Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle: Patisserie artisans

Constructor: Kristian House

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: Parental orders — three parental orders, with a possible response to those orders in the NE/SW corners ("BUT WHY!?"), and finally an imagined reply to that question: BECAUSE I SAID SO

Word of the Day: OZARK Jubilee (14A: "___ Jubilee," weekly 1950s country music program on ABC) —

Ozark Jubilee is the first U.S. network television program to feature country music's top stars, and the centerpiece of a strategy for Springfield, Missouri to challenge Nashville, Tennessee as America's country music capital. The weekly live stage show premiered on ABC-TV on January 22, 1955, was renamed Country Music Jubilee on July 6, 1957, and was finally named Jubilee USA on August 2, 1958. Originating "from the heart of the Ozarks," the Saturday night variety series helped popularize country music in America's cities and suburbs, drawing more than nine million viewers. The ABC Radio version was heard by millions more starting in August 1954. (wikipedia)

• • •

Since when is SEE-THRU a spelling?? (9D: Like a sheer nightie) I see that it is being used by various people on the interwebs, but I've never seen "THRU" except on street signs and at drive-THRUs. Is the shortened "nightie" supposed to cue me to "THRU?" That's pretty weak (see also the fact that double-E RANEE was supposed to cue the rarely-seen double-E SAREE, ugh: 65A Ranee's wrap). Almost didn't bother to look at the clue for SEE-THRU — I had SEET- all lined up up there, and the only reason I looked at the clue was to see if the answer would be SEETHED or SEETHES ...

Further, I challenge "cybermovie" as a thing that actually exists ... when I google [Define cybermovie], I get a crossword blog as one of the first hits — 35D: 1982 Disney cybermovie ("Tron")

And yet ... this puzzle has a cute theme with a nice, quirky additional theme answer in the corners. Enjoyable. Do real, non-TV parents really talk like this? — the patter is very familiar, but in a 1950s TV kind of way. I'm all for making your kids do stuff, but "BECAUSE I SAID SO" — that's just sad. Still, it's certainly conventional, familiar, in-the-language, etc., so OK. I do have a hard time imagining a whiny "BUT WHY?" being asked in response to really obvious, ordinary chores. PICK UP YOUR TOYS, maybe, but BRUSH YOUR TEETH? Presumably you've explained the "BUT WHY?" of tooth-brushing to junior before. If he's going to resist you, he's not going to pathetically question the intrinsic value of brushing his teeth. He's going to whine about staying up til the next commercial, or til he's completed the next level of his video game. Can you tell I get impatient with whiny kids and impotent parents? Kinda wish the last theme answer had been something shocking like "JESUS HATES WHINERS" or "WHERE'S MY BELT!?"

(do I need a note here saying I'm not serious, do not condone corporal punishment, etc.?)

Theme answers:

20A: Parental order #1 ("BRUSH YOUR TEETH!")
31A: Parental order #2 ("PICK UP YOUR TOYS!")
39A: Parental order #3 ("DO YOUR HOMEWORK!")
13D: With 57-Down, possible response to 20-, 31- or 39-Across ("SOD OFF!")
53A: Reply to the question in 13- and 57-Down ("YOU ARE GROUNDED!")

I really loved the NW corner of this grid, which is where I started. It's bouncy and bubbly with BUGGY (17A: Amish conveyance) and BO

BBY (1D: Coventry cop) and OZARK and SKYHOOK (5D: Abdul-Jabbar's trademark shot)! In general, the grid had a few too many odd names for my taste — stuff like YALU (21D: River to Korea Bay) and ILYA (32D: Kovalchuk of the N.H.L.), and then whoever this BEA person is (28A: Actress Benaderet of "Petticoat Junction") — I've actually seen her before, but give me the late great BEA Arthur any day: her last name (which looks like a first name) provides an easy opportunity for a misdirect, if you're looking to make the clue harder. To me, a CARB is a thing in pasta (10A: Dual-___ engine) and a ROWEL is ... well, I don't know what a ROWEL is; that was my problem (59A: Wheel on a spur). Anyhoo, this went down in slightly better than normalish time.

Bullets:

1A: Infamous motel of film (Bates) — just rewatched this, after reading David Thomson's "The Moment of Psycho" (interesting and informative, if somewhat rambling and pretentious)
17A: Amish conveyance (buggy) — there are many road signs in these parts that warn you about the possible presence of buggies on the road. I don't think I've actually seen a BUGGY, though.
27A: Dr. with several Grammys (Phil)
48A: Rapper with the #1 hit "Empire State of Mind" (Jay-Z) — with Alicia Keys; a great song.

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

Economy

7D: Slangy "That's obvious!" ("No duh!") — HA ha, I haven't heard anyone say this since I was 10.
28D: Wild tusker (boar) — "Tusker" sounded made-up, but it isn't.
33D: Science fiction writer Frederik (Pohl) — a very useful name to have in your crossword bag of tricks. I'm going to try to shove ILYA and YALU into that bag right now.
47D: Patisserie artisans (icers) — They're "artisans" now? Fancy.
50D: Exchange of TV smears, maybe (ad war) — an odd phrase. I think I've seen it in puzzles before, and it's certainly a familiar concept, but it did not spring readily to mind. Not even close. I'm telling you, that SE corner ... only real sticking point today.
56D: Where James T. Kirk was born and raised (Iowa) — if you say so. Again, SE corner.
62A: One of a Disney septet (dwarf) — I HAD DOPEY!!! Again, SE corner.