Country crooner Robbins / MON 6-8-15 / Noted watering hole in Beverly Hills / Coconut-flaked Girl Scout cookies / Old pulp reading

Monday, June 8, 2015

Constructor: Peter A. Collins

Relative difficulty: Medium (normal Monday)



THEME: Hey, MAN — "MAN" can follow eight different theme answers to make movie titles:

  • CINDERELLA (17A: *Glass slipper wearer in a fairy tale)
  • I LOVE YOU (25A: *Valentine's Day message)
  • REPO (16A: *Seizure in a driveway, maybe)
  • DEAD (32A: *Out of juice, as a battery)
  • IRON (46A: *Fe, in chemistry)
  • RAIN (66A: *Drought ender)
  • MARATHON (53A: *26-mile race)
  • DEMOLITION (64A: *Job done with a wrecking ball)

Word of the Day: POLO LOUNGE (8D: Noted watering hole in Beverly Hills) —
The Polo Lounge is located inside the Beverly Hills Hotel at 9641 Sunset BoulevardBeverly Hills, California. […] The lounge has been described as "done up in peachy pink (as you might expect), with deep carpets and dark green booths, each booth featuring a plug-in phone. Legend has it that Mia Farrow (and maybe even Marlene Dietrich) was banned from the Polo Lounge for wearing pants." 
Hernando Courtright, who ran The Beverly Hills Hotel in the '30s and '40s, had a friend named Charles Wrightsman, who led a national champion polo team. Wrightsman felt it unseemly to keep the team trophy, a silver bowl, in his own home. Courtright, on hearing his friend's dilemma, offered to display the bowl in the hotel's bar, which was being redecorated at the time. The name for the bar and its lounge sprang from that favor.
The Polo Lounge was seen as the premier power dining spot in all of Los Angeles. There are three dining areas complete with the signature pink and green motif. The photograph behind the bar depicts Will Rogers and Darryl F. Zanuck, two lounge regulars, playing polo. The menu "still offers a classic Neil McCarthy salad, named after the polo-playing millionaire." (wikipedia)
• • •

Hey there. I enjoyed this. Far more entertaining than your average Monday, what with all those long Downs bouncing around and adding entertainment value to a puzzle that already has nine (albeit mostly short) theme answers. I thought the puzzle was playing harder-than-average, but since I came in one second under the 3-minute wire, it's hard to argue the puzzle was anything but Monday-easy—which adds to its impressiveness, in my eyes. Hard to get six long (8+-letter) Downs into an already theme-dense grid and still get it to come out Monday-easy. It's true that there's some meh stuff here, but there was too much hip and swinging stuff for me to pay it no nevermind. (Is that the expression? I grew up in central California, so most of my sense of homespun idiom comes from '70s television and probably can't be trusted.


I had some missteps along the way, despite the fast solve. I had POLO and wrote in GROUND. That answer was wrong in at least two ways. I also got very specific and had TWO EGGS where I needed just RAW EGGS (43A: Cake batter ingredients). That clue is weird, as recipes assume you know the eggs should be raw and so generally just ask for eggs. Probably TWO EGGS. So I stand by my wrong answer. I saw Judd APATOW in a little bookstore in O'Hare back in April. And that is my Judd APATOW story. Just looked up "I LOVE YOU, [MAN]" and despite the fact that it stars both Paul Rudd and Jason Segel (who have been in multiple other APATOW productions), APATOW appears not to have been involved with this movie at all. I would see a movie called "AXIOM MAN," but probably not "CRAP MAN."
    Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

    P.S. I finally got around to doing a write-up of last weekend's INDIE 500 CROSSWORD PUZZLE TOURNAMENT. I proofread it and everything! Check it out.

    [Follow Rex Parker on Facebook and Twitter]

    90 comments:

    Billy 12:02 AM  

    "Premie" in a crossword? I'm a little turned off.

    Whirred Whacks 12:03 AM  

    Anyone else notice the JUANA of "Tijuana" is right over MAN? That's got to be a shoutout to the 2002 rip-roaring comedy JUWANNA MANN.

    BTW, "Juwanna Mann" was culturally ahead of its time: it's about a male athlete who is kicked out of the NBA and then dresses up as a female to join a woman's basketball team. Filled with transgender hilarity!

    Bonus observation: right below MAN is EGG. Too bad the 1967 Beatles film "Magical Mystery Tour" wasn't called "The Egg Man."

    jae 12:21 AM  

    Very easy Mon. for me, but I never saw some of the more difficult clue/answers...ACARDIAN, SAMOSAS, PREMIE...  the crosses were working for me. 

    Excellent Mon., movies,  great long downs, low on dreck,  nice one Peter! 

    chefwen 12:36 AM  

    Taken aback at RAW EGGS also, any other form in a cake batter would be downright weird. "Let's put a couple sunny side up eggs in this batch and see what happens".

    I worked with a girl, way back when, she dated a guy who's nickname was POSSUM because, well, he looked like one, poor guy. Her nickname was Buckskin, so it all worked out.

    Puzzle was Monday easy and I really liked it.

    Anonymous 12:45 AM  

    Egg man reminds me of the song of the same name on the excellent Beastie Boys album Paul's Boutique. Crosswords are multi generational

    Anonymous 1:21 AM  

    @jae did you mean SAMAOS (and not SAMOSAS - Indian delicacies )?

    jae 2:43 AM  

    @Anon 1:21 - Yes, yes I did. Careless proofing, mea culpa, plus it's Mon. and I'm slightly depressed/distracted because I just got my butt kicked at Trivia Crack (Hi, you know who), curse you Seth Macfarlane and your myriad of creations, and who knew (not me) that the Easter Bunny pooped jelly beans (I went with Peeps), but I digress (Hi M&A)....

    Thomaso808 5:00 AM  

    DNF because I did not know ETATS. APATOW needs no excuse, some movie guy's name, but to not recognize our Revolutionary War ally term? My bad.

    @jae and @M&A with pooped jelly beans? Did I miss something?

    @M&A that was a great piece yesterday from the perspective of the tortured soul of a constructor. Hang in there, man!

    John Child 5:14 AM  

    One forum, two FORI? What's their RADII?

    I was sure that AMEN RA was a variant at best, but no! Google Ngram viewer result.

    Nice theme idea, and an impressive number of MAN movies. Just fine on Monday.

    'mericans in Paris 5:18 AM  

    Just a note to those who are following the further adventures of Matt Esquare, ace detective, I posted the latest installment rather later yesterday (at 4:19 PM New York City time).

    http://rexwordpuzzle.blogspot.fr/2015/06/dennis-who-fronted-1960s-70s-classics.html

    Sorry for the lateness (and for the off-topic posting here.)

    GILL I. 5:57 AM  

    What a great post, @Rex...I also love it when you tell your adventure stories along with the photos.
    I remember reading your first ACPT tournament experience. What was that...7 years ago? I think it was your first meeting with @PG !!!! What fun.
    I print my puzzles from the NYT and this one came out sans shaded areas. When I saw the MAN reveal I had lots of fun scouting the grid trying to figure out the MAN movies. I missed a couple because the only one I recall ever having seen was REPO MAN (because I love Harry Stanton) and RAIN MAN (because I love Dustin Hoffman).
    STEROID DOGS...I LOVE YOU MAN.....

    Lewis 6:20 AM  
    This comment has been removed by the author.
    mac 6:30 AM  

    Very good Monday, nice smooth solve.

    What's wrong with "premie"? I thought there would be complaints about crap.

    Lewis 6:59 AM  

    Those long answers plus AMENRA, AMOI, OONA, SAMOAS, and ARCADIAN would give this puzzle some bite for a newcomer without being overwhelming -- perfect Monday level. The year's Mondays started like this, then got too easy. Hopefully it's moving more in the January direction. I loved DIMENOVELS (is this what you collect, Rex?), TIJUANA, and DONEDEAL. And we have a tic-tac-toe of palindromes, AMA/SDS/TOT. Fun solve -- thank you Peter! -- and great start to the week.

    @whirred -- Did you do yesterday's puzzle?

    RAWEGGS looks green paintish to me. I tried to come up with a legitimate clue (Poacher's quarry?, i.e.), but whatever I came up with could have been better answered with simply "eggs". Wait... "Halloween prankster's cache?" "Rocky diet staple?"

    Loren Muse Smith 7:05 AM  

    I sniff around even on Mondays to get all the low-hanging fruit, and today it was SNAP and then POSSUM. So with POSSUM on the brain, my next entry was, I swear, "cement pond" for POLO LOUNGE.

    @chefwen – one of the groomsmen in my brother-in-law’s wedding had the nickname Hoss Fly. Wonder if he would have taken a shine to Buckskin.

    FWIW, I've had only one student tell me that a grandparent eats POSSUM, though can't we all hear Granny telling Jethro what's fer vittles? OPOSSUM is a word like "naked." OPOSSUM in its Sunday best belongs in a textbook or in a wildlife diorama with all kinds of other furry, busy stuffed creatures. POSSUM without its O, though, is a skulking critter either up to no good or already done got run over. (Michelangelo’s David is naked. The guy who streaked through my kids' assembly a couple of years ago was nekkid.)

    Also – my command to a dog was almost "sic." I've already told this “sic” story here, but that's never stopped me before. And by the way, @chefbea, I have *two* dutch ovens and use both all the time, and @Tita, I agree completely on kale. Tangential comments on words in a grid are one of the delights for me in Rexworld. Heck, they're my bread and butter, man. (In fact, I could picture in the above diorama, the docent saying, "And over here in the corner we see a skulking blog troll – an invertebrate- and one of the finest examples of why some rodents eat their young.")

    Anyway, in Chattanooga, we weren't allowed to say "sic" to Ginger, this ancient collie – everyone had a collie (except us Muses and our obese dachshunds) – but we were not allowed to say "sic" to Ginger because she would run, snarling, and attack the nearest tree with such viciousness and enthusiasm that it was baffling. And thrilling. So we said it to her all the time.

    I liked the puzzle, too, and am so glad I don't have to be among just a few. I was wondering if Rex would point out the outlier, I LOVE YOU – the only themer that is a statement *to* a man. It was my favorite themer, and it’s so in the language. But in fact, you could take lots of words from the grid and use them as an utterance to a MAN.

    When we weren’t telling Ginger to “sic,” we were playing the Famous Last Words game.

    STEER, MAN.
    CRAP, MAN.

    Peter – you are indeed da man. Perfect Mon.

    John V 7:21 AM  

    Meh. Only ever seen Rainman. Derivative, not interesting.

    Dorothy Biggs 7:38 AM  

    I have not heard of the movie "DEAD Man" unless it's Dead Man Walking. Looking it up, I see that both movies were released in 1995. The release dates were just a couple of months off in 1996 (May and February respectively). Looks like Dead Man had some decent names in it...but somehow I'd never heard of it.

    My first usual guess on three-letter brewery containers is a keg...I should know by now that it's usually VAT.

    Sure, some say ILOVEYOU, but a distinctive message associated with Valentine's Day is "Be Mine."

    POSSUMs don't play like they're sleeping, they play like they're dead.

    Easy peasy Monday.

    grammar nazi 7:46 AM  

    @jae, you're having a very bad morning indeed. "Myriad of..." is cringeworthy.

    Anonymous 7:57 AM  

    @ 'Mericans: your apology rings hollow.

    Z 8:08 AM  

    Over cooked sashimi - DONED EAL.

    MACS on top, MS-DOS on the bottom, just like in real life.

    @LMS - Did you see my late link? Anyhoo... In as much as I'm part Dutch, all my ovens are Dutch, but I don't think we have a Dutch Oven. Don't think less of me.

    On an almost related note, you never know when you are going to end up reading about zeugma.

    Kim Scudera 8:18 AM  

    Anyone else having trouble with the timer on the digital version? It's making times up when I resume the puzzle: Saturday's puzzle, already complete in a respectable 12:32, suddenly became an impossibly fast 2:04. Today's puzzle, clocked in at a miserable 6:37 when I had to pause it, suddenly became 14-something. Will? Joel?

    Charles Flaster 8:25 AM  

    EZ and well- constructed.
    Enjoyed ARCADIAN and DIME NOVELS.
    Thanks SAD.

    jberg 8:33 AM  

    My main problem, solving in the printed paper, was that my brain kept seeing the shaded bars as black, so that I was looking, for example, for a five-letter word for 'old pulp reading.' It wasn't a big problem, this was still pretty easy, even though I'm not much of a movie goer (just saw "When Marnie Was Here," though -- go see it!).

    I think the clue for RAW EGGS was intended to specify the kind of eggs in the batter, rather than in the cake -- but the time it's a cake, they're cooked. I had the RAW from crosses, so I wasn't fooled.

    My other main problem was that I thought the word was spelled PREEMIE. The term doesn't bother me, though -- have some in the family, and they're fine.

    @John Child, naw, it's two FORA.

    joho 8:34 AM  

    Terrific start to the week, thank you, Peter Collins!

    Loved the theme density. It made me think of what other movies had MAN in the title and all I could think of was SPIDER, BAT and ANCHOR.

    I used to love going to the POLOLOUNGE. We would always spot a movie star or famous author/screenwriter. So much fun. I wonder if celebrities still go?

    This was a SNAP with not a bit of CRAP!



    Rug Crazy 8:37 AM  

    If Rex had a problem with ROSE crossing ROSA yesterday,
    why not ONE crossing ONA today??

    Anonymous 8:45 AM  

    Encino Man

    Carola 8:56 AM  

    Reading the constructor's name, I looked forward to seeing how Peter Collins would apply his usual esprit to a Monday puzzle. I thought it was super - very easy, very lively. It was fun to see the range of movie men, from the dreamy I LOVE YOU, CINDERELLA to the thud of DEMOLITION and DEAD. And I thought all the long Downs were great. I liked the idea of ARCADIAN DIME NOVELS.

    Just for fun, I looked up to see what kind of women have been featured in movie titles in the "noun + woman" pattern: here we go: Leech Woman, Cobra Woman, Wasp Woman, Front Page Woman, Wonder Woman, Miracle Woman, Spider Woman, Ape Woman, Insect Woman. Hmmm.

    Name that tune 8:57 AM  

    It's a sunny Monday morning, the birds are chirping, and I finished 9th in a tournament, so I will be uncharacteristically kind to this Monday puzzle. It took me a ridiculously long time (just under 3 minutes). I will forego pointing out the sloppy ONE/ONA crossing, and I will fail to mention what an outlier AMENRA is ***for a Monday***. On a lees auspicious Monday, I would have said something like "AMENRA has no business being in a Monday puzzle. If you can't find a way not to use such obscure words in an early week puzzle, you have no business being a constructor (or editor) at all." But today the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and, did I mention, I finished 9th in a crossword tournament?

    Proud Mamma 9:03 AM  

    We referred to our twin infants as preemies, not premies.

    Anonymous 9:08 AM  

    You see, people caution not to sample cake batter because it has raw eggs in it. A concerned parent might admonish, "Don't lick the spoon, it's got raw eggs and you'll get salmonella!" Unless you're a frazzled mother of twin toddlers and are just happy now that they've eaten you won't have to prepare dinner. So I have no trouble with "raw eggs", especially since I'm the mom of twins.

    Anonymous 9:12 AM  

    Both PREMIE and PREeMIE are acceptable, so calm down people. Maybe PREMIE to Billy is like "moist" to Rex? Says more about the commenter than the author, methinks.

    ArtO 9:15 AM  

    NY Times printed in it's "corrections" section on page 2 today the erroneously worded BAABAA black sheep clue from last Tuesday. An issue that was pointed out by a couple of our astute bloggers here.

    Anonymous 9:15 AM  

    Just what we need around here to add to the show-offs in the old-timers club and the classical music pedants: proud helicopter mommies! What a wonderful trifecta.

    RooMonster 9:28 AM  

    Hey All !
    Nice MonPuz, Mr. Collins. It fascinates me how one can get relatively clean fill with this kind of theme density. I wonder how many iterations it took for that. I usually give up after two tries or so! :-)

    Nice open corners, and actually snuck in quite a few Scrabbly letters, J X W, but also was missing B K Q Z. Just an odd observation!

    Did some other puz that had ETATS as an answer. Clued something like, French word when spelled backward equals english version, or some such.

    SLATE IRON
    RooMonster
    DarrinV

    chefbea 9:37 AM  

    Fun easy puzzle...and yummy. Samoas have raw eggs in the batter...snap, crackle,pop treats do not
    @jae..I too play trivia crack - fun game.

    dk 9:38 AM  

    🌕🌕🌕🌕 (4 mOOOOns)

    One of the best Monday puzzles in a long time. Thank you Mr. Collins.

    RAWEGGS was a little out of place but it has me humming: I am The Egg Man.

    I expect Kobalt will be on me for royalties any second now.

    @Anon at 9:15 AM, You will be happy to know that helicopter daddies are on the horizon. Cue Ride of the Valkyreies. Not sure if they are wearing pendants or prancing like pundits…. time will tell.

    Dr. dk

    Miss Manners 10:01 AM  

    There is an issue of manners that has had me quite perplexed over the past few weeks, and I would like the assistance of commenters here to resolve it.

    Hypothetically, let's all assume that there's someone you really dislike, one that is offensive in the max, to all around. Someone's who's best appreciated in their absence. I'm sure we all know such people. The question is, does one thank them when they are absent? I usually advise people to send thank you notes when someone's done you a kindness, so a thank you would seem appropriate. On the other hand, the fact of a thank you note would serve only to point out that these people are heinous, and one should never gratuitously point such a fact out. One should only correct bad manners as they occur.

    So, for discussion purposes only, I propose the following solution: do both, as in

    @GN Bless you for your recent absence. It's made the blog a much nicer place. Also, "your myriad of creations..." is perfectly standard usage, supported by both dictionaries and documented common usage, so your point is both incorrect, as is "correcting" casual writing.

    Unknown 10:06 AM  

    So this was super easy for me. I just typed in answers, mostly without having to check crosses. This was almost a speed of light test for my ability to fill in a crossword.

    And it took me more than five minutes.

    I'm missing something. How could Rex do it in under three? Is he using a voice app I don't know about? Mind over matter? (TeleFill, the app that lets you think the letters onto the screen....)

    Does anyone know how hyperspeed solvers actually do it?

    quilter1 10:12 AM  

    I hope the rest of the week is as good as today's puzzle. Easy and fun to do. In the NICU we spelled PREMIES like this. Both spellings do the job. Did not know about the POLO LOUNGE before reading the blog, but got it from crosses. Sounds a little rich for my blood. Now that would be a good phrase to include in a crossword.

    Bob Kerfuffle 10:23 AM  

    Fine puzzle.

    Just the tiniest nit: Would have kept me guessing as to the theme until the very end if the reveal had been at the bottom instead of dead center.

    grammar nazi 10:24 AM  

    @Miss Manners: I think you meant "one who...," since you were referring to a person, rather than "one that...," in the first sentence of your second paragraph. Correct grammar usage around here would render me unnecessary. That seems unlikely to transpire.

    Nancy 10:32 AM  

    A nice enough puzzle, marred, at least for me, by the ever-so-straightforward Monday cluing. So here's a challenge for all you constructors out there (and I have the greatest admiration for every single one of you): Is it possible to turn this into a Friday or Saturday level puzzle by keeping the same answers, but making the clues REALLY hard? Just wondering. If it's raining where you are, as it's raining in NYC right now, it'll give you something interesting to work on. (Can't imagined that solving today's puzzle took up much of your time.)

    BTW, I have never tried, and never would try, to construct a puzzle myself. For me, it would be much too hard. But am I right in thinking that the hard, exasperating part is doing the grid, whereas the "fun" part is coming up with the clues? Again, just wondering. (All constructors are free to respond, even if you have no interest whatever in taking up my challenge.)

    Z 10:35 AM  

    @"Miss Manners" - I read Miss Manners in the Freep and have noted that she admonishes that it is always bad manners to correct bad manners unless one's children are the correctees.

    @Michael Fuchs - Your's is a question oft asked by newer posters here. I'm no speed solver, but I'd say being a touch typist and being able to read the next clue while typing the last helps. Having a wide knowledge of Ese helps. Lots of practice helps. And there is something to be said for just having that talent. Google Dan Feyer videos if you want to see a speed solver in action. I think Rex can be found solving on paper through the google machine as well. Personally, it is no more amazing to me than a major league ball player hitting a 100 mph fastball, a concert pianist, or Patrick Berry creating a near pangram without an E. There are lots of people able to do things I better or faster than I ever could.

    @grammar nazi - In case you were wondering.

    jdv 10:36 AM  

    @Kim not sure if it will help, but check to see if you're using the latest version of JAVA

    Miss Manners Fan 10:38 AM  

    that or who

    Ludyjynn 10:46 AM  

    Don't know why 'preemie' just looks better than PREMIE, even if both are 'correct'.

    Her shenanigans at the POLOLOUNGE recently got "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" celeb., Kim Richards, arrested for intoxication and resisting arrest, as well as probably getting her butt thrown off the show. Self-DEMOLITION at its best.

    Easy, peasy Monday was a SNAP. Thanks, PACman and WS.

    Unknown 10:53 AM  

    Great Monday puzzle. I also tend to do the mini puzzle with my kids every day. Today's included a word I did not know. ou·tro
    ˈoutrō/
    nouninformal
    the concluding section of a piece of music or a radio or television program.
    "the intros, outros, and bridges of various segments"
    Great word!

    Arlene 11:01 AM  

    Easy Monday - but after putting in CINDERELLA, I was looking forward to more of that as a theme, rather than the movies it turned out to be. Note to constructors reading this (hint hint) - my preference is fairy tales.

    grammar nazi 11:02 AM  

    ... of course, when I say "correct grammar usage around here would render me unnecessary," I'm exaggerating. I realize I am at once neither needed, nor wanted, here. I am a victim of my own obsessive/compulsive nature, but this is not solely my fault. My mother abused me with steel wool when my homework didn't meet her exacting standards, and if my toys crossed the dividing line painted across our shared bedroom my (younger, but physically superior) brother issued painful Dutch rubs until my hair fell out and awful welts developed on my scalp. I've seen analysts, but to no avail. And do you think I could ever hope to enjoy a meaningful relationship with a woman? I'll die a virgin....

    So pity me, even as you hate me.

    Oh, @MissManners: I realize I have skillfully avoided acknowledging your correction of my error; but as you can imagine, to admit a grammar mistake of my own makes me want to dive off the Trump Tower.

    Haiku Nerd 11:24 AM  

    MARATHON MARTY
    RAW EGGS STEROID IRON MAN
    ALAS I LOVE YOU

    grammar nazi 11:27 AM  

    Ooh my very own imitator! How flattering! I suppose that makes me an elite around here, like evil doug (haven't heard from him in a while), John Child, George Barany, and Nancy! I've hit the big time!

    grammar nazi 11:30 AM  

    I LOVE that song from Greece: "You're the One Whom I Want!"

    Tita 11:35 AM  

    @Lewis - your last 2 RAWEGGS clues are waaay better!
    @chefwen - lol - I tried putting flour, sugar, and fried eggs into one of those recipe calculators - it was stumped!!

    @lms - Last summer my cat befriended a POSSUM. 3 times we caught them out on the deck together - no feudin' er caterwaulin' - just real friendly-like.
    (ANd love your diorama!)


    @ArtO - Will Shortz will have to update his very short list of puzzle mistakes! Good catch to you and our resident astutes.

    @Nancy - at ACPT, the final puzzle has three versions - Really Hard, Impossible, and Sheer Torture. Same answers, different clues.

    Tangent - in my house growing up, one never EATS. One has dinner, has lunch, has breakfast. My mom would NEVER say "Time to eat!." Rather, "Time for dinner!"
    Maybe it's related to how Germans have different words for "to eat" for animals and for humans. Menschen essen, Tiere fressen.

    Hey - the Snow White conjunction - "FOR I have sinned" ...

    Fine Monday. Thanks Mr. Collins.

    Masked and AnonymoUUs 11:36 AM  

    Oh, man. Somethin here for everyone.

    Seems kinda a shame that the title for this fine MonPuz is just "Crossword".
    Better title: "Premie Tijuana Possum ona Steroid". Or somesuch. All sorts of good stuff to choose from.

    OONA, meet ONA.

    yo, @jae.

    Hey! --@63! You've been promoted!?! 9th Greatest Solver in the Universe? I can dig it -- Agent 009. License to Snark. Able to leap tall ratings in a single bound...

    fave weeject: SWM. As in personal ad: "Wanted: flood zone roommate. Must be able to SWM."

    M&A

    RooMonster 11:47 AM  

    A poem for tbe loved/hated Grammar Nazi (and apparently his troll!)
    (Sung to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star")

    Grammar Nazi is a pain
    He sure breeds some big disdain.
    Sometimes, though, he's fun to read
    Even if there is no need.
    Not sure if his story shared
    True, or so that we just cared.
    (Obviously not, troll trying sarcasm...)
    But at least he stays descent
    Let's not tell him to get bent!
    Better than the asshole trolls
    Whose talk is just utter droll.
    Take him with a grain of salt
    Wrong grammar is not his fault.

    Hope you enjoy!

    RooMonster

    old timer 11:54 AM  

    Now I get it! The amusing Mr. Rex Porker is actually an alias of Michael Sharp, AKA Our Fearless (or is it "Feckless") Leader. Because "Rex Parker" somehow forgot to say he finished 9th in the Indie tournament. But "Rex Porker" let us know, and let us know twice.

    Anonymous 11:55 AM  

    PLEASE . DO . NOT . FEED . THE . TROLLS

    Billy C 12:04 PM  


    @OT --

    Whoops, look again. Right side, near the top.

    mathguy 12:10 PM  

    @Steve J: Was it something we said?

    I follow the movies pretty closely, but I don't remember Dead Man coming out. What was the last good Johnny Depp movie?

    grammar nazi 1:08 PM  

    Wait--are there three of me? He's not I. I mean, I'm not he. Him isn't me. We're not they. At least, he's not we. Or us.

    grammar nazi 1:19 PM  

    Roo,

    I've met my match. You win. I'm exhausted just thinking of where to begin. No más.

    'mericans in Paris 1:37 PM  

    @ grammar nazi -- "obsessive-compulsive", please, not "obsessive/compulsive".

    grammar nazi 1:40 PM  

    Please dont feed the troll's.

    grammar nazi 1:46 PM  

    'mericans,

    You get rid of the stupid apostrophe first.

    GILL I. 1:46 PM  

    All you GN's sound like a bunch of juvenile idiots. How old are you anyway? Nyuck, Nyuck?
    @Tita. Same here except on my father's side it was called supper.
    One cheek kiss...

    grammar nazi 1:51 PM  

    I stepped away for a lunch meeting, only to find an impostor or two had posted under my name. I am very pleased to see so many here who care enough about the English language to imitate me, and I loved the poem, Mr. Monster. Those of you who ignore grammar will surely Roo the day.

    Anonymous 1:53 PM  

    Old timer@ 11:54: Interesting theory. However, Parker did direct us to his comments on the tournament, in which he mentioned his 9th place finish.

    Z 1:54 PM  
    This comment has been removed by the author.
    chasklu 1:56 PM  

    It's "Bless me father for I have sinned". The idea is that only God forgives.

    Z 1:57 PM  

    If I were Rex I would update my universal greatness status with a deep pre-schadenfreude knowing it would irk people in deep, deep, deep need of irking. On a related note - @M&A - I want me one of them there "License to Snark" thingies. Is there a fee?

    @grammar nazi - 9 posts? Get your troll/imitators (Hi 'MiP) under control, MAN. An imitator troll does put you in elite company, but the elitest company is reserved for those with a post mortem troll. I'm thinking we call such trolls Elvis Presleys.

    ***I type too slowly so had to update my GNP count.***

    grammar nazi 2:02 PM  

    @Z: I will try, but they are hard to conTroll. See what I did there?

    Remember, one man's troll is another man's bestie.

    3 and out for me.

    --the real GN.

    grammar nazi 2:10 PM  

    All I can tell you is: he's not "the real GN".

    grammar nazi 2:18 PM  

    Neither of them are.

    Proud Mamma 2:54 PM  

    Never felt anything but calm.

    Real GrammarNazi 3:00 PM  

    Neither of them IS.

    grammar nazi 3:33 PM  

    Which way to the Trump Tower?

    Sherlock Poirot 6:44 PM  

    Who is the real grammar nazi? Let's do some deducin' here:

    Grammar nazi's grammar at 2:18 rules him OUT.

    Grammar nazi's grammar at 3:00 rules him IN. But 3:00 grammar Nazi has capitalized his initial initials, which real grammar nazi NEVER does. Which rules 3:00 g.n. OUT.

    Grammar nazi at 1:46 is gratuitously nasty. Which rules him OUT.

    2:02 g.n. calls himself G.N. Which rules him OUT.

    3:33 grammar nazi shows a wry wit. He is a definite contender...

    ...As is 1:51 grammar Nazi, who shows a punny facility with the English language.

    So which is it: gn 1:51 or gn 3:33? I, Sherlock Poirot, have deduced that they're one and the same.

    kitshef 10:37 PM  

    Easiest puzzle ever?

    I think pretty much any clue not involving Rocky Balboa or salmonella makes RAW EGGS green paint.

    I LOVE YOU is an outlier as the only themer longer than one word.

    Watching Japan/Switzerland in women's world cup. Somehow I had completely forgotten that Japan won in '11.

    Aketi 12:38 AM  

    Starting to catch up on all the puzzles I missed last week. My brain seems to have recuperated from its near collapse from anxiety during the black belt test prep. I set a new speed record for myself with this puzzle. Must have been all that extra oxygen I sucked in during the 3 hour test. Haha, I am definitely kidding mylself; this was an easy fast Monday.

    @ Roo Monster, enjoyed your version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Twinkle Teinkle Little Star was in the background music in Dead Soace, the scariest and best video game series I ever played. Better than watchimg Aliens when it first came out.

    While it may be correct, preemie doesn't make as much sense to me as premie since it is short for "premature" baby. Premies actually do better when they get "kangaroo" care snuggled up on their parents' chest with skin to skin contact. When incubators first came out they actually kept infants isolatlated rom human touch, with strict rules for the nurses not to hold the babies. Turns out that they did a study and found out that the death rates were dramatically lower among the infants who were held by the nurses who disobeyed the doctor's orders. It is such a strong primal urge to hold these precious little babes that nurses were willing to risk their jobs. I have seen a lot of adorable little 4 pounders in my work soon after they are released home from the NICU.

    The robo checker gave me Guinness today, which felt appropriate to celebrate my new status.

    Unknown 12:57 PM  

    I am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for over 9 years and we had two kids. thing were going well with us and we where always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treated me and the kids. later that month he did not come back home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted traditional spell hospital for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he casted on him that make him come back to me. my family and i are now happy again. Thank you Dr. Aluta for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay. He cast spells for different purposes like
    (1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) Herbal care
    (10) is the only answer to that your problem of winning the lottery
    Contact him today on: traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com

    Unknown 4:27 AM  

    Hello everyone, my name is Wendy Blizz here is the testimony of my life, is unbelievable. Never knew people like dr.amigo still exist this shock me up till now. My hubby left me for another woman after 2years of marriage, i was heart broken I lost my job as a result of too many thoughts, I manage to care for our little son, until a friend of mine introduce me to Great dr.amigo spell caster, at first I didn't believe but I was persuaded with the testimony of him on how he has help people to bring their Ex-back, restore lost jobs, help to win lottery, spell for office promotion, spell to win court cases, spell for weight lose. With all this I decided to give it a try, I contacted him and narrated all my problems to him, he told me not to worry just to trust in him that my hubby will be back after 48hours of his rescue spell on him, exactly after his words things began to manifest my hubby came back pleading for forgiveness promising much love as never before. and my lost job was restored with new promotion, I'm a happy woman again because i felt life was over for me, this i will not forget in a hurry and also i want anybody that is passing through same challenges as mine or worst than mine should all look up to him for a prefect work. I promise to tell the whole world of him because he put a smile on my face and that is what he does to everyone that desire help and favor. All thanks to dr.amigo71@gmail.com. Contact him now, he is gifted and talented. More grace to your elbow sir. i am grateful.

    Burma Shave 9:04 AM  

    DIMENOVEL’S AXIOM

    After a MARATHON session at the POLOLOUNGE with a beautiful CINDERELLA,
    I said, “ILOVEYOU.” - the EFFECTS made a DONEDEAL, FORI was NAMED her fella.

    --- IRON MAN

    BS2 9:58 AM  

    SNAP CRAP

    RAWEGGS and hot DOGS are my EATS, as for MEDS –
    Give me a SIDEORDER of STEROIDs, if that CRAP won’t make me DEAD.

    --- AMENRA SAMOAS

    spacecraft 11:17 AM  

    I enjoyed this one thoroughly. The theme was Monday-easy but lots of fun, with the MAN in the middle--right where he should be. And to have such cool longer fill is a bonus not usually provided early-week.

    I remember "DEAD MAN Walking," the film that earned Susan Sarandon a well-deserved Oscar, but just DEAD MAN? Must be an old-timer. RAIN MAN, on the other hand, is in my all-time top five. One of those I can watch again and again. And do.

    Numbers in clues attract my attention, so the first cross that went in was ONE/EVENS. Bit of a paradox there, but amusing. More bonuses: I didn't know what ARCADIAN meant till today, or what those coconut cookies were called. Not sure why most people think of PREMIE as having three E's; we know it's short for premature, not preemature. I guess it's to avoid having pronunciation issues; PREMIE looks like it might be said "premmie." Nor can I fathom why anyone would object to seeing the word in a puzzle. As a former newborn nursery corpsman, I can attest they are the least offensive of creatures. We loved them all, mourned when we lost one, but partied hearty when we pulled one through. Parents would bring their PREMIE kids back for a visit every birthday, and we had a great time. I am truly sorry if any of you have lost one. Rest assured the medical team fought tooth and nail to keep them alive.

    Expanding on this: one time we had a little boy who was less than two pounds at birth--and we couldn't make him eat more than a couple of swallows. He was losing weight he couldn't afford to lose. Of course, the on-duty nurse took care of him--but on this particular day five women went into labor at once, and all available staff rushed to help--leaving me alone in the nursery. Hastily barked instructions were to make sure to feed the premie on time; there were four-ounce bottles prepared, but he never took half that much. So I introduced baby to bottle and said, "It's up to you, kid. You want it, you gotta fight for it." I was relaxed.

    Later, when the hullabaloo outside had subsided, the nurse returned and asked how our little friend did. I showed her the empty (!) bottle and told her I wasn't sure he was done! This marked a turnaround for the little guy, and he pulled through. I can offer no explanation, except maybe that others had somehow communicated their emotional tension: "Oh please, please eat or you'll die!" and that affected the outcome. It's not that I didn't care; it's just that I knew all I could do was stick the thing in his mouth. He had to do the rest.

    No, I don't really think I saved a life. I think it was coincidence; he'd have started eating no matter who was there. Still, I wonder...

    Next time I saw him, on his first birthday, he weighed 15 pounds. That was the best-tasting cake I ever had. Okay, back to our job here. With the memories it evoked, and the SIDEORDER of great fill, I give this an A+.

    rondo 11:21 AM  

    Workmanlike Mon-puz for me, so no bragging about a 3 minute solve.

    MILLI without Vanilli?

    If you ever get a chance to visit SALEM, Mass in October you should go. All that witchcraft stuff going on is quite the big deal.

    I was in San Diego in August, 2007 and witnessed Barry Bonds tying the home run record vs. the Padres. That was after a day spent in TIJUANA drinking Petron and hanging with the Corona Girls – had to chase the tequila with beer. $1.50 a shot and 99 cents for a bottle of beer, as I recall – spent about $20 there. Spent more than that at the pharmacies on little blue pills – they worked.

    So with that, I agree with OFL for once that this was a decent Mon-puz.

    Teedmn 9:51 PM  

    @Spacecraft, loved your story. In a way, I wish my job could give such satisfaction, but I also get to miss the agony of the lost ones.

    rondo 10:06 PM  

    @spacey - Agree with @Teed, nice story, makes alot of other stuff seem pretty small.

    rain forest 11:28 PM  

    Wonderful and heartwarming story,@Spacey. I say you saved a life...

    Makes commenting on this nice Monday puzzle somewhat irrelevant.

    What is relevant, sort of, is the fact that I will be absent from the blog until the end of October--little trip to France, Germany and Spain. I'll miss you guys/gals.

    Anonymous 12:43 PM  

    I thought RAW EGGS was weird until I remembered the (apparently apocryphal) story when cake mix was first introduced, it contained powdered eggs. Marketers found that home cooks felt like they weren't doing enough work, so the instructions were modified to require raw eggs. Nice story, even if it's not true: http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/cakemix.asp

    Unknown 4:51 PM  

    Am Stacey Bruno from USA, How i got my husband back,I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to USA, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better.How you can also contact him .Email: ( atilahealinghome@yahoo.com)

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