Star Wars character who wears Mandalorian underwear I mean armor / THU 5-11-23 / Onetime extravaganzas that included diving displays and water ballets / Measurement whose name derives from the Latin for elbow / Expression of relativity depicted five times in this puzzle / 2020 Taylor Swift song with the lyrics "You'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out" / Selene's Roman counterpart / Title lyric after ours is a love in a Jimmy Dorsey hit

Constructor: Sheldon Polonsky

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: E EQUALS [MC] SQUARED  (7D: Expression of relativity depicted five times in this puzzle) — famous EINSTEINIAN (36A: Like some concepts in theoretical physics) equation represented visually five times in this grid by squares that contain an "E" in the Across answer but an "MC" in the Down; thus "E" and "MC" are "squared" (i.e. put into one square):

Theme answers:

• SWIMCAP / HEADER (2D: Bit of latex pool attire / 20A: Certain soccer shot)
• ARMCANDY / AQUACADES (!?!!?!) (12D: Celeb's red-carpet companion, perhaps / 18A: Onetime extravaganzas that included diving displays and water ballets)
• E EQUALS MC SQUARED / EINSTEINIAN (7D: Expression of relativity depicted five times in this puzzle / 36A: Like some concepts in theoretical physics)
• DREAMCAR / BENCHMARK (39D: Vehicle you'd buy if money were no object / 56A: Standardized point of reference)
• SIMCITY / SULLEN (45D: Video game whose working title was Micropolis / 54A: Ill-tempered)

Word of the Day: E EQUALS MC SQUARED  —

The famous equation E = mc^2, derived by Einstein, means that energy is equal to mass times the speed of light squared. Equivalently, it also means that any amount of mass is equal to energy divided by the speed of light squared. This little equation is central to the theory of special relativity, and also explains how nuclear fusion and fission can generate energy. // In a famous paper written in 1905, Albert Einstein discovered an equality between mass and energy. He found that the conservation of mass (a famous and important law in physics) is the same as the conservation of energy, and vice versa. These insights were a part of his development of the theory of special relativity, which describes the relativity of motion, particularly at near light speed. (livescience.com)

• • •

The central (literally central!) idea here is ingenious, but unlike with matter converted to energy, there's no real ... pop. I got the E/MC "square" thing very early and ... that was pretty much that. That's the joke. That's the gag. Just gotta find more squares like that. Now, the one thing this puzzle does have that's pretty impressive is architectural—that is, the equation itself is a perfect grid-spanning 15 letters long *if* you smush the MC into one box, *and* when you smush the "MC" into one box, that box sits dead center. So the revealer dramatically spans the grid and is itself a theme answer, with the thematically appropriate EINSTEINIAN providing the "E" cross, boom, right in the middle. So, structurally, that is very interesting. Gives the puzzle a certain ELEGANCE. But it didn't make the puzzle any more fun to solve. In fact, the revealer was, for me, at that point, completely redundant. I got SWIMCAP/HEADER with very little problem, so I knew exactly what was going on. "Why would "MC" be smushed into one square when the cross is just ... Oh, it's an E = MC SQUARED theme. Cute." So the revealer revealed nothing—just made the puzzle a lot easier. 

["What is SWIEAP!? ... oh ... SWIEAP. I get it."]

Finding the other "MC" squares was kind of fun, a little adventure, but there wasn't really any challenge there except for the absolutely painful challenge of trying to work my way to whatever the hell AQUACADES are (18A: Onetime extravaganzas that included diving displays and water ballets). Just ... gruesome. ICE CAPADES, I've heard of. AQUACADES??? Yuck. When you have to reach back into ye olden ("onetime") terminology to pull off your theme, it kinda harshes the vibe. ARM CANDY is great, but oof, AQUACADES. I don't really get why the puzzle made the "MC" squares all symmetrical. I know this might seem elegant, but usually you get much better results in the *fill* (you know, the bulk of the puzzle) if you give yourself leeway with the rebus squares. I feel like AQUACADES is a symmetry casualty. BENCHMARK works perfectly, a very inconspicuous answer, but if you insist on that "MC" square being in *exactly* the same (rotationally symmetrical) position in the corresponding themer, well, you end up with AQUACADES, I guess. Anyway, theme idea is ingenious, theme execution is OK, with only the "MC" hunt providing any real interest. I admire the architecture of this one, but it wasn't terribly fun to solve. 

Only two thorny parts for me today. "MAD WOMAN" peaked at 47 on the US charts. If you are a Fan (and millions are) then that was a gimme for you, but my fandom is just casual and definitely lowercase-"f," so that song got by me (as far as her most recent songs go, my knowledge drops off quick after "Anti-Hero") (11D: 2020 Taylor Swift song with the lyrics "You'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out"). That made the NE a little more challenging than it might be (and it was already mucky from the AQUACADES nonsense). CMDR gunked it up a bit more, as did CRASS, with its ridiculously overdramatic clue (31D: Swearing up a storm, say)—if you're swearing up a *storm*, seems like you left mere CRASSness behind. Anyway, slowish there, slowish again around KAI (??) / PEDI, both because KAI means nothing to me and I had PEDI as PERM. Is KAI supposed to be a weird bonus themer? KAI Bird is the author of an Oppenheimer bio ... and Oppenheimer is the "father of the atom bomb" ... and E=mc2 is the "equation that gave birth to the atom bomb" ... and the movie OPPENHEIMER (which is *based* on the KAI Bird bio) is coming out this summer ... wait a minute, is this puzzle sponsored content? *Waaaaaaait* a minute, did Christopher Nolan write this puzzle? Am I in a Christopher Nolan movie right now? How would I know? How deep does this theme go?

The fill on this one is largely nondescript. We get Orion again, weirdly (HUNTER) (46D: Orion, for one) and, probably more weirdly, me get REMAP again—both things we've already seen this week. I had SEC before SEG (47A: Div.), and that's among the most interesting non-thematic things that happened to me. Hope this one AROUSED you somewhat more than it did me—though, again, I respect the concept, and nod admiringly at the central crossing. The wordplay involved in the basic rebus idea (i.e. putting E and MC into one "square"), and the arrangement of the revealer, with its own rebus square sitting dead center, both elevate this above your run-of-the-mill rebus. See you tomorrow.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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Slangy SoCal dialect / SUN 2-27-22 / Rhea with four Emmys / Best-selling crime novelist Gregg / sea captain robber thief 2003 / true fellow is a find 1946 / M Ryan what's her yell 1989 / REM alarming to the teens 1984 / They have massive calves

Constructor: Sheldon Polonsky

Relative difficulty: Easy, maybe Easy-Medium

THEME: "Cinemagrams" — movies clued as (allegedly) apt anagrams of their names:

Theme answers:

• "PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN" (22A: "Sea captain: robber, thief (2003)")
• "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE" (34A: "True fellow is a find (1946)")
• "THE TOWERING INFERNO" (52A: "Re: town fire one night (1974)")
• "THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA" (75A: "Evil Streep had award (2006)")
• "WHEN HARRY MET SALLY" (91A: "M. Ryan, what's her yell? (1989)")
• "A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET" (110A: "R.E.M.: alarming to the teens (1984)")

Word of the Day: LEON Bridges (39D: Soul singer Bridges) —

Todd Michael "Leon" Bridges (born July 13, 1989) is an American soul singer, songwriter and record producer. He is best known for his 2015 song "Coming Home", which received regular airplay and was also a Top 10 Most Viral Track on Spotify. Bridges' debut album, also titled Coming Home, was released on June 23, 2015, on Columbia Recordsand subsequently nominated for Best R&B Album at the 58th Annual Grammy Awards.

• • •

I'm never going to feel much admiration or affection for a theme that can basically be lifted from a sporcle quiz (find at least two of today's anagrams here, for instance). I always assume that the "jokes" are lifted (borrowed, if you like) from somewhere else, and anyway, all you end up with, whether the anagrams are original or not, is a few movie titles in your grid. And today, I didn't even need to really read the clues very well. Just get a few crosses, and the very famous movie titles just slid right in. Even if I decide I am a lover of this type of humor, and the concept is the greatest thing I've ever heard of, still I don't know how any of these produce more than a polite, slightly forced smile—except for that last one. The clue for "A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET" is eerily on the nose; plus the phrase "the teens" is just inherently funny to me. So my most generous assessment is that one of these six themers is good. That said, the clue for "THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA" barely makes any sense at all. Streep didn't even win the Oscar for that role (she did win a Golden Globe, but come on, no one takes those seriously). The "Wonderful Life" clue is dull, the "Harry / Sally" one is tortured ("M." Ryan?). You get the idea. All hail Freddy Kruger. The rest of these can go straight to video (a phrase that used to connote inferior quality, kids; ask your parents).

What in the world is "ERE while"!?!?! (32A: Quaint lead-in to while). It's erstwhile, and ERE long. I read (and teach) a lot of stuff that has "ERE" in it, and "ERE while" does not strike my ears as very in-the-language for 1622 (to say nothing of 2022). Bizarre cluing move, that one. And crossing FORE!? Which is clued as [Front], which, frankly, is also pretty "quaint" ... that little section was unpleasant (and also, unfortunately, the last section I filled in). And then there's YESTER (56D: Lead-in to day or year)... [weary exhale]. The fill is definitely struggling in places today. I want to like VALSPEAK, but it's weird—in a puzzle like this, that doesn't appear to have a very up-to-date sensibility or strong sense of slanginess, I just assume that VALSPEAK was the semi-accidental byproduct of software armed with a giant wordlist. Still, however it got in the puzzle, it's definitely one of the high points—and a NYTXW debut (84D: Slangy SoCal dialect). My general aversion to billionairism means that things like 1.3 million-dollar CIGARs (99D: The world's most expensive one, the Gurkha Royal Courtesan, costs over $1.3 million) and the names of the characters on "Succession"  (89A: One of the Roys on "Succession" = KENDALL) are going to be meaningless to me (this is not a knock against "Succession," which is very good, I hear—I just can't stand to watch another second of filmed entertainment detailing the lives of the morally decrepit 0.0001 percent ... at least not in its modern-day incarnation; which is to say, I am happily watching HBO's "Gilded Age"). As usual, the names in this puzzle were my only real stumbling block, and "stumbling" is an overstatement today. The theme was so incredibly easy, and the themers so incredibly long, that the grid opened up quite readily and didn't give me any opportunities to get truly stuck. 

Bullets:

• 72D: Harvard dropouts, maybe? (ARS) — no letter looks dumber written out than "AR." This is one of the few times I'd say this, but I'm saying it: "Clue it as Latin, please."
• 20D: Onetime dentist's supply (ETHER) — this sounds like an erstwhile dentist just has some of the stuff lying around his garage. "Herb? Yeah, he retired, and now he just potters around the house ... you know, gardens, plays with his model trains, stockpiles ETHER..."
• 78D: Aid in putting together a fall collection (RAKE) — I like this clue. Nice fashion fake-out.
• 42D: School for the college-bound (PREP) — me: "... all of them?" This clue is weird. It's not 1950. All high schools PREP kids for college. I would've preferred [___ school] to this weird, unnecessarily snobby clue.
• 116A: "Louisiana ___," music show that helped launch Elvis's career ("HAYRIDE") — yikes, this pop culture obscurity crossed with AYA briefly felt threatening. But there was really no other way to go except with the "Y."

Last year, my friend Rachel Fabi organized a charity fundraising puzzle project called "These Puzzles Fund Abortion." Her fundraising efforts were so successful (> $60K raised in 2021) that she's back this year with "These Puzzles Fund Abortion Too"—fifteen original puzzles by top constructors, and all you gotta do is donate at least $15 to one of the seven abortion funds listed on their National Abortion Access Fund-A-Thon page. The need is dire (see Texas, the Supreme Court, etc.) and the puzzle quality is sure to be stellar. Here's the link. Go do it now before you forget. And here's Rachel's announcement of the project on Twitter:

The campaign page for "These Puzzles Fund Abortion Too" (#TPFA2) is available now! Donate between now and the pack drop on 3/1 to pre-order and ensure that you get your puzzles in the first release.https://t.co/0Xu393fNAM#FThon22 pic.twitter.com/H3qQEjFg8n

— Rachel Fabi, PhD (@faBioethics) February 25, 2022

March 1 pic.twitter.com/ScBAMhA4gA

— Rachel Fabi, PhD (@faBioethics) February 1, 2022

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday,

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld 

P.S. GLACIERS have massive calves (96A: They have massive calves) because when pieces of them break off, that's called "calving"

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Model Miranda / THU 6-10-21 / Biological cavity / Most expensive spice in the world by weight / Professor Moriarty's first name / Legendary queen once depicted on Tunisian currency

Constructor: Sheldon Polonsky

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: A to O — familiar phrases have long 'A' sound changed to long 'O' sound, with wacky results:

Theme answers:

• RENAISSANCE FOUR (17A: Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael?) (from Renaissance fair(e))
• MUSICAL CHORES (25A: Polishing the chandelier in "Phantom of the Opera" and laundering uniforms in "Hamilton"?) (from "musical chairs")
• NO TIME TO SPORE (44A: Result of a poorly planned invasion of the Body Snatchers?) (from "no time to spare")
• THE BAD NEWS BORES (58A: "I'm tired of all this negative media coverage"?) (from "The Bad News Bears")

Word of the Day: ANDY Richter (64A: Comedian Richter) —

Paul Andrew Richter (born October 28, 1966) is an American actor, comedian, writer, and late night talk show announcer. He appears as the sidekick for Conan O'Brien on each of the host's programs: Late Night, The Tonight Show on NBC, and Conan on TBS. He voiced Mort in the Madagascar film franchise and Ben Higgenbottom in the Nickelodeon animated television series The Mighty B!. [...] Since June 2019, Richter has his own podcast on the Earwolf network. [...] Richter currently holds the record for all-time highest one-day score on Celebrity Jeopardy!, winning $68,000 during a first round game of the 2009–10 season's "Jeopardy! Million Dollar Celebrity Invitational". His earnings were donated to the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. (wikipedia)

• • •

After totally failing to understand what RENAISSANCE FOUR was trying to do, I eventually hacked through MUSICAL CHORES and then literally, disappointedly exclaimed "it's just a sound-change puzzle!?" And it is. That's what it is. It's way too simple a concept for a Thursday, and worse, the wackiness just doesn't land. None of this is funny. The closest to funny is NO TIME TO SPORE, but only because it's so bizarre, not because it's particularly great. It's at least trying, is what I'm saying, where the others are just "hello, we are reporting for duty and following the theme to the letter, sir." This should've run yesterday, with somewhat easier clues, if it was going to run at all. On a more technical level, changing the part of speech of the wacky word in the last themer is really awkward. Luckily I didn't really read the clue—just waited for some kind of "bears"-related phrase to become visible, but making BORES a verb results in a clunky spoken phrase that is both implausible and banal, and it's especially incomprehensible considering none of the other wacky words have their parts of speech changed (n, n, v, respectively). BORES can be a noun, clue it as a noun. It's not going to improve the overall enjoyability of the puzzle much, but at least it's one less rough spot. 

Next, we need to talk about the NE corner, specifically this truly terrible crossing:

[Model Miranda]? No. I know the puzzle wants me to know ~two thousand model names, but there's a limit, apparently, and I have reached it. But *that* is not the problem. Maybe she's famous and I don't know her, fine. But (as I've said a million times): crosses crosses crosses. With proper nouns of non-universal fame, you have to watch the crosses, particularly the vowels! So ALLE is a very bad choice here (16A: Everybody: Ger.). In the end, I figured since ALLA was definitely Italian, it *probably* wasn't also the answer here in German, but KARR is definitely a real last name (ask Mary). And since ALLA is a real word from another European language, this whole set-up is just unnecessarily precarious. And for what? It's not like ALLE is good fill. It's lowest-quintile stuff, for sure. Just redo the whole corner. Betcha I can do it in a minute or so. Bet you can too. I did this in roughly zero seconds:

Which means there must be a ton of ways to fill this corner better than it's currently filled. Even if you think my REDO is a lateral move where quality is concerned (you're wrong, but entitled to your opinion), still, there's now a much more famous proper noun there, and no foreign word in the vowel crossing, so much less possibility for confusion. Now that I think about it, the BARR cluing possibilities are all kind of repulsive to me, so I would probably go with Johnny MARR of The Smiths, who maybe you know and maybe you don't, but, again: Fair Crosses! 

Had STILTS before SNIPES (5D: Marsh birds) and SCANTY before SPARSE (42D: Meager), the latter of which definitely cost me, time-wise (made it look like that third themer was going to end in SCORE, which had me looking for phrases that ended in "scare"...). I remembered Port-SALUT cheese today after absolutely not knowing it at all in some earlier puzzle (last year? last decade? what is time?) (34A: Port-___ (French cheese)). The puzzle did give me three four-letter answers I like quite a lot to finish things off: ANDY Richter, DIDO, and PHIL Hartman. So I was grateful that things ended on a high note. But mostly this was a misplaced and pedestrian theme, with insufficient wackiness and a really bad cross in one corner. See you tomorrow.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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