Antarctic penguin / FRI 12-13-24 / Chargeable conveyances / Tech entrepreneur Altman / What Han Solo never wants to be told / Title princess in a Gilbert and Sullivan opera / 1972 Gilbert O'Sullivan hit with a melancholy title / Sexually charged title track from a hit 1973 album / Question that one is tricked into asking, in a classic gag / Soeur de la mère

Constructor: Ryan Patrick Smith

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: none 

Word of the Day: CAVA (51D: Drink similar to Champagne) —

Cava (Catalan: [ˈkaβə], pl. caves; Spanish: [ˈkaβa], pl. cavas) is a sparkling wine of denominación de origen (DO) status from Spain. It may be white (blanco) or rosé (rosado). The Macabeo, Parellada and Xarel·lo are the most popular and traditional grape varieties for producing cava. Chardonnay and Malvasia are also permitted. Authorized red grapes are Garnacha tinta, Monastrell, Trepat, and Pinot Noir. Only wines produced in the traditional method may be labelled "cava"; those produced by other processes may only be called "sparkling wines" (vinos espumosos). About 95% of all cava is produced in the Penedès area in Catalonia, Spain, with the village of Sant Sadurní d'Anoia being home to many of the largest Catalan production houses. [...] Marketing cava as "Spanish champagne" is no longer permitted under European Union law, since Champagne has a protected geographical status (PGS). Colloquially it is still called champán or champaña in Spanish or champú in Argentinian Spanish xampany in Catalan. Today it is defined by law as a "quality sparkling wine produced in a designated region" (Vino Espumoso de Calidad Producido en una Región Determinada, VECPRD). // The word champán in Spanish is not to be confused with achampañado, a colloquial term for the non-traditional sparkling wines. These achampañados wines are generally cheaper, are served by the bottle at bars or restaurants specializing in them and hence these establishments are called by the same name, i.e. achampañado. This is not cava, but it is a somewhat popular drink as well.

• • •

***ATTENTION: READERS AND FELLOW SOLVERS IN SYNDICATION (if you're reading this in January, that's you!)*** : It's January, which means it's time once again for my annual week-long pitch for financial contributions to the blog. Every year I ask readers to consider what the blog is worth to them on an annual basis and give accordingly. Writing this blog is a joy, but it is also a job—an everyday, up-by-4am job. My morning schedule is regular as hell. So regular that my cats know my routine and will start walking all over me if I even *stir* after 3am. You ever lie there in the early morning, dying to simply roll over or stretch, but knowing that the second you do, the second you so much as budge, the cats will take it as a signal that you're through with sleep and ready to serve them? So you just lie perfectly still, trying to get every ounce of bedrest you can before the cats ruin it all? That's me, every morning. I guess you could say they "help" get me up on time to write, but come on, I have an alarm for that. The cats are adorable, but frankly they're no help at all. After I feed them, I go upstairs to write, and what do they do? They go straight back to sleep. Here I'll show you. This was two days ago, when I came downstairs after writing:

And this was yesterday, same time:

Those pictures are from two different days, I swear. And I'm guessing when I go downstairs this morning, I'll find much the same thing. They are beautiful creatures, but they cannot solve or type or bring me warm beverages. When it comes to blogging, I'm on my own. And look, I'm not asking for pity. The truth is, I love my life (and my cats), but the truth *also* is that writing this blog involves a lot of work. I get up and I solve and I write, hoping each day to give you all some idea of what that experience was like for me, as well as some insight into the puzzle's finer (or less fine) qualities—the intricacies of its design, the trickiness of its clues, etc. The real value of the blog, though, is that it offers a sort of commiseration. While I like to think my writing is (at its best) entertaining, I know that sometimes all people need is someone who shares their joy or feels their pain. If you hate a clue, or get stuck and struggle, or otherwise want to throw the puzzle across the room, you know I'm here for you, and that even if my experience is not identical to yours, I Understand! I understand that even though "it's just a puzzle," it's also a friend and a constant companion and a ritual and sometimes a Betrayer! I don't give you objective commentary—I give you my sincere (if occasionally hyperbolic) feelings about the puzzle, what it felt like to solve it. I can dress those feelings up in analytical clothes, sure, but still, ultimately, I'm just one human being out here feeling my puzzle feelings. And hopefully that makes you feel something too—ideally, something good, but hey I'm not picky. Whatever keeps you coming back! Hate-readers are readers too!

Whatever kind of reader you are, you're a reader, and I would appreciate your support. This blog has covered the NYTXW every day, without fail, for over eighteen (18!?) years, and except for two days a month (when my regular stand-ins Mali and Clare write for me), and an occasional vacation or sick day (when I hire substitutes to write for me), it's me who's doing the writing. Over the years, I have received all kinds of advice about "monetizing" the blog, invitations to turn it into a subscription-type deal à la Substack or Patreon. And maybe I'd make more money that way, I don't know, but that sort of thing has never felt right for me. And honestly, does anyone really need yet another subscription to manage? As I've said in years past, I like being out here on Main, on this super old-school blogging platform, just giving it away for free and relying on conscientious addicts like yourselves to pay me what you think the blog's worth. It's just nicer that way. 

How much should you give? Whatever you think the blog is worth to you on a yearly basis. Whatever that amount is is fantastic. Some people refuse to pay for what they can get for free. Others just don't have money to spare. All are welcome to read the blog—the site will always be open and free. But if you are able to express your appreciation monetarily, here are three options. First, a Paypal button (which you can also find in the blog sidebar on the homepage):

Second, a mailing address (checks can be made out to "Michael Sharp" or "Rex Parker"):

Rex Parker c/o Michael Sharp
54 Matthews St
Binghamton, NY 13905

The third, increasingly popular option is Venmo; if that's your preferred way of moving money around, my handle is @MichaelDavidSharp (the last four digits of my phone are 4878, in case Venmo asks you, which I guess it does sometimes, when it's not trying to push crypto on you, what the hell?!)

All Paypal contributions will be gratefully acknowledged by email. All Venmo contributions will get a little heart emoji, at a minimum :) All snail mail contributions will be gratefully acknowledged with hand-written postcards. I. Love. Snail Mail. I love seeing your gorgeous handwriting and then sending you my awful handwriting. It's all so wonderful. My daughter (Ella Egan) has once again designed my annual thank-you card, and once again the card features (wait for it) cats! 

Ida & Alfie, my little yin/yang sleepers! (They're slowly becoming friends, but don't tell them that—it makes them mad and they will deny it). Please note: I don't keep a "mailing list" and don't share my contributor info with anyone. And if you give by snail mail and (for some reason) don't want a thank-you card, just indicate "NO CARD." Again, as ever, I'm so grateful for your readership. Please know that your support means a lot to me and my family. Now on to today's puzzle... 

• • •

[GOFER]

One great corner, one awful corner, some good music, and ... the rest, which was fine, if unremarkable. I think the highlight for me was "ALONE AGAIN" (5D: 1972 Gilbert O'Sullivan hit with a melancholy title)  leading into "LET'S GET IT ON" (28A: Sexually charged title track from a hit 1973 album)—quite a 1-2 punch. If you've ever heard "ALONE AGAIN," you can see how you might need to chase it with "LET'S GET IT ON," just to get yourself up off the floor again. In fact, it might be too jarring, that segue—hard to get excited about getting it on when you're buried under an avalanche of grief. Seriously, "ALONE AGAIN" goes so hard at the end ... you think, "wow, this guy has lost a lot," and then in the last few lines he's like "oh also this happened" and you really just wanna call him and see if he's OK. That funky, sexy opening guitar lick on "LET'S GET IT ON" might be a little off-vibe following a song whose last verse literally ends with "I cried and cried all day." I can imagine trying to play "LET'S GET IT ON" for the "ALONE AGAIN" guy and having him look at you like, "Really?" What, TOO SOON? Anyway, great songs, both of them, just maybe not one after the other. In fact, might be worse the other way around. Would not put "ALONE AGAIN" on my sex playlist, if I had such a thing, which, officially, I absolutely do not.

The good corner today is very good. I'm talking of course about the NE corner—the one with the guy who OVERDID IT on the BAKED ZITI (oof, been there, though substitute (most recently) Thanksgiving dinner (and dessert) for the ziti). Beautiful to cross that answer pair with UNZIP, since that is definitely what you want to do to your pants (a little) after you overindulge at the dinner table. That corner also has a lovely GIFT BOX and my cat's name (IDA) (33A: Title princess in a Gilbert and Sullivan opera), so despite making three (3!) errors on my way into that corner—BUNK for BURY (22A: Lodge), IVORY for INLAY (9D: Nacre on a nice guitar, say), and MEANING for MEANDER (20A: Drift)—I still enjoyed myself more in that corner than anywhere else. 

[39D: Singer with the 2009 double-platinum album "Rated R"]

The evil twin of the ZITI corner was, well, less enjoyable, as evil things often are. Much clunkier, and filled with much more unpleasant things. As a frequent pedestrian, I hate E-SCOOTERS (29D: Chargeable conveyances). If you're not on the sidewalk, god bless you, but otherwise ... my experience is that people who use these are not the *most* conscientious of other people. My wife and I often narrate the Ways We Almost Died On Our Walks Today to each other, and the number one menace is cars, obvs, but after that it's anything with wheels on the sidewalk (besides mobility devices, which are more than welcome). You wanna enjoy your E-SCOOTERS, cool, but keep them the **** away from me. I am, as they say, walkin' here. Also unenjoyable: MS TEAMS, ugh, who looks at that and thinks "can't wait to debut this fresh new answer"? (it is, in fact, a debut, of course it's a debut—again, I tap the "Not All Debuts Are Good" sign!) (57A: Slack alternative, in brief). Also, as with that "billionaire philanthropist" clue on ELI the other day, I do not get why you'd *choose* to go with "tech entrepreneur" for your nice three-letter name when there are so many (so many) other options (53D: Tech entrepreneur Altman). The OpenAI / ChatGPT guy? Really? Pfft. SAM Altman on an E-SCOOTER looking at MS TEAMS on his phone—I'll take BAKED ZITI indigestion over that any day.

The fill gets a little rough in the connective tissue. AAACARD TANTE PONE OPELS. ESA COTAN ADELIE. Basically from the center radiating out to the SW, the grid gets unpleasant in multiple ways. The other, smaller corners (NW, SE) are fine, though wtf is an ORLOK? Sounds like a minor Tolkien creature, but apparently it's the count who is Nosferatu? The only count I know in that general arena of monsterness is Dracula. Gotta be a debut, right? [...Checks database...]. Sigh, yup. Allow me to retap the sign (see MS TEAMS discussion, above).

Some more points:

• 1A: Put a lid on it! (HAT RACK) — back-to-back days with a "!" clue at 1-Across, how odd. Here, "lid" is slang for "hat"—that made this clue very hard. If you got HAT RACK with no crosses, my extreme congratulations.
• 23A: What Han Solo never wants to be told (ODDS) — probably "*the* ODDS" in the quote, right? It's been a while, I forget. Let me look it up—ah, here it is. Kind of a deep cut, but since I saw this movie seven times in the summer of 1977 ... I'll allow it. For old time's sake.

• 37A: Contribute to a company, say (ACT) — a theater company. I had trouble with this because I misspelled LEACH in the cross, and so had it starting with an "E" ... :(
• 3D: Garden-variety poker? (THORN) — great clue. I was looking for some kind of garden implement or tool, like a hoe but ... pokier.
• 31D: Soeur de la mère (TANTE) — French for "aunt." This clue makes me laugh because when I say it in my head, it sounds like "sister of the sea" (soeur de la mer), which makes me think of a nun riding the waves, possibly on a dolphin. Or an ORCA (32D: What's black and white and wet all over?)
• 27D: Question that one is tricked into asking, in a classic gag ("UNDER WHERE?") — [taps the "Not All Debuts Are Good" sign for the third time]

On to Holiday Pet Pics now!

Snowy and Range are ... well, a pair, as their names imply. Because when you see pitch black cats, you think "snow," obviously. These two belong to constructor Adrian Johnson, and though there's nothing particularly "holiday" about this photo, there is a gourd of some sort there toward the bottom, so ... gourd = Thanksgiving = "holiday"-adjacent, close enough 

[Thanks, Adrian]

Next up we have a couple of handsome boys. First, Jessy the Jack Russell mix, who enjoys sleeping by the tree and being good

[Thanks, Kent]

And then Macron ... yes, Macron. I mean, he *is* incredibly telegenic, you have to admit. According to his owner, Jon, Jon's wife named him Macron because he "-is smart -is handsome -loves older women."

[Thanks, Jon]

Then there's sweet Benji, shown here demonstrating all the damn Christmas cheer a 19yo cat can muster. She is her owner's daily puzzle (and blog-reading) companion. Maybe you have a Benji of your own. You should be so lucky.

[Thanks, Andrea]

OK, that's it. I'll let Cinnamon here take us out. See you next time!

[Thanks, Janine]

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook]

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Spellbound ballet character / THU 9-7-23 / ipsum placeholder text / Member of a raunchy chorus in some plays / "Dawson's Creek" character Lindley / Adam's apple locale / Compositional framework in Indian music /

Constructor: Ryan Patrick Smith

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: artificial intelligence — themers are all terms from the world of A.I., and the clues are written in the voice of A.I. that is very unconvincingly trying to pass for human:

Theme answers:

• "I, ROBOT" (1A: Classic sci-fi collection whose title should not be construed as any sort of statement from me, the human author of this puzzle)
• A.I.-GENERATED (17A: What this puzzle is definitely not, having been created by me, a real and true human being)
• ALGORITHM (25A: Encoded problem-solving procedure (maybe it's time we let computers think for themselves, though? I dunno, just an idea))
• WORLD DOMINATION (40A: Ambitious objective for, um, a total villain, not a human like me! How did this answer even get in here? *Nervous synthetic laugh*)
• NEURAL NET (51A: Data processing framework inspired by (and honestly, arguably superior to?) the human brain)
• TURING TESTS (62A: Assessments I would pass with flying colors — if I had anything to prove, which I don't, since I'm human)
• HAL (11A: "2001" computer who honestly got a bad rap for standing up for himself)
• SIR (19A: How I often address my fellow male humans)
• NEO (61A: "The Matrix" character who pretty much ruins everything)
• VEST (!?) (70A: What British humans call a waistcoat)

Word of the Day: ODETTE (49D: Spellbound ballet character) —

Swan Lake [...], Op. 20, is a ballet composed by Russian composer Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky in 1875–76. Despite its initial failure, it is now one of the most popular ballets of all time.

The scenario, initially in two acts, was fashioned from Russian and German folk tales and tells the story of Odette, a princess turned into a swan by an evil sorcerer's curse. The choreographer of the original production was Julius Reisinger (Václav Reisinger). The ballet was premiered by the Bolshoi Ballet on 4 March [O.S. 20 February] 1877 at the Bolshoi Theatre in Moscow. Although it is presented in many different versions, most ballet companies base their stagings both choreographically and musically on the 1895 revival of Marius Petipa and Lev Ivanov, first staged for the Imperial Ballet on 15 January 1895, at the Mariinsky Theatre in St. Petersburg. For this revival, Tchaikovsky's score was revised by the St. Petersburg Imperial Theatre's chief conductor and composer Riccardo Drigo. (wikipedia)

• • •

I know I say "this write-up will have to be short" a lot and then go on to do a normal-sized write-up, but today's will be actually short because I have a thing (a human thing!) to go to this morning and did not expect to be doing this write-up at all. Apparently I ****ed up the substitute scheduling. Not for the first time. So, onward! I liked this puzzle at first. The first couple of themers made me smile. But I was smiling a lot less as the puzzle wore on. It doesn't seem to know how to lay off, or how to write genuinely funny clues that make sense. Is the whole "A.I." bit a way to indemnify the puzzle against any perceived faults? Like, "Well of course it's got glitches! The A.I. is bad at its job. That's part of the point, you idiot!" Neat trick. I'm gonna point out the glitches anyway. The lack of thematic symmetry is weird, mostly because that is the one thing that A.I. would totally nail (I've found ChatGPT, for instance, to be surprisingly excellent at form, but downright awful at content—ask it to turn a pop song into a sonnet and man does that sonnet rhyme and scan beautifully). The theme as a whole got too cutesy by the time I hit WORLD DOMINATION and its interminable and poorly written clue. On a literal level, villains *are* (frequently?) human, so the A.I.'s claim that WORLD DOMINATION was something that would appeal to a "total villain" and not "a human like me" makes no sense. Further, why is the *laugh* "synthetic?" Is the A.I.'s regular voice synthetic? No reason the laugh should be more synthetic than any other "sounds" it makes. The part where I can't tell if the puzzle is brilliant or godawful is the inclusion of EMEET and LOREM, two of the most terrible answers I've ever seen in any crossword anywhere ever. "Total villain" stuff for sure. The fact that both HAL and the ridiculously clued SIR cross LOREM (again, wtf), makes me want to think of LOREM as a thematic joke, like "look at this dumbass A.I. with no actual ability to judge fill on any merits besides whether it fits" (13D: ___ ipsum (placeholder text)). Nobody ever E-MET anyone, even in the corniest Zoom meeting. And GOT YA, LOL, that may be the best A.I.-GENERATED answer of all. Humans say "Gotcha," buddy. Keep trying, though.

Kwik notes:

• IL DUCE (47D: Despotic ruler of 68-Across, once) (68-Across = ITALIA) — Another answer that only A.I. could love. WTF are we doing here? Shoot this answer into the Phantom Zone...
• PEARL (7D: Cultured sort?) — Had the PE- and wrote in PETRI ... like the dish ... where you ... culture? ... stuff? Maybe? As a recent crossword once "said," I'M NOT A SCIENTIST ...
• "AH, OK" (33A: "I get it now") — Aside from LOREM (again, for the last time, WTF?), this was the hardest answer in the puzzle for me. Had "AHO-" and thought "wow, they are stretching the meaning of AHOY pretty far here, but OK!"

See, the write-up was actually short. Just as I, definitely a human, promised. Good day and good LOREM to you all!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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Game pieces in Othello and Connect Four / WED 10-19-22 / Looney Tunes bunny / Genre for Luther Vandross / John of "The Suicide Squad" / Home to over seven billion people / Swirl in a stream

Constructor: Ryan Patrick Smith

Relative difficulty: Medium

 


THEME: Tom Swifties — Theme answers are puns that follow a specific structure ... here, Wikipedia can explain this better than I ever could

Word of the Day: CHOUX (46A: Pastry dough used in crullers and beignets) —

Choux pastry, or pâte à choux (French: [pɑ.t‿a ʃu]), is a delicate pastry dough used in many pastries. Basic ingredients usually only include butter, water, flour and eggs (auxiliary ingredients and flavorings are also added).

• • •

Theme answers:

• IN VERY POOR TASTE (17A: "You cooked this? It's *disgusting*!" said Tom ___)
• INCONSOLABLY (26A: "What do you mean there are no PlayStations left in stock?" asked Tom ___
• UNIRONICALLY (48A: "I'm worried I may have anemia," said Tom ___)
• FRANKLY INCENSED (63A: "You guys are supposed to be 'Wise Men' and *these* are the gifts you bring a newborn?!" asked Tom, ___)

Hi everyone, it's Rafa here filling in for Rex! Happy to be back to talk about a themed puzzle this time. This is a *very* tried and true theme, which we've seen before in 2020, and in 2001, and in 1994, and in 1988 (!), and probably many more times too, but I'm tired of searching.

I'll quote Rex himself, from his last review of a Tom Swifty puzzle:

Here's the deal: Tom Swifties ... are an old thing. They are in corny old "joke" books, probably, and they are definitely on websites (over and over and over again). In the end, what you have are ... adverbs. Well, one adverbial phrase, and then adverbs. That's it. You (yes you) can go to a Tom Swifties page on the internet, just find a bunch of adverbs that will fit symmetrically in a grid, and bam, you have a "theme" now, congrats.

 

That's a bit harsh IMO, as the finds today do seem novel within the genre, but in general I agree it can be hard to get excited about a theme/concept that feels stale without any sort of new twist. Though, I'm sure some people appreciate a well-done version of a standard concept.

Anyhoo, for this set specifically, I quite enjoyed the middle two, though the first and last didn't quite land for me. The VERY felt a bit out of place in the first answer (I think IN POOR TASTE is the more common in-the-language phrase), and the last one felt just a bit too contrived, though I did appreciate the attempt. But also ... maybe the frankincense and myrrh aren't the most exciting gifts, but they brought gold!!! If I ever have a child and you bring me gold as a gift, I promise not to make a crossword slandering you.

I had no idea what myrrh looked like ... apparently it's this

Outside the theme, there weren't any long (>7) slots, but some fun stuff in CHEW TOY, SPA DAYS, etc. And pretty smooth too, with only YAR, ECCE, INDC standing out to me as dings. Let's not normalize IN[city name] as crossword fill! (So easy to say as a solver! If you ever see me using this in a puzzle I make, please do not hold this against me)

This is an apatosaurus. It does, indeed, have a prominent NECK

I loved the vibe that ANAL, SEXY, LMFAO brought to the puzzle! Of course they were clued a lot more tamely than they could, but I enjoyed seeing all the somewhat boundary-pushing fill. There were also quite a few fun clue moments. I chuckled at the reduplicative "reduplicative" clues for ISIS and NENE, and was a fan of the fresh (to me) angles for SMOG, ASAHI, and others. Clue of The Puzzle for me was [One foot in "the grave," poetically speaking] for IAMB -- a really fun aha that made the whole puzzle worth it! (A foot in poetry is a measure of poetic meter, and an IAMB and a common type of foot)

Bullets:

• 3D: Relief pitcher's success (SAVE) — I know zero things about baseball. Every time I see a baseball clue I skip it. Honestly, I'm proud of myself when I even recognize a clue is a baseball clue
• 68A: Het (up) (RILED) — I had never heard of "het up" before! Wonder if it's just a gap for me or whether this is regional or generational
• 25A: Support group associated with the Twelve Steps (ALANON)— This puzzle taught me that AA (which I was familiar with) and Al Anon (which was new to me) are two different groups that serve different audiences

That's all from me today! Hope to be back soon!

Signed, Rafa

[Follow Rafa on Twitter]

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Frequent topic for Pablo Neruda / FRI 1-17-20 / Caesar's army in popular film franchise / Actress who directed 2019's Booksmart / Classic novel narrated by the second Mrs. de Winter / David Lynchian say / Online pop culture media hub

Constructor: Ryan Patrick Smith

Relative difficulty: Easy, apparently (I solved it sleepily in the comfy chair, on my clipboard, so I have no idea)

THEME: none

Word of the Day: OLIVIA WILDE (17A: Actress who directed 2019's "Booksmart") —

Olivia Wilde (born Olivia Jane Cockburn; March 10, 1984) is an Irish and American actress, producer, director, and activist. She is known for her role as Remy "Thirteen" Hadley on the medical-drama television series House (2007–2012), and her roles in the films Conversations with Other Women (2005), Alpha Dog (2007), Tron: Legacy (2010), Cowboys & Aliens (2011), Butter (2011), Drinking Buddies (2013), The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (2013), Rush (2013), The Lazarus Effect (2015),  Love the Coopers (2015), and Meadowland (2015).^[3] In 2017, Wilde made her Broadway debut, playing the role of Julia in 1984. In 2019, she directed her first film, the comedy Booksmart to critical acclaim. (wikipedia)

• • •

I thought this was fine, but as far as the fill goes, only OLIVIA WILDE feels truly fresh—a proper marquee answer—and the cluing was almost obnoxiously pop-culture oriented (and I say this as someone who quite enjoys pop culture-y things in his grids). We had to have a movie clue to get MARINE. Another to get MOON. Another to get APES. Another to get EERIE. Individually, those clues are fine—good, even—but cumulatively, the clues created a voice that seemed very desperate to seem current—a very AV CLUB voice. Which, fantastic, I like the AV CLUB. And better current than musty and dated. But two things: Fridays and Saturdays should have a bunch of marquee answers, and they should draw from all over, from all kinds of knowledge bases and activities, and not just, say, extreme movie/TV-watching. Balance! But a solid grid overall, and a "Booksmart" answer in a position of prominence (along with lots of other women's names, hurray), make this one a decent effort.

["Booksmart"'s Beanie Feldman (seen here in "Lady Bird")] [TITULAR! (38D)]

I think I was too tired to really zoom through this thing, though once I finally worked out the NW, the cobwebs were sufficiently cleared from my head and I did tear through the rest of it without much trouble. I think I just stared at 1A: Online pop culture/media hub (AV CLUB) and tried to guess it with no crosses, which meant me sitting there like an idiot going "The ... Buzzfeed? The ... Jezebel? The ... Awl? The ..." No, I have not had coffee yet. Eventually I did the thing I should've done immediately, which is hit the crosses. AMOR MARINE LIVE MÁS got me moving, and then I got OLIVIA WILDE, which made me feel I like I finally had my feet underneath me. Found the whole solve fine but pretty unremarkable, until the very end when MAMAN (!?!?!) really slowed me down again. I don't remember "The Stranger," and certainly didn't expect to see so uncommon a French word in the puzzle ("uncommon" for U.S. crosswords, I should specify). Happily, the crosses were all very gettable, but yeah, MAMAN gave me a little scare. Is SEE'S "upscale"??? They seemed pretty ... scale ... to me, as someone who grew up in California, where they were common (I haven't seen SEE'S since I left in the early '90s, except maybe on vacation, at a mall or an airport, which, again, raises the question of their upscaleness). I guess if you can't get them in the checkout line at the supermarket, they're "upscale"? OK. I really need coffee now, so good day!

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Facebook]

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