Break, slangily / SUN 6-8-25 / Beefy, as gym bros / Tall, chic woman / Hardy mountain plants / Lesser deities in Greek mythology / Spider-Man's lightning-wielding foe / Literally, "panting," in Greek / Wedding toast signals / Subject of the Liberi painting "The Birth of Love" / Some narrative homages, informally / Last-one-standing fights / Smallest discrete units of energy / Colorful feature of a lawn

Constructor: John Kugelman

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: "Meeting Their Match" — a puzzle depicting ANIMAL MAGNETISM (108A: Powerful force of attraction on display in this puzzle?). The idea is that two vaguely related Down answers are paired together, and their tail ends are drawn toward each other at ninety-degree angles by horseshoe magnets (depicted in the grid)—these tail ends contain the names of animals ... so the magnets draw the animals toward one another ... thus, ANIMAL MAGNETISM:

Theme answers:

• ABS OF STEEL / ACTION STAR (EEL & RAT are magnetized) (1D: What Jason Momoa has, notably / 9D: Jason Statham or Sylvester Stallone)
• CONGREGANT / HOUSE OF GOD (ANT & DOG are magnetized) (10D: Churchgoer / 18D: Church)
• GREEN GRASS / PERIWINKLE (ASS & ELK are magnetized) (54D: Colorful feature of a lawn / 58D: Ground cover plant with trailing vines and five-petaled flowers)
• NOODLE BOWL / EGG FOO YUNG (OWL & GNU are magnetized) (60D: Japanese restaurant order / 64D: Chinese restaurant order)

Word of the Day: BORK (19A: Break, slangily) —

• • verb US, politics, often pejorative To defeat a judicial nomination through a concerted attack on the nominee's character, background and philosophy.
  • verb To misconfigure, especially a computer or other complex device.
  • verb To break or damage.
  From the 1987 United States Supreme Court nomination of Robert Bork. (wordnik)

• • •

Gonna make this short because I have nothing nice to say. I rarely say that I outright "hated" a puzzle, but this one ... let's just say I was having real trouble finding joy. I'm still stuck on BORK. What? Also, why? I have never heard this term outside of the rejected Reagan Supreme Court nominee. And neither had the puzzle, before today. You've got two [Jurist Robert] clues back in the '90s, then a very weird (if inventive) Muppets clue from 2021: [When tripled, catchphrase of the Muppets' Swedish Chef]. And now ... this. I left the BORK / SORBATE cross blank for the whole puzzle because I just ... couldn't believe BORK could be an answer. I knew that BORK was turned into a verb meaning (roughly) "to attack a nominee" or "to thwart a nomination"—when nominations get tanked by organized campaigns and attacks, you sometimes hear that a nominee "got borked" (named after the aforementioned "jurist"). But this "break" meaning? No idea. And the clue gives no context. Apparently there's a secondary meaning of "bork" meaning "to cause to stop working; break," that seems to come specifically, or at least primarily, from the world of computers. If the clue had said so, at least I'd've known it was some specialized term I'd never heard of, and I could've acceded to BORK (ugh) more easily and moved on. But no. Looks like it didn't exist before 2003, so I may just be too old for it (my wife also had never heard of it). You could lose BORK in that corner so easily. Change it to BORN, and cross it with [Carry-ONS], so much simpler and more accessible, and above all, less distracting. Or go with ASTA / ANS. (short for "answer") if that's more to your liking. Just for god's sake get rid of BORK. If the theme is putting huge pressure on your grid already (and it is), you really should make things smooth and clean wherever you can. If the rest of the puzzle had worked, I doubt I'd be so annoyed at BORK, but it's emblematic of the rest of the puzzle, which is loaded with ... puzzling decisions. Why would you choose BORK? In an already weak corner (SRAS, OBI, ASTO, SORBATE)? So much unappealing fill today, including (apparent) Across answers that are total nonsense (TEEL, DOGF, ELKN, etc.). And then DO A JIG? GLAMAZON??? It's ick everywhere I look. OLESTRA is always an "ew." ZIP TIES just make me think of all the I.C.E. raids happening around the country right now. Grim and off-putting stuff everywhere. 

And the theme is so strange. Like, I get the "animal" part, but why are the magnetized answers paired? And in extremely weak ways??? Why is a Japanese meal paired with a Chinese meal??? Those are ... different cuisines. GREEN GRASS and PERIWINKLE are both ground cover, I guess, but ... why? Seriously, the rationale is lost on me (also, what other color would grass be??). The themer pairs are vaguely from the same universe, but they are not that tight at all. And they have nothing at all to do with the animals involved in the "magnetism," so ... conceptually, this seems like a wreck. Further, how (how!) in the world do you have a magnet that is literally attached to "STEEL" but then have it be Entirely Irrelevant To The Theme?! Bizarre. 

Is BATTLE ROYALES a themer? It looks like it wants to be a themer, or an explainer, since it's a long, centered Across answer (just like the revealer), but I think it's just regular old non-thematic fill (66A: Last-one-standing fights). I really want the actual plural to be BATTLES ROYALE, like Surgeons General. STRATO!? DAEMONS??? The fill all feels so tortured. I see why the "animal" part of this theme might be appealing, but the fact that the animals appear in nonsense fragments (RASS!), and the fact that the pairing of theme answers makes little sense, and the fact that the fill is so wobbly, all adds up to a deeply unpleasant experience. I'm just gonna go straight to bullet points now. Gah, TINGS!?!? (28A: Wedding toast signals). Dear lord, what is happening? TINGS?! Only the second appearance of TINGS since 1976.  We went forty years (!!) without TINGS (1976-2016). Those were good times. I knew 2016 was a terrible year, but I didn't realize how terrible. Let's shoot for another forty TINGS-less years! I believe in you, constructors of America! OK, seriously, moving on now.

Bullet points:

• 1D: What Jason Momoa has, notably (ABS OF STEEL) — no, he doesn't have them, notably. He has chiseled abs, sure, but ABS OF STEEL, as a phrase, is a trademark exercise program from the '90s starring Tamilee Webb. Looks like it's now also some kind of fat-burning cream for your abs (!?!?). Just weird to take something brand-specific and use it like it's a generic term for "good abs."

[if apostrophes could kill...]

• 26A: It's a cinch! (OBI) — I wanted TIE. Had trouble committing to TRAINEE for a bit because of that terminal "I." But an OBI is indeed a "cinch," in that it's a sash that you "cinch" around your kimono.
• 32A: Some narrative homages, informally (FANFIC) — tough, insofar as the plural-seeming clue does not give you a countable plural answer ending in "S."
• 57A: Hardy mountain plants (ALPINES) — had no idea "alpine" was anything but an adjective referring to "mountains."
• 83A: Beefy, as gym bros (SWOLE) — ah, see, now here's some recentish "slang" that I actually know. SWOLE bros have ABS OF STEEL! Real SWOLE bros don't BORK the gym equipment. Up with SWOLE, down with BORK!
• 99A: One-named pop star with releases on the Monkey Puzzle record label (SIA) — is that record label bit supposed to mean anything to anyone? You could've stopped this clue after [One-named pop star]. She's not ENYA-level common, as one-named crossword pop stars go, but she's up there.
• 84D: Subject of the Liberi painting "The Birth of Love" (EROS) — don't know this painting, never heard of this artist (who has never been in the crossword, despite having a name that seems very grid-friendly). But I got EROS easily enough—inferred from "Love."

• 121A: Smallest discrete units of energy (QUANTA) — been fourteen years since we've seen this bad boy. I idiotically (hastily, rashly, not-very-thinkingly) wrote in QUARKS here at first.
• 14D: Literally, "panting," in Greek (ASTHMA) — did not know that. Also, misread this as [Literally "painting," in Greek]. 
• 27D: "My man" ("SIR") — wanted "BRO," but no. Then wanted "'SUP!," but no. The seemingly formal "SIR" has, in fact, made its way round to a kind of facetiously formal informal acknowledgment akin to "my man," but you really need to hear it in context for the equivalency to be clear. On the page, not so clear.

OK, that's all. See you next time.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

P.S. if you're looking for some fun, original, contemporary puzzles *and* you want to support US-based transgender charities (who need the support more than ever), then Good News! A new puzzle pack just dropped called "A Trans Person Made Your Puzzle"—ten puzzles of varying difficulties and sizes, all made by trans and nonbinary people, including some of the most talented, prolific, and experienced constructors I know (Francis Heaney! Ada Nicolle!). I've already started in on the pack and the puzzles are delightful. They are also, frankly, chock full o' stuff—LGBTQ-specific stuff, pop cultural stuff—that is new to me. But since the puzzles are really well made and edited, I can still solve them! Fresh, non-exclusionary puzzles! That's what I like. To get the puzzles, all you gotta do is donate at least $10 to a US-based trans charity listed on the puzzle pack's website, send your receipt to the puzzlemakers, and then they send you the puzzles. I got mine quickly—the same day. They've already plowed right through their initial fundraising goals (>$12,000 as of 6/4) and are now setting stretch goals. To read more about the project, and to get the puzzles for yourself, go here: "A Trans Person Made Your Puzzle." 

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