1974 CIA spoof / THU 8-13-20 / Fitting nickname for athletes at Whittier College / Sea creature pictured on flag of Anguilla

Constructor: Jon Olsen

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium (5:42)

THEME: THREE MUSKETEERS (57A: Group whose motto is a hint to this puzzle's theme) — "All for one and one for all—letter strings "ONE" and "ALL" are swapped inside all the themers, resulting in, well, gibberish:

Theme answers:

• FONEINGROCKZALL  (i.e. falling rock zone) (17A: Sign on a mountain roadway)
• RHALLVONEEY (i.e. Rhone Valley) (22A: Famed French wine region)
• PHALLCONE (i.e. phone call) (35A: Dinnertime annoyance)
• SLY STONEALL (i.e. Sly Stallone) (51A: Actor with a "Rocky" performance, familiarly)

Word of the Day: bird's nest soup (32D: What the nests in bird's-nest soup are made of => SPIT) —

Edible bird's nests are bird nests created by edible-nest swiftlets, Indian swiftlets, and other swiftlets using solidified saliva, which are harvested for human consumption. They are particularly prized in Chinese culture due to their rarity, high nutritional value in nutrients such as protein, and rich flavor. Edible bird's nests are among the most expensive animal products consumed by humans, with nests being sold at prices up to about $3,000 per pound ($6,600/kg), depending on grading. The type or grading of a bird's nest depends on the type of bird as well as the shape and color of the bird's nest. It is usually white in color, but there also exists a red version that is sometimes called "blood" nest. According to traditional Chinese medicine, it promotes good health, especially for the skin. The nests have been used in Chinese cuisine for over 400 years, most often as bird's nest soup. (emph. mine) (wikipedia)

• • •

When I was done, all I could think about was SPIT, and about how sad that was. SPIT. As a piece of land or a slender rod for roasting meat, I don't mind the word, but as a rough synonym for "saliva," I find it gross, mostly because it evokes the (human) activity of spitting. You can keep your SPIT out of my puzzles, thanks. But the presence of SPIT here was made so so so much worse by the really weird and misleading clue. I have to believe that the term for what the nests are made of is "saliva." SPIT is a slangy word associated with humans. The idea that birds make their nests with SPIT seems ... odd. I will admit that I had no idea that the nests were saliva-based and in fact I assumed that there was some other culinary thing called "bird's nest soup" involved here in which the "nests" were made of, say, vermicelli. I thought the answer was gonna be a more typical human food thing. I had SPI- and would not write in the last letter / assumed I had an error until the very, very end. I'm never going to believe that SPIT > saliva here. SPIT is an informal, grosser form of the word, and I can't see how it squares with this culinary / avian context. I wouldn't put SPIT in my grid at all, and if I did I would insist it be clued with one of its non-saliva meanings. There's an ick factor; and today, there's a weird anthropomorphization factor. This one answer completely blotted out the rest of the puzzle for me. 

But I guess there was a theme and I should address it, however briefly. I see that the concept is very ... precise; I mean, all for one and one for all, yes, that is exactly what you are doing as you solve, so the concept is literal, I'll give it that. But just look at the grid. It's just nonsense. RHALLVONEEY is a thing that is in this grid. If you're going to do the thing, there should be a good reason and a pleasant result of some sort for doing the thing. Doing the thing just to do the thing gets you, well, this: flagrant non-wordness. What's more, once you grok the theme, the rest of the themers all of a sudden get way way way easier, because you know those circled squares are going to have ALL or ONE in them, so you can just fill them in with very little help from crosses, without even looking at the clue. Also, once you do look at the clue, you know that both ALL and ONE are in there somewhere. SLY STONEALL is I think supposed to be the cleverest of the bunch, but it's actually the worst, in the sense of "least wacky." SLY STONE is a real person, and now ALL I want to do is listen to his music rather than think about this puzzle anymore. 

Further: Kevin SORBO is right-wing dipshit à la Chuck Woolery and Dean Cain and Scott Baio and James Woods and other has-been white-guy fuckwits of the entertainment world, so seeing his dumb ass in the grid wasn't any fun (34D: Kevin who played Hercules). I applied to Whittier (Nixon's alma mater!) when I was applying to college and had no idea they were the POETS (46A: Fitting nickname for athletes at Whittier College). That would not have been a selling point, even though I grew up to teach [checks notes] poetry. There was a big quake in Whittier my first year in college (I went to a different southern California college). No idea why you need to know that, but now you can figure out my exact age if you just do a little stalker-like googling. The "?" clues seem pretty straightforward, though big eyeroll for 13D: February 4th, for many? (SILENT R). There's no silent "R," there's just correct and incorrect pronunciation. Hate SAFARIS as a verb (1D: Travels à la Theodore Roosevelt in 1909-10). Had FICTION before FANTASY (3D: Bookstore section). Had no idea who RON Cephas Jones was. I barely watch network TV and don't care about the Emmys. If Rhea Seehorn has no Emmys (for playing attorney Kim Wexler on AMC's "Better Call Saul"), then the Emmys are clearly meaningless. Five seasons and she's Never Even Been Nominated, LOL, go to hell, Emmys. 

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

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