Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle: Jon Michnovicz

Constructor: Jon Michnovicz and Carl Michnovicz

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: EI ... IE? ... oh — a rebus puzzle where eight squares read "IE" in one direction and "EI" in the other:

Theme answers:

VIVIEN LEIGH (THE INDIES / CRIER) (17A: Actress who portrayed Scarlett O'Hara and Blanche DuBois / 4D: What Columbus thought he'd reached in 1492 / 6D: Old-fashioned news source)
HEISMAN TROPHIES (THE INDIES / EIDER) (24A: Awards that only one college athlete has ever won twice / 4D: What Columbus thought he'd reached in 1492 / 27D: Source of down)
HIGH-PROTEIN DIET (STOOLIE / HEIGH-HOS) (40A: Atkins, for one / 23D: Ratfink / 39D: Cheery refrains from the Seven Dwarfs)
ONE-EIGHTIES (NOSIEST / LEICA) (54A: Complete reversals / 42D: Most prying / 51D: High-end camera brand)

Word of the Day: Archie Griffin (24A: Awards that only one college athlete has ever won twice = HEISMAN TROPHIES) —

Archie Mason Griffin (born August 21, 1954) is an American former football running back who played for seven seasons with the Cincinnati Bengals of the National Football League (NFL). He played college football for the Ohio State Buckeyes. The only two-time Heisman Trophy winner, he is considered one of the greatest college football players of all time. Griffin won four Big Ten Conference titles with the Buckeyes and was the first player ever to start in four Rose Bowls. He also played professionally for the Jacksonville Bulls of the United States Football League (USFL).

• • •

[22A: Doomed to fail, for short]

Gonna have to make this fairly short: my first day of school got snowed out on Tuesday so today is technically Day 1, only sadly it's also Day 2, and I haven't been in a classroom in six weeks, so I need to make sure I have a little time this morning to get my head straight (i.e. at least a full hour to drink a pot of coffee and stare into space before I hit that 8:30am class). How I feel about today's puzzle is pretty much a version of how I felt about yesterday's puzzle. Two key resemblances: 1. there's a gimmick but I don't know what the point is, and 2. the fill is not OK. Squares go "IE" one way and "EI" the other ... and the four long themers themselves have both "IE" and "EI" in them. But once again I was waiting for the revealer, the thing that would make it make sense, and it never came. We're just flipping "EI" and "IE" around willy-nilly, just for kicks. There's no concept at play. There's no hook, no conceptual exclamation point. There's just eight (ieght?) squares that do what they do. And then there's MOOER (and then there's MOOER!). And LMN. And SANT. And NOTAT. Yesterday, NODAT, today, NOTAT. See? More similarities. Apparently there IS NO end to the reign of EDO, which makes its second 2024 appearance today (more than all the appearances it made from 2021 through 2023). And there are more improbable plurals. Yesterday, LEGATOS; today, both TADAS (lol, plural?) and HEIGH-HOS (who can forget the memorable tune, "HEIGH-HOS, HEIGH-HOS, it's off to work we goes!"?). I guess this puzzle did teach me at least one thing, which is: that's how you spell "HEIGH-HO(S)" —I'd've spelled it like the (bygone?) cracker:

I can't say this wasn't an interesting exercise, thematically. There's definitely something going on. For me, the problem is that it's merely structural / architectural. Nothing meaningful is being demonstrated. There's no wordplay to bring the concept to life. You could be switching any two letters around. I liked hunting the IEEI squares, because I just like figuring things out, but I'm left with a shrug. But it's worse than that, because I winced at the grid so many times along the way. "IT'S A HELP"? Just say "it helps" like a normal person, please!

Clue Round-up:

1A: Part of some Italian church names (SANT) — I can't say I've never seen this before (as clued). Apparently I've seen it once before, in 2012. But it sure felt like I'd never seen it. When I search [Italian sant] it shows me results for [Italian santa]. The query just doesn't compute. Maybe there's some elision happening in "Italian church names." I don't know. All I know is, Gus van SANT is a reasonably prominent motion picture director.

56A: Really cool, in dated slang (ACES) — dated? How dare you! I use ACES all the time, so it must be extremely now and hip. All the TEENs are saying it! (he sobbed sadly to himself).
41D: Big-game hunting targets in the classic short story "The Most Dangerous Game" (HUMANS) — it's a story! I know it as a classic movie, a pre-coded horror film from 1932, starring the dreamy Joel McCrea. Tons of fun.

25D: Steve Martin, Chevy Chase and Martin Short, in a 1986 comedy (AMIGOS) — lol the movie is called "The Three AMIGOS," if you asked anyone that clue they would say "Oh, I know, the answer is THREE AMIGOS!" and they would be right, this answer is pretty ridiculous without the "three."
34D: Hot shot? (ESPRESSO) — now this, I liked. Went from "What??" (even with first couple letters in place) to "Aha!" Very good misdirection.
11D: What a provocateur aims to do (STIR THE POT) — I liked this too. Best entry in the grid. Also, it offers a good chance to illustrate an issue I talk about with longer phrases all the time (e.g. EAT A SANDWICH): STIR A POT would be bad—you might say it (in some context, at some time), but it's not a phrase that can stand alone. Whereas, STIR THE POT, mwah, perfect. It's an idiomatic phrase. An entity unto itself. Complete standaloneability!
18D: World Vision and others, for short (NGOS) — I had many wrong STABs here, including APPS and RPGS (role-playing games?). I can't say this answer is improved by being paired in a crossreference with ORG (45A: The "O" of 18-Down). This is like putting bright-yellow hi-liter on two of the weakest answers in your grid. Why?

Here's hoping none of you online solvers had trouble today, and that your EIs and IEs were accepted by the app, no problem. See you tomorrow.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. I almost forgot: my favorite wrong answer of the new year. This is what happens when you have a few letters in place and then read the clue way, way too fast: