What parallel lines never do / TUES 2-22-22 / Beowulf's first combatant / Lawyer's org. / Birthplace of Zeus, in myth / Chatterbox's "gift"

Hello! It’s Clare for the final Tuesday in February (already, somehow). I kept busy the last couple of weeks by watching the Olympics, even if they were slightly disappointing (definitely not you, Nathan and Chloe and Jessie and Erin!). I’ll fight anyone who has anything negative to say about Mikaela Shiffrin, who’s absolutely perfect and is definitely the GOAT even if she didn’t get any medals this time around. With the Olympics now over and football done with, I guess I’ll go full tilt on Liverpool and my Golden State Warriors! Anywho, on to the puzzle!

Constructor: Jacob McDermott

Relative difficulty: Challenging

THEME: TUESDAY (36A: Calendar column ... or a punny hint to the circled squares) — Each circle has a TWO in it; together, the circles make this a TWOs day (or, Tuesday). Tuesday is also the second column in a workweek, and connecting the five circles forms a 2 – something that the online app does for the solver and that print solvers can imagine on their own.

Theme answers:

• 13A: Near the North or South Pole, say (AT WORLD’S END) / 6D: Sign on a vintage appliance at a flea market, maybe (IT WORKS) 
• 21A: Well-trodden, as a path (FOOTWORN) / 3D: "American Gothic" artist (GRANT WOOD) 
• 22A: Communicated through channels (SENT WORD) / 14D: Lead-in to "Be happy" (DON’T WORRY) 
• 52A: "I'm speechless!" (JUST WOW) / 43D: Foster professional connections (NETWORK) 
• 54A: Bad, but better than the alternatives (LEAST WORST) / 41D: Home of the Texas Motor Speedway, with seating for more than 150,000 spectators (FORT WORTH)

Word of the Day: SEALE (32D: Bobby of the Black Panthers) —

Robert George Seale (born October 22, 1936) was an American political activist and author. In 1966, he co-founded the Black Panther Party with fellow activist Huey P. Newton. Founded as the "Black Panther Party for Self-Defense", the Party's main practice was monitoring police activities and challenging police brutality in Black communities, first in Oakland, California, and later in cities throughout the United States. (Wiki)

 

• • •

Well, this puzzle was just two clever! On 2/22/22 and the second day of the week, the circles are filled with twos and can be connected to form a 2. Hats off to the constructor for the ingenuity! It’s highly unusual to see a rebus on a Tuesday (last one was six years ago), but it definitely worked given that, well, it had to, because this particular puzzle couldn’t have run on a Thursday or, for that matter, on 2/24/22. I found this puzzle to be fairly challenging because of the rebus thrown in there (when I was very much not expecting it) and to a lesser extent because the fill was harder than normal for a Tuesday. 

I got off to a bit of a rough start because the first theme answer I tried was 13A: AT WORLD’S END, but I put in “world’s end” instead, which fit the space. I got confused again at the rebus square for 3D, because I wasn’t positive who the artist of “American Gothic” was — I had an idea, but not seeing the rebus just yet made me question myself. So, it took me a bit to figure out what was going on in the puzzle and then really get going, mainly with DON’T WORRY (14D). 

The place I struggled the most was in the middle of the puzzle — I didn’t know SHIRR (32A: Bake, as eggs) at all, despite considering myself pretty experienced in the kitchen; I’ve read about SEALE (32D), but I couldn’t for the life of me remember his name in the moment; I couldn’t make out whether it was ELIDE (23D: Skip over) or maybe “elude”; and INANE (40A: Like much Three Stooges humor) just wouldn’t come to me. I also messed myself up a bit (this seems to have happened a lot to me in today’s puzzle) with 53D: Well informed about because I tried to make it “in on” instead of UP ON. If someone made that mistake and then didn’t know JODI (52D) Picoult (thankfully, I do), I could see that section being challenging. FSIX (41A: Shortcut to highlighting the address bar on most internet browsers) was hard because I’ve never once in my life used that supposed shortcut (it’s also a rather ugly answer), but I managed to puzzle it out because I knew ONYX (26D: Shade of black) coming down. 

That’s all to say that I struggled here and there with the puzzle, so it took me a couple minutes over my average time for a Tuesday. But, I’ve gotta say, it was worth the slight slog for this theme on the perfect day — and for getting to see the “2” in the puzzle appear once I finished. It does kind of suck for people who solve the puzzle in the paper because they won’t get to see the nice graphic, but maybe they can find a pretty marker and draw the number themselves!

Misc.:

• I thought the clues/answers for 38A: Pen that’s full of oink? as STY and 64A: Third degrees, for short as PHDS to be quite clever. 
• Ugh, I’m pretty tired of seeing 50D: These: Sp. in a puzzle. It could be estos or estas — there’s no way to know which of those it’ll be just from the clue. 
• For some reason, my instinct when I saw the clue for 5D: TV’s “The Good __” was to not look at the number of spaces and try to make “Place” fit instead of WIFE, even though “The Good Wife” is one of my favorite TV shows! I haven’t rewatched it in a bit, though, since going to law school, so I’m wondering how accurate all the legal aspects really are (I’m suspecting not at all). 
• I distinctly remember finishing JODI Picoult’s novel, “My Sister’s Keeper,” because I decided to try to finish it in school. So, there I sat in my 7th grade science class with Mrs. Davis, sitting in the back of the room and reading the book under the table and silently crying because the end of the book is SO sad.
  

Happy four-day week, and I’ll see ya in March! 

Signed, Clare Carroll, a solver who is now up 2 late and is 2 tired for (more) words

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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Title character in a Tyler Perry film franchise / MON 2-21-22 / Relatively safe investment security / Israeli statesman Abba / Jungle vine

Constructor: Natalie Murphy

Relative difficulty: Challenging (***for a Monday***)

THEME: Presidents' Day — theme answers = phrases that have the same initials as US presidents (the number of the relevant president appears in parentheses at the end of each theme clue):

Theme answers:

• JUST FOR KICKS (JFK) (17A: On a whim [#35])
• LEVI'S BLUE JEANS (LBJ) (23A: Denim pants with a red tab label [#36]
• FAMILY DINING ROOM (FDR) (38A: Where domestic meals are enjoyed [#32])
• "HAVING SAID THAT ..." (HST) (48A: "On the other hand ..." [#33])
• GOING WAY BACK (GWB) (59A: In the distant past [#43])

Word of the Day: ZUMBA (11D: Dance-based fitness program) —

Zumba is a fitness program that involves cardio and Latin-inspired dance. It was founded by Colombian dancer and choreographer Beto Pérez in 2001, and by 2012, it called itself the largest international branded fitness program in the world. (wikipedia)

• • •

Alright, so let's start with stuff I liked. Three of these theme answers are really wonderful standalone answers that I would love to see in any puzzle: JUST FOR KICKS, GOING WAY BACK, and especially "HAVING SAID THAT..." If it took presidential monograms to turn up these phrases, then on some level, I guess this theme was worth it. Having said that ... the theme is just OK. GWB stands out like a sore thumb—just not nearly as 3-initial-worthy as the other entries. The first three are solid, then HST comes along and is like "what about me, I'm in crosswords!" and you're like, "sigh, fine, OK," but then GWB also wants to get in the car and it's like, no. No, this is not a clown car, we are full up. I'm also not really sure about the strength of FAMILY DINING ROOM as an answer. How many dining rooms do you people have!? There's the family room, and the dining room, but the FAMILY DINING ROOM is pushing it all a little far. I'm sure the phrase exists, but I'm also sure its currency is weak compared to the other theme entries. But on the whole, the theme is fine. It holds up. It's about presidents, obliquely, and it's Presidents Day, technically, so there we are. There we are. Sadly, there is the rest of the grid to contend with, and that is where things get very, very rough. Not sure where to start. Well, there's the names. Just an avalanche of names, many of them very crosswordesey, but mainly just ... so many. This puzzle starts with three names, bam bam bam (in the Acrosses). Then it treats us to A-LIST and AABOND, bam bam. But back to names: JAKOB (!) JONG DOWD MILLA (!) OLAV AKELA  ESAI EBAN, just an absolute crosswordese and/or "haven't thought of them in decades" onslaught. And then the rest of the crosswordese, some of which I haven't seen in a while: YEGG! LIANA!! ALIA ATTA ATESTS (more "A"s!!). And then DO A SET (right before you EAT A SANDWICH, presumably). The puzzle was relentless in its punishingly dated (or just plain odd) fill. If your fill isn't reasonably polished, the best theme in the world isn't going to save the solving experience. This would've been a tolerable experience with a completely refilled grid. The theme holds up today, but not much else does.

I had no idea ZUMBA still existed. Last I heard of it was sometime in 2012, I think. I had a friend who went to ZUMBA classes. Then she moved away and no one so much as mentioned ZUMBA to me ever again, in any context. I assumed it had gone the way of TAEBO (which, for all I know, is still all the rage ... somewhere). I do want to single out "I'M A FAN" (33A: "Love your work!") and especially "HI, HON" (48D: Spousal greeting) as fun little colloquial answers. I'm a fan of both. I wish more of the grid had that kind of personality. I had UNAPT (UGH, that non-word keeps haunting me) before UNFIT (26D: Not suitable, as for a job), and, most obstructive of all, I had A LONG WAY BACK before GOING WAY BACK (59A: In the distant past [#43]); that one Really felt right. Otherwise, not hard, just slowish for a Monday. Enjoy your day off if you've got one. Otherwise, just, you know, enjoy your day. See you tomorrow. Please enjoy this random outraged tweet.

Yeah, why would anyone know who the (zipless) fuck wrote that book!? 

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld 

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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