Acronymic weapon / FRI 7-10-26 / Suffix with caffe- / Relative of a bandeau / Wu Zetian of the Zhou dynasty, for one / Speculative musings / Smug know-it-all type / Branzino, by another name / Pescatarian steak option

Constructor: Willa Angel Chen Miller

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: none 

Word of the Day: Wu Zetian (8D: Wu Zetian of the Zhou dynasty, for one = EMPRESS) —

Empress Wu (17 February 624 – 16 December 705), commonly known as Wu Zetian, personal name Wu Zhao, was the only undisputed female sovereign in the history of China. She had previously held power as the empress consort of Emperor Gaozong of the Tang dynasty from 660 to 683 and as empress dowager during the reigns of her sons, Emperors Zhongzong and Ruizong, between 683 and 690. She was the sole ruler of the self-styled Zhou dynasty from 690 to 705.

In her early life, Wu served as a concubine of Emperor Taizong. After his death, she married his successor, Emperor Gaozong, becoming empress in 655. Wu exercised substantial political influence even before her elevation and gradually came to dominate court affairs. After Gaozong suffered a debilitating stroke in 660, she effectively administered the empire on his behalf until his death in 683. Breaking with precedent, Wu then consolidated power and prevented her sons from ruling. In 690, she proclaimed the Zhou dynasty in place of the Tang and crowned herself emperor. [...] 

In her later years, her governance became increasingly autocratic and extravagant. She was removed from power in the Shenlong Coup, which abolished the Zhou dynasty and restored the Tang, and died a few months later. (wikipedia)

• • •

This seemed fine. This square racetrack format (interlocking gridspanners around the edges of the puzzle) is not uncommon in lateweek themeless puzzles, and it usually provides for some interesting answers, as well as a fair amount of whoooosh—and today was no different. Not sure the marquee answers were as killer as I'd've liked. I liked SPILLED THE BEANS, but "I CAN ONLY IMAGINE..." was the only one that really made me sit up and take notice. Actually FAN INTERFERENCE is pretty good too. So I guess that bottom stack of 15s was the one real highlight for me ... which is interesting, because it was also the one real lowlight. Certainly a lowlight in my own personal solving performance, but also a kind of ugly patch where fill and cluing were concerned. I'm talking about the entire lower middle section, everything due south of the "+" mark at the center of the grid. I had both long answers driven straight through that section and so expected to make short work of it, but ... oof, no. Total spinout. The first issue was that I wrote in TANK TOP instead of TUBE TOP for 51A: Relative of a bandeau, but even after I tested TUBE TOP, I was getting nowhere because of all the Downs. No way the one-word clue [On] was getting me to ENABLED. As for a 2005 viral video about Hobbits, are you ****ing serious? (42D: "___ Taking the Hobbits to Isengard" (viral video from 2005)). A 21-year-old "viral video"?? What was I doing in 2005? New marriage, new home, new dog, little kid. Viral videos were not on my radar. Nor was most popular culture, frankly. Anyway, I looked at the "---YR-" pattern at the end of this answer today and thought "what the hell kind of Elvish-language bullsh*t am I dealing with here?" To have the answer end up as a mere contraction, man, that was the disappointment of the day. You made me think about LOTR and "viral videos" ... just to get to THEY'RE? Buzzkill. Then there was the -IFS ending on 39D: Speculative musings (WHAT-IFS). I was assuming the answer was one word (one non-hyphenated word). Like MOTIFS, only ... longer. 

But wait, there's more (of me struggling in the south): HAHAS??? People actually call laughs "yuks" but they absolutely do not call them HAHAS, my god (45A: Yuks). Never would've considered HAHAS without that initial "H" and ... that was Not forthcoming because that clue on HUNT was impenetrable (45D: Proceed with a game plan). I call foul on that clue—it really, really needs a "?" (which I'm surprised the puzzle didn't use, given how liberally it was doling them out today). I guess when you HUNT you "plan" to get "game," but come on. If you're going to do tortured wordplay like "game plan," throw me a "?" at least. I wanted PUNT at one point, figuring the game plan involved football (where, unlike hunting, you may actually have a "game plan"). I don't know how long I got held up down there—maybe not that long, by the clock. But by comparison to every other section of the puzzle, I was absolutely mired down there.

Not much else to say about this one. I rolled my eyes at the idea of "-INE" as a "suffix" for "Caffe-" (6A: Suffix with caffe-). I'm gonna start pronouncing it "kah-fay-EEN!" in "honor" of this dumbass clue. Speaking of suffixes, and the -ass suffix in particular, the NYTXW's ASS Era continues today with WISEASS (39A: Smug know-it-all type). I'm neutral on the whole ASS thing. On the one hand, who cares, people say these words, they're not really profane, so ... shrug. On the other, there is such a thing as oversaturation. ASS-containing answers no longer have novelty on their side. They've been done. They're not that exciting. More of a shrug. So I guess I shrug either way—because I don't think it's a big deal and because I don't think it's that impressive. ASS away, as far as I care. I just wish this puzzle had found a way to bring WISEASS and SEA BASS closer together. Who wouldn't love a WISEASS SEA BASS? That's a winning puzzle mascot right there.

Bullets:

• 1A: Acronymic weapon (TASER) — I forgot TASER was an acronym. I generally hate all things TASER (incl. the verb TASE) and wish the puzzle would stay away from that particular instrument of brutality, but those letters are so common, so useful, I understand why TASER and TASE and TASED keep coming back.
• 4D: Things that come with waffles? (ERS) — when you waffle, you are indecisive, and you might utter a sound of hesitation, such as "er..." If you make several such utterances, then there you are: ERS. That wasn't so bad, was it?
• 9D: Ginormous quantity (SCAD) — I will continue to maintain that there is no such thing as a singular SCAD. Only scads. See also "kudo" (sorry for not getting angry about that one yesterday, as so many of you seem to have wanted)
• 5D: Short Instagram video (REEL) — one reason I didn't get TASER more quickly is that I had CLIP here, which made my "Acronymic weapon" end in "C." "REELs" is the proprietary name for Instagram's short-form in-app video production format.
• 36A: Creator of the Detroit Industry Murals (RIVERA) — say what you will about Geraldo, he's very talented.

[I know it's Diego]

• 16D: Subjects of certain reviews at Untappd.com (ALES) — easy for me. I don't drink beer, but some of my beer-drinker friends will post their Untappd reviews to social media. It's an app for discovering beers and logging your own ... personal beer journey? I think? 
• 51A: Relative of a bandeau (TUBE TOP) — a bandeau is essentially a strip of cloth that wraps around the breasts, like a strapless bikini top, but if Google Image Search is at all accurate, it looks like "bandeau" is being used to describe a garment that covers much more of the midriff than a bikini top would—strapless and tight-fitting, but more regular streetwear than beachwear.

• 12D: Relatives of sloths (ANTEATERS) — huh. Did not know they were related, but it's true. Together they make up the order Pilosa.
• 22D: Branzino, by another name (SEA BASS) — I thought Branzino was some kind of beef. Isn't there some special expensive beef dish that sounds like "Branzino"? Maybe I saw "branzino" on a menu and just assumed it was beef. Anyway, when this came up fish, I was mildly surprised. 
• 29D: Not be square with (OWE) — yes, I too wrote in LIE here at first.

[Thanks for this, Maura]

Thats all for today. See you next time. 

 Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Facebook and Letterboxd]
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