Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle: Amsay Ezersky

Constructor: Amsay Ezersky (so, Sam Ezersky, then)

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: "Ixnay That!" — familiar phrases made wacky by "translating" the last word into Pig Latin:

Theme answers:

NOT YOUR AVERAGE O.J. (22A: One of the better morning beverages?) (base phrase: "not your average Joe")
THE EIGHTH UNDERWAY (37A: Just one inning left after this?) (base phrase: "the 8th Wonder (of the World)")
EXTRA OLD BAY (60A: Seasoning preference when eating Maryland blue crab?) (base phrase: "extra-bold") (???)
JUMBO ENTREE (70A: Two-pound tomahawk steak, for instance?) (base phrase: "Jumbotron")
TO EBAY OR NOT TO EBAY (93A: "Do I *really* wanna start an online bidding war? Hmm..."?) (base phrase: "To be or not to be")
TOSS IN THE ASHTRAY (110A: Give an extra perk to a cigarette smoker?) (base phrase: "toss in the trash")
ALL-TIME AU LAIT (15D: One of the best coffee beverages ever?) (base phrase: "all-time low")
EMOTIONAL XRAY (53D: What might confirm the worst for an athlete's injury?) (why is an "athlete" involved here—confusing?) (base phrase: "emotional wrecks")

Word of the Day: GIMLET (74D: Vodka-and-lime cocktail) —

The gimlet (/ˈɡɪmlət/) is a cocktail made of gin and lime cordial. A 1928 description of the drink was: gin, and a spot of lime. A description in the 1953 Raymond Chandler novel The Long Goodbye stated that "a real gimlet is half gin and half Rose's lime juice and nothing else." This is in line with the proportions suggested by The Savoy Cocktail Book (1930), which specifies one half gin and one half lime juice. Some modern tastes are less sweet, and generally provide for up to four parts gin to one part lime cordial. (wikipedia) (my emph.)

• • •

Look, we can argue about martinis all day. Some, like me, would say a martini is made with gin, and that if you make a similar drink with vodka, then it's called a vodka martini. You need the qualifier to distinguish it from a real martini. But if you told me you were drinking a "martini" and it contained vodka, not gin, I wouldn't blink (unless you tried to serve me one, in which case I'd blink many times and then say 'no thank you'). The idea of a martini with vodka is commonplace, even if it's not to my taste. Not So The GIMLET. A GIMLET is made with gin. Originally, famously. Yes, there are variations, and one of those is (apparently) the vodka GIMLET, but it is decidedly a variation. It's as much of a lie to say that a GIMLET contains vodka as it is to say it contains lemon juice (a Schumann's gimlet) or bitters (a Bennett) or Pimm's No. 1 (a Pimmlet!). The GIMLET is, famously, a gin drink. That is why vodka is mentioned nowhere in the introductory description on wikipedia. I care more about this than most because the drink gets special attention in The Long Goodbye, which is my favorite novel. It is the only novel I reread regularly (annually, every November, without fail). The GIMLET recipe given in the novel (quoted in the Word of the Day description above: "half gin and half Rose's lime juice and nothing else") is atrocious. Terry Lennox tells Marlowe "They beat martinis hollow," but actually they're fatally cloying. Undrinkable. You gotta shift the proportions radically in the direction of the gin, and use fresh lime juice, plus a little simple syrup. But no matter. The basic ingredients are the basic ingredients and they are gospel. What today's clue describes is a vodka GIMLET, not a GIMLET per se. No no no. Vodka shmodka. Terrible clue. OK, now that that's out of the way...

This puzzle is very much not for me, but I know it will have its adherents and proponents. For me, figuring out all the themers was a fussy exercise, one that was not terribly entertaining. It's a one-note theme (you just make the last word Pig Latin??) and it goes on and on. I guess some of the resulting phrases are funny. Most of the clues are kind of tortured. I still don't know what "extra bold" is supposed to be, or mean. What kind of a base phrase is that? As far as theme-answer inventiveness, I think I'm most fond of THE EIGHTH UNDERWAY today. It involves a very surprising change of meaning and context, and is wacky in the extreme (which is the only way to be wacky, imho). TO EBAY OR NOT TO EBAY thinks it's the cleverest, but double a meh change is just 2xmeh. Again, enjoyment here is going to depend largely on how much Pig Latin oat-flays your oat-bay.

The fill has highs and lows. The symmetrical and alliterative PILSENER PARASITE pairing was a high. SOLUM is kind of a low (first appearance in 30 years, only third appearance all time) (the earlier clues were [Soil layer] (?) and [Land, to a lawyer] (!?!). I had SOLUS here at first, which is also [Latin for "only"] (masculine instead of neuter). Regrettable fill. Also regrettable: MELT ON. Having trouble conceiving of when you'd use that phrase. Like SOLUM, we haven't seen it for 30 years, and the last time it appeared, it had an even more obscure clue: [Overcoat material]. Looks like MELTON was also the name of a famous tenor in the early/mid-20th century (James MELTON), but his fifth and last NYTXW appearance came in 1956. GAYETY, like the vodka GIMLET, is also a variant, and like the vodka GIMLET, ridiculous to me (28D: Merriment, in one spelling). Only one other appearance of the "word" in the NYTXW since 1991. Kind of scraping the barrel with some of the fill today. And then there's the debuts, which are ... well, in the case of BABUR, I'm not mad so much as stunned that someone so apparently important has never (not once) been in the NYTXW before (48D: Emperor who founded the Mughal Empire). A five-letter figure of historical importance with no crossword cred?? That's insane. Anyway, I'd love to complain about the obscurity of BABUR, but his wikipedia page is massive so "obscure" really needs the qualifier "to me!" today.

What else?:

18A: They're paving the way (ROAD GANG) — the "GANG" part makes them sound like prison labor (see "chain gang"). I thought the more common term was ROAD CREW, but it looks like that term is more associated with roadies. I would say ROAD CREW for the people working on rebuilding the roads, and I don't think I'm alone, but ROAD GANG is definitely the more prominent dictionary term.
47A: Character with a Jamaican accent in Disney's "The Little Mermaid" (SEBASTIAN) — I kept trying to think of his species, not his name, so I kept trying to put SEA at the front of his name ... but he's a crab, and SEA CRAB wouldn't fit.
36D: Minnesota county whose seat is St. Paul (RAMSEY) — my daughter lived in this county for a time and yet ... pffft. I had no idea what the answer was here.
23D: French city from which a soup gets its name (VICHY) — Vichyssoise, which means "the ssoise that comes from VICHY." Actually "oise" is just an adjectival suffix denoting that something is from a place. Salade niçoise is from Nice, for instance.
54A: Threads, e.g. (APP) — Meta's attempt at a social media app to rival Twitter (or "X"). It's basically Facebook Twitter, as I understand it. I don't get it. But I'll probably be on it at some point. God knows I've been on everything else (except Tik-Tok—that would feel too much like hanging out at a high school ... not appropriate behavior for a 55yo man). Anyway, my wife had no idea what the answer to this clue could be. My daughter, on the other hand, has no idea who Michael STIPE is (I have failed as a musical guide to my child). It's fun to watch them solve puzzles and compare their struggles. Fun for me, anyway.
104A: What Pomeranians do (YAP) — if you wrote in YIP, you are correct, we are correct. Little dogs yip. Here's proof (warning: this "song" will haunt you)

77A: Prescriptions, for short (RXS) — do you actually say this "word," or just write it out. It's the only crossword answer I can think of where I know what the letters mean but I would never say them and don't believe I've heard them said. "Rexes?" "Irkses?" "Ar Exes?" I'm just gonna say "meds."
90D: Paramount+ docuseries with real-life crime stories (FBI TRUE) — ???? LOL "Paramount+ docuseries." I'm all for learning new things but this is the least interesting pop cultural thing to learn that I have encountered in a while. Who wants this in their grid? Who asked for this? CBS already has like 75 "FBI" branded series, did we need this one? I'd rather learn all the characters in the Marioverse than keep CBS/Paramount's cruddy line-up straight.
70D: Many-time N.B.A. All-Star Tatum (JAYSON) — I was able to work this out but my wife was not and not having that "J" was really costing her in the center (last I checked ... she's probably done by now).
46D: Greek goddess of the night (NYX) — my wife didn't know this one either, which kept the "X" out of reach—yet another hindrance to her working out the center of the puzzle (the only part she had left the last I checked). Sorry I'm outing your struggles here, honey. You're just so ... illustrative.

That's all. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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