1914 battle locale / SUN 1-31-16 / Old Southwest outlaw / Title chameleon of 2011 animated film / Bay former US base on Luzon / Pope John X's successor / Explorer for England who mistook Canada for Asia / Nomadic northerner / News sensation of 10/4/1957

Constructor: Yaakov Bendavid

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: "Message To Buyers" — theme answers are ... messages to buyers? ... notices you might in advertisements or on products you purchase ... but here, reclued wackily (with "?" clues and everything) through reimagined meanings of phrase words (underlined words, below, are given new wacky meanings in their clues):

Theme answers:

• ASSEMBLY REQUIRED (23A: Notice regarding voting in a state legislature?)
• INTEL INSIDE (34A: Sign on the N.S.A.'s entrance?)
• CONTAINS SMALL PARTS (56A: Audition caution for a movie with a cast of thousands?)
• BATTERY NOT INCLUDED (78A: Note on a watered-down assault indictment?)
• NO MONEY DOWN (97A: Offer of free pillow fill?)
• STORE IN A DRY PLACE (113A: Desert supermarket?)

Word of the Day: SUBIC Bay (10A: ___ Bay, former U.S. base on Luzon) —

Subic Bay is a bay on the west coast of the island of Luzon in Zambales, Philippines, about 100 kilometres (62 mi) northwest of Manila Bay. It is an extension of the South China Sea, and its shores were formerly the site of a major United States Navy facility named U.S. Naval Base Subic Bay, it is now the location of an industrial and commercial area known as the Subic Bay Freeport Zone under the Subic Bay Metropolitan Authority. // The bay was long recognized for its deep and protected waters, but development was slow due to lack of level terrain around the bay. (wikipedia)

• • •

It took me a while to figure out what was going on, as the coherence of the theme answers, as a set, is not immediately apparent. For instance, "INTEL INSIDE" is an ad slogan, not a "message to buyers" (any more than "Coke is It" is a message to buyers). So if you're solving from the top down ... it takes a while for the concept to become clear. And even then ... the theme is light (just six answers?) and the answers themselves are often slightly off-feeling. For instance, the most spot-on version of the first "message" is "some ASSEMBLY REQUIRED." I'm sure the some-less version exists, but it's not le phrase juste. "INTEL INSIDE," as I say, is a real outlier, as it's not a "message" at all (it's a slogan). As with the first themer, the fourth has a more classic iteration: "Batteries (plural) not included." Spielberg even made a movie with that title. And I know the last themer as "store in a cool, dry place." So, you could get a lawyer (Lionel Hutz, say (see above)) to defend the phrases as they appear in the grid, but ... you shouldn't need a lawyer.


The fill has many rough moments, and can't come close to making up for the tepid, slightly awkward theme. Stuff one should try Desperately to keep out of one's grid: LEOVI (all LEO + Roman numerals, really), SUBIC (?), KPS (plural? really?), BSED (dear lord), STOL (old-school crosswordese), EEN, OCTA, "TO SIR" (unless it's clued ["___, With Love"]), TER (106A: Thrice, in prescriptions) (er, no, never, not any more, ask a doctor—I did), etc. I was fortunate enough to end on a high note—the highest note in the puzzle, actually: MAN'S MAN! (86D: Masculine icon). Took me a while to get, and gave me a great aha moment. And it was the very last thing I put in the grid. Not much about the rest of the puzzle was very exciting. I will say that with the exception of TE AMO, it's very clean through the middle, which is impressive, as that's a good chunk of white space to handle so smoothly. Seven adjacent 6+-letter Downs in a row there from ASSIST down to RIOTER. I just realized that if BSED had been clued the way people actually *use* BSED (i.e. BS'ed), my feelings on it would've done a 180.


Here's a message from Evan Birnholz, crossword constructor for the Washington Post:

"For anyone who may have missed my earlier puzzles because they weren't available in Across Lite format, they can get all of them for a limited time. Between now and February 8, my first eight published Post puzzles will be available for download in Across Lite format at this link. After that point I'm deleting their folder, and they'll have only the previous four weeks' worth of puzzles as normal. So they'll need to download them soon if they want them."

Evan is doing a great job over there. In just the past month, I've had two Pulitzer-winning writers tell me how impressed they've been with his work. I'm not sure what their having Pulitzers has to do with their puzzle judgment, but I thought I'd just drop that factoid in there as if it meant something. I hope you enjoyed it.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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Screenwriting guru Field / SUN 2-16-14 / TV actress Graff / Roman ruler before Caesar / Hip-hop artist with 2013 #1 album Born Sinner

Constructor: Yaakov Bendavid

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: "Passing Grades" — Fs are changed (raised?) to Ds in familiar phrases, creating wacky phrases, clued "?"-style

Theme answers:

• 23A: One who turned Cinderella's pumpkin into pumpkin cheesecake? (DAIRY GODMOTHER)
• 49A: Snorkeling bargain? (TWO DIVES FOR A TEN)
• 77A: Transportation company that skimps on safety? (NO-DRILLS AIRLINE)
• 105A: Stephen Hawking's computer-generated voice? (SCIENCE DICTION)
• 15D: Two things seen beside James Bond at a casino? (DISH AND CHIPS)
• 58D: "Oh yeah? Let's see you hold your breath for TWO minutes!," e.g.? (DARE INCREASE)

Word of the Day: SULLA (74A: Roman ruler before Caesar) —

Lucius Cornelius Sulla Felix^[1] (c. 138 BC – 78 BC), known commonly as Sulla, was a Roman general andstatesman. He had the distinction of holding the office of consul twice, as well as reviving the dictatorship. Sulla was awarded a grass crown, the most prestigious and rarest Roman military honor, during the Social War. His life was habitually included in the ancient biographical collections of leading generals and politicians, originating in the biographical compendium of famous Romans, published by Marcus Terentius Varro. In Plutarch's Parallel Lives Sulla is paired with the Spartan general and strategist Lysander.

Sulla's dictatorship came during a high point in the struggle between optimates and populares. The former sought a conservative approach to maintain the traditional oligarchic structure of power in the Republic, while the latter challenged the existing order with the avowed aim of increasing the influence of the plebs. Sulla was a gifted and skilful general and won many victories against barbarians as well as fellow Romans and Italians. One of his rivals, Gnaeus Papirius Carbo, described Sulla as having the cunning of a fox and the courage of a lion.

In a series of constitutional crises, Sulla used his armies to march on Rome twice, and after the second time he revived the office of dictator, which had not been used since the Second Punic War over a century before. He used his powers to enact a series of reforms to the Roman constitution, meant to restore the balance of power between the Senate and the tribunes. Already in poor health, he stunned the world (and posterity) by resigning his near-absolute powers, restoring constitutional government in late 81 BC. After seeking election to and holding a second consulship, he retired to private life and died shortly after. (wikipedia)

• • •

Thin. That's how I'd describe this theme. It's the simplest, most basic change-a-letter concept there is, and when you change just one letter in just six theme answers, and they're all quite long, the impact of the change (on each answer, and on one's overall impression of the puzzle) is slight. Also—major stylistic oversight—there's still a pesky "F" left in TWO DIVES FOR A TEN. As a general rule, you want your core theme concept to be not just consistent, but executed to squeaky clean perfection. If you're changing Fs to Ds, you just can't leave Fs on the table. One can shrug and say "who cares? the puns still work," or whatever, and that's true, but how low are we putting the bar for the alleged best puzzle in America, for the editor who has said out loud that he believes he's "the best in the world at what I do." There are literally infinite (plus or minus) potential theme answers for something like this. Surely there was one more out there that didn't have a stray "F."


So the theme gets a D. But the overall construction is much better, I think. Low word count means lots and lots of interesting long answers, especially in the Downs. I see lots of stuff I don't remember ever seeing before—ordinary phrases like JOB SEARCH to more exotic stuff like ORANGE OIL. The grid is very light on junk, which is nicely spread out and has next-to-no impact on the pleasure of solving (though I'll admit to groaning audibly at the very beginning, when ADES was the first thing I encountered, *and* it was crossed with a plural name: ALDAS). Difficulty-wise, there wasn't much. I think the preponderance of long answers slowed me down some (always hard to tear through lots of open white space), but there were times when I was entering answers lightning-fast. Wasn't anywhere near my record time, but at just over 10 min., I'd say the puzzle tilts a little toward the easy side.

Let's look at a few folks from today's cast of characters, since proper nouns are often the thorniest part of any given solve. Here are a few of the noteworthy names:

• ELISHA (22A: Actress Cuthbert of "24") — memorize this one, because you will see it again and again. Or at least again. I've seen it many times. She played Jack Bauer's daughter.
• J COLE (52A: Hip-hop artist with the 2013 #1 album "Born Sinner") — that #1 album thing, plus the attractive letter combo, means you're assured of seeing this name again. I think this is the second time I've seen him this year.
• BIG E (5D: Former 6'9" N.B.A.'er Hayes, to fans) — Elgin? No, that's Elgin Baylor. Who is Hayes? Well I was close: it's Elvin. Hall-of-Famer. I really should know him.
• SYD (20D: Screenwriting guru Field) — never heard of him. Never seen this SYD clue (I'm used to Barrett or Hoff). The clue appears to be yet another Wikipedia-lift. Constructors: come on. At least give the phrasing your own twist. Wikipedia is a great resource, but it's not an excuse to be lazy in your cluing. I have no idea how this guy is famous enough to be in the NYT puzzle, as I can't see as he's actually written any screenplays (though he has written books about writing them … but then I'm not doing any research beyond Wikipedia. See: lazy. It's annoying, right?)
• ILENE (91D: TV actress Graff) — sometimes hard to keep the IRENEs, ILENEs, IRINAs, ILONAs, and ELENAs straight. She was the mom on "Mr. Belvedere." 

[Try not to cringe at the "pinball fairies" joke]
Puzzle of the Week this week was a pretty easy decision. It was kind of a slow week, and then Thursday rolled around and I did a very good puzzle by Ben Tausig (his Inkwell/Chicago Reader puzzle) called "Outsourcing" (get it here free) followed immediately by a Great puzzle by Byron Walden (this week's American Values Club puzzle) called "For ABBA Fans" (get it here for a buck, though you should really already be a subscriber). No idea how Byron got so much hilarity and fun out of such a seemingly simple concept, but he did. Aces. He wins the week.

For information on the upcoming ACPT (Mar. 7-9), see the program at the tournament website, here. For information on the "Cru" dinner at the Marriott on that Friday night (Mar. 7), please visit "Diary of a Crossword Fiend."

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Dutch city near Arnhem / SUN 1-20-13 / Dead Sea Scrolls preservers / Bygone Saudi king / Lounging robes / President who was electrician by profession / Firearm company for nearly five centuries / Dennis Quaid remake of 1950 film noir

Constructor: Yaakov Bendavid

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: "All-Inspiring" — "L" sound is added to the ends of words in familiar phrases, creating wacky phrases, which are clued "?"-style

Word of the Day: EDE (40A: Dutch city near Arnhem) —

Ede (help·info) (Dutch pronunciation: [ˈeːdə]) is a municipality and a city in the center of the Netherlands, in the province of Gelderland. [...] Socially, Ede is a common city like any other in the Netherlands, with perhaps up to 40% Christian people in the city. Each year, there is a municipality-wide celebration called Heideweek (Week of the heather) which lasts a week largely involves traditional Dutch festivities, along with local customs. During the week, a Queen of the heather and a Princess of the heather are elected from several candidates and will be the representative for the municipality of Ede on various other festivities, until next year when another a new queen and princess are elected. (wikipedia)

• • •

I didn't enjoy this one much, for reasons which are oddly complicated. First of all, I'd just gotten up from a nap, which is never a good time to do anything. I usually require a good hour to get back to normal after a nap. I know they're supposed to be refreshing, and maybe they are, ultimately, but I am most likely to be in a foul mood and not thinking quite clearly directly after a nap. So there's that, as far as context goes. I found the puzzle weirdly hard, and in a way that I found off-putting. There are different kinds of difficulty, and some I like and some I don't. Today, there was this odd disconnect between the theme (simple—once you pick it up) and the fill (tough, and listing toward awkward and ugly in some places). I'm gonna go ahead and blame the remarkably open grid. There's a ton of white space here, and while that can lead to greatness in themeless puzzles or very well constructed dailies, here what results is a strained feeling—like those pen corners in particular are barely holding together. Plus the cluing is not clever but vague—give me tricky over "that could be Anything" any day of the week. The result was that the effort required did not feel commensurate with the quality of the results. My feelings about the puzzle were set early, when it took me an Eternity to get the NW corner. Both theme answers felt impossible to get from their back ends, i.e. I had WHEEL and TRAIL and even knowing the theme (which I got from GET OUT OF THE WHALE), I couldn't think of Any base phrases that could work. "...Something Whee? Wee?" Couldn't see a TRAIL as a "strategy" for some reason. And the fill in there was pretty dire. APORT (5D: Left on board) ... which differs from PORT ... somehow? ... Crosswordy LEY totally eluded me. LAICAL (1A: Like some church matters) elicited several UGHS from me (once I Finally got it). EDE = LEY, in that I've seen both before but ... nope, just not coming today. Crosswordese of a high order. RACER clue = :(  (26A: Indy entrant). Just a mess. Rest of the puzzle not nearly as tough, but rife with mediocre fill. I mean, look at the area under HEMATIC, for one arbitrary example. There's a domino effect here: partial Spanish ES SU, olde-timey BLEST, absurd and hateful E-LIST, ugsome OLEATES, and then the crutchiest of crutch answers: ESSENES (109A: Dead Sea Scrolls preservers).

Contrast that with some truly wonderful theme answers. "I TOLD YOU SOLE" is lol funny, and many of the others are very clever. One thing, though. I pronounce "W-" and "WH-" differently. This made THE ROYAL WHEEL especially rough, as WE and WHEE are simply different sounds. Also WHALE and WAIL. Different. If base phrase were "get out of the whey," then sure, GET OUT OF THE WHALE is perfect. But "get out of the whey" is not a thing (note to constructors—please do not build a wacky theme around "get out of the whey").


Theme answers:

• 23A: Prince's pottery equipment? (THE ROYAL WHEEL) — additional difficulty: what kind of "prince." Like, prince the son of a king, or Prince the musician?
• 104A: Stop proceeding in the maze when you reach the end? (DO NOT PASS GOAL) — by far the most ungainly and strange of the theme clues.
• 3D: Strategy employed by a Siberian Hansel and Gretel? (ICE CUBE TRAIL) — very nice.
• 11D: Fencing coach's pronouncement? (DUEL AS I SAY)
• 14D: Haymakers? (GREEN BALE PACKERS)
• 36D: Advice to Jonah? (GET OUT OF THE WHALE)
• 58D: "Waiter, we ordered the fish!"? ("I TOLD YOU SOLE!")
• 67D: Approach a thruway booth? (HEAD TO TOLL)

Bullets:

• 25A: Firearm company for nearly five centuries (BERETTA) — always want BARETTA ... is that the TV detective? Or am I just being influenced by "barrette"? (both, probably)
• 27A: Bygone Saudi king (FAISAL) — still can't manage to commit this guy to memory. Always want FAISAD. ASSAD must be jamming my signal. FAISAL sounds like the name of that mouse from "An American Tail."
• 32A: Lounging robes (CAFTANS) — since FABER (33D: Name on pencils) was unknown to me and ILEAC (10D: Of the lower small intestine) was highly suspect and I've never used the word "caftan" in my life, this was slightly hard.
• 106A: Det. Bonasera on "CSI: NY" (STELLA) — ... [tumbleweed goes by] ...
• 18D: Biblical figure punished for hindsight? (LOT'S WIFE) — fantastic clue / answer.
• 79D: President who was an electrician by profession (WALESA) — LECH! Former president of Poland. Founder of "Solidarity" (per wikipedia, "Soviet bloc's first independent trade union").
• 104D: Dennis Quaid remake of a 1950 film noir ("D.O.A.") — There is something horrid about this clue. That something is: everything in the clue before "1950." I mean, can you really say the Quaid version is better known? Maybe the year it came out, but now? Whereas the original "D.O.A." is a noir classic. 

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Philatelist George / SUN 6-5-11 / Ancient Cretan writing system / French river department / Biblical breastplate stones / Ike Billy OK Corral

Constructor: Yaakov Bendavid

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: "Cagey Answers" — Gs (following Ns) in familiar phrases become Ks, resulting in wacky phrases, clued "?"-style


Word of the Day: GUSSET (42A: Reinforcing bracket) —

In sewing, a gusset is a triangular or square piece of fabric inserted into a seam to add breadth or reduce stress from tight-fitting clothing. Gussets were used at the shoulders, underarms, and hems of traditional shirts and chemises made of rectangular lengths of linen to shape the garments to the body. // Gussets are used in manufacturing of modern tights or pantyhose to add breadth at the crotch seam; these gussets are often made of breathable fabrics for hygiene when wearing pantyhose without panties. (wikipedia; perhaps the first WOTD related to not wearing panties—another milestone!)

• • •

I found this one clungy, which really should be a word, perhaps to describe something that is clingy, but in a really unflattering way. But back to the puzzle: the theme is very simple, but there is not a lot of thematic payoff, and the non-theme fill is really subpar in many places. Many, many. A theme this simple needs to be perfectly consistent *and* scintillating. You Must Stick The Landing. And yet only a few of these theme answers strike me as winners; I particularly like LADY SINKS THE BLUES, though I'd have had a woman NHL player scoring a series-ending goal rather than a countess bankrupting the team. A few of the others are cute, but then there's ONE THINK AT A TIME, which is nauseatingly ungrammatical, or at least far far out of the language in its use of "THINK"; and KINK OF THE ROAD, which is just bland. But worst of all is BIG BANK THEORY. It is the one inconsistent theme answer, and its inconsistency is twofold. First, every other theme answer is -ING->-INK. To have *just one* that goes -ANG->-ANK is really annoying. Second, uh, there's a stray "G" there. In "BIG." So your title all of a sudden becomes a false ... false ... falsity (I'm channeling Norman Bates here; god I love that scene, with him and Marion and the *&%^ing stuffed birds everywhere—maybe one of the best scenes in that, or any, movie). Your Gs are Ks or they're not. Maybe, just Maybe, if every answer had been -INK, I could've forgiven that outlier. But that's for some alternative universe to know. In this universe: boo.

Theme answers:

• 24A: How organized philosophers deal with ideas? (ONE THINK AT A TIME)
  
• 30A: Highway S-curve? (KINK OF THE ROAD)
  
• 51A: Countess bankrupts St. Louis N.H.L. team? (LADY SINKS THE BLUES)
  
• 67A: Warning before driving past the town dump? (THIS MAY STINK A LITTLE)
  
• 85A: Wayne Gretzky? (THE LORD OF THE RINKS) — a pun I've seen before, specifically in a WSJ puzzle from earlier this year
  
• 103A: Being too large to fail? (BIG BANK THEORY)
  
• 116A: Singles bar pickup strategy? (A WINK AND A PRAYER)
  

Lots of Jewishish clues today, with Ehud BARAK and "Fiddler"'s YENTE, and the O.T.'s EDOM and SARAH and ONYXES (65D: Biblical breastplate stones). I had no idea about the ONYXES, but they're an important feature of the high priest's breastplate in Exodus, from what I can gather. I also had no idea about CLANTON (49D: Ike or Billy at the O.K. Corral). Not a name I recognize at all. Would've guessed CLAYTON if HEY had made any sense as an answer for 66A: Cackler (HEN). Other things I didn't know included GUSSET—never seen or heard the word before—and the you've-gotta-be-kidding-me answer of the day, LINN (70D: Philatelist George, founder of the largest weekly newspaper for stamp collectors). I was surprised to find that the Oscar-winning Frank today was not CAPRA but LLOYD (71D: Frank ___, two-time Oscar-winning director).


There was some stuff that I loved, including not one but two ampersandwiches (RANDR, XSANDOS), DUKAKIS (4D: Loser of 1988) curled up with a SPY NOVEL, and the not-heard-from-in-25-years PAM DAWBER (110A: Onetime Robin Williams co-star) (I like that the clue doesn't throw you the "Mork & Mindy" bone but forces you to use crosses to go hunting through *all* Williams's co-stars). ASTHMATIC is nice too (29A: Bronchodilator user). But there was just too much little junk. Everywhere, gunking up the system: EAN, ABRA (99D: Incantation opener), LINN, AIN (93A: French river or department), LINEARA (!?) (98A: Ancient Cretan writing system), ASOK (!!!), ADAIR, TMS, NTS, ADE, ISE, EASER (...). Etc. I do like "OH, GEE" crossing OGDEN, as "O" and "G" are the first two letters, and OGDEN seems like a place where an expression like "OH GEE" might still have some currency ("O.G." also stands for "Original Gangster," which I'm guessing there are precisely none of in OGDEN).


Bullets:

• 57A: Actor Wilson (OWEN) — FLIP!? Is it FLIP!? No? Dang.
  
• 114A: So-called Mother of Presidents (OHIO) — "Mother of Presidents" sounds almost like a slur.
  
• 119A: Flying monster of film (RODAN) — always want to spell this guy like the sculptor.
  
• 6D: Animals with black-tipped tails (STOATS) — wanted OKAPIS, which, when you think about it, makes almost zero sense. I knew STOATS were weasels, but black-tipped tails—that, I did not know.
  
• 90D: Wives in São Paulo (SENHORAS) — One of my few Portuguese gimmes.
  
• 100D: Hybrid clothing for women (SKORTS) — one of the great modern portmanteaus.
  
• 102D: Actresses Best and Purviance (EDNAS) — Purviance? Really? Let's see ... what era, what era? I'm gonna guess she was big in the '40s ... [Googling] ... whoa, off by 20 years. She was in a bunch of Chaplin films in the teens and '20s. She would have fit right in in Friday's puzzle ...
  

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

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Pacific atoll in 1943 fighting / SUN 5-23-10 / Wine city north of Lisbon / Job legislation estab 1973 / Husband of Pompeia

Constructor: Yaakov Bendavid

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: "FLIP-FLOPS" — Familiar phrases wherein a compound word has its component parts inverted, creating wacky phrases, clued "?"-style


Word of the Day: TARAWA (57A: Pacific atoll in 1943 fighting) —

Tarawa is an atoll in the central Pacific Ocean, previously the capital of the former British colony of the Gilbert and Ellice Islands. It is the location of the capital of the Republic of Kiribati, South Tarawa. The island is best known by outsiders as the site of the Battle of Tarawa during World War II. (wikipedia)

• • •

Loved the theme, though the fact that the word inversion came at the fronts of theme answers 3 and 4 and the backs of the rest threw me, and detracted a bit from the puzzle's structural elegance. I think the grid plays a little fast and loose with exotica today. I say this only *in part* because I was done in by TARAWA — before I *knew* I'd been done in, I thought to myself, "That MT. APO (34D: Philippines' highest peak: Abbr.)/ OPORTO (56A: Wine city north of Lisbon) crossing is gonna kick someone in the groin today ..." I don't think of either of those places as very well known (in the U.S.) outside of crosswords. Longtime readers of this blog will know MT. APO as "The Answer Rex Screwed Up at the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament a Couple Years Back" — I wrote in MOAPO. Long story. Anyhoo, I'm not sure how inferrable that "P" is here. Maybe very. Still, it struck me as potentially unfair. I had no way of knowing that TORAWA was wrong until I decided to make it the Word of the Day and Google said "Do you mean tarawa?" Yes, dammit, apparently I do. But HEMO is so so so so right, and way better than stupid HEMA as an answer to 38D: Blood: Prefix. Yuck. I also wasn't that thrilled with the SERO / RHEOSTAT / HEMA / STET mash-up. Aesthetically displeasing.

Theme answers:

• 23A: Where ETs do knitting and art? (ALIEN CRAFT SPACE)
  
• 34A: Thug living next to humorist Will? (MR. ROGERS HOOD NEIGHBOR) — big thumbs up for that one
  
• 46A: "Get that first down ... and don't fumble"? (HANDOFF REMARK)
  
• 67A: Watching over Warsaw's national emblem? (POLE FLAG SITTING)
  
• 88A: Waiting in line for hooch? (AT A STILL STAND)
  
• 97A: Competition among shrinks? (PSYCHOLOGICAL FARE WAR)
  
• 119A: Visitors' fair warning? (WE SHALL COME OVER)
  

My main struggle points were the above-mentioned OPORTO and TARAWA areas near the puzzle center, and then the CETA area down south (101D: Job legislation estab. in 1973). Yeesh, that is one ugly (and, to me, completely unheard of) acronym. Dullards like me will be happy (or not) to find out that CETA stands for "Comprehensive Employment and Training Act," which is "a United States federal law enacted in 1973 to train workers and provide them with jobs in the public service" (wikipedia). Happily, the area immediately adjacent to CETA is lovely, with GOOSES (99D: Spurs) and IT'S HOT (100D: "Boy, am I shvitzing!") descending into WIZ ZEST (119D: Guru + 126A: Relish). Love it.

Bullets:

• 1A: Frozen dessert in France (GLACE) — Wasn't sure, but GLACE came tentatively to mind, and the crosses all confirmed it, bang bang bang.
  
• 75A: Biennial golf competition (RYDER CUP) — that's a nice longer answer. Team competition, Europe vs. U.S.
  
• 124A: Start of the French Lord's Prayer (NOTRE) — "NOTRE père qui es aux cieux" ... used to be "qui êtes aux cieux," but I guess folks have gotten chummier with God since then.
  
• 4D: Husband of Pompeia (CAESAR) — by which I assume they mean *Julius* CAESAR. There are many, many CAESARs.
  
• 10D: Plato's "tenth Muse" (SAPPHO) — poet of Lesbos.
  
• 16D: "___ No Woman," 1973 hit for the Four Tops ("AIN'T") — Ooh, is this "AIN'T No Woman like the one I got!?" I know that song — but I needed most of the crosses to get this answer.

• 40D: Colleague of Lane and Kent (OLSEN) — always the OLSEN/OLSON issue, but SORBET made that choice clear.
  
• 47D: Clothier, in Cambridge (DRAPER) — My favorite is Don DRAPER. God I love that man. Almost as much as I love Ron Swanson.

• 68D: Pumice source (LAVA) — I had MICA.
  
• 78D: Sci-fi escape vehicles (PODS) — Mr. Burns had one of these built in case of nuclear meltdown. He had to use it once, but I think it just shot him into the power plant parking lot.
  
• 83D: Small-runway aircraft, briefly (STOL) — "Short Takeoff and Landing" — learned this one the hard way (in a crossword).
  
• 98D: Dr. Seuss title animal (HORTON) — He's a title elephant. Come on, just say "elephant."
• 109D: Kiev-born Israeli P.M. (MEIR) — Kiev, eh? I did not know that. I had fantastic Chicken Kiev at the Russian Tea Room once when I was 13. Have I mentioned that experience? Changed my life. "How ... how did the butter get in there...?" Then, on the way out of the restaurant, my mom said "there's the potted plant your father threw up in once." Then there was this crazy guy in the street out front, slamming the handle of a small axe into his palm while yelling at passers-by. No one paid him any mind. 1983!
  

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

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TV alien's word / SUN 2-28-10 / Pact of '94 / Imitation is sincerest form of television quipster / 1990s war locale / Explosive event of 54

Constructor: Yaakov Bendavid

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: "EASE-E DOES IT" — "EA" is changed to "EE" in familiar phrases, creating wackiness. You know the drill...


Word of the Day: CAMELEERS (87A: Desert drivers) —

n. A person who drives or rides a camel.

• • •

The most basic of theme concepts — change-a-letter (and/or -sound). Up there with add-a-letter and drop-a-letter in terms of commonness. I thought this concept worked OK today, with good clues (e.g. 55A: Summer next door to a nudist camp? => PEEK SEASON) making up for lack of consistent sizzle in the answers themselves. Full disclosure: I feel very happy about the publication of this puzzle because over two years ago, Yaakov Bendavid wrote me and asked me to test-solve one of his initial construction efforts. Here's how I responded to that puzzle in February 2008:

You are clearly going to be an accomplished constructor. I look forward to seeing more of your stuff. You'll get in the NYT eventually - I can tell. Everything but the theme felt very, very passable.

Then, just last month, I got the following email:

It's been almost two years since my first e-mail to you, where you gave a fledgling constructor some encouragement. Well, I just had my first two acceptances by the NY Times, both Sundays.

So thanks again for your encouraging words.

Sincerely,
Yaakov

And so, as my wife's countrymen would say, I'm pretty chuffed, and am not feeling particularly objective today.

I confess that I have no idea who FRED ALLEN is (40A: "Imitation is the sincerest form of television" quipster). I know STEVE ALLEN. I know, uh, FRED BASSET. But FRED ALLEN, no. I like that his name is symmetrical to CAMELEERS (87A: Desert drivers), which is the other answer in the grid that made me go "Wha?!" CAMELEERS is a very cool word. Much better than (the, I'm guessing, racist) CAMEL JOCKEYS. The grid had a preponderance of "EE" words, even beyond the theme — SEEDILY and USERFEE (26A: Parkgoer's charge) and REELECT and FORESEE, etc. But it also had the stray "Z" and "X" and the "Q," which came in the clear winner of all today's theme answers: REEL MEN DON'T EAT QUICHE!

Theme answers:

• 22A: Inappropriate on a honeymoon? (NOT FOR THE WEEK OF HEART) — I don't think I get this on a literal level. You're on your honeymoon for a week, and "heart" is some kind of metaphor for "love?"
  
• 36A: Item in a golf boutique? (AROMATIC TEE)
  
• 55A: Summer next door to the nudist camp? (PEEK SEASON)
  
• 71A: What a pursued perp might do? (FLEE COLLAR)
  
• 90A: The point when Fido's master starts walking? (A TIME TO HEEL)
  
• 103A: Bit of advice when packing anglers' lunches? (REEL MEN DON'T EAT QUICHE)

• 15D: Buck's candid conversation opener? (FRANKLY, MY DEER)
  
• 54D: Dating service in a northern German city? (HAMBURGER MEET)
  

No real hang-ups today. Oddly, the answer that gave me the most trouble was one that everyone else probably blew right through. I just couldn't see it, and had to circle around and come at it from the back. That answer was OFF-AIR (23D: Like some TV interviewers' questions). I had the OFF- and scrolled through my list of OFF- phrases: OFF-TOPIC, OFFHAND, OFF...ENSIVE? I probably would have clued this in relation to how some callers to radio call-in shows take their answers. Other small issues: NARA (51D: Former Japanese capital)? I am sure this is some kind of crosswordese, but if so, I'd forgotten it entirely. Also, never quite sure how to spell LOOIE (72D: Sarge's superior). Had LOOEY, I think, at first.

Bullets:

• 13A: Pact of '94 (NAFTA) — gimme. I kind of like the abbreviated year signaling the acronym.
  
• 27A: Italian home of the Basilica of San Francesco (Assisi) — St. Francis of ASSISI. Piece of cake.
  
• 28A: Mark Harmon action drama ("N.C.I.S.") — neeeeever seen it. I'm slightly tempted to watch the LL Cool J spin-off set in L.A. I like LL, 'cause he's hard as hell, making [bleep!] screw face like Gargamel.

• 69A: "Falstaff" soprano (ALICE) — uh ... yeah, no idea. I know so many ALICEs, but this is not one of them. No sweat. Crosses made it quite gettable.
  
• 78A: Frequent gangster portrayer (BOGART) — this is true enough, though I know him best as detective Sam Spade.
  
• 85A: Explosive event of '54 (H-TEST) — the ubiquitous H/A/N-TEST. One of my least-liked bits of crosswordese.
  
• 45A: Sperm targets (OVA) — something about the phrasing of this clue ... didn't quite sit right with me. Something about the idea of aiming sperm ...
  
• 46A: Camera-ready page (REPRO) — I thought it would be a PROOF.
  
• 1D: TV alien's word (NANU) — is that a word? I know it only as part of NANU-NANU, which suggests that it's meaningless unless doubled, ergo not a "word." I know, I'm overthinking it.
  
• 7D: Zero-star restaurant review (UGH) — love it. Also a zero-star puzzle review, as any longtime reader will know.
  
• 16D: Onetime Toyota model (TERCEL) — it's not a very attractive name. It's a male hawk used in falconry, but somehow the majesty of the bird doesn't really carry over into the name/car. It's just a nondescript little sedan.
  
• 56D: Dental hygienists, at times (SCALERS) — I don't know what this is. Are they climbing my teeth? Taking the scales off of my teeth? I had SCRAPERS ... or would have, if it had fit.
  
• 61D: 1990s war locale (ZAIRE) — and now it's called the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
  
• 68D: Rags-to-riches author Horatio — and author of the awesomely named "RAGGED DICK"
  

And now a few "Tweets of the Week" — crossword chatter from the Twitterverse:

• ElijahBrubaker there's a woman outside yelling for help but this crossword puzzle isn't going to do itself
• arthurra I asked someone the NYTimes crossword question "Capt Nemos final resting place?" he said I don't know I never read Moby Dick #FAIL
• lotyslove I wonder if I should tell my stepdad that I use google when I'm stumped on a crossword...nah, lmao! I'll continue to smash his ego...
• kfan Excuse me but me and my new crossword book edited by Will Shortz will be spending the remainder of the weekend in the newlywed suite.

Lastly, congratulations to my daughter (and her team) on cleaning up at the regional Odyssey of the Mind tournament. Awards include: First place in her team's division, some special award with a weird woman's name (given for exceptional creativity), and a trip to States (which, mercifully, take place here in Binghamton). I'm not normally a brag-about-my-kid kind of person, but when she comes home draped in medals ... well, I'm only human. Good job, kid.


Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

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