Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle: Deb

Constructor: Randolph Ross

Relative difficulty: IMPOSSIBLE (couldn't even finish by Googling)

THEME: "A" TRIP AROUND THE WORLD — Twenty-two place names that begin and end with A are strung together over seven across entries so that the ending A in one place is the beginning A in the next. Geography lesson ensues.

Word of the Day: SHIRR (Bake, as an egg) —

shirr verb (used with object) 1. to draw up or gather (cloth or the like) on three or more parallel threads.
2. to bake (eggs removed from the shell) in a shallow dish or in individual dishes.

(Note the strong resemblance shirred eggs bear to shirred fabric. The eggs are at right.)

Well, I'm pretty sure today marks a First Ever event in Rexville: An incomplete/incorrect puzzle solution! Try as I might — and I tried, and tried, and tried — I could not figure out what town(s) would work in between ATLANTA and ANDORRA. ALMOATA is not a place. Neither is ALMOA or ATA. I tried changing the spelling of GONEF to the less-common GANEF, but that left me with ALMA (a place) and AATA (surely not a place). The crosses looked right to me, with HINTS being the only iffy one. I'm sure some much-better-solver will come along shortly and help me fix this, but in the meantime I'm going to bask in my trail-blazing, couldn't-even-finish, guest blogger status. (I don't have much choice.)

Ha! Update before even posting: Checked Crosswordfiend's blog and learned ALMA ATA is correct, and my DNF was actually due to incorrectly entering CARAT (which is a unit of fineness of gold) instead of KARAT (a unit of weight for precious stones). I probably should start all over and make KARAT my WOTD, but I'm way too lazy. BTW, I also had to copy her completed grid because I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to get my (now) completed grid from my iPad, where I solve, to my desktop where I am writing this up.

Theme answers:

Four stops on "A" trip around the world: AFRICA/(A)SIA/(A)RGENTINA/(A)RUBA
Three more stops: ATLANTA/(A)LMA ATA/(A)NDORRA
Three more stops: AMERICA/(A)RIZONA/(A)LBANIA
Three more stops: ALGERIA/(A)LABAMA/(A)RCADIA
Three more stops: ALBERTA/(A)LAMEDA/(A)STORIA
Three more stops: ALTOONA/(A)RMENIA/(A)RALSEA
Three more stops: ANTARCTICA/(A)LASKA/(A)NTIGUA

I have one huge nit to pick with one theme answer. Can you guess which it is? I spent well over an hour trying to figure this out. I must've scoured a half a dozen alphabetical listings of place names trying to suss out what the heck would fit in the spot I thought was holding me up. ALMATY showed up on a few of those lists, but not ALMA ATA, even though the latter is supposedly a variation of the former. Hmph. I cry foul. Which brings me to my first video, chosen partly for all the sports-loving readers of the blog, but mostly because I thought NO CATCH (Ruling against a receiver) was a made-up rule...

BTW, this video is also a perfect example of why I loathe football. That being, it's damned near impossible to track where the ball is at any given moment. There are just too many big, beefy men surrounding the thing most of the time

HIGH POINTS:

I loved IDIOCY as the answer to Three Stooges specialty, but I'm never thrilled to be reminded of them at all, mostly because it reminds me that I actually watched them on lazy summer afternoons when I was in grade school. Worse though, twenty years ago a friend shared a little tidbit with me that I can't help but think of every time I've run across their name since. Apparently she caught her husband doing a certain thing that men sometimes do while watching porn, only he was watching The Three Stooges instead of porn. The marriage didn't last. Oh — and she's now gay. Understandably.

ALBANIA always, always, always reminds me of this...

God, I loved Coach!

That's really about it for the high points. There wasn't much in this puzzle that sizzled for me.

LOW POINTS (aka DRECK):

LUI (French pronoun) — I've commented on this before, but now that I have a bigger soapbox I'm going to say it again: ENOUGH with the arcane foreign pronouns and other bare particles of speech! Common foreign words — ami, tres, bon mot, adieu, etc — fine. But LUI is simply not a word anyone who doesn't speak French is likely to know. This is supposed to be an ENGLISH puzzle!! STOPPIT!

TEK — I think I've seen this clued as a William Shatner novel/serial partial before, but this cluing stumped me.

Honestly, that's about it for the dreck, so I'd have to say that, as much as I hated ALMA ATA and LUI, this was a pretty solid, if not terribly scintillating puzzle.

THINGS I HAD TO FIX

GLINTS (Flashes quickly) was BLINKS, and therefore...
SWEATS (Gym wear) was SNEAKS
IT'S A DATE ("You're on!") was IT'S A DEAL
HAT BANDS (Fedora features) was HAT BRIMS
KARAT (Piece of gold), well, let's not go back there.
PACMAN (Maze navigator) was LAB RAT

Remember this precursor to PACMAN?

PONG!

I drew a perfect rendition of this in a game of Drawsome and the person who was supposed to figure out my drawing called me names and refused to play with me anymore. I guess he was young.

I think at least one musical selection is de rigueur for a proper Rexville post, but the only Sade tune I know dates back to the 80's, so I'm going to treat you to this instead...

Rattle Box — Broken Star

Back to GLINTS for a moment: There's one of those oh-so-helpful, mobile radar thingamajigs set up on the feeder street that leads to our neighborhood. You know the kind — it tells you what speed you're going, and if you're over the limit, the number begins to blink. Yesterday, I made the mistake of leaving home on an errand when I was in a red-hot rage. When I'm in a red-hot rage I guess I drive a tad fast. That radar sign almost always is blinking at me when I come upon it, but usually just lazily — 28! 27! 26! 25 :), but yesterday it yelled at me, in very-rapid red flashes, to SLOW DOWN! I'd never seen that before.

Okay, I'm officially rambling now. Rex actually sets his template up with the word RAMBLE where the bulk of his commentary usually goes, so I took it to heart and did my best. I know there are a handful of you who aren't happy with some of Rex's guest-bloggers this go-round, and I've found the comments to that effect to be quite boorish. But, for those of you who feel I didn't ramble enough, or are displeased with my bona fides, opinions, lame humor, or choice of vids and pics, you are, of course, welcome to let me have it with your comments. Then please refer back to this...