Rex Parker Does the NYT Crossword Puzzle: Per Bykodorov

Constructor: Per Bykodorov

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR (35A: Not quite right ... or a hint to this puzzle's circled letters) — circled letters contain anagrams of "CIGAR" (but never "CIGAR")

Theme answers:

TRAGICOMIC (16A: Like a film that's both sad and funny)
CHERRY GARCIA (22A: Ben & Jerry's flavor honoring a jam band legend)
MAGIC REALISM (46A: Genre for Gabriel Garcia Márquez's "One Hundred Years of Solitude")
CRAIGSLIST (56A: Online marketplace with a "barter" category)

Word of the Day: UTC (31D: World clock std.) —

Coordinated Universal Time (UTC) is the primary time standard globally used to regulate clocks and time. It establishes a reference for the current time, forming the basis for civil time and time zones. UTC facilitates international communication, navigation, scientific research, and commerce.
UTC has been widely embraced by most countries and is the effective successor to Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) in everyday usage and common applications. In specialised domains such as scientific research, navigation, and timekeeping, other standards such as UT1 and International Atomic Time (TAI) are also used alongside UTC.
UTC is based on TAI (International Atomic Time, abbreviated TAI, from its French name "temps atomique international"), which is a weighted average of hundreds of atomic clocks worldwide. UTC is within about one second of mean solar time at 0° longitude, the currently used prime meridian, and is not adjusted for daylight saving time.
The coordination of time and frequency transmissions around the world began on 1 January 1960. UTC was first officially adopted as a standard in 1963 and "UTC" became the official abbreviation of Coordinated Universal Time in 1967. The current version of UTC is defined by the International Telecommunication Union. (wikipedia)

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Really torn here. The theme, particularly the revealer, is very clever. It's a perfect grid-spanning 15 and it almost perfectly describes what's going on in those circled squares. I mean, if you typo'd "AGICR" for "CIGAR," no one would say that was "close," but for the purposes of this puzzle, it's close enough. It's a great revealer, and this anagram stuff seems like a nice, early-week thing to do with the revealer—a nice way of visually expressing the revealer. And thank god for that revealer, because it absolutely rescues what to that point had been, and what largely continued to be, an abysmal solving experience. The fill on this one was making me recoil at every turn. It felt so old-fashioned, so tin-eared, and at times just outright off-putting. No one wants to think about Bill BARR ever again, and that is a fact (37D: Former attorney general Bill). "Bill BARR? MUST I think about Bob BARR again?" Apparently I must. But he's just part of a bad-short-fill avalanche that starts in the NW and never really starts. SGTS LIRA ARI TEC (again, No One says "TEC") UTERI MENSA (ugh, again?), YESNO CRIT ICBM LING CEOS ALEPH ASEA CTRL. Worse, the puzzle debuts (debuts?!) a possible (god forbid) future bit of ugly three-letter crosswordese: UTC. I was like "oof, what is this 3-letter initialism and also why don't I know it? I must've seen it a bunch in crosswords, as it is ugly and three letters." But no. It's A Debut. So if you didn't know if (as I did not), don't feel too bad. Let's all collectively pray it goes away and never comes back. OK? Amen.

I think MURSE was the thing that nearly made me slam my computer shut (30D: Container for keys, wallet, razor, etc., in a modern portmanteau). First of all, no. And second of all, stop. And finally, third of all, no. No One Says This. People say "TEC" way more than they say "MURSE," that's how much they say "MURSE" (they don't). This is one of those portmanteaus that the puzzle keeps trying to convince you is a thing, only it's not. If it is (it's not), it's only a thing "jocularly." No one is going to utter that term without smirking. And LOL "razor"? Dudes just carrying their razor around in their MURSEs for some reason? "Modern portmanteau" on what planet? This is not the modern world. Also, why are you calling CBD gummies "trendy" (56D: Ingredient in some trendy gummies, for short). People who take CBD gummies are not (I presume) trying to look cool or otherwise get with the times. They are "modern," in the sense that they haven't been around that long, but "trendy" is weird. Feels off, and kind of patronizing / dismissive.

Lastly, and most jarringly, the genre in question is called "magical realism." Wikipedia lists "MAGIC REALISM" as an alternative, but it also lists "marvelous realism" as an alternative, and who in the world has ever called it that, come on. As someone who has been Lit CRIT-adjacent his whole life (ugh, it hurts even to type "CRIT," I wish I could express to you how not-used "Lit CRIT" is as an expression...), the only term I've ever heard for the genre in question is "magical realism." But then you can't hide an almost-cigar in "magical realism," so here we are. In short, I loved the revealer on this one almost as much, maybe just as much, as I hated the fill. But hey, if you liked (or hated) MIRACLE-GRO, you can thank (or blame) me, as I debuted that answer in 2013. This is only its second appearance (10D: Big name in fertilizers).

15A: ___ for sore eyes (www.optometrists.com?) (SITE) — this one made me laugh, almost literally. "That is not how you sp-! ... oh, good one." Coincidentally, I have an eye exam later today (thankfully, my eyes are not sore, I'm just overdue for a check-up)
3D: Cleaning product with a mythical name (AJAX) — it's a scouring powder ... also a Greek warrior from the Iliad, sometimes referred to as AJAX the Great. There's also an AJAX the Lesser, which ... sucks for that man, how'd you like to go through (after)life with "the Lesser" hanging around your neck? Somehow both AJAXes ("ajaces?") are in the Iliad. It's mildly confusing.
5D: Performer at ozashiki parties (GEISHA) — "ozashiki" would've been my Word of the Day if not for the heretofore unknown (to me) UTC.


Ozashiki (お座敷): A term for a geisha's engagements, which may take part or the whole of an evening. The term ozashiki combines the name for a banqueting room, zashiki (座敷), and the honorific prefix o- (お), changing the meaning to a term exclusively referring to the engagements a geisha takes. (wikipedia)

17D: The so-called "Goddess of Pop" (CHER) — love her, but never heard her called this. Heard Michael Jackson called the "King of Pop" (always an embarrassing moniker), but this "Goddess" stuff is news to me. Not disputing it. Just saying: news.
13A: Figure once marketed as "America's movable fighting man" (GI JOE) — and this is why you read the clues! I had the "-IJ--" in place and my very experienced solving brain went, "ah, easy: DIJON!" "A Real American Hero! Grey Poupon is there! Dijon Jooooe!!"