1985 Ralph McInerny novel / FRI 3-14-14 / Rectangular paving stone / Gervasi who directed 2012's Hitchcock / Longtime airer of any Questions /

Constructor: Alan Olschwang

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: none

Word of the Day: "THE NOONDAY DEVIL" (3D: 1985 Ralph McInerny novel) —

The KGB has infiltrated the Catholic church hierarchy in America! That's the chancy premise of this thriller by the author of the Father Dowling mysteries and other Catholic-theme novels (Connolly's Life, The Priest). But, despite more than a few implausibilities, McInerny manages to avoid the heavy, shrill, or murky dangers inherent in such a notion--thanks to charmingly offbeat characters, a variety of issue-viewpoints, uncluttered plotting. . . and a hint of tongue-in-cheek. Cardinal Fergus of N.Y., leader of the US Church's right wing, has been assassinated in Rome by leftist terrorists. So the Church's left wing--led by Cardinal Carey of San Francisco, supported by ex-monk Matt Hanratty, religion editor at the N. Y. Times--quickly comes up with a two-part agenda: to grab some power away from the Pope by ""electing"" Fergus' successor at a meeting of US clergy; and to make sure that the post doesn't go to another right-winger. Meanwhile, however, Myrtle Tillman, devoted secretary to the murdered Cardinal, has taken his secret legacy--a dossier on the KGB's Church infilitration--to rightwing think-tanker Harold Packard, who hires quirky shamus Philip Knight to determine which of three bishops (all candidates for the N.Y. post) is a KGB mole. And then the novel takes its oddest, least credible twist: at their unprecedented election-meeting, the National Conference of Catholic Bishops winds up choosing an unknown Trappist monk, saintly Abbot Peregrine, as N.Y.'s new archbishop! Was Peregrine's election a KGB plot? Is he too a mole? How many KGB-ers, indeed, are lurking beneath robes and cassocks? Well, sleuth Knight (with help from his grossly fat mad-genius-brother) figures it all out--but not before the most ruthless of the KGB agents starts trying to kill just about everybody. . . including adorably feisty Myrtle. Shrewdly balanced between timely issues (e.g., liberation theology) and light Hitchcockian suspense, nicely warmed by flickers of middle-aged romance: a bright, neat tangle of Machiavellian clerics and cynical journalists--entertaining even if you don't go along with the undercurrent of serious KGB-alarm. (Kirkus review)

• • •

Way off my wavelength. Way way. These things happen. Between RON, ELLIE, SACHA, and (esp.) "THE NOONDAY DEVIL," the proper names were just beyond my grasp today. I had a lot of trouble finding *any* information on "THE NOONDAY DEVIL." I've never even heard of the author, Ralph McInerny. Jay McInerney, I've heard of. "The Noonday DEMON," I've actually heard of—it's a bestselling book about depression from a few years back. But Devil? Ralph? One-e McInerny? No way. The 15s are pretty decent in this one, the shorter stuff (predictably) pretty awful. Super-choppy grid gets us lots of 3s and 4s. I'm always put off by a bad NW corner, and this one is pretty dire. GOTAB and its ilk (namely, I guess, GOTAC and GOTAD) are deeply unwelcome. Slightly less unwelcome than, say, GOTACAT, but not much less. And IIN … is IIN. Short stuff didn't get worse from there (how could it?), but it didn't improve. That said, I've seen worse. My main problem with this is that it appears to have been written / clued by someone who lives on a different planet from me and shares virtually none of the same experiences as me. Planet Olschwang. I simply don't live there. But someone probably does, so if he/she enjoyed this (more), fantastic.


Thought the [Longtime airer of "Any Questions?"] was PBSRADIO. That one help-hurt. There should be a word for that—helped me and hurt me simultaneously. Had no idea Mecca and Medina were oases. They are the birthplace and burial place of Muhammed, respectively … that is mostly all I know about them. Thought you needed a GUN or a SKI to be a biathlete, but AIM probably helps too. "WE'RE back!" If you say so. I know SETT now, but it still always makes me sad. Same with ROTOS. I know you are defensible "words," but please go away. Had PALMS for a second at 50D: Holders of many selflies. Seemed plausible. COMPLEX ANALYSIS is just a random phrase to me; had no idea it was a branch of mathematics. This is what I mean about being on a different planet. I just wasn't the ideal audience for this puzzle. So it's important to distinguish the grumpiness caused by objectively bad stuff (quality of the short fill) vs. that caused by an unfamiliar frame of reference and different taste. Sometimes I don't particularly like a puzzle and it's not entirely the puzzle's fault. This is one of those times.

I am, however, having fun trying to reclue GOTAB. [Cheer for one's favorite diet soft drink?] [Slogan for a single torso muscle?] Etc.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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Former Belgian national airline / SUN 11-10-13 / Genus of small rodents / Massenet opera based on Greek myth / S Merkerson four-time NAACP Image Award winning actress / Old camera settings / Massachusetts motto starter / Poem that ends This ghoul haunted woodland of Weir / Jesse Leo of sitcoms / Nickname for Huntington Beach CA / Books in running brooks Shakespeare

Constructor: Alan Olschwang

Relative difficulty: Medium 

THEME: "Bye-lines" — famous closing-line catchphrases

Theme answers:

• HIYO SILVER, AWAY!
• THE BALCONY IS CLOSED
• TH- TH- TH- TH- THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
• SAY GOODNIGHT, GRACIE
• AND MAY GOD BLESS

Word of the Day: ASAS (59A: Old camera settings, for short) —

Based on earlier research work by Loyd Ancile Jones (1884–1954) of Kodak and inspired by the systems of Weston film speed ratings and General Electric film values, the American Standards Association (now named ANSI) defined a new method to determine and specify film speeds of black-and-white negative films in 1943. ASA Z38.2.1-1943 was revised in 1946 and 1947 before the standard grew into ASA PH2.5-1954. Originally, ASA values were frequently referred to as American standard speed numbers or ASA exposure-index numbers. (See also: Exposure Index (EI).)

The ASA scale was arithmetic, that is, a film denoted as having a film speed of 200 ASA was twice as fast as a film with 100 ASA. (wikipedia)

• • •

It is comical how badly edited this puzzle is. Sure, we all enjoy these somewhat-to-very familiar catchphrases (even if there are Only Five Of Them), fine. But the fill!? Not just that, but the Absurd crossings. Honestly, I almost never encounter a completely blind cross (aka "Natick") any more, but I had Two today. Total guess at SABENA (1A: Former Belgian national airline) (!?!?!?! "bygone") / ENO (4D: 2005 Drama Pulitzer finalist Will) (!?!?! "finalist") and again, and worse, at EPATHA (49D: S. ___ Merkerson, four-time N.A.A.C.P. Image Award-winning actress) (!? x one million) / ASAS (59A: Old camera settings, for short) (uh… "old"). Indescribably bad fill crossed in ways that are laughably unfair. HA ha. I mean, I guessed right, but I could easily have guessed wrong, in multiple different ways, in both cases. And that's *knowing* ARIANE (2D: Massenet opera based on Greek myth), which … why would you know that? "Greek myth" *barely* helps. We know her as "Ariadne" if we know her at all. The problem with having good xword-making technology nowadays is that you can Really tell when the constructor doesn't use it. I gotta believe using Compiler (PC) or CrossFire (Mac) would've really, really helped iron the absolutely subpar junk out of this puzzle. Don't Be Afraid of Technology. Most constructors simply can't hang, nowadays, without it. It can't make your puzzles good, or smart, or funny, but it sure as hell can keep you from crossing EPATHA and ASAS, my god is that even real or am I still drunk? Wow.


So, theme was easy, fill somewhat less so. [Genus of small rodents], HA ha. That's an actual clue. The answer is MUS! What year is it? Did Will discover Maleska's Last Puzzle under some old books and just decide "oh what the hell? Run it!"? TBEAM!? Seriously, this stuff is making me laugh out loud now.  I wrote in COSIN for COTAN, OENONE (?) for ARIANE, and CATTAILS for RATTAILS. I think that covers my major hiccups, anyway. Oh, UOMO for HOMO and IPODMINI for IPODNANO. That's all. Folks. Fingers crossed for a better tomorrow.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. I liked SURF CITY (9D: Nickname for Huntington Beach, Calif.). A lot.

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Sacred Buddhist mountain / FRI 4-2-10 / 1905 revolt setting / Periods added to harmonize lunar solar calendars / Teetotaler's order

Constructor: Alan Olschwang

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: none


Word of the Day: OMEI (21A: Sacred Buddhist mountain) —

Mount Emei (Chinese: 峨嵋山; pinyin: Éméi Shān; Wade-Giles: O²-mei² Shan¹, literally towering Eyebrow Mountain) is a mountain in Sichuan province of Western China. Mount Emei is often written as 峨眉山 and occasionally 峩嵋山 or 峩眉山 but all three are translated as Mount Emei or Mount Emeishan. // This is the location of the first Buddhist temple built in China in the 1st century CE. The site has seventy-six Buddhist monasteries of the Ming and Qing period, most of them located near the mountain top. The monasteries demonstrate a flexible architectural style that adapts to the landscape. Some, such as the halls of Baoguosi, are built on terraces of varying levels, while others, including the structures of Leiyinsi, are on raised stilts. Here the fixed plans of Buddhist monasteries of earlier periods are modified or ignored in order to made full use of the natural scenery. // The Leshan Giant Buddha (simplified Chinese: 乐山大佛; traditional Chinese: 樂山大佛; pinyin: Lèshān Dàfó) was built during the Tang Dynasty (618–907). It is carved out of a cliff face that lies at the confluence of the Minjiang, Dadu and Qingyi rivers in the southern part of Sichuan province in China, near the city of Leshan. The stone sculpture faces Mount Emei, with the rivers flowing below his feet. It is the largest carved stone Buddha in the world and at the time of its construction was the tallest statue in the world. // The Mount Emei Scenic Area, including Leshan Giant Buddha Scenic Area has been listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site since 1996. It was not damaged by the 2008 Sichuan earthquake. (wikipedia)

• • •

This started out easy and then turned. NW, piece of cake, helped along by intersecting longish crosswordese, ADAM'S ALE (15A: Teetotaler's order) and ODESSA (2D: 1905 revolt setting). The NE, however, did not want to play ball. I got HIE and then ... nothing. Came at it from underneath, but getting north of MOVES INTO proved tricky. OMEI!? Eeks. If I've seen this before, it's been a while. As you can see from the "Word of the Day" write-up, above, Mount EMEI appears to be the more accepted spelling, though I wouldn't have gotten that either. Finally came up with MIAMI as an "I"-ending city (11D: Home to Seaquarium and MetroZoo), which gave me the cleverly clued HUMANS (9A: Around-the-world race) and the OK IS IT OK? (16A: "Would you mind...?").



The SE was the real bear, though. RNASE is about the ugliest combo of letters I've ever seen in the grid. I sort of guessed it from the clue (33D: Biochemical enzyme, briefly), but only tentatively. Bigger problems with the mysterious BETTE Greene (49D: Greene who wrote "Summer of My German Soldier") and the out-of-my-knowledge-base EPACTS (43D: Periods added to harmonize the lunar and solar calendars). Scary. [Online treaties], that's how I would have clued EPACTS before today. Since I thought 49A: Cherry alternative was going for soda and not wood, BEECH was slow going. Might have put PEACH in there at some point. I had -ESTRIDE and still didn't know what to do at 59A: Spin out on wheels?. That clue is trying awfully hard to be cute. Makes me GNAR a little (34D: Growl). Speaking of GNAR ... KNORR (39D: Campbell's competitor). Don't see those together too often. Is that how you spell the possessive of "Campbell's?" Hmm (mmm, mmm), it seems that technically the name of the company is "Campbell." TV ads have been misleading me for decades.



It's hard to see what the seed answers were for this puzzle. Can't believe they were AEROPERU (35D: 1970s-'90s international carrier based in Lima) and USPOSTAGE (10D: It increased to 4 cents per oz. in 1958). Would have been nice if the difficulty level had been a little more consistent throughout the puzzle. I had very easy in the NW, easy in the SW, toughish in the NE, and quite tough in the SE. Easily half my time was spent in the region south of RNASE and east of EPACTS. I enjoyed it in parts, and I always like fighting through stuff I just don't know and ending up with a perfect grid anyway — confidence-booster. But without any real gold, the puzzle falls into the category of Just OK for me.

Bullets:

• 32A: King-high games (ECARTES) — more longish crosswordese for you. Learned this game from crosswords.
  
• 38A: One picking up a lot (NEATNIK) — this clue got me. I figured "lot" would be a parcel of land. I felt like every guy who has ever been on the other end of an Allen Iverson double crossover. I anticipate the zig but the zig was a feint and turns seamlessly into a zag. I fall on my ass. Clue hits a short jumper and laughs.
  
• 42A: Where la Croix-Rouge is headquartered (GENÈVE) — French in clue = French answer. Here, the French form of GENEVA.
  
• 47A: Rumble in the Jungle strategy (ROPE-A-DOPE) — a complete gimme. Also, the best thing in the grid by a mile.

[Explanation around the 7 min. mark]

• 52A: Important Indian (RANEE) — I had CHIEF :(
  
• 3D: Virgin Blue rival (QANTAS) — just what the grid needs: another airline.
  
• 7D: Big Italian daily (IL TEMPO) — confused it with the big French daily and wrote in IL MUNDO.
  
• 18D: Spillover stopper (LEVEE) — ideally, yes.
  
• 55D: MP3 player maker (RCA) — uh ... what? Really? What's it called? Aha, the LYRA. Well, there's a crossword answer for you. I guess someone had to compete with the ZUNE for distant second place in the MP3 player market.
  

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

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Irish statesman Cosgrave —FRIDAY, 11/20/09— Only private non-American to address joint session Congress 1989 / Cape Cod components / Net Nanny no-no

Constructor: Alan Olschwang

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: lots of phrases with "UP" in them (or, none)

Word of the Day: LIAM Cosgrave (24D: Irish statesman Cosgrave) — Liam Cosgrave (Irish: Liam Mac Cosgair; born 13 April 1920) served as the Taoiseach of Ireland between 1973 and 1977 and is the son of W. T. Cosgrave, Head of Government from 1922 to 1932). [seems his father, William T. Cosgrave, was a much bigger deal ... and why have I never seen TAOISEACH in a puzzle?] (wikipedia)

-----

A fine Friday outing, though the stuff that's supposed to be flashy (JAZZERCISE — 1A: Tae Bo alternative / ZOLAESQUE — 4D: A la the founder of literary naturalism) is stuff we've seen before, so the wow factor is a bit dampened. Also, three phrases with "UP" in them (RE-UP, STORE UP, ANTES UP)? What's that about? At two, I thought, "well that's no good." At three I thought there might be a theme I was missing. You'll let me know if that's true. In addition to the UPs, there was an IN, an ON, and an OUT. I was going to say that JAZZERCISE is not and never was a [Tae Bo alternative] in that nobody did JAZZERCISE after 1985, but I'm wrong. Somehow, it still exists. As for ZOLAESQUE, it's one of the more memorable answers in the movie "Wordplay" — when Trip Payne (solving on stage in the finals) finally figures it out he exclaims something like "Oh dear god!" in a completely disbelieving tone. Good stuff.

Only section that was truly effortless for me was the W-to-SW passage. Even without knowing LIAM, I was able to ride the momentum from ZOLAESQUE straight down the western seaboard. Picked up ZIPLOC (51A: Baggie biggie) off just the "O," and since KRIS was a gimme (63A), I had the "Z" and the "K" that would have made OZARKS easy even if I hadn't seen it (and almost this identical clue — 45D: Buffalo National River locale) only a month or so ago.

NW took a little work because even though JAZZERCISE was a fat gimme, GABLE ROOFS sure as hell was not (17A: Cape Cod components). Thought "Cape Cod" might be, I don't know, a drink? TABLE ROOTS? House type somehow didn't occur to me, and even if it had, I don't know that I could have told you the kind of roof such a house involved. Had JAB instead of JOG for a bit, which didn't help matters (1D: Nudge). SAFE was also invisible to me for a while — 9D: First call? is a pretty sweet clue. How in the world I remember ERSKINE Bowles's name, I have No idea (10D: 1990s White House chief of staff). Lucky me.

Last stand and toughest part for me was the SE. Despite having had a very public bout with "Ochlocracy" in a previous puzzle (I lost), I could Not remember its definition today. You win again, "Ochlocracy!" I had to piece MOB RULE together, which took some time. PETRI DISH was easy (33D: Germs grow in it), but I had CORE for CRUX (38D: Central point) and clearly had no idea what to make of 50D: Double whole notes (breves). I think BREVES are fancy coffee orders to me. That first "E" in BREVES was the last letter to go in the grid, and I just stared at that blank space for many, many seconds, wondering what in the world kind of word CU-D could make. CUAD? Maybe some letter in BREVES was wrong ... Finally just ran the alphabet. CUED! (56A: Ready to be played) D'OH! At some point I had ON CD for this answer. Also, for 56D: Firm wheels, for short, I had LIMO.

Bullets:

• 11A: English pop duo _____ & Dave (Chas) — though I'm sure I've said this before: "Who???"

[those poor kids have no idea what to make of the song ... they're just standing there]

• 22A: Only private non-American to address a joint session of Congress (1989) (Walesa) — the year Really helped here. "Private non-American" is a weird phrase.
• 25A: Sharpness gauge (IQ test) — needed "EQUUS" to get this one (21D: 1977 Richard Burton film)
• 34A: Net Nanny no-no (smut) — I can't wait for the musical adaptation of this clue: "No, No, Net Nanny!"

• 36A: Breaking capacity, briefly (SRO) — "breaking" = over, I guess.
• 53A: TV neighbor of Ralph and Alice (Trixie) — Norton's wife on "The Honeymooners"

• 2D: Baptist leader? (Ana-) — nice clue.
• 11D: Umbrella bird's "umbrella" (crest) — man, that's a stupid-looking bird. The Elvis impersonator of the bird world.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

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THURSDAY, Jan. 4, 2007 - Alan Olschwang

Solving time: Under Protest

THEME: Punctuation - Rebus (or so I thought) puzzle where punctuation symbols stand in for letters in theme answers and their crosses, e.g. 49A: President (,nder-in-chief - that is [COMMA]nder-in-chief)

Oh, applet. Applet, applet, applet. If it's a rebus, then symbols go where letters normally would. So why, when I put all the right symbols in the right places, would you Not Accept My Grid!? I know, I'm a novice at the applet, and I should have known the rule (is it a rule?) that you just put in the First Letter of whatever symbol or idea or multi-letter entry is supposed to go there. I figured this out very very late. My official time is something over 20 minutes, which is ridiculous. I'm guessing it was closer, much closer, to 10, but I'll never know, as I didn't look at the time when I first pressed "DONE" and I had hidden the clock anyway. So ugh x infinity. Plus one. But seriously, for this puzzle of all puzzles, why not just accept the . and , and : and - ?

I will wait til tomorrow to blog this, as my frustration is too fresh for me to see the puzzle clearly. It has many fine features, and my big big problems were in the N and especially NW, where 14A: Puncture (hole) eluded me til the Very Last Second (or what would have been the Very Last Second if the applet had behaved properly). I had BORE, both because I did not know 3D: Asia's Trans _____ Mountains (Alai) (I had URAL at first), and because I could not see 1D: Tool holder (shed) for the life of me and thought maybe an S-BED was something... that's my favorite preposterous supposition in a good long while. Both the SHED and the HOLE clues are pretty tricky, the former because "holder" somehow suggests a belt or some other implement actually keeping the tools in place or elevated, and the latter because "puncture" immediately suggests verb, not noun (though upon reflection, yes, "puncture" can indeed be a noun). So when the applet rejected my first come-on, I thought my NW corner was still f-ed up. The whole SHED-HOLE struggle had me doubting myself. But after many, many diligent scans of the Entire Grid, I decided no, the grid is right ... there is a technical problem. When I saw that you cannot put more than 4 letters in a single square, I thought "well, COMMA has five letters, so that will never work," and so I remained stumped until I finally read the fine print about the first letter of a symbol being adequate. Even when I changed all the symbols to letters, I was very very dubious that this would have any effect. And yet ... tada!

43D: Pork _____ (loin)
51D: Show eager anticipation (drool)

These words really should not be anywhere near each other, especially with NUDE (21D: Botticelli subject) and CRAVE (52D: Hunger for) so nearby. It's all too disturbing. ABRADES (42D: Rubs) isn't helping.

48A: Having I-strain? (selfish)
9D: Small bag (carry-on)

These words both want to be other words. Every time I look at this grid I keep seeing SHELLFISH - the word sits underneath PAELLA for god's sake (44A: Spanish entree) - and CRAYON. Likewise, REINA (19A: Isabel, for one) looks like its missing a "T" and SHIRR - well that word just looks wrong in any context.

63A: Singular, to Caesar (rara)

Ooh, I don't like this. "Singular" seems to imply, if not outright declare, ONE-ness, where RARA means "rare." I understand that somehow, colloquially, "singular" means exceptional and not necessarily unique, but still, I was looking for some form of one, like UNA or something.

20A: Condescend (deign)
32A: Poured (rained)
19A: Isabel, for one (reina)
58D: Skates (rays)
66A: Uncommon trick taker (trey)

When the REINA would not DEIGN to help her subjects, God sent a plague: it RAINED RAYS for TREY days.

9D: Small bag (carry-on)

Hmmm. "Small" compared to what? A CARRY-ON is huge compared to a toiletries bag (which, incidentally, I no longer CARRY ON airplanes, as officials are sure to confiscate it for its dangerous shampoos and unguents). I really wish this answer had been clued ["_____ My Wayward Son"].

15A: "The Last of the Mohicans" woman (Cora)
68A: _____ Gwyn, mistress of Charles II (Nell)

These two answers were blind spots for me, but gimmes for Polly (my new name for my wife - I've been instructed by Andrew not to refer to her as "Wife" anymore, as it sounds misogynist, bigoted [I wrote "bigtoed" just now, ha ha], and hateful to him. Done and done, sir). This is the second CORA this week that I haven't known. Makes me wish for the return to the puzzle of Irene CARA. My knowledge of Fenimore Cooper's work begins and ends with Twain's evisceration thereof - one of the greatest pieces of humor / literary criticism ever written, especially if you have ever been forced to endure a Cooper novel. NELL Gwyn was somewhere in the back of my mind, as I have a friend / colleague who is deliriously and orgasmically in love with all things Charles II. Seriously. He came [!] dressed as Charles II to a Halloween party last year (I, on the other hand, put on my Batwoman T-shirt, then spent the rest of the night saying "... no, BatWOMAN ... she's a lesbian now, you know...").

25A (THEME): Sprint (hundred yard -)
13D (THEME): Haphazardly (slap -)

SLAP [DASH] gave me the theme in one epiphanic moment early in the solving experience. Or, rather, it clued me into the rebusness. I thought [DASH]es would be everywhere, but then [COMMA]NDER-IN-CHIEF forced a reconsideration of that assumption. The theme answer it somehow took me longest to get was 40A: Without a regular schedule (a[period]ically), first because it's a word you hardly ever hear, and second because in puzzle-rush mode, I was not paying attention to precisely where rebuses should go. The Down cross, 29D: Week or month at the office, usually (pay [period]), was not helping, as I had only the PA- (the "Y" being as yet invisible because SYM (37A: Kind of orch.) is not an abbrev. with which I was familiar, though yes I can see that it stands for "SYMphony"). Where was I? O, the themes. The [colon] was also tricky at first - even after I had figured out 33A: Haiti, once (French [colon]y)), I couldn't get 35D: Wearers of eagle insignias ([colon]els) for way too long. Wanted COLONIALS or COLONISTS. Damn Your Unphonetic Spelling, COLONELS!

Enjoyed seeing 59A: Sci-fi figure ('droid) in the grid. Like the way DIOR (31A: Classic Paris couture house) is sitting in a very neatly centered way right atop the FRENCH in FRENCH [COLON]Y. Somewhere I.M. PEI and Mr. and Mrs. ROPER (from TV's "Three's Company" as well as the short-lived spin-off "The Ropers") are feeling slighted that they were passed up as cluing options in this puzzle (see 44D: Canadian prov. and 22A: Rodeo performer - the latter of which I had initially answered with CLOWN, which, coincidentally, was what I felt like when I kept getting rejected by the applet ... and the commentary has come full circle).

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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