Dance partner for Fred / TUE 5-18-10 / TV husband of Phyllis / TV boss of Mary Richards / Hip-hopper's headgear / Little Munster

Constructor: Peter A. Collins

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: MIXED RESULTS (56A: Unclear outcome ... or what can be found literally in 20-, 29- and 47-Across) — anagrams of "RESULTS" can be found in three theme answers


Word of the Day: OTTIS Anderson (54D: Super Bowl XXV M.V.P. ___ Anderson) —

Ottis Jerome "O.J." Anderson (born January 19, 1957 in West Palm Beach, Florida), is a former American football running back. He was named the NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year by the Associated Press (AP) with the St. Louis Cardinals in 1979, and the MVP of Super Bowl XXV in 1991 when playing with the New York Giants. (wikipedia) — I'm guessing the "O.J." nickname has fallen by the wayside ...

• • •

Seems Mr. Collins likes the "mixed" themes. Here's one with "mixed" college team names. Here's a "Mixed Nuts" puzzle. Here's a "New WORLD Order" puzzle, where the word "WORLD" is mixed up. Perhaps there are more out there. I found these quickly. Today, RESULTS are MIXED. OK. This is a theme you come up with after you've done "MIXED NUTS" and think "what other 'MIXED' phrases are there...?" And here we are. I look forward to MIXED MESSAGES, MIXED METAPHORS, MIXED MARRIAGES, MIXED DRINKS, MIXED SIGNALS, MIXED COMPANY, etc. Today, ROBERT'S RULES is the only answer with any interest (the letters in RESULTS being not that interesting). I think of Cattle RUSTLERS and Horse Thieves, but it seems "HORSE RUSTLER" has some cred. STEEL TRUSSES = yawn. ECASH is bad, but ECASH over NTEST is worse. If PLAN B could've squeezed down there, then it would have been a funny joke, all the word/letter combos. The eastern bloc is almost entirely Es, Rs, Ts, and Ss (and includes the "word" ESSES). Whoever named OTTIS Anderson needs a good talking to. What the hell? Enjoyed the "MTM" subtheme (LOU GRANT, LARS), but that was the only real highlight for me today. Oh, and BAR FIGHT. I liked BAR FIGHT (38D: A bouncer might break one up).

Theme answers:

• 20A: Thief in a western (HORSE RUSTLER)
  
• 29A: Some metal frames (STEEL TRUSSES)
  
• 47A: Parliamentary procedure guide, familiarly (ROBERT'S RULES)
  
• 56A: Unclear outcome ... or what can be found literally in 20-, 29- and 47-Across (MIXED RESULTS)

I enjoyed the clue for STEVE. A lot. Nice to see the crossword punch that "All About STEVE" movie in the face (41A: "All About ___," 2009 Sandra Bullock bomb). Also liked the clue [Bacon runoff], if only because it suggests a breakfast meat election: pancetta vs. Canadian! That would be a fun election to vote in. Assuming the voting involved eating, and you were a meat-eater (and not a meat ESTER — 26D: Perfumery compound). I had to visualize pesto before getting PINE NUTS, because my mind just went "basil basil basil" (9D: Pesto ingredients). I thought the Little Munster was Ernie instead of EDDIE. I don't know why. Oh, maybe I do. ERNIE was the weird kid on "My Three Sons," which must have been on TV contemporaneously with "The Munsters."

And now a short write-up of my weekend trip to St. Maries, Idaho to celebrate my grandmother's 90th birthday. I have never seen all my mother's family in one place at one time, and most of the family in attendance I hadn't seen in anywhere from 7 to 22 years — my cousin John was shaking my hand and introducing his family as I was politely nodding, having no real idea whom I was talking to at first ... in my defense, I'd just gotten out of my car at the River Front Suites (on the banks of the Shadowy St. Joe River) after about 14 hours of travel, which began with my getting up at 4 a.m.

[The first thing you see as you drive into the Town Center — a jolly, two-story-tall axe murderer]

My family can have, let's say, complicated relationships with one another, at times, but this trip was pure joy. Most of my immediate family, all in from out of town (sister, mom, cousins, aunt, and all the children that go with), stayed in the Suites, so it was like sleep-away camp — all pizza and beer and whisky and kids blowing bubbles and playing dangerously close to the river and fire pits and stray dogs and what not.

[Everyone]

It was also a very crosswordy weekend. First of all, we ate dinner the night before the big party at CASA de ORO (two good Sp. xword words right there).

[Grandma likes margaritas ... she passed this trait on to all of us]

[Wait staff made her wear this as they sang "Happy Birthday" and presented her with a bowl of fried ice cream]

Additionally, I made a crossword for my grandmother's birthday. As I've said a million times, my grandma is the first person I ever saw solve a crossword. Turns out I made the puzzle too hard, and most people at the party didn't have much time to do it anyway, what with, you know, all the opportunities for actual face-to-face conversation. Still, it was fun to sit down and show my grandma the construction and how it related to her (my cousin Kate helped me tweak a lot of the clues to make them grandma-specific). I have photos of many members of my family sitting in the BPOE lodge (that's right: BPOE — Crosswordese 201!) trying to solve the thing. This includes photos of my 9-yr-old daughter and 8-yr-old nephew intently and competitively striving to finish it, despite the puzzle's being chock full of things they couldn't possibly know.

[Me in front of the BPOE, with its large, calligraphic letters prominently on display]

[Hungry ELK will bust through wooden walls, no problem. This one burst in with such force, he knocked the accent right off the "E" in "CAFE"]

[I did not know the "Exalted Ruler" could be a woman. Awesome.]

So a good time was had by all (btw — excellent espresso right down the street, in the Town Center, even in that tiny Idaho mountain town; a total life-saver for at least three of us). T-shirts were made with grandma's pic and name.

[Amazingly charismatic nephew, and mom, sporting the official birthday T-shirt]

There was a cake decorated like a quilt. There was a decent bar band. Sporadic dancing. Piles of pretty, ham-based munchies. Cream puffs. Champagne. The whole shebang was Eclectic, just like my grandma (and her lovely, artsy home). Here's a photo of me and her just before I left for my return to NY.

[1984 Crossword Puzzle Dictionary, which I found sitting atop her fridge]

I promise I'll be back before your 100th birthday, grandma. ALOT.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

P.S. you can get a .puz (AcrossLite) or an easily printable .pdf version of the grandma birthday puzzle here (chez crosswordfiend.com). You can also print from here:

Grandma 2