Cooked rice, in Korean cuisine / WED 12-24-25 / Shrub that sounds regretful / Kosher barbecue option / Class where you learn how to get a tan? / Silly character on the "Sesame Street" segment "Elmo's World" / Keenan's partner in comedy / Free copy of a film sent to awards show voters / No-clothes college gathering / Pesky biter, informally

Constructor: Ella Dershowitz

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: FAKE IDS (56A: Aids for minors buying liquor ... or a hint to 17-, 27- and 44-Across) — answers with the initials "I.D." that are in some way misleading:

Theme answers:

• ITALIAN DRESSING (17A: Salad topping that's actually fromAmerican and is rarely consumed in its namesake land)
• ISAK DINESEN (27A: "Out of Africa" author actually named Karen Christentze von Blixen-Finecke)
• INDEPENDENCE DAY (44A: Observance celebrating a decision actually made on July 2—the date when John Adams predicted it would be celebrated)

Word of the Day: NAKED PARTY (29D: No-clothes college gathering) —

A naked party, also known as nude party, is a party where the participants are required to be nude. The parties have become associated with college campuses and with college-aged people; they gained prominence after naked parties were organized at Brown University and Yale University. While the roots of naked parties come from the nudism movements and campus streaking, the modern "naked party" movement appears to have its roots at Brown University in the 1980s. Attendees of naked parties often report that they stop feeling awkward after just a few minutes since everyone has disrobed before entering the party and since everyone's nudity is accepted, regardless of body type. According to reports, most naked college parties are sex-free. At Brown University, the nakedness is "more of an experiment in social interaction than a sexual experience". (wikipedia)

• • •

The theme ends up being pretty clever, but I can't say I enjoyed solving the puzzle that much. We got off on the wrong foot, the puzzle and I—the very first clue I looked at made me mad—and the relationship never fully recovered. Right up front, I get humanized A.I., which ... look, SIRI has been around a while, been in crosswords a while, we've all just come to accept it as a fully normalized thing. But now, in an age of extreme A.I. proliferation, with the A.I. bandwagon visibly careening out of control, with A.I. trying to insinuate itself into literally every aspect of our lives, SIRI now feels like the A.I. Trojan Horse—the thing that got everybody used to treating machines like people. And while that's not the puzzle's fault, the puzzle definitely becomes part of the problem when it decides to refer to SIRI as "whom" (1A: Whom you might say "hey" to every day)."Whom!?" Why isn't "whom" in scare quotes? SIRI isn't a "whom" (no matter what "she"'s told you). It's a "what." You know what I've owned for almost 13 years? An iPhone. And do you know what (that's right, what) I haven't talked to once in all that time? Not once? That's correct. SIRI. SIRI is a machine. Not a person. SIRI is, in fact, like the answer it sits on top of, a TOOL. Can't "think," can't "feel," can't "imagine." The entire world is trying to humanize machines, to all of our detriments; the puzzle does not have to voluntarily assist in this endeavor. SIRI is a spy—not your assistant, not your friend. As for this clue, all you need is scare quotes for "Whom" and you're good. That acknowledges that people do talk to SIRI as if "she" is a person, but also acknowledges that that behavior is delusional. 

But again, I think the theme is clever. I didn't bother reading all those long-ass clues, though. I'm here to solve, not read a damn novel. Also, I didn't need to do all that reading to get the answers. I stopped reading the ITALIAN DRESSING clue after two words ([Salad topping...]) because ... that was enough. Same with the clue for ISAK DINESEN, though I guess it was four words in that case (["Out of Africa" author]). For INDEPENDENCE DAY, I read [Observation celebrating blah blah blah] and just looked at the letters I had in place and pieced together the "Observation" from there. So really, only the revealer gave me any real solving pleasure, in that it explained why all that blah blah blah I didn't read was in the puzzle. 

So the theme is solid. It's all the stuff besides the theme that wasn't really thrilling me today. That patch in the far north seems really rough, compared to the rest of the grid. APA next to MR. NOODLE (?) (6D: Silly character on the "Sesame Street" segment "Elmo's World") next to AIDY Bryant. A professional org. not everyone will know alongside two proper nouns not everyone will know (one of which I didn't know), all crossing OYE ... that bit feels held together with duct tape. The rest seems more soundly built. The long Downs are nice in the SW (ILL-ADVISED alongside CORNER PUB), but in the SE ... meh. I think NAKED PARTY is supposed to be a highlight, but that just got a shrug and "what?" from me. Never heard of such a thing, perhaps because it has the Blandest Name In The History of Parties. Are you really calling your party where guests are naked a "NAKED PARTY?" This seems like more Yale shit, honestly. I mean, it is more Yale shit. Brown and Yale apparently gave us whatever these parties are (see "Word of the Day," above), and the constructor went to Yale, so ... this answer is really just ELI in different clothes. Or no clothes, I guess.  I have a Yale sticker on the rear window of my car and a Yale-attending daughter (home for the holidays as of yesterday!), so, uh, nothing against Yale. I just have Yale exhaustion where crosswords are concerned, and finding out the unimaginatively named NAKED PARTY started out as a Yale thing has reexhausted me. 

Bullets:

• 36A: Shout at a Real Madrid game ("GOL!") — yes I wrote in "OLE!" A crossword reflex if there ever was one.
• 37A: Kosher barbecue option (BEEF RIB) — this is really just a "barbecue option." I mean, that would be enough. The "Kosher" part threw me, because I honestly didn't know that some cuts of beef are not kosher. Apparently, the hindquarters of a cow are not kosher. If you are Jewish, you likely know this. Not me, though. Somehow only learning this now. Sometimes I appreciate when the puzzle can teach me things. Thanks, puzzle. Don't care about NAKED PARTYs, but what parts of the cow are kosher, that seems like useful knowledge.
• 61A: Shrub that sounds regretful (RUE) — So ... just "regret," then. Six letters. That's all I need. That's all anyone needs. You wanna go "shrub," go full shrub, don't give me the crutch.

• 11D: Class where you learn how to get a tan? (TRIG) — hoo boy, best clue of the day, for sure. Absolutely stumped me. Needed all the crosses and then let out an audible "d'oh!" Just as TRIG is short for "trigonometry," "tan" here is short for "tangent" (something you might calculate in Trigonometry class). Read all about it.
• 37D: Cooked rice, in Korean cuisine (BAP) — BibimBAP is one of the most delicious dishes in all God's creation. There was a great Korean place on University Ave. in Ann Arbor where I first had it in the '90s. Since I now think of "bibimbap" as one word, I never thought about what the various parts of it meant. Which is to say, I had no idea BAP meant "cooked rice." But there's definitely cooked rice in "bibimbap," so ... it tracks! 

Enough puzzle. Time for 🌲🐈Holiday Pet Pics🐕🌲! Note: PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME ANY MORE PET PICS, I'M ALL FULL UP FOR THIS YEAR, thank you.

Here's Bailey making the universal cat "Nope!" face. As you can see, she is having to be held in place for this photo, because otherwise she'd be tearing that thing off. At least they didn't try to put the hood all the way over her ears. Honestly looks more "Little Red Riding Bailey" than "Santa Bailey"

[Thanks, Helen!]

Daisy's working here. Guarding the perimeter. Just waiting for something to bay or bark at. She's heard there might be reindeer afoot. Not on her watch!

[Thanks, Steve!]

I'm getting vertigo just looking at this picture of Ketchup. Which way is up, Ketchup? Why aren't you red, Ketchup? What a great name. Gonna get a black lab and name it Mustard. Makes just as much sense.

[Thanks, Jaime!]

Dave in Ithaca (on the radio!) has sent in pictures of his cats Tom and Felix. Actually, I'm not sure that Tom didn't send them himself—right after he took this selfie.

[Thanks, Dave!]

Lastly, it's Georgie, who has the panicked look of a cat about to hijack a sleigh. "Get in, man, get in! Hurry! Before the fat man gets back. Hey, hey, you got any more catnip?" "Uh, no, not on me, man." "It'd be a lot cooler if you did ... oh well, let's ride!"

[Thanks, Anne!]

See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd]
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Caesar's first stabber / THU 12-26-24 / Peak picker-uppers / Dutch banking giant / Hawaiian dish with cubed fish / Astronauts' outpost, for short / Forgo a ring, maybe / Slangy term for an obsession with branded fashion items / Early 20th-century composer who introduced the typewriter as a percussion instrument / Unapproved, pharmaceutically / Bass organs

Constructor: Ella Dershowitz

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: SKI LIFTS (55A: Peak picker-uppers, as depicted three times in this puzzle's grid) — the letters "SKI" literally "lift" (i.e. go up) three times, elevating three different Across answers by two rows before they continue on across:

Theme answers:

• "THIS KISS" (28A: Faith Hill hit with the lyric "It's perpetual bliss")
• PENCIL SKIRT (29A: Slim-fitting bottom)
• "CASH IS KING" (60A: "Money talks")

Word of the Day: CASCA (45D: Caesar's first stabber) —

 

[Murder of Caesar, Karl Theodor von Piloty (1865)]

Publius Servilius Casca Longus (died c. 42 BC) was one of the assassins of Julius Caesar and plebeian tribune in 43 BC. He and several other senators conspired to kill him, a plan which they carried out on 15 March 44 BC. Afterward, Casca fought with the liberators during the Liberators' civil war. He is believed to have died at the Battle of Phillipi either by suicide or at the hands of Octavian's forces. // Despite his being initially a childhood friend of Caesar, Casca and his brother Titedius joined in the assassination. Casca struck the first blow, attacking Caesar from behind and hitting his bare shoulders, after Tillius Cimber had distracted the dictator by grabbing his toga. Caesar replied "Casca, you villain, what are you doing?" and tussled with him for several seconds. Casca simultaneously shouted to his brother in Greek, "Brother, help me!" The other assassins then joined in. // In December 44 BC, Casca assumed office as plebeian tribune. No unrest was associated with his taking office and he allied himself with Cicero and Brutus' mother Servilia. However, after Octavian marched on Rome during the War of Mutina, Casca fled the city and joined Marcus Junius Brutus and Gaius Cassius Longinus, the leaders of the assassins, in the Liberators' civil war against the Second Triumvirate of Antony, Lepidus, and Octavian. When he fled the city, his colleague, Publius Titius, had Casca's tribunate abrogated. He seems to have died, probably by suicide, in the aftermath of their defeat at the Battle of Philippi, in October 42 BC. There is no reference to him in any of the sources after this date. (wikipedia)

• • •

Such a simple concept, I'm surprised it's never been done before (not in the NYTXW, anyway). The very term SKI LIFT(S) seems to be crying out to be a Thursday revealer. And maybe it was, but it just wasn't crying hard enough. Buried under too much snow? Anyway, its cries were heard, and so we get this puzzle, which, thematically, is quite nice. The simplicity is elegant instead of insipid or remedial. I actually had quite a bit of trouble picking up the gimmick (I was painfully aware that I could just jump down to the revealer, and that would likely speed the process of my "getting it" along, but some days (most?) I'm stubborn). What made the gimmick hard for me to see was the fact that my first theme answer was "THIS KISS," a song title I knew, but because the (apparent) answer was "THIS," I assumed I was dealing with a "missing 'kiss'" puzzle. Maybe the letters "KISS" were hidden somewhere, or there was an "X" (shorthand for "kiss") that I was supposed to find, or make ... maybe buried in a black squares? I don't know. All I knew was I was on the hunt for kisses. Then I got to PUTTIES (35A: Fills in the gaps of, in a way), which ... obviously not a theme answer. Obvious now. Not obvious to me then. The clue on that was so odd  that I thought the full answer was PUTTIES [OVER], and so now, in addition to a missing "kiss," I had a missing "over" to find. It wasn't until PENCILS that I could see the gimmick, because you could feel the break—that is, the answer wanted to be PENCIL SKIRT, but instead of standalone PENCIL (the way I had standalone "THIS" with the first themer), I had that extra "S"—PENCILS. So then I just followed the "S" to the obvious next letter ("K") and thought, "Oh, I just write in IRT ... here" (and that, in fact, was right). So there was some fumbling around before I grasped it all, but otherwise the puzzle was very doable, clued more like a Wednesday than a Thursday. The tricky gimmick offset the easy fill and so you end up with a pretty average Thursday difficulty—though above-average Thursday quality, I think.

I appreciated the lightness of the theme, i.e. the fact that there were just three theme answers. Themes that involve answers hopping up or otherwise jumping their lanes can put a Lot of pressure on the grid and make it hard to fill cleanly, so it's nice to see a constructor know not to push it—to trust the strength and charm of the theme and let the grid breathe. Makes for a smoother solving experience. Not that it was smooth all over. I'm used to seeing pretty polished work from this constructor, and this one felt more crosswordesey than usual (CASCA TEC ERMA SERTA etc.) (giving ING and IRT a pass because they're part of the theme). Also, DODGSON is not exactly a winning name (huge shrug from me) (40D: Lewis Carroll's real last name, hence Lewis's last name in "Jurassic Park") and LOGOMANIA ... :( ... if you say so (30D: Slangy term for an obsession with branded fashion items). Admittedly, fashion terminology is not my strong suit, but that feels made up. Do people really use it? LOGOMANIA sounds like a passion for words or reason, not a passion for the little polo-playing guy or the "LV" on the Louis-Vuitton luggage. Not excited by that answer. Very excited, however, by full-named ERIK SATIE (among my ten, maybe five, favorite composers) (14D: Early 20th-century composer who introduced the typewriter as a percussion instrument). 

You see his name in parts a lot in crosswords, so it was fun to see the parts all together. Also enjoyed AIM TO PLEASE and BEATNIKS and RUBIK'S CUBES, though an ASTUTE editor (or editor's assistant) would've vetoed the "cubed" part of the POKE BOWL clue (13A: Hawaiian dish with cubed fish) on the grounds of duplicate "cubes." That's too conspicuous a word to (needlessly) double like that. On the whole, I thought this was pretty GREAT. A simple theme concept that was sufficiently tough to uncover, and a smooth grid full of varied answers (light on names—DODGSON notwithstanding—heavy on polish).

Notes:

• 19A: Like the last name of swimming legend Diana Nyad (APT) — naiads = "nymphs who lived in and presided over brooks, springs, and fountains" (American Heritage), i.e. water nymphs. Swimmers swim in (surprise!) water. So: APT.
• 33A: Forgo a ring, maybe (KNOCK) — gah! Anyone else reflexively write in ELOPE!? Any five-letter answer with a punny-looking clue, and my first instinct is always ELOPE. Not sure why ELOPE in particular tends to attract the punny clues (e.g. [Take the honey and run?]), but it does, and this clue had ELOPE written all over it. Until it didn't. "A ring" here is the doorbell.

• 50A: Dutch banking giant (ING) — back when I thought 43D: Hamper, e.g. (BIN) was BOX, I thought this [Dutch banking giant] was OXO ... because I misread "banking" as "baking" ... and then thought maybe the clue was talking about the kitchenware brand, OXO. There is no trap so deadly as the trap you set for yourself.
• 63A: CBS drama with five spinoffs (NCIS) — first thought: "... all of them?" How many CSIs were there? How many FBIs are there? Chicago [blank]s? I mean, if the franchise formula works, why stop? But it's still a bit ridiculous.
• 48D: Bass organs (GILLS) — Oh, that kind of bass. And that kind of organ. Double-ambiguous! Clue really looks like it wants a musical instrument for an answer.
• 11D: Chess : check :: go : ___ (ATARI) — I assume I'm like most people (in this one way) in that I had to piece this together from crosses and then infer it from the idea that I know that "go" is a Japanese game, and ATARI is a video game company with a Japanese name. The company was named after this "go" term, it turns out: "Before Atari's incorporation, Bushnell considered various terms from the game Go, eventually choosing atari, referencing a position in the game when a group of stones is imminently in danger of being taken by one's opponent. Atari was incorporated in the state of California on June 27, 1972" (wikipedia).
• 18A: Astronauts' outpost, for short (ISS) — International Space Station.
• 39A: Samira Wiley's role on "The Handmaid's Tale" (MOIRA) — more TV I haven't watched. I read that novel in the '80s and loved it and have never had any desire to see it revisited. I did see the 1990 film adaptation when it came out, though. I remember liking it, though apparently most people didn't. The screenplay was written by Harold Pinter!? Kinda want to revisit it now ...

• 61A: Unapproved, pharmaceutically (OFF-LABEL) — could not get beyond "OFF-BRAND." Until crosses forced me.

More Holiday Pet Pics now.

A few memorial photos to open today's set. First up, Maxine, playing her favorite game, "Where's Maxine?" "Screw Waldo, Maxine is best hider! Master of disguise. I am plush toy! They never find me now..." RIP, Maxine.

[Thanks, Cyndie]

Next up are two animals from the family of frequent blog commenter Mimi ("@A"). First, there's Eudora Welty aka "boo-boo," in typical "not a place for cats" position. Cats—turning four square inches of real estate into a throne since forever:

And then there's Kaya, who wants to open presents now, can we? (RIP to both these babies)

[Thanks, Mimi]

The following animals are still with us, as far as I know. I really feel like I've featured Milo and Grey here before, but I can't find any evidence, and anyway, look at them. I could feature them every day and who would complain?

[Thanks, Christopher]

Here's Amelia, next to that damned crossword ornament that we apparently all own. Amelia is part Dalmatian part Ewok all sweetness.

[Thanks, James and Megan]

And lastly, in honor of the official start of Chanukah (yesterday), we get a triptych of Bodie. The many Chanukah moods of Bodie. One minute he's belting out "Chanukah, Oh Chanukah"!...

... the next, he's a professional model. Do you need dignified, or relaxed and casual? Bodie can give you any look you require. 

[Thanks, Jill and Ronnie]

See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook]

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Emphasis-providing suffix / THU 10-24-24 / Fighting fish / Stinging jellyfish / Workplace for a young Abraham Lincoln / Antioxidant-infused water brand / Block in Atlantic City / Proponents of crystal healing / Vinyl records, slangily / Marine animal with distinctive eye patches / Animated character with a Scottish accent

Constructor: Ella Dershowitz

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: "ANY TAKERS?" (35A: "Who's interested?" ... or, phonetically, what four answers in this puzzle are vis-à-vis the answers next to them) — take "NE" ("N" + "E" = "any!") from one answer, give it to the answer next to it:

Theme answers:

• IMPANELING / THE ONE (i.e. impaneling / Theo) (17A: Selecting for a jury / 19A: Nickname alternative to Teddy)
• SEA NETTLE / FAR GONE (i.e. sea nettle / Fargo) (24A: Stinging jellyfish / 26A: North Dakota's most populous city)
• HEADS TONE / COCKNEY (i.e. headstone / cocky) (47A: Frank Sinatra's reads "The best is yet to come" / 50A: Arrogantly confident)
• NEWAGERS / ALL I NEED (i.e. New-Agers / allied) (56A: Proponents of crystal healing / 58A: On the same side)

Word of the Day: Berry and Lincoln (1A: Workplace for a young Abraham Lincoln = BAR) —

Back before he was President, Abraham Lincoln was a lawyer. And before he was a lawyer, he was something else entirely—a bartender.

Holders of the nation's highest office have often had a close relationship with booze, as George Washington established the nation's largest whiskey distillery in 1797 and Thomas Jefferson brewed his own beer. Andrew Jackson's inaugural party in 1829 was so legendary that we still drink the orange punch partygoers consumed (and you can find it on the menu at Big Jones). But Lincoln was the only president who was also a licensed bartender.

Lincoln was co-owner of Berry and Lincoln, a store/drinking establishment in New Salem, Illinois, where he lived from 1831 to 1837. [...] 

In January 1833, he partnered with his friend from his militia days, William F. Berry, to purchase a small store, which they named Berry and Lincoln. Stores could sell alcohol in quantities greater than a pint for off-premises consumption, but it was illegal to sell single drinks to consume at the store without a license. In March 1833, Berry and Lincoln were issued a tavern, or liquor, license, which cost them $7 and was taken out in Berry's name. Stores that sold liquor to consume on the premises were called groceries. (chicagoist.com)

• • •

Cone BRA (34D)

Extremely slow start because of the theme. And because of my lack of knowledge about water filter brand names. And because of my complete inability to distinguish a SIA song from a SZA song. And because even after I went looking for the themer so I could understand what was going on—and uncovered it quickly—I somehow convinced myself that there must be another revealer ... otherwise, how do you explain the missing "UR"  from SEA TURTLE (24A: Stinging jellyfish). I know, I know, a turtle is not a jellyfish! But it's aquatic! And "UR" ("you are") seemed like the kind of phonetic element you'd use for a second punny revealer. Between the trickiness of the theme and the ridiculous machinations of my crossword brain, things were very rough up top indeed. Also, I only really read half the revealer clue, so I got the "NE" extraction part, but I didn't pick up the "NE" insertion part, so while THE ONE and FAR GONE weren't exactly hard, I did hesitate, wondering why there were these extra letters tacked on to the end of the "correct" answers. ARGH. But in the bottom half of the puzzle, things went much more smoothly. I had the theme concept down pat by then, and there was no more BAI (?) or SZA waiting to trip me up. Just the very familiar ANI DiFranco and SARA Bareilles, who made finishing the puzzle much easier than starting it.

[24D: Singer with the 2023 #1 hit "Kill Bill" (warning: gun violence)]

That BAR / BAI cross was brutal for me because I assumed it was BAR but figured it was the *legal* kind of BAR, which is not an actual physical "workplace" (1A: Workplace for a young Abraham Lincoln). I mean, when you're admitted to The BAR, you aren't let in to an actual building. It's like a club. My mom was a lawyer, I should ask her. Anyway, "workplace" had me really unsure of the "B" in BAR. This is all to say that unlike much of our country, I was never much for Lincoln-olatry, never watched a movie or read a book about him. My wife is a U.S. historian, so I just picked up my knowledge of 19c. U.S. history kinda ... ambiently. People talk about Lincoln so much anyway that you feel like, you know, you get the gist. Do I really want to watch Daniel Day-Lewis doing Lincoln? I did not, and I do not—god save me from biopics, the absolute worst of all genres. Anyway, most of you probably knew that Lincoln owned a BAR, but wow, not me, not at all. That bit of info was not in my school curriculum. And BAI ... yeesh, no. I mean, I've heard of it, it's been in the puzzle before, but still ... did not come to mind (1D: Antioxidant-infused water brand). I had PUR in there for a bit (that's the three-letter water filter, alas).

[the only "Lincoln" I truly care about is this album (They Might Be Giants, 1988)]

That "Z" in SZA is really a choice. In the end, nothing else works, but if you don't know who SZA is (and I know some of you don't), that answer must've looked nuts. Must've had you doubting your knowledge of the Greek alphabet (I'll admit, after Epsilon, I have no idea what order the letters go in). Kind of brutal that SIA is also (like SZA) a popular contemporary singer. Luckily, I know the Greek alphabet well enough to know that while IOTA is one of the letters, IETA is not. So the "I" was out and the "Z" was in. I am a little (if only a little) familiar with SZA as a musical artist, so that helped. It also helped that I knew "-ASS" was an [Emphasis-providing suffix]. It's generationally behind me, but I had a kid who was, by definition, generationally behind me, and my students are generationally behind me, so this use of "-ASS" made sense to me. But I can see how people who don't know "-ASS" as a *suffix* might reason their way to -ESS as the answer here. I mean -ESS is a recognizable suffix, so it has that going for it. "Emphasis-providing," though? Not really. It's more "feminizing." As I stumbled to put that little area together, I wondered whether there were other stumblers out there ... and whether maybe some of those stumblers actually fell all the way over and never got up. I hope not. 


Any notes? Yes:

• 38D: Abdominal floor exercises (TOE TAPS) — my trainer has me do these sometimes, but if I didn't have a trainer, I wouldn't know what these are.

• 6D: "Must this conversation happen again?" ("CAN WE NOT?") — ah, perfect colloquialism, easily my favorite thing in the grid. I also enjoyed the freshness of PAN SEAR (a debut) (41D: Cook until a crust forms) and the clue on SPACES (61A: Totally forgets to do something, informally) and OWLET (4D: Baby that's up all night?) and SMOKE (64A: Tip-off that you've forgotten something in the toaster).
• 48D: Animated film character with a Scottish accent (SHREK) — because GROUNDSKEEPER WILLIE wouldn't fit

• 60D: Block in Atlantic City (DIE) — the kind you roll when you are gambling
• 8D: Fighting fish (BETTA) — despite encountering these things multiple times in the crossword by now, I still can't quite put the name together. When it comes to aquarium fish, after TETRA, I'm kind of at a loss. I think I remembered up to -ETTA today, but had to go to BOAST for the "B" cross (8A: Promote oneself).

See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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Bowling-pin shaped creature of Al Capp cartoons / THU 6-20-24 / Vape's lack / Sidekick of 1950s TV / Kids' menu go-with / Lead-in to normative / Airport acquisitions / Dancer's haul / Lorelai's place of business on "Gilmore Girls" / U.S. city where the frozen margarita was invented / Monk's style / Kind of electrons on the outermost shell of an atom

Constructor: Ella Dershowitz

Relative difficulty: Challenging (if you go down and get the "revealer" first, then maybe less challenging)

THEME: TRADE NAMES (55A: Commercial identifiers ... or what four pairs of answers must do in order to match their clues) — on four occasions, Across answers that share a row "trade" three-letter strings, which happen to be people's first "names":

Theme answers:

• INTIMATION / HALE (i.e. INHALATION / TIME) (17A: Breath / 19A: Marathoner's focus) 
• CANNON / SPRAYING (i.e. CRAYON / SPANNING) (24A: Kids' menu go-with / 26A: Reaching across)
• ALIVE / LEAST (i.e. LEAVE / A-LIST) (35A: Get out of Dodge / 36A: Fancy few)
• PICKED ON / PARTED (i.e. PICKETED / PARDON) (44A: Walked for a cause / 46A: Prisoner's reprieve)

Word of the Day: SHMOO (4D: Bowling-pin shaped creature of Al Capp cartoons) —

The shmoo (plural: shmoos, also shmoon) is a fictional cartoon creature created by Al Capp (1909–1979); the character first appeared in the comic strip Li'l Abner on August 31, 1948. It has had a considerable influence on pop culture, language, geopolitics, human history, and science. // A shmoo physically resembles a bowling pin with stubby legs. It has smooth skin, eyebrows, and sparse whiskers—but no arms, nose, or ears. Its feet are short and round, but dexterous, as the shmoo's comic book adventures make clear. It has a rich gamut of facial expressions and often expresses love by exuding hearts over its head. Cartoonist 

Al Capp ascribed to the shmoo the following curious characteristics:

• They reproduce asexually and are incredibly prolific, multiplying faster than rabbits. They require no sustenance other than air.
• Shmoos are delicious to eat, and are eager to be eaten. If a human looks at one hungrily, it will happily immolate itself—either by jumping into a frying pan, after which they taste like chicken, or on a grill, after which they taste like steak. When roasted they taste like pork, and when baked they taste like catfish. Raw, they taste like oysters on the half-shell.
• They also produce eggs (neatly packaged), milk (bottled, grade-A), and butter—no churning required. Their pelts make perfect bootleather or house timbers, depending on how thick one slices them.
• They have no bones, so there is no waste. Their eyes make the best suspender buttons, and their whiskers make perfect toothpicks. In short, they are simply the perfect ideal of a subsistence agricultural herd animal.
• Naturally gentle, they require minimal care and are ideal playmates for young children. The frolicking of shmoos is so entertaining (such as their staged "shmoosical comedies") that people no longer feel the need to watch television or go to the movies.
• Some of the tastier varieties of shmoo are more difficult to catch, however. Usually shmoo hunters, now a sport in some parts of the country, use a paper bag, flashlight, and stick to capture their shmoos. At night the light stuns them, then they may be whacked in the head with the stick and put in the bag for frying up later on.

• • •

I've been fed a steady diet of easy and easier puzzles for so long now that I'd forgotten what a properly Thursday Thursday puzzle felt like. This one absolutely ran me over. The theme made it so eight of the answers didn't ("didn't) make sense, and then the cluing overall felt turned up to 11, difficulty-wise. The NW... I mean, that's always likely to be the toughest part of a puzzle, in that it's where I start, and when you start, you have nothing to go on, but even adjusting for that fact, that NW was brutal. Starting with 1A: evidence collector, for short (CSI). A CSI ... is a CSI a countable thing? Is the "I" for "investigator," or is the "investigation" as a whole the "collector" in question? That clue on RUN was great but hard (14A: Homecoming, of a sort?) (you score a RUN when you come “home” … in baseball). Clue on STENO (20A: Court figure), also really hard (and would've been impossible for me without the "O" from SHMOO, which I somehow knew because I am old and so the world of Al Capp (exceedingly popular at one time, very much not popular now) is vaguely familiar to me). The [Brand for bakers] could've been anything (I started with TEC / TEFLON in the CSI / CRISCO slots). I figured tanning was involved at 2D: Get bronze but since the verb is generally just TAN, I could not see SUNTAN. And how many kinds of INTENT are there? (3D: Mens rea, for example). Mens rea is a kind of INTENT? I thought "mens rea" *was* INTENT, so I was looking for ... I don't know. Something related to "state of mind." Total faceplant. That NW also has *two* themers running through it, so ... yeah, haven't been thrashed like that in a long, long time. 

It was clear pretty early on that if I'd only gone down and looked at the revealer (instead of working my way methodically down the grid, always working off crosses, as per uzh), I could've moved things along quicker. But I'm stubborn. So I just kept fighting my way through, assuming I'd get the trick eventually. And I did. I got the switch thing (*eventually*) but the fact that the switched things were names didn't register. Also, somehow knowing that a switch was involved didn't make everything magically Easy all of a sudden. With HALE, ALIVE, and LEAST, the "name" part is so much of the answer that it's hard to guess the (actual, literal) answer from the remaining letters. I mean, [Marathoner's focus] and all I get is the "E"? I thought ...  maybe PACE? Or an ACHE? Or the RACE itself? Or the TAPE at the end? Also, if you give me [Prisoner's reprieve] and PAR- followed by three letters, well, I'm sure PARDON is the best guess there, but PAROLE fits, *and* OLE is a (Danish/Norwegian) name, so ... oof. 

So it was hard, but was it good? Yes. I didn't like some of the cluing, but the theme itself is really SLICK. A simple concept resulting in a very difficult solve. The revealer is perfect. Almost too perfect. Uncannily perfect. TRADE NAMES is about as exact and concise a description of what happens, thematically, as you're ever gonna see. You get eight "unclued" answers, but they're all technically clued ... once you do the name trade thing. The fact that the pre-trade answers are perfectly legitimate-looking words and phrases is remarkable. Nothing feels forced or awkward in the entire theme set. I resented slightly having to know "Gilmore Girls" lore today, especially for a clue as innocuous and infinitely clueable as INN (Lorelai's place of business on "Gilmore Girls"). The problem wasn't the clue/answer per se, it was the answer's position—probably the most load-bearing Down answer in the whole puzzle, with 2/3 of its letters running through those damned traded names. If that clue weren't in such a high-value position, it would've been just another pop culture thing I don't know, la di dah, who cares? Today, ugh. The only TV INN workers I know are the Newharts. I know that Rory (is it Rory) goes to Yale (?) at some point (?), but otherwise I don't know that show. Speaking of things I resent: yet another Yale clue for you today (56D: Certain Ivy Leaguer (ELI)). Like many Yale grads, the puzzle just can't stop mentioning Yale. It never ends. I wonder where the constructor went to sch- ... oh, hey, whaddyaknow? Shocking. (I'm just teasing) (it's true, though).

PHAT is very much "bygone" and should be marked as such (60A: Dope). To call the SLEIGH Dancer's "haul" is awfully, terribly, painfully forced, especially as you're already desperately trying to misdirect solvers with "Dancer" (on its surface, not obviously a reindeer name). I guess the thing that you are hauling is your HAUL? Sigh. OK. I think of HAUL as your total take: say, of candy at Halloween, or medals at a dancing competition (if you're a dancer, and not a Dancer). They did that hide-a-name-at-the-beginning-of-the-clue thing again with 34D: Monk's style (BEBOP). All clues start with capital letters, so there's no reason you'd read Dancer or Monk as proper nouns in their respective clues. Mask the capital, fool the solver, trick as old as time. Oldie but a goodie. I definitely thought "monks have style now?" Even after I realized Monk could be a name, I somehow ended up thinking of the wrong Monk:

Explainers:

• 4A: Airport acquisitions (STAMPS) — jeez, this is brutal. STAMPS are "acquired" ... in your passport, if you are flying internationally. Lots of context left out of this clue. Very Saturday-level stuff.
• 31: Hanger-on (LEECH) — in addition to the fact that I still can't spell LEECH (or, to be more accurate, can't distinguish between LEECH and LEACH), I had trouble here because the clue seems like a stretch. I mean, an actual LEECH does "hang on" you (I got some on me in a river in Oregon once—freaky). But metaphorically, I don't think "hangers-on" are necessarily LEECHes. It's a jump from mere hanger-on to actively soul- / energy- / money- (if not blood-) sucking LEECH.
• 40A: Staff note (MEMO) — another misdirect. Clue looks musical. Isn't.
• 50A: Sidekick of 1950s TV (TONTO) — Vino TINTO is red wine in Spanish cuisine. TINTO is a word you see on wine labels a lot. Just ... throwing that out there.

• 27D: "Wild" ingredient in some beers (YEAST) — had the "Y" and first thought, swear to god, was "... YUCCA?"
• 22D: U.S. city where the frozen margarita was invented (DALLAS) — again, just brutal Saturday-level cluing. I just made a "U.S. city" out of whatever scraps I could turn up in this word.
• 47D: He played Mary Richards's boss at WJM-TV (ASNER) — Would've been way harder as [Famed Grant portrayer]. Or [Emmy-winning Grant portrayer]. Something like that. As is, this was one of the gimmes for me today. Did a full "MTM" watch earlier this year. About as good as the live-action network sitcom ever got.
• 61A: Roger's cousin ("YES, SIR!") — "Roger" as in the affirmative ("received and understood") in radio communication.
• 39A: Loud kiss (SMACK) — Hey, look, it's SMACK again. Back-to-back SMACK. Return of the SMACK. Mwah. Nice.

Hope you survived (and enjoyed) today's puzzle. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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