Sephora competitor / MON 10-13-25 / Microwaveable breakfast staple / Thick porridge referenced in "Yankee Doodle" / Helpful theorem, in math / Dorm room meal in a cup / Eggs that can cost $1,000 per ounce / Nintendo dinosaur / Chinese small plates

Constructor: Katherine Xiong

Relative difficulty: Easy (solved Downs-only)

THEME: FAST FOODS (63A: Fares at McDonald's and KFC ... or a literal description of 17-, 29- and 47-Across) — two-word foods where the first words can mean "fast"

Theme answers:

• QUICK OATS (17A: Microwaveable breakfast staple)
• INSTANT RAMEN (29A: Dorm room meal in a cup)
• HASTY PUDDING (47A: Thick porridge referenced in "Yankee Doodle")

Word of the Day: Hernando de SOTO (22D: Explorer Hernando de ___) —

Hernando de Soto (/də ˈsoʊtoʊ/; Spanish: [eɾˈnando ðe ˈsoto]; c. 1497 – 21 May 1542) was a Spanish explorer and conquistador who was involved in expeditions in Nicaragua and the Yucatan Peninsula. He played an important role in Francisco Pizarro's conquest of the Inca Empire in Peru, but is best known for leading the first European expedition deep into the territory of the modern-day United States (through Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama, North Carolina, South Carolina, Mississippi, and most likely Arkansas). He is the first European documented as having crossed the Mississippi River.

De Soto's North American expedition was a vast undertaking. It ranged throughout what is now the southeastern United States, searching both for gold, which had been reported by various Native American tribes and earlier coastal explorers, and for a passage to China or the Pacific coast. De Soto died in 1542 on the banks of the Mississippi River; sources disagree on the exact location, whether it was what is now Lake Village, Arkansas, or Ferriday, Louisiana. (wikipedia)

• • •

This ended better than it started. Of course it started with -ESQUE, and any time you start with a suffix, things are likely to improve. While -ESQUE was an inauspicious way to begin, it was really the string of TSK OHO and (worst of all) DO A SET that had me feeling like things were headed very much in the wrong direction. DO A SET has big EAT A SANDWICH energy. Not ... great. So I was skeptical. But then things mostly evened out, and a theme developed, and while the revealer itself is a little wonky (FAST FOODS in the plural is not nearly as elegant as FAST FOOD without the terminal "S" would've been), it does neatly encapsulate what's happening with the themers. The themer set is highly unusual (two out of three items in the general "porridge" family?!), but it's a very, very narrow category. There's not a lot of other answers that would've fit the bill. None that I can think of off the top of my head. So the puzzle gets a little leeway, I think. There are certainly no other HASTY foods I can think of. QUICK ... there's probably something besides OATS, but I can't think of it. And as for INSTANT ... there's the trickiest part. There just aren't that many synonyms for "fast" that area also the first words of foods. I just looked at a long list of synonyms for "fast" and none of them work. What's more, INSTANT isn't even on that list, possibly because it's not a great synonym for "fast." It's less "fast" as in "speedy" and more "fast" as in "immediate." It's definitely the outlier today, but again, the theme is very restrictive, so ... fine. We only get three themers, and the revealer has to have that "S" on the end to make the thematic symmetry work, but all these foods are quick to make (I assume), so I think the theme works OK, in the end. It's not the smoothest execution, but it'll do.

I don't know the "Yankee Doodle" lyrics that contain HASTY PUDDING. I know "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" lyrics that contain FIGGY PUDDING, but that's pretty much the extent of my pudding lyric knowledge. My only knowledge of HASTY PUDDING has something to do with Harvard. Something related to comedy? Hang on ... looks like there's a HASTY PUDDING club at Harvard, which is just a social club, but then there's also HASTY PUDDING Theatricals, also at Harvard, though "not to be confused" with the social club. This is the HASTY PUDDING that I've heard of:

Hasty Pudding Theatricals is a student theatrical society at Harvard University known for its annual burlesque crossdressing musicals as well as its Man and Woman of the Year awards. The Pudding is the oldest theatrical organization in the United States and the third oldest in the world. Its annual production is a musical comedy that often touches on topical social and political issues. (wikipedia)

I'm not sure I ever thought about what HASTY PUDDING actually was. I can say the same for "figgy pudding," for that matter. 

[no figgy pudding in this one, but this is called the "(Pudding Mix)" for some reason]

There were a few small challenges solving this one Downs-only. I absolutely blanked on de SOTO's name. SOTO fame for me goes in a certain order:

• New York Mets outfielder player Juan SOTO, who late last year signed the largest contract in professional sports history
• The automobile brand De SOTO (although it looks like that was usually written as one word, "DESOTO")
• Pulp magazine and paperback cover artist Rafael de SOTO (though it looks like he too spelled DESOTO as one word, not two)
• The explorer De SOTO whose first name I can't remember and whose accomplishments I'm not as familiar with as I should be

[cover by Rafael DeSoto]

[cover by Rafael DeSoto]

And all the longer Downs took a least at little thought today. Got DO A SET easily enough, though it was such a wobbly answer that I wasn't that confident about it. Definitely hesitated on 25D: All, for nothing, e.g. (ANTONYM) (my brain wanted ANAGRAM despite the complete lack of evidence). I just plugged in various music tempi until I got that one that worked at 42D: Smoothly, in music (LEGATO). Would not have gotten YOUTHFUL without help from some crosses (in this case, the "OU") (40D: Energetic, perhaps). ORDAINS also needed some helping along (28D: Decrees)—I wanted "Decrees" to be a noun. And I tried "IT'S A" before "ATTA" at 35D: "___ girl!" IT'S A had me guessing PIRATE and later Pontius PILATE at 34A (this is what happens when you don't allow yourself to look at the actual Across clues). If I hadn't been certain that SSD was not a thing (43A), I would've finished with "IT'S A" in place and failed. But SSD seemed obviously wrong, so I pulled it and put in ATTA. "IT'S A," weirdly, showed up later (51A: Baby announcement, as on some blue balloons = "IT'S A BOY!").


Lightning round:

• 4D: Cluck of disapproval (TSK) — I think of TUT as the cluckier of the two disapprovals, but that's obviously a judgment call.
• 20A: Sephora competitor (ULTA) — ULTA is the new ETSY. The new EBAY. The new IKEA. You have no excuse for not knowing it anymore (see also YOSHI, 54D: Nintendo dinosaur, making his fourth appearance of the year today). ULTA has solid Monday-answer status now. I would not say the same about LEMMA, but go ahead and tuck that one away as well (70A: Helpful theorem, in math). Actually, this is LEMMA's third Monday appearance, so yeah, good to know. But LEMMA hasn't appeared at all for over two and half years, whereas ULTA ... well, let's just say if you invested heavily in ULTA futures in 2020, you'd be doing pretty well right now;

• 31D: The largest one in the U.S. is in Bloomington, Minn. (MALL) — the MALL of America. I haven't been there in many, many (30?) years. I think I saw Jackie Chan's Rumble in the Bronx there in 1995. What a weirdly specific memory. I also remember a giant Lego statue and maybe a roller coaster? Oh, looks like multiple roller coasters and rides. I haven't been to a mall in forever and kind of miss them. But apparently they still exist and I can just go. Good to know.

That's all. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd]
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