Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle

Constructor: Alex Eaton-Salners

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: "Off Broadway Musicals" — theme clues are titles of musicals, which must be taken literally in order to arrive at the correct answers:

Theme answers:

23A: Rock of Ages (ROSETTA STONE)
25A: How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (NEPOTISM)
44A: A Class Act (FIELD TRIP)
47A: A Strange Loop (MOBIUS STRIP)
67A: A Little Night Music (LULLABY)
69A: Rent (SPLIT)
70A: A Chorus Line (REFRAIN)
88A: The Producers (PROLETARIAT)
91A: Into the Woods (OUTDOORSY)
111A: The Wiz (EINSTEIN)
113A: Mean Girls (AVERAGE JANES)

Word of the Day: BABUR (74D: Founder of the Mughal Empire) —

Babur (Persian: ببر, Persian: [bɑː.βuɾ]; 14 February 1483 – 26 December 1530; born Zahīr ud-Dīn Muhammad) was the founder of the Mughal Empire in the Indian subcontinent. He was a descendant of Timur and Genghis Khan through his father and mother respectively. He was also given the posthumous name of Firdaws Makani ('Dwelling in Paradise'). [...] Religiously, Babur started his life as a staunch Sunni Muslim, but he underwent significant evolution. Babur became more tolerant as he conquered new territories and grew older, allowing other religions to peacefully coexist in his empire and at his court. He also displayed a certain attraction to theology, poetry, geography, history, and biology—disciplines he promoted at his court—earning him a frequent association with representatives of the Timurid Renaissance. His religious and philosophical stances are characterized as humanistic. // Babur married several times. Notable among his children were Humayun, Kamran Mirza, Hindal Mirza, Masuma Sultan Begum, and the author Gulbadan Begum. Babur died in 1530 in Agra and Humayun succeeded him. Babur was first buried in Agra but, as per his wishes, his remains were moved to Kabul and reburied. He ranks as a national hero in Uzbekistan and Kyrgyzstan. Many of his poems have become popular folk songs. He wrote the Baburnama in Chaghatai Turkic; it was translated into Persian during the reign (1556–1605) of his grandson, the emperor Akbar. (wikipedia)

• • •

[10D: Kylo ___ of "Star Wars"]

"How to Make Musicals Boring." I guess if you like seeing names of musicals, this might hold some interest. I'll admit that a few of the hyperliteral theme answers were kinda funny (NEPOTISM, for instance, for How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying; or OUTDOORSY for Into the Woods— that was pretty good). But mostly this was a snooze, both themewise and fillwise. There's not really anything to it. There are presumably hundreds of musical titles to choose from, and you can take any of them literally, and imagine potential answers of all kinds of lengths, and then out of that set, pick a bunch that will fit symmetrically in a grid. The end. I don't even know what A Class Act or A Strange Loop are. If they're iconic musicals, they got past me, that's for sure. But that doesn't matter. No need to have actually heard of the musicals because all the clues are just ... literal. The title of this puzzle is "Off Broadway Musicals," but there's nothing really "Off" about these clues. They're literal. Maybe we, as solvers, are supposed to sense that something is "off," awry, amiss. I dunno. Whatever pun fun is supposed to be happening there is lost on me.

I also don't know what AVERAGE JANES are. Is that like ... a female version of AVERAGE JOES? Shrug. The whole thing is a shrug. There's "gamer-speak" (ugh) (SMURFS) (48D: Uses an alternate account to play against easier opponents, in gamer-speak). Weapons of police brutality (TASER). CATTLE PEN. Nothing here I was terribly happy to see. And from REDD to PARTA to CIERA to ERMA to LSAT to IMA to AER to YENTE to ETOILE, the grid seemed to lean pretty into tired fill and crosswordese. Didn't really give us any new looks, anything to really admire. I don't see the appeal.

My path through this thing was bizarre. I just sort of ... drifted. Down, down, down. My first themer was SPLIT (which I didn't really recognize as a themer), and then I didn't see another one until I was at the bottom of the grid, with AVERAGE JANES. And from there I started climbing back up. Totally meandering. Not my normal M.O., but cross after cross was easy and I just followed where the crosses took me, and next thing I knew, I'd traversed the grid:

Only tough part was BABUR, a name that made its first NYTXW appearance back in August, but one that I clearly didn't fix firmly in my brain. Needed every single cross. Otherwise, the only toughness in the puzzle came in trying to figure out the theme answers. Some of them were ... unexpected. Stretches, even, you might say. PROLETARIAT was perhaps the most unlikely-seeming. I guess from a Marxist perspective, yes, the PROLETARIAT are the "producers" (of goods) who are exploited in a capitalist system by those who own the means of production. They receive less (in wages) than what their labor is actually worth, "the remainder appropriated by the bourgeoisie as profit" (wikipedia). In case you were wondering what that clue was about, that's what that clue was about. The other theme clues seem pretty straightforward. Not sure what is "of Ages" about the ROSETTA STONE. Is it "of Ages" because ... it's old? When I think of the ROSETTA STONE, I think of translation, not "Ages."

The Rosetta Stone is a stele of granodiorite inscribed with three versions of a decree issued in 196 BC during the Ptolemaic dynasty of Egypt, on behalf of King Ptolemy V Epiphanes. The top and middle texts are in Ancient Egyptian using hieroglyphic and Demotic scripts, respectively, while the bottom is in Ancient Greek. The decree has only minor differences across the three versions, making the Rosetta Stone key to deciphering the Egyptian scripts.

Nothing else seems hard to understand today. The "summers" in 81D: Some summers, in brief (CPAS) are people who do sums, that is, people who add numbers together. I completely forgot what the SD part of SD CARD stands for (6A: S.L.R. insert since the early 2000s). Nope, turns out I never knew. Seems to have originally stood for "Secure Digital." Even if I had known that, hard to imagine I'd enjoy seeing SDCARD in the grid. Despite SDCARDs having been in existence for over a quarter of a century, this is SDCARD's NYTXW debut. Definitely falls under the "Not All Debuts Are Good" category. Side note: SIM CARD has appeared in the NYTXW twice. For some reason, I don't mind it nearly as much.

Bullets:

20A: One sporting an article of apparel (WEARER) — well, it's a word, but the clue is completely unimaginative, which makes the word seem awkward. [One sporting an article apparel] is literally everyone in the clothed world. I'm a WEARER, you're a WEARER, he's a WEARER, she's a WEARER ... there's gotta be a more specific context for this word.

36A: Swallow something hook, line and sinker (EAT IT UP) — author Len Deighton has a series of spy novels from the '80s/'90s called the Hook, Line and Sinker Trilogy. Actor Bill Nighy recommended Deighton on his "ill-advised" podcast, so I've got the first of the series, Spy Hook, sitting next to my comfy chair here at home (thank you, public library!). If I can finish R.F. Kuang's Katabasis in the next few days, I might have time to cram Spy Hook in before New Year's. Otherwise, it's going to have to wait another week or two, since I'm starting the new year with Dickens (an idea stolen from my friend Levi Stahl). This year—my inaugural Dickens year—I'm going with Dombey & Son (1846-48). Got me a beat-up, orange-spined Penguin copy from the mid-late 20th century, since that is what my brain thinks Dickens books are supposed to look like (like they looked when I was in college).

56A: Full legislative assembly (PLENUM) — from the Latin for "ugly-looking and ugly-sounding word." Rhymes with "Blenheim," I assume. Or maybe "venom." Or maybe "screen 'em!" I dunno.
58A: Personification of darkness, in Greek myth (EREBUS) — I never learned about whoever this is. I learned the name from crosswords, possibly when I learned that the southernmost active volcano in the world is Mount EREBUS in Antarctica.
72A: Creatures formed from the fingers of the sea goddess Sedna, in Inuit myth (SEALS) — this clue is interesting! Teach me Inuit mythology, I'm into it. Maybe don't put SEDNA in the grid anytime soon, though. Baby steps. Here is a video of two SEALS at play.
99A: Eschew the high road (GO LOW) — a phrase popularized by Michelle Obama: "When they GO LOW, we go high"—how did that strategy work out? I forget.
16D: Cheep trills? (TWITTERS) — I like this clue's commitment to the pun. To both puns. The double pun. Puns should be ostentatious and or they should not exist at all.
17D: Dodger's comeuppance (IRS AUDIT) — so, a tax dodger. In fact, I had TAX AUDIT here at first.
45D: Mythical figure undone by hubris (ICARUS) — was it "overbearing pride" (i.e. "hubris") that caused ICARUS to fly too close to the sun? Or just regular old teenage disobedience?
56D: Blue Ribbon brand (PABST) — this reminds me: Blue Velvet is playing at the New Bev (in L.A.) next month, so if you live in the area you should definitely get out and see that on the big screen.

85D: Shell filling stations (TACO BARS) — I kinda want "shell-filling" to be hyphenated. Isn't it a compound adjective modifying "stations?" The clue wants us to think of gas stations, which you wouldn't, probably, if a hyphen was in there.
100D: Setting for Cole Porter's "Anything Goes" (OCEAN) — [sings parts of the song to himself trying to find the "OCEAN" part ... "hmmm hmmm glimpse of stocking ... silly gigolos ... etc."]. Turns out the clue is referring to the entire show (which takes place aboard an OCEAN liner), not just the song:

98D: Gathering of moles (INTEL) — thought this was going to be one of those dumb, made-up names for a group of animals, like ... a sequestering of moles, or something ridiculous like that. But instead it's the stuff that moles (i.e. long-term spies or sleeper agents) gather.
111A: Blue-necked bird (EMU) — they have blue necks? This is like learning a new OREO fact (that OREOs come in PIE form—not a new fact) (82D: Black-and-white desserts).
37D: Short boxers, e.g. (PUPS) — as of right now, I have no idea what this means. I can see how [Young boxers, e.g.] might be PUPS, but "Short?" That ... is an expression I don't know. I guess young dogs are "short" compared to adult dogs, but no one talks that way. I thought for a bit that the answer was going to be PUGS, since "boxers" (the kind in a ring with gloves) are sometimes known slangily as "PUGS." But still, there's the matter of "short." Maybe it's underwear? Are there "short boxers" called PUPS? One of you will tell me how this clue works and then I'll come back here and add a note. But if the PUPS in question really are boxer puppies, I'm leaving this comment as is.

Speaking of PUPS (and other small animals)... time once again for 🌲🐈Holiday Pet Pics🐕🌲! Note: PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME ANY MORE PET PICS, I'M ALL FULL UP FOR THIS YEAR, thank you.

Let's start with a bunch of memorial pet pics. Here's the late great Zoe Bear, adopted at 8, lived to 18, clearly very very fond of Christmas. Look how fond.

[Thanks, Chris!]

Cleo has been a part of prior Holiday Pet Pics extravaganzas. Sadly, she left us this year and is now leaping into Christmas trees in Cat Heaven. They have Christmas trees in Cat Heaven, right? Of course they do. Stupid question.

[Cleo, pre-leap]
[Thanks, Nancy!]

Look at this sweet, saucer-eyed baby. Eighteen years is a hell of a life for a dog. R.I.P., Toby.

Here's Rosie. Her person writes: "Rosie is white in the face now but still with us for another Christmas. She buried the neckwear outside years ago."

[Thanks, Claudia!]

Next up, Bella and Cammie. See if you can tell who enjoys Christmas more:

[Bella, who did not consent to being part of this Christmas ring-toss game]

[Cammie, seen her in a still from her one-woman Christmas show, Santa Paws!]
[Thanks, Steven!]

And finally Casper, who does not look like a ghost at all and wants nothing to do with your proposed "all-dog version of A Christmas Carol." Just let Casper sleep.

[Thanks, Brady!]

That's it. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd]
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Constructor: Katie Hoody

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: none

Word of the Day: O'SHEA Jackson Jr. (49D: Actor ___ Jackson Jr.) —

O'Shea Jackson Jr. (born February 24, 1991), also known by the stage name OMG, is an American actor, rapper and songwriter. He is the oldest son of Ice Cube and, in his feature film debut, he portrayed his father in the 2015 biopic Straight Outta Compton.

• • •

[CRINKLE-CUT]

Well this is more like it. This is the kind of late-week grid I live for. Just stacked with sparkling long answers—triple stacks of 10 (well, 10-10-9) in every dang corner, plus a couple of gridspanners that cut the grid in half, top-to-bottom as well as lengthwise. It was the central long Down that really cracked things open, sending me whooshing from the top of the grid all the way to the bottom with just a little push from the first few letters:

From there, I had access to the SW corner, and it only remained for me to throw JACK DIDDLY SQUAT across the grid to get a toehold in the SE as well. The long answers really lit up the grid at every turn. Not a dull patch to be found. I particularly loved sinking into the DEATH METAL PLUNGE POOL of AQUITAINE. Now there's a historical fantasy novel title for you. I would read The DEATH METAL PLUNGE POOL of AQUITAINE. Maybe Bardugo and Okorafor could team up on that one. Got bestseller written all over it. I don't normally care for DEATH METAL, or any metal (29D: Extreme music subgenre with heavily distorted guitars), but man that answer looks good, particularly when paired so incongruously with PLUNGE POOL. Are DEATH METAL PLUNGE POOLs kept at ROOM TEMP? That doesn't seem very ... deathy.

Once again, there was way, way too little resistance for a Saturday puzzle, and the way the puzzle went about generating what little resistance it offered was the cheap way, i.e. via trivia. NOOR is crosswordese of old, but today the puzzle tried to hide it behind a new clue (11D: 2021 science fiction novel by Nnedi Okorafor)—which, good for them, but also, a recentish scifi novel that didn't win any major awards ... that's gonna be a big ??? for a lot of solvers. NOOR sounds like a cool book, actually, but as book titles go, I don't know how familiar it is. That clue is here to be a speed bump. It's the kind of trivia you either know or don't, and that you can't even infer from the clue. I'd love for this puzzle to be harder, but via clever cluing, not pop culture quizzes. See also LEIGH Bardugo—a bestselling author, for sure, but why are we going to the fantasy/scifi well twice in one puzzle? And going to Superman lore (LARA) and Star Wars yet again (REN). I feel like I should put up a "___ Days Without a Star Wars Clue" sign around here. I doubt we'd ever get out of single digits, and mostly the sign would read "0." Weirdly, I think I'd mind these pop culturefied short answers less if the puzzle was harder generally. Like, you wanna come at me, come at me. Throwing up these little proper noun roadblocks isn't going to do it. They probably aren't tough enough to hold anyone up for very long. You can just blow right through and around them. (Note: I actually knew LEIGH Bardugo, but only vaguely, and I remembered her today mainly because she blurbed the back of R.F. Kuang's new book Katabasis, which I started reading yesterday—when will KUANG hit the grid? Or RFKUANG—now that's got grid potential!)

The hardest thing in the grid for me, by far, was DEMO REEL (37D: Best performances by an actor in a short film?). Could not parse that baby to save my life. Needed every cross. Was it the very last answer I got? Yup, you can see on my finished grid (above) that only after I got that final "L" from SPIEL was the answer complete, and only a few seconds after that did I parse it correctly. Actually, I probably sat there with the last square unfilled until I realized how "L" was supposed to work—I hate putting in the last letter if I'm not extremely sure that I'm going to get the "Congratulations" message. Obviously, it's the "?" clue on DEMO REEL that's causing the problem. First of all, it looks like a plural ("Best performances..."). At first, I thought the clue was kind of forced and convoluted, but now I see it's actually extremely literal. A DEMO REEL will showcase an actor's best performances. Nice. More of this, please! It's Saturday! Whack me with a DEMO REEL or two (or four or nine).

Aside from a tendency to lean into crosswordese in the margins, the one thing that I didn't really care for today was JACK DIDDLY SQUAT. Feels like a conjoined twins-type answer. Which is to say, I know that term "jack squat" very well. Hear it all the time. And I know the term "diddly squat." I don't hear it all the time, but I definitely hear it. JACK DIDDLY SQUAT, though, I do not hear. I'm sure someone has said it, but it seems infinitely more likely that you'd opt for either JACK or DIDDLY rather than try to grab hold of both of them at once. The phrase just didn't ring true to my ear.

Not that it matters much, but this grid has 90º rotational symmetry. That is, usually if you rotate a crossword grid 180º, the black squares end up in the same place (ordinary rotational symmetry), but today, the black squares end up in the same place with every 90º turn. That's, like, twice the symmetry. Double your symmetry, double your fun! Or ... fail to notice or appreciate it at all. Your call!

Bullets:

5A: ___ Seton, author of "Foxfire" and "Katherine" (ANYA) — more of that crosswordese I was talking about. I have seen ANYA's name a lot, but only in crosswords. See also ALOP, yikes. Oh, and ABES—still not a thing.
22A: City west of Knoxville (OAK RIDGE) — What? Where? "Oak Ridge's population was 31,402 at the 2020 census" (wikipedia). The only thing I know about OAK RIDGE is boys. They are famous for their boys.

47D: Hollywood icon Davis (BETTE) — you've heard of the Three-Body Problem? Well, this is the Four-Davis Problem—VIOLA? OSSIE? GEENA? BETTE? The only way you're gonna know for sure is if you get some crosses.
28A: Bussing on the street, e.g., in brief (PDA) — that's "bussing" as in "kissing," not "bussing" as in "sending kids to school on the bus" (which is also spelled "bussing," but also, maybe more commonly, spelled "busing"). PDA = public display of affection.

Continuing with 🌲🐈Holiday Pet Pics🐕🌲 now. Note: PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME ANY MORE PET PICS, I'M ALL FULL UP FOR THIS YEAR, thank you.

First up is Bugle the one-eyed pirate! Look at his sweet tabby face, his cute asymmetrical white markings. If you look only at the left side of his face, he looks like he's sleeping. But no! It's a trick! He is vigilant! A vigilant tree guardian!

[Thanks, Meredith!]

Lucy, on the other hand, is not really known for her vigilance. Not really a guard dog. More of a lie-around-and-accept-scritches dog. It takes all kinds, Lucy. They also serve who only stand and wait (for scritches)!

[Thanks, Anne and Jacob!]

Remi's like "who is this weird beardo and can I tear him up?" Go for it, Remi!

[Thanks, Tom and Ann]

And now a live shot of me! ... nope, I'm sorry, this is actually Baloo. We apparently have the same interests, the same energy level, the same impeccable typing posture. Also, we enjoy the same holiday-season activities. (R.I.P., you sweet cruciverbalist baby)

[Thanks, Jennifer!]

Mindy the Morkie is ready for her close-up...

[Thanks, Karen!]

And finally there's Anni, who is going back to bed, what time is it even? (R.I.P., sweetheart)

[Thanks, Kat!]

See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd]
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