three-Davis Problem) (45D: Davis of film). So it's a frustrating answer to begin with, clue aside, because of where the answer breaks in the grid. But then there's the clue, and ... sigh. OK, "who's" is the problem here. That apostrophe is a cheap trick, in that it makes it seem like "who's" mean "who is," but the clue really means "who has," Past Tense, but you'd just never punctuate it that way if you wanted to be clear. Never ever. It's not a plausible punctuation in this case for "who has." So you clunkily hide the past tense, which means VET ... no chance. NAVYMAN was my only guess there. Seemed awfully gendered, but at least "I'm a NAVY MAN" seemed like a thing someone might say. "Served admirally," groan. These ornate misdirections and "?" clues Have To Land Perfectly. Otherwise it's just Eyeroll City. 

It's too bad the cluing was trying so hard (and awkwardly) to be hard because, as I say, the grid itself looks nice. The NW is particularly vibrant, what with those "X"s and then the "Q" in the MOSQUE (not TEMPLE, my first guess) (6D: House of worship), and the "Z" in the twisty HEDGE MAZE (1A: Plot development with twists?), and the surprising three-consonant opening of MXMISSILE (16A: Weapon now known as an LGM-118 Peacekeeper). And the opposite corner isn't bad either, with IN THE WEEDS and ECHOLOCATE forming a nice long pairing (the one part of the puzzle that felt more whoosh than slog). I got stuck a bunch while solving, but I was at my stuckiest in the NE, where OUTLIER nearly killed me (26A: Anomalous figure). That "O" ... I wanted ODD-something. ODD DUCK at first. The fact that "O"-starting ODD and "Anomalous" are synonyms really messed me up. Even after I got -IER at the end, I could not see how I could make a word. O---IER seemed impossible. Really felt dumb when the answer ended up being something as simple as OUTLIER. Flummoxed by the punctuation on A dot 1 dot in 20D: A.1., for one, so the steak SAUCE neeeeever occurred to me. Wanted the SHORT in SHORT HAIR but that seemed way too generic a trait to be a "breed," so I balked. So, no access to the NE corner. Had to jump in there and get answers from scratch, no crosses. Mostly failed, but somehow knew SKYY immediately (13D: Liquor brand in a blue bottle). Didn't help at first, until *finally* the [Unofficial 1984 Olympics anthem] came to me. Those Olympics were held in Los Angeles, and so ... Randy Newman's "I LOVE L.A." ("We love it!").  Once Randy went in, I was HOME(Y) free.

The puzzle leans into crosswordese in unpleasant ways. STO is very nearly fatal. Like ... it's about the worst piece of crosswordese I have Ever seen, and I haven't seen it in years, for precisely this reason. No one's touching it. It's awful and arcane and did I mention awful? You never see POU in a puzzle. You never see POUSTO in a puzzle. But STO? Dear lord. Every constructor knows this "word" because your constructing software will be like "hey, STO works great here, if you use STO, this corner you've been struggling with for hours will magically come out great." It's a trap. It's the equivalent of selling your first-born. You do not give in to the STO voices. Ever. STO makes DORY look scintillating. STO makes LOTSO (?) seem almost real. STO makes CHANCE THA ICHOR seem like a cool hip-hop moniker. Maybe STO is here to make all the other junk look good? I don't know why STO is here, but the moral of the story is, STO shouldn't be here. STO shouldn't be anywhere. Say no to the STO. For the love of god. Please. 

EFS because there are two "F"s in "Puff" (5D: Puff pieces?). ELOPE because that's when the marriage "service" is performed in "secret" (24D: Employ the secret service?). HAMM because ... well, I have no idea what Million Dollar Arm is, but I've been watching the new season of "The Morning Show," where Jon HAMM has a feature role as a "what if Elon Musk were socially adept and dreamy-looking?" character, so ... actor Jon in four letters—no problem (1D: Jon of Disney's "Million Dollar Arm"). Oh, and AXEL FOLEY was the detective in the Beverly Hills Cop franchise (14A: Detective in high-grossing films of 1984, 1987 and 1994). See you tomorrow.  

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld  

P.S. my friend, crossword constructor Rachel Fabi (with whom I sometimes solve cryptic crosswords on Twitch), is participating in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's "Out of the Darkness" walk today in Syracuse, helping to raise money for suicide prevention in Central New York. She's pretty close to her fundraising goal this morning. I'm pretty sure this group can put her over, no problem. Please support her if you can. Here's the link. Thanks.

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Super-hoppy craft brew / WED 7-21-21 / Raucous music style similar to boogie-woogie / The titular Nelsons of a classic sitcom

Constructor: Alex Vratsanos

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging??? (no idea, honestly)

THEME: Double "Z"s (!?) — looks like there are four answers that contain double-Z words, and then this weird thing in the middle where two single "Z"s are left unchecked (i.e. without crosses), each of which appears to be nestled in one of the crooks of a large black-square "Z" formation, although I'm not certain it's actually a "Z" (more below). This is basically a high word-count themeless with some "ZZ" answers and some "Z"-ish architectural stuff in the middle :

The 'ZZ's:

• GRIZZLED VETERAN (14A: Old pro)
• BARRELHOUSE JAZZ (17A: Raucous music style similar to boogie-woogie)
• OZZIE AND HARRIET (53A: The titular Nelsons of a classic sitcom)
• NEAPOLITAN PIZZA (60A: Dish with tomatoes and mozzarella)

Word of the Day: BARRELHOUSE JAZZ (17A) —

Definition of barrelhouse

1

: a cheap drinking and usually dancing establishment

2: a strident, uninhibited, and forcefully rhythmic style of jazz or blues (merriam-webster.com)

• • •

OZZIE AND HARRIET

Neither fish nor fowl. Betwixt and between. A hybrid something-or-other. Felt like a cheap sneak-themeless. It's honestly just a couple of stacked 15s where those 15s contain "ZZ's, but honestly if you have a massive wordlist, your software can find such answers really easily and you can just test them out, and stacking just two 15s is not hard, and none of the "ZZ"-containing words are particularly interesting (JAZZ? PIZZA?). So you've got an oddly "ZZ"-restricted themeless puzzle, pretty much, with a high word count (unlike regular Fri/Sat themelesses, which have to be 72 answers or fewer), so we have to endure a Lot of not-great short fill. Then there's this business in the center, which is, frankly, a confused mess. You have two "Z"s again, but this time the "Z"s are alone—really alone—they're unchecked (i.e. uncrossed). I guess the idea is that the overall "Z" theme is supposed to act as a check, but in reality, LAPAZ and ZONES are really easy answers to get, so the uncheckedness is just weird; it's not really a significant puzzle element. And then there's the black-square "Z," which looks more like a "2" than a "Z," and maybe (??) this is the point, or part of the overall visual strategy, since there are "2" "Z"s in each of the longer answers. Maybe (???) the fact that a "2" and a "Z" look alike is part of the... joke? But I don't exactly get how all this "Z"-ish business in the center relates to the (mere) four "ZZ" words in the (basically themeless) grid. And if the black-square image is a "Z," don't you then have three "Z"s in the middle of the grid (the two unchecked letters plus the black-square image)??? And how is that relevant? The only thing three "Z"s signifies is sleep. I'm sure the NYTXW's house blog has "constructor notes" to explain (i.e. attempt to rationalize) all this, but honestly, if it needs explanation, the "theme" isn't working. The longer answers on their own are all fine, sometimes interesting, but this is a rather weak (and mildly confusing) attempt to thematize an essentially themeless puzzle.

I think the long Downs are actually the most interesting thing going on in the grid today. I've never heard of ORANGELOS (just TANGELOS) (2D: Hybrid citrus fruits), and I've definitely never seen MNEMONIZE (does it rhyme with "demonize" or "lemon eyes"?) (33D: Make easier to recite, as the Great Lakes via HOMES), but they are colorful and interesting answers that were not terribly hard to infer from crosses, and their partners (BIRCH BARK and SEA BREEZE) are no slouches either. TRIPLE IPA and DEJECTION also give the puzzle some non-thematic life. So, insofar as the grid shape allowed those answers to come into being, it was not all bad. But TERAOHM is just some overstuffed wordlist abomination, and most of the rest of the fill is short and unremarkable. 

The answer I struggled most with was BARRELHOUSE JAZZ, as I've never heard of it. I know the beer-barrel polka, but that is about as far as my barrel-related music knowledge goes. I had ALT-American at first (no idea why), so for a time I was trying to make sense of BARRET- something for that answer. The RAMONES add a nice additional musical element to the grid (37A: Seminal punk band, with "the"), but if you were going to add rock bands to your grid, you'd think (you'd really think) you might have done something with ZZ TOP. Now all I can think of is the thematic possibilities involved in ZZ TOP ... what kind of theme could that be a revealer for. We'll never know ... or, we will know, someday, please accept my ZZ TOP challenge, thank you.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld 

P.S. for those who aren't familiar, HOMES (in 33D: Make easier to recite, as the Great Lakes via HOMES) stands for Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, and Superior, and is probably the most famous mnemonic (in this country, anyway), though ROY G. BIV and "every good boy does fine" are worthy rivals.

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Sweet Rosie of old song / THU 5-23-19 / Game with maximum score of 3,333,360 / Host Allen of TV's Chopped / Gulager of old TV and film / Fictional schnauzer / Animal feared by Winston in 1984

Constructor: Alex Vratsanos

Relative difficulty: Easy (5:35)

THEME: Belaboring the point — actually FOURTEEN POINTS (59A: With 61-Across, what President Wilson proposed for a lasting peace ... or what's missing from the starred clues): well there are literally fourteen answers here for which you have to mentally supply "point" as the second word in order for them to make sense:

Theme answers:

1. PIN
2. NEEDLE
3. PLOT
4. PRESSURE
5. TIPPING
6. BALL
7. STAND
8. EXTRA
9. POWER
10. GRADE
11. BROWNIE
12. DATA 
13. WEST
14. SET

Word of the Day: Sarah ORNE Jewett (40D: Author Sarah ___ Jewett) —

Sarah Orne Jewett (September 3, 1849 – June 24, 1909) was an American novelist, short storywriter and poet, best known for her local color works set along or near the southern seacoast of Maine. Jewett is recognized as an important practitioner of American literary regionalism.

• • •

This was easy and the theme was incredibly dense, so people will be aglow from personal success and perhaps impressed by the technical achievement. These are wrong and bad feelings and you should throw them out the window because this puzzle was tedious and "theme density" is not not not, in and of itself, a good quality. It is often, as it was today, a punishing quality, as it compromises the quality of the overall fill and, if the theme is relentlessly the Same, just pummels you with its repetitiveness over and over and over. I will say that, given the theme density, the fill could've been much worse. But there I go, making excuses for CLU and ORNE etc. I should not have to do that. You wanna go dense, that grid better hold. Full stop. End of sentence. There are a few nice answers here, like CHEAT DAY (a phrase I despise, personally, but an original phrase nonetheless) and GUT PUNCH, but overall the grid is (again) choppy and the short stuff is (again) stultifying. Once I got the "point" I just went on a "point" scavenger hunt, which, let me tell you, is the saddest scavenger hunt that ever was. Point Point Point Point Point Point Point Point Point Point Point Point Point Point. Uncle! A lot of something is not a good something.


I knew ORNE and CLU and ASTA (sorry for those of you not well versed in the pantheon of crosswordese) but O'GRADY, hoo boy, what? I do not have a clue who this [Sweet Rosie of old song] is. I'm guessing we're talking very, very old song. Wow, yeah, looks like late 19th century. There are barbershop quartet versions. Here's a Bing version.


Gail O'GRADY was great on "NYPD Blue" and is still working. Just FYI. I have no idea what the clue on SWAGS means. Swag curtains? And they're called SWAGS? This "word" has appeared just once in The Entire Time I've Been Blogging (i.e. since Sep. '06). In 2010 it was clued as [Festoons], so clearly even in Crossworld there's no agreement about what the hell this thing means, so let's banish it to wherever it came from for another nine years at least. I thought the GORES might be the DOLES, which share 3/5 of the GORES' letters, so that was odd. I had the "C" and put [Homer's home] down as ITHACA, for reasons (not good ones, but sorta kinda understandable ones). Seth ROGEN appears a number of times in the new Wu Tang Clan documentary on Showtime, which I'm very much enjoying. (WUTANGCLAN has appeared once in the NYTXW, WU-TANG no times; since they are frequently colloquially referred to as just WU-TANG, please add WU-TANG to your word lists and unleash it at will, thanks).


Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. ASTA was definitely a schnauzer in the book, please stop sending me your misguided outrage, thanks

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Chess ending / TUES 2-26-18 / Say hello to / Cluster around an acorn / Formally end

Hi, everyone! It's Clare, and I'm back for another Tuesday. Feeling a bit tired from staying up late to watch the Oscars on Sunday night. Anyone watch?? Who loves Olivia Colman as much as I do? (P.S. She's an incredible actress, and everyone should know her name — go watch "Broadchurch" right now. Seriously.)

Constructor: Alex Vratsanos

Relative difficulty: Challenging

THEME: JOINT (40A: What each set of shaded letters in this puzzle represents) — The shaded sections of the puzzle are all joints, which bend in the puzzle like they do in the body.

Theme answers:

• ELBOW (as part of 1A and 3D)
• ANKLE (as part of 5A and 8D)
• HIP (as part of 9A and 13D)
• KNUCKLE (as part of 35A and 31D)
• SHOULDER (as part of 37A and 28D)
• KNEE (as part of 60A and 62D)
• WRIST (as part of 63A and 41D)
• NECK (as part of 65A and 59D)

Word of the Day: KNUT (35A: Bronze coin in the Harry Potter books)

The Knut (pronounced ca-nut) is the least valued coin in wizarding currency in Harry Potter. There are 29 Knuts in one silver Sickle, and there are 493 Knuts in one golden Galleon. Around the edge of each coin is a series of numerals which represent a serial number belonging to the Goblin that cast the coin. Witches and wizards are not averse to laborious calculations, as they can do them magically, so they do not find it inconvenient to pay for goods in Knuts, Sickles, and Galleons. One Sickle is equal to about 2 U.S. cents. (Harry Potter Wiki) 

• • •

As I was doing this puzzle on my phone, the app tried to make me quit four times. I should have taken it as a hint. I found the puzzle to be difficult — maybe the hardest since I've started this write-up on Tuesdays — and I just didn't like it. I never really got going, and I got stumped in a whole lot of places. The theme was clever and ambitious, both in the number of theme answers and in the way that they all bent, like joints do, and I appreciate the effort that went into crafting the theme of the puzzle. The theme also helped me with the solve, because, once I saw what one set of shaded boxes represented, it was pretty easy to extrapolate and get the others — helping me fill in a lot of squares. However, the theme might have been the only saving grace of the puzzle as the fill was just bleh and often nonsensical.

A lot of little things bugged me about the puzzle. Why is the clue for SHOULD at 37A, "Is obliged to"? If you're obliged to do something, it's not that you should do it; you have to do it. 36A Flight board posting felt more like it should be "etd" instead of ETA. It feels like it's more common to look at a flight board to see when your plane is leaving than when it's going to land. Also, saying MAKE ME as a response to a bully seems like a pretty good way to get your head bashed in or — at the very least — start a fight. That seems like something I'd say in a snide way to my sister, not to a bully. I asked my dad about KCAR (46A: Classic Chrysler), and he was upset about calling KCAR a classic anything. Yes, the platform made a lot of money for Chrysler, and the cars are decades old, but they went from zero to 60 in 13 to 14 seconds (I could run faster than that).

Then, there were just a whole bunch of words that felt out-of-place on a Tuesday, even weird. Like MEWS (huh?), RAITA (never heard of this before in my life, and I eat a lot of Indian food), SISAL (maybe not right for a Tuesday?), PTL Club (that was a thing?), ENSHEATHE (why isn't this just sheath?); and, UTNE, BOWE, and MINOLTA (words I've never seen on a Tuesday before, which isn't necessarily bad but did contribute to the puzzle feeling harder and the fill being more tedious).

Bullets:

• I'm thinking about learning French just to be able to do crosswords better (for example, to help me on 32A: Deux + un to get TROIS and 42A: Entr' to get ACTE)
• Harry Potter reference!! I'm pumped. It also blew my mind when I Googled "KNUT" and found out that it's pronounced ca-nut. I've been saying it wrong my whole life.
• Thank you, law school, for helping me get WRIT and LIEN. I appreciate it.
• I'm getting really sick of seeing the NRA in so many puzzles.

Rant over. Hope everyone has a wonderful Tuesday!

Signed, Clare Carroll, who has been watching Olivia Colman's acceptance speech at the Oscars on repeat since Sunday night.

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Pomerrigio follower / SAT 1-20-18 / Hop hop icon born Lisa Williamson / Blondie's maiden name / Nocturnal predators of fiction / Tony official character voice of Donald Duck / Setup for Netflix film say

Constructor: Alex Vratsanos

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: none

Word of the Day: pomeriggio (21A: Pomeriggio follower => SERA) —

SERA = evening (Italian)

• • •

Another hard puzzle today, though today was far more in line with expectations—a proper themeless puzzle that was properly tough. Finished in less time than yesterday's abomination took me, predictably. Thought the clues on this one were trying too hard to be hard/clever in many places, and some of the fill (especially proper nouns) got weird and obscure, but the big-ticket stuff looks very good, and overall I think it's a nice example of what a typical Saturday puzzle should be like: hard and occasionally humiliating but ultimately satisfying. Some of the clues were completely unintelligible to me, even after I'd solved them (see 21A: Pomeriggio follower, for example). Also, "Blondie" knowledge that goes *that* deep. That's insane. "Blondie" is super-old. Super. Old. I teach a course on Comics and this answer was a mystery to me. Got it by inference (from Betty Boop), as I'm sure most people did. With Howdy Doody also in the comic, well, you can feel this thing skewing pretty retro. Even the hip-hop reference was retro: I haven't heard of SISTER SOULJAH since the '90s (10D: Hip-hop icon born Lisa Williamson). Also, SIST*ER*!?!?! That bit stunned me. I got the answer quickly because I started with the last -AH in place, but I spelled it SISTAH SOULJAH because ... in hip-hop ... -ER to -A(H) sound / spelling change is pretty standard. See, uh, SOULJAH, for one.


Felt like there were a Ton of "?" clues, but there were just six. Three of them are quite close together in the NW, though, so I felt like I was being bombarded. I think the puzzle gets a *little* careless with proper nouns at PELLA / AMATO. The window name I've seen (25D: Big name in windows), but couldn't recall specifically (kept wanting PEALE or PEELE), and AMATO is gibberish to me (35A: Pasquale ___, baritone at the Metropolitan Opera). I thought maybe this was a new clue for ERATO. Totally feasible that neither name will be known to a solver, and only AMATO is (fairly) inferrable with that one letter missing (-MATO). Also, ANSELMO, LOL what? The only reason I got this was that my aunt lives in San ANSELMO, and Van Morrison sings a beautiful song called "Snow in San ANSELMO." "Official character voice of Donald Duck" is like a parody of an obscure clue. Like, today? Now? Is Donald Duck being voiced anywhere? Or is this in the past? You can see I'm not looking it up. It's so weird that this is a thing the puzzle thinks I might know. (Yes, he's currently Donald's voice, and apparently "Duck Tales" is on the air somewhere, I don't know). Anyway, hope you are familiar with PACHINKO (I botched the spelling there at first) (4D: Its player may have a yen for gambling) and CMA (27D: Nashville awards org.) and POLIS (23D: Sparta, e.g.) and SISTER SOULJAH or the California city San ANSELMO. Mind your names, constructors. Mind your names.


RELEASE WAIVER felt redundant (11D: Paper signed before filming begins). Heard of signing releases and signing waivers but not RELEASE WAIVERs.  SYNODAL is a word I'd be happy never to see again (see also yesterday's "appurtenance") (41A: Like certain ecclesiastical councils). I like BIG TICKET ITEM best, and I like it's clue best (12A: One taking a lot of credit, maybe?), and I like that the constructor knew enough to put the "Best" stuff right across the top of the dang grid. I was super-proud of myself that I remembered SARAI today straight away (38D: Name changed in Genesis 17:15). Less proud that I went with HAIRCUTS at 30D: Changers of locks (HAIR DYES) and thus fell in a hole that added probably a solid minute to my solving time. Pfffflert. Nothing will get you stucker longer than a wrong answer. "There is no trap so deadly as the trap you set for yourself"—Philip Marlowe, in The Long Goodbye.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Discharge as from a volcano / TUE 7-25-17 / Protective embankment / Ambient music as ignorable as interesting / Zoë Avatar / Jason's vessel / House of Elizabeth II / Variety show host 1951-71 / Ibsen's Gabler / Captain Nemo's vessel

Constructor: Alex Vratsanos

Relative difficulty: Easy (5:37)

THEME: SPREAD THE GOSPEL (61A: Evangelize ... or what this puzzle's circled squares do? — Letters in the names of the four canonical gospels are "spread" through four theme entries.

• 17A: Was loved by — MEANT THE WORLD TO
• 22A: Know-it-all — SMART ALECK
• 39A: Comment after a fortuitous happening — LUCKY ME
• 50A: Frequently going from one post to another
  — JOB HOPPING

Word of the Day: BLAIR HOUSE (51D: ___ House (Washington landmark)) —

The President's Guest House, commonly known as Blair House, is a complex of four formerly separate buildings—Blair House, Lee House, Peter Parker House, and 704 Jackson Place—located in Washington, D.C., the capital of the United States. A major interior renovation of these 19th century residences between the 1950s and 1980s resulted in their reconstitution as a single facility. The President's Guest House is one of several residences owned by the United States government for use by the President and Vice President of the United States; other such residences include the White House, Camp David, One Observatory Circle, the Presidential Townhouse, and Trowbridge House. The President's Guest House has been called "the world's most exclusive hotel" because it is primarily used to host visiting dignitaries and other guests of the president. It is larger than the White House and closed to the public. (Wikipedia)

• • •

11D: Variety show host of 1951-71

I'm going to go 32A: No holds BARRED on this one: it is my least favorite of all the puzzles I've blogged for Rex. It's not a terrible puzzle, but meh. The theme itself is kinda old fashioned, as is much of the fill (more on that later), and while it was competently executed ... if not for 20A: Zoë of "Avatar" (SALDANA) and 69A: Craft company with a 2015 I.P.O. (ETSY), I could've been solving this with my grandfather in 1982. And as much as I miss those times, and I as much as I miss him, I'd rather solve a better puzzle.

“It’s hard when you go and fight for a role, because they’re like ‘I don’t know, man, you mean, it’s like the blue girl from Avatar? ... I want to go down a different route. I feel like a little bit of an underdog because I live in space, nobody wants me here on Earth.” (Interview in The Independent)

Fill-wise ... TSK (41A: Sound of reproach). We've got our prefixes: LACTI, ALTI, TERA, and ISO. We've got BSIX (take one ADAY). We've got DSHARP crossing ESCARP (I'll bet MSHARP will be glad he ESCARPed this one). We've got ANTE, APSE, ADA, and ENO. SPEW, EEGS! HIE there, RUSSO! ABAFT, PELOSI, say the GOP Reps. I did like to see both fictional ships ARGO (25A: Jason's vessel, in myth) and NAUTILUS (35A: Captain Nemo's vessel).

66A: Family history, e.g.

Bullets:

• 4D: House of Elizabeth II (WINDSOR) — Almost exactly 100 years ago, the British Royal Family changed its name from Saxe-Coburg-Gotha to Windsor.
• 23D: What gives you the right to bare arms? (TANK TOP) — Not in Congress, apparently.
• 9D: Nuisance in an online comments section (TROLL) — Don't be one. 

Signed, Laura Braunstein, Sorceress of CrossWorld

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Niece's counterpart in French / TUE 6-28-16 / Mathematician whose name sounds like ship / Antarctic volcano named for place in underworld / Moniker for GErman chancellor Konrad Adenauer / Spider's web-producing organ / Decidedly non-feminist woman's group

Constructor: Alex Vratsanos

Relative difficulty: Challenging (not even close to Tuesday)

THEME: spider — some spider answers and then eight LEGs

Theme answers:

• ARACHNIDA (29A: Spider's class)
• BITE MARKS (48A: Things spiders leave)
• CHARLOTTE (22D: Spider of children's literature)
• SPINNERET (23D: Spider's web-producing organ) 

Word of the Day: SPINNERET  —

noun

Zoology

noun: spinneret; plural noun: spinnerets

1. any of a number of different organs through which the silk, gossamer, or thread of spiders, silkworms, and certain other insects is produced.

   • (in the production of man-made fibers) a cap or plate with a number of small holes through which a fiber-forming solution is forced. (google)

• • •

An inspired idea that came out just dreadful. I mean ... it's like the concept took over and no one involved with making this puzzled cared about the solver's experience any more. All technique, no joy. Fill is a disaster—an out and out, tone deaf, ridiculous vocab/proper-noun-laden Dis As Ter. That SE corner alone, jeez louise. HEHHEH?? NEVEU? Honestly, this is abusive. What could've been clever and cute if done properly on a Tuesday just gets destroyed by careless execution. Try to do too much (the legs AND the four themers AND the fact that the themers intersect) and the whole thing falls apart. I mean, SPINNERET? Come on. BITE MARKS? Arbitrary. Why does the technical fact of making four themers intersect mean ... anything? Why subject solvers to arbitrary nonsense just for some technical "feat." And KRESGE (!?) crossing EREBUS and DER ALTE and SOLTI and GALEN? ADLER crossing EDA and NEVEU (!?!!)? Some name-part (!) called GELL crossing EPICENE? ICE ... LESS????? (humans would say "ICE-FREE"). No. It's Tuesday, for ****'s sake. I guarantee you that the multiple concatenations of proper nouns and foreignisms are going to send myriad solvers crashing to the ground. Why distract from your adorable eight-legged creation with a short-fill horror show. It makes no sense.


P.S. I fell asleep before solving last night and woke up to more confused and angry puzzle-related messages / email than I've had in a good long while. OMOO OLEG ... was there some contest to cram as many short crosswordese names into a grid as possible? Because we have a winner.

P.P.S. that clue on HAREM is ridiculous (31D: Decidedly non-feminist women's group). Why is it that every time the NYT crossword touches the word "feminism," it feels like the editor both doesn't understand it and doesn't respect it?

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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Archenemy of Mattel's He-Man / SUN 11-29-15 / Decepticon's foe in Transformers / Ill-fated seducer in Tess of D'urbervilles / Olshansky first soviet-born NFL player / Little visitor to Slumbrerland in old comics / QB Bobby curse on Detroit Lions / Male lead in Disney's frozen

Constructor: Alex Vratsanos

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: "Four-Letter Words" — clues are made up of two of the "four-letter" words in the corners of the grid For Some Reason...

Theme answers:

• EXPENSE TYPE (over / head)
• BEYOND THE TIME LIMIT (over / long)
• WENT TOO FAR (over / shot)
• RECKLESSLY (head / long)
• YEARBOOK PHOTOGRAPH (head / shot)
• NOT A GOOD BET (long / shot) 

Word of the Day: Bobby LAYNE (28D: QB Bobby who purportedly put a curse on the Detroit Lions) —

Robert Lawrence "Bobby" Layne, Sr. (December 19, 1926 – December 1, 1986) was an American football quarterback who played for 15 seasons in the National Football League. He played for the Chicago Bears in 1948, the New York Bulldogs in 1949, the Detroit Lions from 1950–1958, and the Pittsburgh Steelers from 1958–1962. He was drafted by the Bears in the first round of the 1948 NFL Draft. He played college football at the University of Texas. // He was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1967 and inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame in 1968. His number, 22, has been retired by the University of Texas Longhorns and Detroit Lions. (wikipedia)

• • •

This was one of the least enjoyable Sunday puzzles I've solved in a long time, which is saying A Lot. I've seen Sunday grids that are much worse filled, but I've rarely seen a theme this thin, pointless, and radically unentertaining. What is the pleasure here? Where is the fun? I suppose you can somehow admire the construction (if you are being awfully generous), but did anyone consider the solver here—how it would feel to solve this? Where is the *payoff* for waiting for those stupid "Four-Letter Words"? What was the point? That you could do it? It makes no sense. I got through the whole thing with no idea what was going on, only to find out that I *did* know what was going on and that thing was nothing. So LONG / SHOT can be a clue? So? So can LONG / AFTER? Who. Cares? And the themers? BEYOND THE TIME LIMIT? What is that? That's a clue, not an answer. EXPENSE TYPE? Has God ever invented a duller non-answer than EXPENSE TYPE? No. No She has not.


There were a few nice moments, where I got to see answers I've never (or rarely) seen before like "EVE'S BAYOU" (totally forgot about that movie) (3D: 1997 Samuel L. Jackson film) and AUTOBOT (50A: Decepticon's foe in "Transformers") and SKELETOR! (63D: Archenemy of Mattel's He-Man) But then there was stuff I hadn't seen and didn't really care to see like ... SEA DUCK? (85A: Goldeneye or harlequin) and AGEMATES (?) (8D: Fellow students, generally) and "K"-NARK? (74D: Informer, informally) WTH is that? And then name parts like KONG and FASO and a bunch of OCA-esque crosswordese and blah blah blah ETUI TAW multiple D'OHS. Massive disappointment overall. Nothing more to say. Good night.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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Strawberry Fields benefactor / WED 4-22-15 / Cockatoo topper / No. 5 producer / Kyrgyzstan city / Hangout in Barry Manilow hit / Big part of Easter Island sculpture / Website with Write Review button

Constructor: Alex Vratsanos and Sam Ezersky

Relative difficulty: Medium (time: mid-4s)

THEME: PAIRS OF CARDS (56A: Some poker holdings … or a hint to 20-, 24-, 30-, 41- and 52-Across) — theme answers are two-word phrases where both words can precede "CARD" in a common phrase:

Theme answers:

• CREDIT REPORT (20A: Equifax offering)
• HOLE PUNCH (24A: Three-ring binder user's gadget)
• NAME CALLING (30A: Some childish insults)
• TRADING POST (41A: Place to deal in fur, once)
• HIGH SCORE (52A: Arcade achievement)

Word of the Day: TOPE (29A: Bend an elbow) —

verb

archaicliterary

1. drink alcohol to excess, especially on a regular basis. (wikipedia)

• • •

So TOPE is "archaic literary"? But, but, but crosswords made me think it was "contemporary normal." Next you'll be telling me no one says AGAPE or AGAZE or AREEL or any of the classic A-words any more. If that's the so-called Real World, you can have it. I'll TOPE til I'm AREEL, thanks very much.

[A-DRINKIN' = valid]

PAIRS OF CARDS—I feel like we need to have a talk about Revealer Aptness (RA). I keep saying this phrase out loud—PAIRS OF CARDS—and it keeps not sounding like a phrase. It's not a poker phrase. Not a stand-alone phrase, anyway. Its colloquial value is null. This is hugely disappointing, as the theme answers themselves are *tight*, which they almost neh-ehhhhhhver are in this type of puzzle (the Both-Words-Can-Precede (BWCP) type). Most BWCP puzzles leave you with at least a few improbable linkings. Two words that don't really make a Phrase, but that can, in the right (dim) light, pass for a phrase. But this set of themers doesn't have that problem at all. They are legit. All of 'em, legit. Not a wobbler in the bunch. But then comes the big finale, the big reveal, the coup de grace etc., and it's ... PAIRS OF CARDS? Again, I keep saying it. I've said it twenty times now. It does describe what the theme is, but as a revealer phrase, it's simply not worthy of this fine theme concept. It is undeniably true, on a literal level, that PAIRS OF CARDS are [Some poker holdings]. A lawyer could argue that successfully. But you don't want to have to lawyer your revealer. Your revealer should, like a fool, Represent Itself … or better yet, smartly settle out of court because its case is so ****ing good. I'm not so much mad at this puzzle as I am SAD AT this puzzle. PAIRS OF CARDS sends the whole house of cards falling to the ICE-FREE floor. [Why say the floor is ICE FREE, you ask? What's that got to do with anything? Well, along with PAIRS OF CARDS, ICE FREE was the only other answer in the grid where I just shook my head and SAID "NO."]


We've got some textbook Scrabble-****ing going on with the "J" and "X"—high-value Scrabble tiles shoved into little corners in a way that makes for harmful surrounding fill—but TOPE and UNPEGS aren't terrible prices to pay. Grid gives us lots of vivid 6s and 7s, which are crucial to maintaining a lively themed grid (that is, crucial to having liveliness be a feature that extends beyond the theme itself). I sat IN IDLE for a while before I realized I was really sitting IN A RUT (apt). I  whiffed on my first pass through the whole NW quadrant, largely because I somehow completely missed the Manilow clue (2D: Hangout in a Barry Manilow hit). 7-letter gimme and my eyes drove right past it. Sorry, Barry. PANNED 8A: Gave the thumbs-down before I SAID "NO" to it. Finished in the TOILET. [Yes, I think I'll stop right there]

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Facebook and Twitter]

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Villain in Indiana Jones Kingdom of Crystal Skull / THU 9-25-14 / Rapper who co-starred in 2002's half past dead / Russian composer Arensky / Literally northern capital / Series of watering troughs / Czech playwright who coined word robot

Constructor: Alex Vratsanos

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: Ten 3-letter body parts — Puzzle note reads: "The human body is said to have 10 three-letter body parts. All 10 of these are hidden in side Across answers in this puzzle. Can you find them all? The body parts, from left to right, top to bottom: GUM, TOE, JAW, RIB, EAR, ARM, HIP, LIP, EYE, LEG."

Word of the Day: SPALKO (46D: Villain in "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull") —

Colonel Doctor Irina Spalko was an agent of the KGB, as well as a scientist and military officer, working for the Soviet Union. She was a psychic, as well as a very skilled fencer and combatant. Spalko desired the use of the Crystal Skull of Akator to brainwash and manipulate the minds of American forces, giving the Soviets a tactical advantage in the Cold War. Her weapon of choice was a rapier. Spalko was an infamous leader, with a cruel disregard for innocent casualities and harboring a secret, selfish motivation. However, she did all this in the name of her country, and not out of pure maliciousness. As a soldier, she did only what was needed to complete the mission at hand. (Indiana Jones Wiki)

• • •

I was really, really hoping for something good today, as it is the 8th anniversary of this blog. I was psyching myself up, telling myself I was gonna enjoy it no matter what. But this puzzle … I don't even know where to start. First, it appears one's solving experience will be different depending on the medium one uses. I don't know what the "Note" looks like in the paper (I won't see that til tomorrow). I know that on the NYT website, if you just press "Play" and solve on the applet, you get the first part of the note, but have to click on "Reveal Answer" to see what the ten body parts are. But in Across Lite, the software I and many others use to solve the puzzle on our computers, the bright yellow Note symbol appears right away when you open the puzzle. And clicking on it revealed the *entire* note. So, right away, all the answers, as well as the order in which they appear (!), are revealed. The puzzle has no revealer. No title. Nothing to figure out. No surprise. We're just handed a complete explanation of everything about the structure of the puzzle—before we've even solved a single answer. But here's the thing—I can't pretend I was *that* disappointed at having the puzzle spoiled for me up front because it turns out There's Nothing To Spoil.


Let's be very clear about this. This puzzle (once completed) is a word find … with only three-letter words in it … where the answers all run Across … and we are told the order in which they appear. As I am not five years old, I have a very, very hard time seeing how this is interesting or compelling in any way, especially on a Thursday, *especially* in "the best puzzle in the world" (per the NYT's own promotional material). Even if the answers *and* their order hadn't been revealed right up front, this would've still been insultingly dull. It is a word search for morons, and the word search part is *completely and utterly* separate from the content of the grid. So you get this mediocre themeless puzzle, and then the world's simplest word find.

I'm struggling to understand how any human being involved in this puzzle's creation could've thought this would be fun (for adults) to solve. There's no cleverness. No trickery. No playfulness. Nothing required of the solver at all—well, there's filling the grid itself, which was tough, but, again, that part has Nothing to do with the theme. The puzzle is utterly meaningless without the note, and with the note it's not much better. And I retract the "mediocre themeless" comment. It's worse than mediocre. Themelesses tend to have Way more interesting answers and Way fewer SLOES and OTOES and STETs and omg it just goes on and on.  I will give this puzzle "PEACE OUT!" and that is all I will give it (4D: "Later, bro!"). It's a non-puzzle. Someone I know suggested to me just now that the childishly easy word find was a "sop" to the people who were so livid about Patrick Blindauer's "Change of Heart" puzzle two weeks ago. But I can't buy that. Just because you hated Ulysses doesn't mean you'll be appeased by Where's Waldo?.

I did find CUM and BOSOM and ANUS, though, so I'm managing to amuse myself at least. What else have we got?:

Bullets:

• 17A: Golden girl? (SACAJAWEA) — this was one of the highlights of the grid. I especially liked the clue (she appears on the golden $1 coin. I'm a bit concerned that some people will have messed up the JA RULE / CAPEK crossing. Maybe JORULE / COPEK? You don't see "R.U.R." in crosswords *nearly* as much as you used to, and thus aren't reminded nearly so much of CAPEK's name, so you'd be forgiven for forgetting (as I did). You'd also be forgiven for forgetting JA RULE, if you ever knew him in the first place. He hasn't been popular for a while. Oh, and since the U.S. Mint and all sites describing the dollar coin seem to think the "Golden girl" in question is spelled with a "G" and not a "J," you'd perhaps also be forgiven for having gone with GA RULE (or even GO RULE) as well.
• 27A: Series of watering troughs? (AEIOU) — well, if you have to have such a terrible answer in your grid, I guess the best thing you can do is give it a cool, weird-ass clue. (The letters AEIOU appear in order, and each just once, inside the phrase "watering troughs")
• 32D: Russian composer Arensky (ANTON) — never heard of him. Let's listen:

I look forward to the return of crosswords, and my enthusiasm for them, tomorrow. It's been a mostly enjoyable eight years. I think I got at least two left in me. Thanks for your readership.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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